Been putting off updating this for a while. I made a collection of the stuff I did during the second half of 2019. Was kind of a difficult year. Hoping for a better one this time.
I realized that I don't really have any desire to tell stories with my art, or even really to write fiction. It's a notion that I've had for a while, that is, doing these things. But, I think it came more out of adoration and enjoyment in consuming media.
For as long as I can remember, I have had a lifeless imagination. There are no characters interacting there. No great yarn that I must spin. Aphantasia makes it like this. To me, the idea of spending countless hours on story seems like a gruesome, frustrating hell. I wonder why it took me so long to realize.
Indeed, it's the case that I feel much like a fake whenever I try to tell or make stories. The characters seem to fall lifelessly on the page. Perhaps I will put effort in telling stories again one day for the sake of sucking at it. But it's no longer a real artistic goal for me. I wonder, what the fascination is in something I have never done for fun. I suppose the naivete was expecting something I didn't enjoy doing to some day become enjoyable. I have caused much pain to myself, procrastinating on the notion of stories, as a person that at the core isn't interested in telling stories.
What now, then? I am considering to create manga-inspired artwork and to sell it. Originals and prints. I wonder if people will be interested in my inhuman tastes in art. You see, at the core I cannot shake off the feeling of meaningless I have for art. I'm convinced I don't experience art like the common person might. However, I feel that this reflects the nature of our absurd and beautiful world. Yes, in a way I feel that turning the absurd into something beautiful is something that may come naturally to me.
Anyways, I still don't know what this art will look like, as I've only gotten started.
But, here's some stuff that I did before, messing around with using spaced repetition for doing studies. I'll talk about it more if I do more. I started out with the idea of doing 5-minute ones, but realized that is not enough time and moved up to 10 minutes.
Anyways, for a disclaimer, you should click on the images below to open them in a new tab.
I also decided to do 5-minute sketches as a practice. My goal was to get to 500 sketches. It's not really something I'm aiming to complete, but we'll see.
5-minute sketches >
10-minute spaced repetition studies
5-minute spaced repetition studies
Link to 2019 collection.
https://mega.nz/#F!DFZilYRS!R-EdgyLJr6shuKntBjG_5w