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Author Topic: (Two) True Souls  (Read 6064 times)

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Offline Nightrel

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(Two) True Souls
« on: June 03, 2011, 07:19:33 PM »
He layed there, Unconsciouss. Blood slowly puddling around him. But it was not his own. The red, thick liquid was a mixture of those who were laying around him dead. Each who probably deserved to be killed, for what they have created that should have never existed. But yet again, maybe that was a good thing.

Part 1   

   Waking up, he found the stench overwhelming. He gagged as the smell of death was suffocating him.
“What is this?”
He looked up to see bodies everywhere, each frozen with the expression of terror on their faces. He looked but did not care, only caring to escape the stench. He got up staggering towards what seemed to be an emergency exit. He snorted.
“Well that door was of much use.”
Stumbling outside, he took a sharp intake of the crisp, cold air. The sun was barely rising over the mountains, slowly shining light upon the city. It’s so beautiful. But the images of blood splattering and frozen faces on the bodies, finally hit him….hard. He gripped the railing tightly, trying to keep himself from throwing up. He was afraid though that he killed them all. But why? He thought, What did they ever do to me? Realization dawned upon him, his memories were blank.  He can’t remember anything not even his own name.
   He jumped as he felt something drip from his arm. He looked down to see that his clothes were soaked in blood as well as his hair. He can feel it starting to slowly dry on his skin. I need to find somewhere to wash off. Without a second thought, he started off down the short flight of stairs. He ran, trying to get away before the city woke up.

Part 2

         It was barely 8:00 a.m. The ambulances and police cars were parked outside of the laboratory; lights still flashing. Another car then just pulled up, parking on the other side of the street. The driver stepped out, already scanning the area before approaching the building. He wore nice black slacks with a white shirt and a lose tie. Over his shoulders was black trench coat, blocking the chilly morning. His appearance was intimidating, of course his shaggy black hair and grey eyes didn't help. He only looked to be in his middle thirties.
        Two policemen walked out and quickly noticed him. One walked over while the other went back inside. "Detective Ebisu?" the policeman asked.
"Yes?"
"Follow me sir."
The detective humphed, obviously not pleased how he was ordered. The policeman ignored him, already forewarned about his personality. Ebisu was not a sheep. Meaning he doesn't like to follow others but rather much lead. He always usually never gives anything away, and he is a lot clever then what he puts on show. Probably too clever.......other than that he can be a big teddy bear and won't fight unless it is necessary.
         This time the detective decided to let it slide and followed him into the building. As they entered one of the main labs the detective took in a sharp intake of air. Never before has he seen this type of crime scene in his life. It was usually just a couple of victims and some blood that splattered the walls or limbs cut off or eyes gouged out, stuff like that. No the whole room was covered in blood. As if someone painted it onto the walls and ceiling. It even was still wet and dripping from the ceiling; still not dry. He looked down to the floor to see that it was almost like a puddle of red liquid that covered the whole ground. Except for spots that looked like outlines of bodies. It was something that seemed to have been plucked out of a horror movie, especially when, on the left side of the room, was a cell that had some kind of operating table. The straps were broken and the cell bars ripped in the middle.
“Ebisu?” A surprised voice said behind him. He jumped, startled by the voice but then quickly realized who it was and didn’t answer.
“Well, fine ignore your friend who hasn’t seen you in years, I get it.” She walked past him kind of stomping her feet. He rolled his eyes.
“It’s nice to see you too Leoren.” She turned around and smiled.
“Now what dragged you out here? I thought you didn’t want to be involved anymore.” He looked at her blinking slowly. She hadn’t changed a bit. She was wearing a shirt that had one long sleeve. It was black with some white. She was also wearing gloves and black slacks with flats. She was very tall probably about 5’11. Her hair color is a brown reddish color and her eyes were caramel colored. Leoren is thirty-three, about three years younger than him.
   “No I was going to stop but this case caught my eye. I had a bad feeling about, so I decided this would be my last one.” Then he thought I wish I didn’t pick this one up.
She snorted “You always have bad feelings.”
“No this one was different.” She shrugged, turning back to the scene before them.
“The culprit seems to have left about two hours ago” She said. “But I can say that maybe he was more of the victim than the scientists.” She paused kind of shuddering. “They did horrible experiments on him; it looked like they were doing something illegal. But at the end something went wrong. He broke free and slaughtered those who were in the cell with him. Then he got a hold of……….Battle claws? He seemed to have made it appear out of thin air. He strapped them on and well……You know. He is lightning fast with tons of agility and strength. I would say he wiped everybody out within a minute.” She turned around again to face him.
“That’s all I got.”
Leoren has the ability to “feel” or sense anything that has already passed. Sometimes in great detail. But she is very lucky; those who have this type of ability are unable to switch it on or off. Being able to turn it off anytime she wanted, this kept her from going insane and landing herself into the looney bin.
“The problem is, he could be traumatized not knowing what had happened and wandering the streets. That’s what it seemed like to me when he just got up and walked out of here kind of dazed.”
“Do you think we’ll be able to trace him?”
She shook her head. “Not unless we are close to him.”
“Damn” he sighed. Then he began to think. It clicked.
“What about his footsteps?” Leoren just kind of looked at him confused. Then it came to her.
“Oh.”
Just then as if on cue, a policeman came up to them.
“We were already on it and tracked him until he disappeared at the river.”

He sat there, curled up in the corner of the abandon house.
“What am I going to do?” he whispered to himself. He was completely dry and free of the blood stains after washing in the river, but he still can feel it on his skin unable to truly wash it all away.
“Do I go to the police?” he continued  “Or no. I could have killed them though?” He was so frustrated and confused. He kept thinking that he should turn himself in but he knew then he would be locked up, unable to figure out who he was or what had happened.
“No I shouldn’t” he finally decided. “Not until I know why I killed those people (if he did) and my past.”  As he settled on the thought, his eyes began to droop. Finally closing them and falling into a deep slumber.

Part 3

     Voices, too many voices. Some were just talking but then they turned into screams. A laugh, and his own voice was heard. He was screaming stop. Why? It was his own voice asking, but it was different. “Why should we? We have every right too. Don’t try to save those who have harmed us. We both want them to suffer slowly, we both want to murder. No matter what we do, we will always have this urge to hunt.”
   He felt his own body jump and woke up, startled. It was just a dream, he sighed in relief. I wonder if I’m going insane. Hmmm…..We not I……strange. Suddenly he could hear voices outside. He froze. Crap! He quickly ran to the window to see two teenage guys walking towards the house. They both were wearing what looked to be like uniforms, and were carrying some type of equipment. One had brown short spiky hair and tan skin. From the distance he could tell he had hazel eyes. He had soft, kind looking features to his face. The other who was taller had black and little longer hair. His face looked to be sharper and his eyes were green. They both seemed to be in deep conservation. So he shifted to the other side to get a better view. Suddenly, the brunette teenager stopped and looked towards his direction. Thinking that the brunette would see him, he ducked. But what had made him look towards my direction in the first place?

“Hey…..Satoru.”
“What? Oh, why you stop?”
“I think somebody’s hiding inside the abandon house.
“Huh?” He looked over towards the house they were heading towards. They were going to set up a lab or a headquarters of some type. A place where they will be able to build new technology or come up with new ideas. They were both extremely smart, and luckily didn’t end up looking like geeks. At first glance you wouldn’t even know that they were genius.
   There a blur of movement by the window. He sighed.
“Let me guess, you heard him right?” Hiroyuki just looked at him and grinned.
“Of course.” Hiroyuki has extremely sharp hearing. One better than any kind of animal. Guess you can say that’s his ability. Satoru on the other hand, doesn’t have any other abilities besides being a genius. But he does know how to fight…….through martial arts classes.
Well?” He said. “Let’s go make a new friend!”
“You know, you can be scary sometimes.” Satoru grumbled.

     “Hello?!” A sing song voice echoed through the house.
You’re just going to scare him off
“No he’s still here. Went upstairs.”
Hiroyuki walked towards the stairs that was there by the entrance. The house was pretty big and about four room’s total. One downstairs and three upstairs. The kitchen and the living room were kind of merged together, but both sides had plenty of room. Satoru stopped before he ran into his friend. At the top of the stairs, he pointed to the room on his right. Getting the message satoru went around him and entered the room first. Nothing, nobody was in there. Going in further he heard rustling and then the closest door fell down. Both of the high schoolers jumped, startled by the crash. What had caused it? It was the boy who fell out from his hiding place.

    He was on all fours. The closet door gave way when he was leaning against it. Now it was underneath him. “Damn that hurt” he mumbled, rubbing the left side of his cheek.
“Hey you alright?” a voice asked. He looked up surprised, kind of forgetting there were two other people there. Then he stood up, ignoring the other two boys and checked for anymore injuries.

    “Uhh….”  There was awkward silence. They didn’t know what to say or do except stare at him. Hiroyuki finally said something. “Hey you alright?” The boy just looked at them and stood up ignoring them as he was inspecting himself. It was hard not to stare at the guy. Finally they were able to pull their eyes away after the mysterious boy gave them an icy glare.
“What?” He demanded
Sorry, were just not….use to people looking like you...” Hiroyuki said. Now the boy seemed confused.
“Huh?” Now Satoru was confused.
“Don’t you know what you look like” he asked him.
The boy shook his head.
“Umm…there is a mirror over in the bathroom in the hallway.” the brunette said.
The boy raised his eyebrows, and then walked out looking for the bathroom. Satoru looked at the brunette, who just gave a shrug in reply.

     He walked into the bathroom but froze. What do I look like? Do I want t know? Of course I do, he thought, I’m just being silly. He looked into the mirror and groaned. His hair was about ear length that was kind of spiky. The color was brown but had a generous amount of white mixed in. His eye color was something that would defiantly catch your eye. The left eye was green, while the other was purple. He seemed to be about medium height, and he could tell that he had some muscles, but they didn’t stand out that much. “Why?” he shouted. “Why do I have to look like this? I stand out!” He was upset. Now he couldn’t just blend into the crowd, like he was planning too. “First the lab, now this!” He yelled to the air in frustration. He walked out but swayed, feeling dizzy.
The two boys heard him shout something about standing out and a lab?
“Should we-?” but Hiroyuki had already walked out to find the boy leaning against the wall. He looked like he was about to pass out.
“Hey!” Hiroyuki said. He looked up, his eyes glazed over, and then he fell.
“SATORU!” He shouted while running over to the boy. He came rushing out of the room.
“He just passed out!”
“Malnutrition. It looks like he hasn’t eaten in months. What should we do?” he said.
“Bring him to my place! My mom won’t mind.”
“What?”
“Well we can’t just leave him here.”
“I should’ve guessed that you would do something like this.”
Hiroyuki rolled his eyes.
“Just help me.”

Pathetic




Here was part 3. Sorry if that seems short again don't know what else to type yet. Anyways also sorry, I said i would have this posted monday but it didn't happen. Stupid spanish homework project
But I got it up the next day.......Well hope you guys like it so far. Don't be shy to post or critique. I want them.
       Arigato

P.S. The voice who said pathetic was neither Hiroyuki or Satoru. Just have to wait, to find out. hehehehe yes I can be mean like that.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2011, 06:42:07 PM by Nightrel »
Illusions.....or real illusions, Hidden within illusions are real illusions, From real illusions emerge illusions, Lies hidden within the truth
Truth hidden within the lies, This is the mist
          -Rokudo Mukuro

Offline ChiefSosa300

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2011, 07:14:48 PM »
Its sounds Koool ure right too short looking forward for the second part though becuase boy i felt like i read nothin  ;)
Our motto on our hard days of training “To be stronger than yesterday” If i have to I’ll be stronger than a half day ago, even a minute ago.
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Offline Nightrel

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2011, 11:22:29 AM »
I know its.......*sigh*.....but i think i got the second part done the problem is though i look back on it and i would change something here or there....i just need to post it and im planning on doing so today. But im glad you think it sounds cool. Thats what i was trying to aim for and making an awesome story ( hahaha)
Illusions.....or real illusions, Hidden within illusions are real illusions, From real illusions emerge illusions, Lies hidden within the truth
Truth hidden within the lies, This is the mist
          -Rokudo Mukuro

Offline everlastin01

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2011, 05:53:39 PM »
cool
is ti me or when someone reads you but yourself in the character body and see what is happening......bcuz i just scared myself reading that small bit......
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Offline Nightrel

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2011, 08:15:14 PM »
cool
is ti me or when someone reads you but yourself in the character body and see what is happening......bcuz i just scared myself reading that small bit......

hahahaha its not just you, when i edited this small bit I scared myself also. And you can imagine how VIVID it was since I was the one who made it up.  :push:
Illusions.....or real illusions, Hidden within illusions are real illusions, From real illusions emerge illusions, Lies hidden within the truth
Truth hidden within the lies, This is the mist
          -Rokudo Mukuro

Offline everlastin01

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2011, 12:38:05 PM »
 :unsure: :unsure: :unsure:................. D:
deeply scared now!!!!!
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Offline everlastin01

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2011, 12:48:09 PM »
name the detective Bob!!! JK!!
how about Ebisu?
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Offline Nightrel

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2011, 11:10:16 PM »
name the detective Bob!!! JK!!
how about Ebisu?

That I might use! Isn't ebisu the name for some kind of god who brings wealth and good fortune and watches over young children? I think that might be the one, it will be perfect. Thanks!
Illusions.....or real illusions, Hidden within illusions are real illusions, From real illusions emerge illusions, Lies hidden within the truth
Truth hidden within the lies, This is the mist
          -Rokudo Mukuro

Offline Creamoclapton

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2011, 09:21:37 PM »
That's an interesting start. I'd say don't worry about the censoring. I was able to figure out what it was and probably so will everyone else. If you want to have your detective named that, then don't change it for the censors. But i'm anit-censorship of any kind so I might be biased. Keep it coming! You have me hooked.

Offline Creamoclapton

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2011, 09:58:17 PM »
I thought about this for a bit and something did bug me: how did the chick know exactly what happended? Did she see a survailence tape? Does she have psycic powers? Or is she just a good guesser. You migjt want to explain that. Just a bit of, what I hope is, constructive criticism. :)

Offline Tianzi

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2011, 10:18:05 PM »
This really caught my attention. :) Great job, I'd love to read more.

And you asked about the chan, kun, and san thing?  Well I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that when chan is used at the end of a name, it's kind of to be cute or to show fondness or something? I'm pretty sure it's usually used for girls.  Then I believe kun is for boys, usually young boys.  Than san is like saying Mister or miss; it shows respect.  Like I said though, I'm not 100% sure. XD I'd google it if I were you, you can probably find a much better explaination.

Offline everlastin01

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2011, 04:32:54 PM »
Ebisu is a japanese name that had luck in the definition.......tried to get a name with the luck in the definition for you
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Offline Nightrel

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2011, 08:03:54 PM »
Ebisu is a japanese name that had luck in the definition.......tried to get a name with the luck in the definition for you
I don't know.....there are so many meanings for one thing but i'm going to use it still so thanks again!
Illusions.....or real illusions, Hidden within illusions are real illusions, From real illusions emerge illusions, Lies hidden within the truth
Truth hidden within the lies, This is the mist
          -Rokudo Mukuro

Offline Nightrel

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2011, 08:09:06 PM »
I thought about this for a bit and something did bug me: how did the chick know exactly what happended? Did she see a survailence tape? Does she have psycic powers? Or is she just a good guesser. You migjt want to explain that. Just a bit of, what I hope is, constructive criticism. :)
To answer your question....I guess you can say she is pyschic, but not somebody who can predict the future or sense ghost stuff like that. I guess you can say more kind of like feeling the things that had happened like really high instincts but works for things that had already happened. But you can boil it down to being a psychic. i should probably explain it some more  :hmm: I'll figure it out and write it into the story  :push:
Illusions.....or real illusions, Hidden within illusions are real illusions, From real illusions emerge illusions, Lies hidden within the truth
Truth hidden within the lies, This is the mist
          -Rokudo Mukuro

Offline everlastin01

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Re: (Two) True Souls
« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2011, 12:06:30 PM »
it sorta sounds like a story i'm working on except.......wait i have to save that for late when i post it.....first i have to find where i put it.....lol me and paper
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