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Author Topic: "Birna and the tower of death"  (Read 411 times)

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Offline wrathborne

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Re: "Birna and the tower of death"
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2023, 04:14:03 PM »
I considered giving her pants and boots, then shorts and boots, and then I started thinking more about how much money she would have, what clothes she'd wear as well as the status within this world and shes just a farm girl really.

Birna wouldn't have much money, wouldn't have nice clothes or clothes that really fit.  The idea of a small character with a long dress that sort of drags behind her as she walks and moves around is a lot of fun visually. It helps make her look smaller as well.

Heres chapter 5! Oh and (O.S)? That means off-screen.

Spoiler
ext. rough road- day

A carriage pulls up the top of a hill above a forest glen.

In the carriage the DRIVER turns around.

DRIVER
Ok, this is it!

Birnas curled up against several rugs fast asleep

DRIVER
Hey, kid! Wake up!

Birnas eyes burst open and she eyes daggers at the Driver.

BIRNA
I ain't a kid!

DRIVER
Well ya look like one, get out!

BIRNA
This is Grimwald?

DRIVER
This is as far as I go.

The carriage rides away in the opposite direction while Birna studies the view. In the distance is a town by a lake, the land looks dreary and is eerily silent.

Birna marches down the hill.

EXT. GRIMWALD - DAY

Grimwald town square. several buildings are abandoned and few people are present. There's signs of life in the tavern.

INT. TAVERN- DAY

At the counter a LADY BARKEEP wipes a glass while OLD MAN and FATMAN anxiously sip their drinks.

LADY BARKEEP
You're kidding. Laila too?

OLD MAN
Yeah, two days ago.

FATMAN
Poor girl. Least she's with her parents now.

The Barkeep smacks the Fatman across the head.

LADY BARKEEP
Have some respect, you idiot! They were good people!

BIRNA(O.S)
What happened to them?

Everyone turns and spots Birna.

LADY BARKEEP
You aren't from around here.

BIRNA
Whats wrong with this town?

OLD MAN
You shouldn't be here, little one.

FATMAN
Not unless you want the storm to take you.

Birna pulls up a stool.

BIRNA
Go on, I'm listenin'.

FATMAN
4 years ago, folks started vanishing. First children, then teenagers, and finally adults. Always when it rains.

OLD MAN
Last year the whole Bruge family vanished during the rain season and their house was smashed to bits.

BIRNA
The towers behind this. Why didn't ya ask a noble for help? They got soldiers to spare.

OLD MAN
We couldn't pay what the Duke of Rienhardt was asking for.

LADY BARKEEP
Best hurry to your parents before it gets late, kid. A storms on its way.

BIRNA
...I ain't a kid but I'll fix yer problems.

Everyone chuckles.

FATMAN
Get out of here while you can, kid. Go play hero somewhere safe.

BIRNA
I AIN'T a kid, fatty! The hell is wrong with you weirdos! I killed a giant crap fly that was...Twice as big as this tavern last week! I can do this!

LADY BARKEEP
A crap fly? Wait, was this the old Warick couples farm?

BIRNA
Uh...Maybe?

Everyone bursts out laughing.

OLD MAN
YOU'RE the crap diver!?

Birnas jaw drops and she blushes.

BIRNA
...NO!

LADY BARKEEP
You're shorter than what Old Man Warick said!

FATMAN
If you want a place to sleep, I've got fertilizer you can sleep in!

BIRNA
Hell with all of ya!

Birna hops off the stool and stomps out the tavern.

ext. Grimwald - day

Dusk. Birna has a small fire set up beside her tent. Arms crossed and scowling.

BIRNA
I CAN'T believe that old jackass blabbed! Oughta go back there and get my money back!

She groans.

BIRNA
Is it always gonna be like this?  No one elses doing anything about the tower. What do I gotta do to get some respect?

She lies down and watches clouds spread across the sky. Her eyes are misty.

BIRNA
Mom and Dad were tall. It's not fair, why I gotta be the only one whose short?

ext. tavern - night

The Barkeep drags out a bin of trash around the back of the tavern. Lightning flashes and she looks up, her eyes widen.

Atop the roof of her tavern a large shadowy thing with one glowing eye studies her, it opens its mouth and grumbles.

She opens her mouth to scream.

Thunder rumbles

the end.

Offline wrathborne

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Re: "Birna and the tower of death"
« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2023, 09:15:35 PM »
CH6.
Spoiler
ext. grimwald woods - day

The sky's full of storm clouds and wide medium sized boulders surround the woods by the lake.

Birna studies the woods and spots a wide crater in the ground, then notices slime all over some of the rocks.

Her stomach grumbles.

BIRNA
Oh, shut up.

Her stomach grumbles louder.

BIRNA
No! Only place to around here to get food is that tavern!

Her stomach ROARS at her.

BIRNA
I hate you, you know that?

ext. Grimwald town square - day

Birna marches into town, covered herself up with her cloak.

BIRNA
Hope no one else knows about the crap fly. Lousy big mouths.

She notices the towns empty.

BIRNA
Where is everyone? There were a few people here yesterday.

Birna spots the tavern, a section of it has collapsed.

int. tavern - day

Inside, Birna surveys the damage. The roof hasn't collapsed, its been smashed in by something incredibly heavy.

BIRNA
Anyone here!?

Her stomach grumbles.

BIRNA
Shaddup stomach!

There's dribbles of slime that coat some debris.

BIRNA
More of this stuff?

EXT. GRIMWALD TOWN SQUARE - DAY

Birna sits beside an old well deep in thought.

BIRNA
K...storm comes, people vanish, Gotta be a monster. What kind?

A bird flies past Birna and poops in front of her.

Birna pauses.

BIRNA
Naw...If it was a bird there'd be poop. I'll bet even the tower can't stop birds from pooping everywhere.

VOICE(O.S)
You the crap diver?

She spins around.

BIRNA
Shut up, ya-

ALDON(13) anxiously peaks from behind a building.

A bird poops on her. She sighs defeatedly.

BIRNA
...Yeh.

ALDON
You really killed a giant crap fly?

BIRNA
Yeh.

ALDON
Thats AMAZING!

Birna stares wide eyed at Aldon, then scoffs.

BIRNA
Wasn't a big deal. Killed it in one sword swing! Was twice as big as that tavern.

ALDON
I TOLD my mom the monsters weren't that tough! I knew we could kill em'!

BIRNA"We?"

ALDON
You know, kids.

Birna scowls.

Her stomach roars again.

int. aldons home - day

Birna munches on a sausage in a small kitchen as Aldon  washes dishes.

BIRNA
Thanks, Aldon.

ALDON
No problem, how you gonna kill the monster?

BIRNA
Gotta find it first. Ain't sure what it is yet.

ALDON
I think its a lizard.

BIRNA
How ya figure?

ALDON
I saw it last night, it was attacking the tavern. I only saw it for a moment...It was eating Marla, the bar keep and then it was gone.

BIRNA
Hmm...That could be it. I don't know whats happened to it. The tower could have turned it into a remnant or an abomination.

ALDON
Whats an abomination?

BIRNA
Its BAD. But neither of these options are good. Remnants are strong enough to wipe out villages.

ALDON
You can really kill this thing, right Birna?

BIRNA
Course! Killing monsters is my thing.

Aldon looks sad.

ALDON
Thats what the last group of hunters said.

BIRNA
It'll be fine. They just weren't as good as I am. How many of them were in this group?

ALDON
Nine.

Birnas enthusiasm vanishes and her expression saddens.

BIRNA
Bad luck. Never know when its gonna hit ya.

ALDON
Tell me about it, my folks were part of the group.

THE END

                                                                           

Offline Coryn

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Re: "Birna and the tower of death"
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2023, 10:44:25 AM »
Argh! Two chapters up already?! Your speed exceeds my free time the last few days, lol. I will get these read soon.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline wrathborne

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Re: "Birna and the tower of death"
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2023, 12:15:34 PM »
Lol, thanks for reading. I'm about the halfway point of the first story arc now. I'm thinking its gonna be at least 12 chapters. Once I finish that off I'll post less and draw more. I'm still sorting out Birnas design a tad as well as drawing some of the landscapes and establishing an interesting look to the world.