Need help w/ manga oneshot

[Tenori Tejima]

Hello. I have a concept for a manga oneshot, but I haven't fully worked out the details yet... I was deciding what I want to draw and, other than cute anime waifus, the only other thing that comes to mind really is weirdass ways to use man-made objects... I have this thing where I really like the idea of "ability to make (non-weapon) man-made stuff" as a superpower. Obviously, you'd just make swords and knives if you could----in fact, sword-making power is already a trope----but how about using tissue rolls and basketballs and gyroscopes as weapons? That's definitely more interesting than spamming { insert sharp/blunt/shooting weapon } here. I've even used this concept on a webnovel I wrote, about chess, (that had nothing to do with chess and I just used superpowers as visual metaphors). I just have a soft-spot for it...


So I've decided on sort of a post-apocalyptic setting. Either mankind fvcked up, or God has spoken, or some other { insert generic cataclysmic event } happened and changed the world forever. Humans have developed the ability/power to create whatever objects they like. In exchange, there can no longer be anything "fixed
 in the world. There is now an "Entropic Sun" that whittles the durability of every object at every point in time in the world. That's the trade-off... You can make every object you want, but it's gonna be half-broken/corroded. Or at the very least, not in good condition.

Now, despite being not that good of a superpower, it's still a superpower nonetheless, and humans have evolved from social creatures, to be self-sufficient. "No man is an island" no longer holds in this new, post-apocalyptic world, a man can survive on his own without the need for others. All he needs is himself. Money, no longer exists... (That's probably a good contender for the manga's theme, we'll see if something better pops up)


As for the conflict... I'm not quite sure yet. I do want a fight scene, but as far as stakes are concerned, nothing really concrete... There are two characters so far. Our main character, who's (probably) a scientist before the world collapsed:



Living on her own. Playful, genki girl... Kinda enjoying the apocalypse to be honest (may or may not be weird, depending on how other characters view the apocalypse)... (May also be the one responsible for the apocalypse, that's a possible story direction, atleast).

The other one is a homeless loli who comes to the main character.






Other than that, I don't really know what the conflict would be... I'm hoping to end this on some sort of commentary on society... Not sure what, but MC should atleast think society lost something it needed to lose, as bad as how the apocalypse was... Some "profound" iam14thisisdeep bs like that. You know. How as long as you put any word bubble in white space and sprinkle in some screentones here and there, and have someone say it with a "half-closed eyes" face, it's gonna sound deep... Kinda reminds me of Good-Bye Dystopia actually.









So far, I'm just kinda playing around with the first few pages. I imagine the flow as something like Scientist daily routine---->loli ambush & fight---->Scientists take homeless loli home---->philosophical conversations about useless *censored*---->???---->???---->???---->ending.


(pg. 1)

[Suuper-san]

I personally think that the more limits powers have, the more interesting it makes them. There's always a "will they wont they" that the readers worry about the powers not working properly etc, keeps the story tense.

I think the story genre and power system you've chosen sounds fine. A little generic, perhaps, but people like stories they are familiar with so no point creating something 100% crazy unique.

I imagine the flow as something like Scientist daily routine---->loli ambush & fight---->Scientists take homeless loli home---->philosophical conversations about useless *censored*---->???---->???---->???---->ending.

I get you on the ????? bits lol quite a few of my stories have gaps that I've been unable to fill as of yet.
I find the stories I like the most always keep me on my toes, there's always something around the next corner to throw the protagonists off their feet.
We've stolen the bomb from the bad guys! But it's still ticking! we've diffused it! but there's another one hidden in the city! we have to find it!
i.e. just when you think things can settle down there's always another plot point to drive the tension and story to the next stage.

And I think this is the first I've seen your art? It's really good! The panel layouts are nice and freely balanced, and epicly cute loli sketches, making even me jealous lol.

With a once-shot, the stakes are typically lower, as you have less time (pages) to build up the tension and to resolve it, especially if you want to throw in character interactions,friendships etc into the mix as well.

Here's just a random thought if you're stuck for a story, use it or don't none of my business

The loli is parched and tired, having no food, but stumbles on the settlement of the scientist. She breaks in and tries to threaten the scientist for food and water, but passes out. Wakes up in a bad, being cared for for the scientist. Loli has never been shown any kind of kindness before so she's incredibly grateful. and then there's an attack on the facility for real. A man is attacking to steal some power generator thing for something idk. Turns out he's got a problem with his cybernetic parts, that need specialist repair. Just when you think he's going to kill the scientist and loli, the scientist is able to bargain that she can help him without him having to kill (he doesn't really want to kill them but he's desperate - maybe he has his own family back home to feed). So in talking they find out that the man has lost his daughter a long time ago in a sandstorm (plot twist - it's the loli from the beginning!!!) they eventually realize and reunite. The man having his body fixed by the scientist, leaves with his loli daughter, and the scientist goes back to whatever she was doing, "just another day in the apocalypse".

maybe that will give you some sort of idea, or not, who knows.

but otherwise, great work so far, keep it up!
most people don't even make it as far as writing down their plot, let alone sketching some of the pages, so you've got a lot going for you.

[NO1SY]

I kinda think you have some good bones here to work with.

An "entropic sun" that degrades the things it's light touches (or just degrades everything within it's aura) is a cool concept, and provides a foundation for the setting and why it would be a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Some ideas for how this could come about are: 1. The arrival of an alien artifact/being like The Traveller in Destiny; 2. Some sort of particle collider experiment altering the radiation of the sun; 3. A random inversion in the universe (maybe caused by some absurdist god flipping some Discworld-esque switch); 4. A second Sun appears and just has this weird effect; 5. it is just the way things are.

Then you have the "super-power" to create objects. It pairs nicely with the setting because anything created willl necessarily temporary. But I think you really need to nail down what it is you want this magic system to be and what you want characters to be able to achieve with it, because at the moment it sounds very wishy-washy. For instance, if someone could materialize any item they want then why would they arbitrarily not be able to create weapons? If it is some intelligent god or alien thing that is causing the entropy then perhaps this is a rule that it can just enforce, but otherwise it seems a little silly. A justification I can think of is that highly ordered materials break down quicker than less ordered ones. Therefore things made of metals, crystals, maybe hard plastics and hard wood degrade to dust within moments; whereas less ordered things such as rubber, soft plastics, gels, and foams take longer to break down. In a way this adds a skill floor and ceiling to using the magic system: someone very proficient and quick could perhaps make and use a weapon within the minute amount of time it has form, whereas other, less skilled people would only be able to manifest and/or use rubber objects.

Another small issue perhaps is why humans, animals, plants or microbial life wouldn't degrade also? A part of me thinks that seeing some devolution into more entropic beings would create an interestingly unique flora and fauna for your setting, like floppy trees and crabs that are more like slimes.

A different way you could take things perhapse is to tweak the magic, so that instead of creating things from nothing, people are instead able to turn one object into another object, like a basketball into a sunhat, or a table into a boat, but then they disintegrate to nothing afterwards. This could play into the angle of human self-destruction and overconsumption, with people using stupid things like whole buildings to create rockets in the past until there was basically nothing left but random tat to use, and overdrawing from the world's natural resources to replenish things until they too ran dry. Something you can do with this form of the magic system is have it so that individual characters can turn stuff into only one thing. Like one person can turn everything they touch into frizbees, whereas someone else turns everything they touch into grenades, and someone else turns everything they touch into teddybears. Allows you to give individual identity to characters through their powers, and focuses the power system down a bit.

I'm not sure I get why humans would necessarily become less social however. As far as I can tell people would still need to eat, and to produce food at scale for a population generally requires farming. Although a thematically you could contrast a character who lives a solitary, materialistic life against a group of people that choose not to mess with the magic and live together.

In terms of plot ideas, the most obvious direction is a character with a mission to revert things back to the way they were, to restore order and permanence to the world (another theme that can be used is what happens psychologically when people lose a sense of permanence in the material world - when you can build anything, or sculpt or paint anything etc.). Another thing I can think of is just the scientist documenting the entropic apocalypse, treating it as an inevitability and making oservations about the world as it breaks down.

Last thing I have to comment on is the Lolicon thing. Personally, not my flavour... but if its what you like to draw then knock yourself out I guess. If you wanted to tie them to your setting then I may suggest some more absurdist logic; something like people turning into lolicons as a result of the entropy because they represent the most chaotic form of humanity.

Hope there is something useful to you in all of that. Best of luck!

[Suuper-san]

I think loli in this context is just a small cute girl? unless I'm massively wrong that's how I've always interpreted it. Helps to round out dark genres by putting cute stuff in them
and making them helpless sort of automatically activates the readers' "must defend helpless being" sympathy engagement.