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Author Topic: Et Cetera [Prototype]  (Read 260 times)

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Offline Suuper-san

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Et Cetera [Prototype]
« on: April 11, 2021, 10:39:42 AM »
Please read my disclaimer if you would like to critique (basically don't critique minor details since I'm only focusing on expressing the core of the idea)
But if you seriously want to mention more fine details then go ahead, it may still be useful to me but I dont want to waste your time.

This is a prototype manga as it is basically in draft format, both script and art. I intend at some point to completely rewrite it and produce it at a proper quality level, although there will always be the allure of the next shiny story.

Et Cetera

Blurb

A robot lands on Earth on a mission to learn about Humans and their culture. He follows around a group of children in an "adventure club", helping them when they get into trouble, and causing just as much trouble on the way.

Chapters

Chapter 1: The Hero Makes a Friend






























Chapter 2: A Guild






























Chapter 3: Going Nowhere































Chapter 4: Distractions

































« Last Edit: May 02, 2021, 04:33:46 PM by Suuper-san »
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Offline Suuper-san

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Re: Et Cetera [Prototype]
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2021, 10:51:38 AM »
Chapter 1: The Hero Makes a Friend

Chapter 1: The Hero Makes a Friend































Thoughts:
Like the other 3 manga, the chapter 1 script was too large and had to be cut in half. So the story ends at a funny place. I've definitely got to learn how much plot can fit in a single chapter of manga.

It took a massive while ,talking to myself and changing the target direction, but eventually I settled on going for a sort of Nichijou style manga. The first few chapters are more setting up the story but I hope to have more quick fire jokes and gags once it gets rolling.

Overall I cannot write jokes at all, is what I've been discovering. I'm writing what I think are jokes but really at this point after reading them so many times I have no idea what's funny and what isnt, so I'm just going to throw everything I can down on the page and see what sticks. It's all work in progress.

I really like how the robot's expressions show on his face, for some reason I just find it super cute.

anyways, enjoy.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2021, 08:23:38 AM by Suuper-san »
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Offline Suuper-san

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Re: Et Cetera [Prototype]
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2021, 12:03:30 PM »
Chapter 2: A Guild

Chapter 2: A Guild































Thoughts:
This was the second half of the first chapter, so it was meant to end on getting a clubroom in the first chapter, and then the episodic story commences. I'm hoping I can make more interesting stories from now.

I literally have no idea what direction this story is going, which probably contributed to the poorer quality art style. I dunno, it's not really gelling too well, and I don't think it's funny either. I'm not going to drop it but it's harder going when I'm lost almost all of the time. But it's good practice all the same.

I think proportions took a hit as well in this chapter, I just wasn't too sure of anything. But the priority is producing a chapter regardless of how I feel or if the plot isn't up to scratch, I could polish the script for days and it would still be rubbish lol

anyways, enjoy.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2021, 08:23:42 AM by Suuper-san »
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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Et Cetera [Prototype]
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2021, 10:25:03 AM »
Lance, CO02043F74B, Krystal and the supervisor are my favourite characters hahahaha. Gag after gag with this one suuper. You totally nailed it hahahaha comedy gold. This really feels like exactly the light hearted slice-of-life that I've been reading and watching all the time as I grew up. Do you know Dennou Coil by any chance?

Yeaup, yet another manga I'm invested in. And hot damn man, you're juggling 4 mangas at the same time and really making the chapters. This gives me so much hope for all of my unfinished projects. Totally awed and inspired here man, keep at it!

Offline Manimal

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Re: Et Cetera [Prototype]
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2021, 11:14:20 AM »
Chapter 1, this was a very solid introduction. You establish the characters well and the robot is instantly likable. It's expressions in the classrooms were hilarious. The composition is well done here also and it had a natural and easy to follow layout. You got the flow of a comedic manga down with the set-up and come downs. An example being "oh what that kid has a gun? Oh it's a water gun". Also the shots that give the robot a sense of scale when it comes down stood out.

Chapter 2 is good also, Krystal adds a fun dynamic to the group and gets them going. To make a small critique I had the feeling you didn't really know what to do with the robot here since it's only in the beginning. I think it would be fun to see it interact with all the characters like the craft club girl and classic sleepy club supervisor. Since they are an adventure club and the robot is looking to collect data I think they can take it to various places a kid would go and have it interact with the people and things they come across. Like an arcade or candy shop etc. I think the best part of this was the interactions with the robot. The club characters are fun as well, and you set-up an easy to follow and enjoyable dynamic. 

I think you show a very good understanding of manga structure and flow here. I enjoyed reading this!

Offline Suuper-san

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Re: Et Cetera [Prototype]
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2021, 08:52:23 AM »
Chapter 3: Going Nowhere

Chapter 3: Going Nowhere
































Thoughts:
This felt a bit more in line with what I wanted to achieve for this story, a bit more slapstick, a bit more chaos, a bit more "what could possibly go wrong next"

Surprisingly the most developed character is my robot Cogno, whose personality is shaping quite a bit of the plot. while his mission is to collect information, he basically forgets this a lot of the time and gets easily distracted. This was basically to allow the plot to be more varied without needing justification, hopefully this chapter conveys his personality well. Also is he a "he"? He's an "it" but I feel strange calling him an "it".

This chapter was pretty easy to draw, and I didn't have too many issues, probably because it was mostly only the robot in the shots, which has chaotic random proportions that don't really matter as long as he looks like a robot.

I also figured out how to do panels that stretch into the page edges so I trialled that, and it didn't take much time to achieve compared to normal panels. I didn't really know which panels to extend so I basically guessed, with really weak reasons for most of them. I'll get the hang of that at some point.

I also in a few panels (such as the last panel) did a more complex speed lines/emphasis lines rather than "hand drawn" lines, which came out straight and much more emphatic. This also takes minimal time so I'll try and keep this up for practice for when I do high quality manga.

Anyways, enjoy.


Feedback

@Lego

Quote
Gag after gag with this one suuper. You totally nailed it hahahaha comedy gold.
Glad to hear it. I'm hoping to lay down the comedy thick and fast but I'm utterly under experienced to even know how to do it. Hopefully with this story I'll get some core skill in comedy do's and don'ts.

Quote
Do you know Dennou Coil by any chance?
One of my favourite animes and a solid sci-fi story. I loved the fact that the chalk lines were like magic circles but in a technology way, it was very inspiring to my sense of magic systems even now. Also a solid very realistic way that VR technology could go.

Quote
And hot damn man, you're juggling 4 mangas at the same time and really making the chapters.
....so far :P
I expect some sort of failure because I'm really taking on far more than I'm used to and I don't have the experience to carry me over smaller upsets. But there is hope indeed :)

And go for it with your projects! I would love to see an end to the series you started, If i recall you took about an hour a page, so that's really quick for churning out chapters.

@Maninal

Quote
the robot is instantly likable. It's expressions in the classrooms were hilarious.
Glad to hear it. I like it too quite a bit, I suppose cute robots weren't something that I had in mind when I started this project ehehehe

Quote
You got the flow of a comedic manga down with the set-up and come downs. An example being "oh what that kid has a gun? Oh it's a water gun". Also the shots that give the robot a sense of scale when it comes down stood out.
Thanks, I can't guarantee that there'll always be that level of jokes or that they'll even be easy to understand but I'm trying :P

Quote
To make a small critique I had the feeling you didn't really know what to do with the robot here since it's only in the beginning.
I also noticed that the robot disappeared during this chapter but it was too late to fix it. I think because the long chapter was broken into segments it makes it more noticeable but really this is the quick fire experience that I'm hoping to gain by failures in these 4 stories.

It will definitely make more appearances in the future as it's basically the driving force of the early plot and a cause of a lot of the humor.

Quote
Like an arcade or candy shop etc.
What lol you read my mind they were on my to do list for chapters. That's just strange lol

Thanks and I hope to keep up the comedy and get even better.
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Offline Suuper-san

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Re: Et Cetera [Prototype]
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2021, 04:33:36 PM »
Chapter 4: Distractions

Chapter 4: Distractions


































Thoughts:

Not sure how I managed to make a Jenga game last the entire chapter but there you go. Not sure if this is the direction I want to take it. Also not really sure what to do with the robot. I do have lots of ideas but they go in all sorts of directions so it’s a pain knowing which way to go, and also making sure that I don’t try something that’s way too hard for me at the moment.

I had to really dish these pages out to finish them on time today, as I was extra behind from other life commitments, so they look a tad extra sketchy than normal. But to be honest I'm not entirely displeased all things considered. I really wanted to not fail in my weekly posting within the first 4 weeks, so I'm my first checkpoint clear now.

anyways, enjoy.
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