@Lego many thanks for reading and giving a review! it means a lot!!
Since I don't plan on writing any further in the story I'll reveal a few spoilers in response to your comments.
Several of your critiques align with my own observations that I have written for each chapter as I posted.
Chapter 3:
I think Sam didn't hear the bottle falling but rather heard the door click, so Emily was just worrying that Sam might have woken up at that point.
Yup training room is a must-have in any story. Makes sense for the most part :)
Chapter 4:
Sam can't repair organic material or damage it, so he's not useful as a healer.
Chapter 5:
Most of the other characters such as Reese are quite shallow, so I hadn't given them much thought. Giving him good hand combat skills makes sense.
I specifically mentioned his other power here so it didn't feel like I pulled it out of the air the next chapter lol
Chapter 6:
You are correct with your parent-related deductions. They did indeed try and protect them, and are still alive, but kept prisoner by some other unwritten evil organisation. Sam can't remember clearly from the trauma related to this event and he never saw them afterwards so he drew the wrong conclusions as well.
Sam indeed incredibly powerful in his final form. Partly why his ability is so nerfed is that his own hatred towards his ability sealed it away. i.e. "I wish I never had this ability!">the ability attempted to comply. When his ability is unlocked by Jake later, Sam also remembers the true reason why his parents left to protect them (although I haven't really thought it out)
Chapter 7:
I hadn't intended on any of her school friends having abilities, the chances are that she would know already, as only Emily keeps it such a strong secret whereas others are more open.
Chapter 8:
Yes in reality this should have gone a lot worse. It basically didn't because I didn't want a super depresing story with death, but I also didn't know how to scale the explosion back to make it "safer".
Chapter 9:
I hadn't intended on Emily only having one glowing eye (did she have the other one closed perhaps?), although the connection you draw is pretty cool.
And yes they probably should have left and never looked back ahahaha
Chapter 10:
I did try and add a little humour, although there weren't too many places for it in this story.
Jake is pretty OP, even within the organisation he's one of the top. His personality though makes it hard for him to work with others and so he was assigned this branch because it was out of the way and kept him from making trouble just by being himself. I sort of wanted a Fairy Tail Makarov feel to him, that he's powerful but wants the young ones to learn things for themselves and only helps when they are in mortal danger.
Chapter 11:
I tried to add some nice explanations to the abilities but it was all just random tbh. I didn't give it much thought and just said what came into my head first.
I didn't intend the boss to be nervous, the sweat drop was probably me just drawing one on reflex late at night trying to get the pages finished ahahaha
The overall gang structure is unknown and I didn't really think much about it to be honest :P
Chapter 12:
The entire structure of Eclipse is an utter mess, both in canon and also in my head. Far too little planning went into this and the project has really taught me a thing or two about what needs planning, and how much is important.
Yup gotta have bonus 4komas right :P
And...enough for a volume you think? say no more, it is done!
Volume 1 Cover
Bonus: Printed CopyMajor statistics dump and rambling to follow, but otherwise this project is now complete!
Topic: Eclipse [Prototype] (Read 4430 times)
