Manga Idea. Introduction ONLY.

[Deru]

This is the introduction only to tell the place, time, and the events before the beginning of the story. I have come up with some chapters but im not ready to release them. I am open to suggestions and criticism and help. Like I said in one my previous thread, i am only a half writer. I have the general idea but not the specific details so i haven't come up with all the names or dialogue. I'll reveal some of the characters. Here it is:

Introduction:

In the year 2026, a new country is made on a new land mass created from a volcano eruption in the Atlantic Ocean between the U.S.A. and Europe . This new country developed fast and has established cities as well as new technology that was ahead of its time. One day in 2028, this new country committed some acts of war against multiple other countries creating tension and eventually causing those countries as well as their allies under their Mutual Defensive Pacts to declare war on the new country starting World War 3. Other smaller countries joined the fight against the new country simply to invigorate their economy since war helps with the economy. Although greatly outnumbered, the other countries underestimated the extent of the new country’s technology and were easily defeated with no casualties of the new country. Not only was the new country able to defend itself, it pushed further past enemy front lines and easily took their Capitals starting a new empire that consisted of the whole world. The boarders may have been united, but the hearts of the new citizens are not.

Factions:

The Empire:
The new country became an empire after winning World War 3 and occupies the whole world. Led by their founder turned Emperor, they continue to try and unite the hearts of their new citizens and continue to make new technological advances. The empire has a small but powerful army and strong centralized government. The mainland of the empire is more advanced than the new colonies despite developing for only 2 years.

The Resistance:
Mankind typically takes a while, if not ever, to adapt to change. Groups of resistance developed around the world around the former countries that could afford the expenses. This faction coordinates attacks on the new empire in an attempt to make things go back to the way they were before WW3. The resistance consists of volunteering citizens and surviving soldiers of WW3 of their respective countries. There are multiple resistance groups that range from militant forces to non violence activists.

The Rebels:
Some people within the empire have other plans for the future of the world. These rebels want to take control of the empire and use its vast resources and influence to point the world in their direction.

Character so far: (I haven't thought of any names yet)

#1. He is a young man who joined the U.S. army. Since he was new, he fought to defend the U.S capital and survived. Now, he is part of the U.S resistance base somewhere far west (far away from the former capital.) He gets into brawls with high ranking empire officers and ends up infiltrating the empire’s mainland, sort of. (Big plot twist for this character.)

 #2-9. The Cabinet: Consists of 8 high ranking and powerful officers of the empire. They are experts in diverse fields and help to advise the emperor. Because of some scientific experiments that had unexpected results, they acquired new powers based on their attempted innovation.
 
#9. The emperor: The ruler of the empire and also a member of the cabinet. He was once American but left his country to found a new one.

#10. Leaders of various resistance groups: They were very patriotic people who have had high influence or power in their respective countries before WW3. They control the actions of their resistance groups.
 
#11: A member of the French resistance. She is one of the first 2 super human test subjects to give them a better chance of fighting the empire.

#12: Another member of the French resistance. He is one of the 2 super human test subjects. Later after some events, he is made into a cyborg giving him even more power but is under the control of the rebels that made him into a cyborg.

[Forlorn Serpent]

I just got to say one thing. 2 years?  Does the explaination spoil the plot? I think you should add an explanation since this is for writers to look through the plot. We aren't fans yet 

You got the conflict ready. Well, at least the external conflict for your characters.

i don't see anything to critique since it's still generalized.

Is this a story about humanity not accepting change or are they going to be proven right at the end to not trust the new empire. Is this imperialism at its worst?

[Deru]

I just got to say one thing. 2 years?  Does the explaination spoil the plot? I think you should add an explanation since this is for writers to look through the plot. We aren't fans yet 

You got the conflict ready. Well, at least the external conflict for your characters.

i don't see anything to critique since it's still generalized.

Is this a story about humanity not accepting change or are they going to be proven right at the end to not trust the new empire. Is this imperialism at its worst?

You're right. It is too general. And what would you like an explaination to? You didn't specify. About the conflict, it's a bit complicated. I want to make the empire seem like the bad guys at first but then reveal that they're good guys later. Kind of like the beginning to bleach.

[Forlorn Serpent]

The infrastructure of the new country is what I'm referring to. From what I read, in 2026, a volcano erupted in the Atlantic and a new island was formed large enough for a new country to form in two years.

Reveal the plot twist for character #1. I'm assuming he will be the main character.

This is probably thinking ahead since you originally put this up for an introduction only. But you should think about it for your next steps in creating your story.

Like I said, you have the external conflict done, the empire, the rebels. But what do you have as the internal conflict. I'll use bleach as an example. Remember when Ichigo was fighting Aizen before all the captains got taken down. Aizen asked him why is he fighting him if everything is okay for Ichigo (all his friends were alive and safe). He had no reason to fight him. Obviously Aizen was the bad guy in that arc but Ichigo only reason to fight was to protect his friends. That was his internal conflict, to protect others. But for some, that was a pretty lame reason.

Attack on Titan, the Titans and the titan shifters are the external conflict. For Eren, the internal conflict is getting revenge and keeping the promise to go to outside the walls.

Does this story relate to your previous question about real world setting? Or does it just use real world names?

[Deru]

The infrastructure of the new country is what I'm referring to. From what I read, in 2026, a volcano erupted in the Atlantic and a new island was formed large enough for a new country to form in two years.

Reveal the plot twist for character #1. I'm assuming he will be the main character.

This is probably thinking ahead since you originally put this up for an introduction only. But you should think about it for your next steps in creating your story.

Like I said, you have the external conflict done, the empire, the rebels. But what do you have as the internal conflict. I'll use bleach as an example. Remember when Ichigo was fighting Aizen before all the captains got taken down. Aizen asked him why is he fighting him if everything is okay for Ichigo (all his friends were alive and safe). He had no reason to fight him. Obviously Aizen was the bad guy in that arc but Ichigo only reason to fight was to protect his friends. That was his internal conflict, to protect others. But for some, that was a pretty lame reason.

Attack on Titan, the Titans and the titan shifters are the external conflict. For Eren, the internal conflict is getting revenge and keeping the promise to go to outside the walls.

Does this story relate to your previous question about real world setting? Or does it just use real world names?

You mean the reason why the main character would do what he does? I can answer that. But it might be lame. He failed to defend the president as a soldier so he wants to make up for it. I will reveal the plot twist when I feel like the chapter is ready.
 I revealed only the introduction because I was hoping that It might be a good enough sample to get someone to help me write. I said I was only a half writer because in my chapters, they're more like summaries rather than actual chapters. I'm a bit stuck when it comes to specific details. I haven't come up with the dialogue or the specific moves for the fight scenes. It basically tells what happens. I haven't even come up with the name of the manga or the empire.
And yes my previous question about having a manga about the real world was about this one.

[Forlorn Serpent]

What kind of writer are you? Do you write  as if it was a novel or do you write like a screenwriter? I know you said you are a half writer but if you transition into a screenwriter, I think the story plot will become easier to write because you are only showing the skeleton of the scenes.

You might get an offer for a co writer but I think it might be a better idea for you to come up with first chapter yourself so you can establish the tone and theme that you want. Plus, you can name your characters and stuff later after you finish the script.