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Author Topic: Death By Ex-Girlfriend (Book of Revenge soon, comrades!)  (Read 163508 times)

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Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2016, 05:46:54 AM »
I myself am discovering what exactly this story is about as I write it  :hmm: I'm starting to see a theme pick up here (I'm gonna start throwing in sassy lines with the chapter names, like the ones you read in these kinds of stories on the cover page)

Day 3: I Visited My Ex-Girlfriend's Mother
Deadly? Sexy? I want you to love me to both ways!

Yoko arrived at the bridge with fury in her heart and a katana in her hands. She was still dressed in her nightgown and didn't even bother wasting time to look decent enough to go out. Truly, she was raw hatred personified. With vengeance in her eyes and cold, hardened nipples beneath her gown, Yoko pointed her blade at the two.

Yoko: Osamu!

(Oh no, it's Yoko! She's going to have the wrong idea! I can't believe I'm even talking as if we're dating again!)

Aika and Osamu jumped up, with Aika remaining behind him.

Yoko: Explain yourself! Maybe you'll stop me from skinning you alive!

Osamu: Well, uhh, you see, I walked out to grab some snacks, but then I heard Aika playing guitar under the bridge!

Yoko: I see...prepare to die then.

Yoko pointed her sword in their direction.

Osamu: Wait a minute, we didn't do anything, I swear!

Yoko: It's not a matter of you having done anything. It's a matter of you possibly doing something. That is something I cannot allow. Now then, Aika, are you ready to be punished for daring to lure my husband out here when he should be laying in bed with me?


Aika: Osamu...move aside.

Aika had her electric guitar in her hands as she stepped in front of Osamu. She wielded her Gibson Black Beauty as if it were an axe, and she was a viking ready to destroy her opponent.

(Why are you encouraging her!?)

Yoko: Oh? So you've chosen to fight?

Aika: I don't want to, but you're really pissing me off. Osamu is not your husband, yet you insist he is and you think you can dictate where he should be at all times. Do you know what that makes you?

(Oh no, she's going to say it!)

Aika: Clingy.



Yoko's eye twitched as that word rung out into the air, echoing infinitely within Yoko's soul.

Yoko: Osamu...

Osamu: Y-yeah?

Yoko: Forgive me. I'll be sure to wash Aika's blood off of your clothes after this.

(You what?!)

Aika and Yoko charged at each other like two overpowered characters from a shounen manga. For Osamu, this moment moved in slow motion. He wanted to stop them before they could kill each other and ruin a perfectly good guitar in the process. Thankfully, a familiar vortex appeared between them, and Izanami restrained the both of them. The guitar and the sword, along with their owners, were pinned to the ground.

Osamu: Izanami!

(You always save the day!)

Yoko: Damn you! Why do you always get in my way?! I'm going to rip her open and sew her heart to the back of her head!

Aika: You couldn't kill me if I let you jump first!

Izanami: Enough!

Izanami grabbed both of their heads with her cold, dead hands, and their eyes rolled back into their heads. They fell unconscious under Izanami's power.

Izanami: You okay, Osamu?

Osamu: You saved me, Izanami! Maybe I really should marry you!

Izanami: Oh love, don't tease, don't tease. They're unconscious for now. Do you know where Aika lives?

Osamu: Uhh...crap...no, I actually don't.

Izanami: Well, I hope Yoko won't mind having another guest in her house. I'll carry Yoko.

Osamu: I've got Aika.

The two of them carried the girls back to Yoko's place, the streets empty and peaceful.

(Finally, things calmed down again. I guess it's not surprising that Izanami is so responsible. She is a goddess, after all.)

Izanami: Say, Osamu?

Osamu: Yeah?

Izanami: How did you meet someone like Yoko?

Osamu: What's with the curiosity?

Izanami: It's because Yoko is such a curious person.

(Yeah, you've got a point there.)

Osamu: Well, she was the first girl I dated when I lived here. I believe we first went out 8 years ago.

Izanami: Wow, so she was just 13?

Osamu: Yep. Believe it or not, she was the most gentle girl you could've ever met back then. She was just also incredibly lonely. I still remember how I'd often see her eat lunch by herself. Nobody sat with her. People said she was weird and not to go near her.

Izanami: And so naturally, little Osamu did the opposite thing that everyone told him to do, right?

Osamu: Yeah. Besides, what do a bunch of idiots at school know? That day, we sat down together, and I let her have some of my rice cakes. We hung out and talked every day since then and started dating pretty soon afterwards. I lost all my friends in the process, but I didn't really care since I was with her. I still think she's the one of the coolest girls I've ever met.

Izanami: So, where did it all go wrong?

Osamu: My parents were strict, and when they found out about our relationship, they didn't approve of her. They didn't like anything about her.

Izanami: Poor girl...

Osamu: I had to break up with her. It wasn't something I wanted. Despite that, I still wanted to be friends with her, but we didn't talk as often as we did back then. I'd see her every once in a while, but she'd always run off and say she had something else to do. I think she became the way she is now when I left and she lost her father. Maybe it's how she copes. She appears to guard her heart with every step she takes, but she's still the little love bird I met years ago.

Izanami: You're such a sweet guy, Osamu.

Osamu: Speaking of which, how did you two end up meeting? You seemed to already know each other when I came back.

Izanami averted her eyes from Osamu and delayed her answer.

Izanami: Sorry, Osa, but...Yoko asked me not to tell you that. Rest assured though, Yoko and I more or less get along with each other! At least she doesn't flat out hate me.

(Well, it helps hearing Izanami say that to me.)

They were finally back home. Aika was laid next to Isabella, and Yoko was returned to her room. Izanami left the rest to Osamu, who, after tonight, still decided he wanted to sleep next to Yoko. The next morning, however...

(Ah, I can hear birds chirping. Looks like it's morning already. Why does my stomach feel so heavy, though? Is there something dripping on me?!)

Osamu opened his eyes and found Isabella sitting on his stomach and pointing her desert eagle right at his face. She only wore a white tank top and her American Flag underwear.


Osamu: Isabella, what are you doing?!

Isabella: Yoko left for work and Aika is still sleeping. You know what that means.

(Oh no, I'm not ready to be molested again! Anything but that!)

Isabella began crying like a child, which only made Osamu fear her more.

(There's nothing worse than an emotionally unstable person with a gun!)

Isabella: C-c-can you please make me breakfast? I don't know how to cook!


Osamu: Come on Izzy, still? How old are you?

Isabella pushed her gun against Osamu's cheek and screamed like a harpy.

Isabella: Don't judge me!

Osamu: Okay, okay! Let me up and I'll make you breakfast!

Isabella: You promise?

Osamu: Of course I do!

Isabella: I don't believe you!

(What is with you?! That's your own fault!)

Isabella: If you're serious, touch my boobs!

Osamu: What?! This old thing again?! Why?!

Isabella: Touching a girl's boobs is a symbolic pact of friendship and promises!

Osamu: There's no way I'm doing that!

Isabella: Then I'll just kill you! I know exactly how to get rid of a dead body! I learned it in my Black Operations manual!

(You have one of those?!?)


Osamu: But then nobody will be able to cook you breakfast and Aika would just be mad that you woke her!

Isabella: Then touch my boobs! Squeeze them as hard as you can and show me you're serious!

(Damn it...)

Osamu gave up the fight and grabbed both of Isabella's boobs.

(S-she's not wearing a bra?! I'm even stuttering in my own head!)

Isabella moaned and blushed as her soft, sizeable breasts were groped exactly to her liking. For her, and perhaps any girl with such fruitful breasts, feeling the strength and grip of a man's hands on her chest was a ticket to heaven.

(This is so inappropriate! She could at least keep the moaning to a minimum)

Isabella: Osamu, both hands? You beast!

Isabella accidentally shot off a round from her gun in her excitement, putting a hole in the ceiling and scaring herself and Osamu.

(I don't want to think that was symbolic of something...)

Isabella: Holy cow, that was amazing!

Osamu: The gunshot or the groping?!

Isabella: Whichever you want it to be.

(Still a tease, I see)

Osamu: A-anyway. I touched your boobs, so can we please get on with it?

Isabella: Yes please, I'm starving!

(God bless America...I wonder what she wants to eat.)

The two walked downstairs and into Yoko's beautiful kitchen. The window Isabella shot through was still broken. She sat down at the counter like a little princess awaiting a meal from her servant.

Osamu: Uhh, Izzy, do you want to...you know...help out?

Isabella: What do you mean? Help you with what?

(Was she always this stupid, or is she just pretending to be an idiot?)

Osamu: Never mind. How about some cold somen?

Isabella: I want pancakes!

Osamu: Well, we do have the ingredients to make pancake mix, but I'd rather not use the last of the sugar. It's rude to do so without asking or being able to replace it.

Isabella pouted like a sad dog.

Isabella: Somen is fine. Hold the green onions.

Osamu: Got it.

(Hey, I just remembered, I have to go with Izanami to visit the grave of Aika's mom. It would be pandemonium if Izzy was still here when Yoko got home. Maybe I should take her with me.)

Osamu: Hey, Izzy. I'm going to visit a grave today. Wanna come along?

Isabella: A grave? Whose?

Osamu: Aika's mom.

Isabella: Oh...

Osamu: What's the matter?

Isabella: N-nothing! I was just surprised! You know, you never make such mature decisions. I mean, if you were capable of that...you wouldn't have left the way you did...

(Unfortunately, Izzy has a solid point...)

The meal preparation was finished and they both sat down to eat. Since Isabella thought it was okay to eat without saying proper thanks, Osamu slapped her hands away from her bowl.

Osamu: Not only are you a guest in someone's home, but you didn't help the person who cooked the meal despite you being the one who pressured me to do it. Let's not forget that this is food that Yoko works to pay for. Don't just dig in without saying proper thanks.

Isabella: I'm sorry! Thank you for this meal, from the animals that died, to the farmers who produce the vegetables, and the psycho who pays for it all.

(Close enough, I guess...)

Isabella: Hey, Osamu? What kanji do you use to write your name?

Osamu: That's a random question. Where did that come from?

Isabella: I just think it's weird that I've known you for so long but I still can't write your name. Forgive me, I'm kind of slow when it comes to kanji memorization. It wasn't written like Osamu Dazai, was it?

Osamu reached for a napkin and pen, stopping to write out his name. He slid the napkin over to Isabella, who held up closely.

Osamu: There you go. It's written as "discipline", like the "shu" in Shugendo, but read as Osamu. You really should just ask people how to write their names if you aren't sure.

Isabella kissed the napkin and kept it in her pocket. Her face was pink and radiated with joy.

Isabella: Thanks, love.

(It meant that much to her? Guess I can understand since she wasn't raised here.)

By the time the meal was finished, Izanami appeared in the kitchen out of her usual vortex of darkness, and was ready to take Osamu to the grave site. For this trip, she dressed in her traditional clothes. Isabella panicked and grabbed her gun, pointing it at Izanami. She was so scared she couldn't even look down the sights as she yelled out and fired at her. Four shots rang out, leaving the barrel of the desert eagle smoking hot.

Isabella: D-did I kill her?!

Osamu: Don't you know better than to fire at a deity?!

Izanami simply brushed the bullets off her pale skin and onto the floor as Osamu bowed to her in complete, total, humiliating remorse.

Osamu: Please forgive my idiot ex-girlfriend, Izanami-no-Mikoto! Please don't take our souls!

Izanami: Oh no, please! It's okay! I understand I'm kind of scary. I'm sorry, Isabella.

(The fact that she's so remorseful over something she can't help is really painful.)

Isabella: I-it's okay! Just...maybe next time, you should try opening a door instead opening a vortex of darkness and ominous screaming, you know?

Izanami: Oh! Okay! Well, shall we go?

Osamu: Will you be joining us, Izzy?

Isabella: S-sure...

The three left the house together and walked, like normal people, to the cemetery. They took the back road behind the house instead of the main streets, since walking around with a very clearly dead Shinto deity wasn't a very wise decision. Along the way, Isabella had trouble keeping up with the pace, as she got too distracted by the wisterias overhead.

(That's Isabella for you. Attention span as deep as a puddle after the rain...)

Osamu: Izzy.

Isabella: What's up?

Osamu extended his hand towards her. Isabella blushed and covered her mouth, completely misinterpreting the gesture.

Isabella: Oh gosh! Yes! Yes! I do!

Osamu: What? What are you talking about? You're having trouble keeping up, so take my hand.



(I can almost see the heartbreak in her face.)

Isabella: F-fine! You jerk...

Osamu led Isabella down the road with Izanami, a walk she enjoyed very much. It reminded her of the times they'd walk the same way during the cold winter, the season they started dating. Osamu would always lead the way when he walked her home, because he knew it got darker sooner in the day.

They finally arrived at the cemetery, with Izanami leading the way the grave they were looking for. When she saw it, she simply stood and pointed at it.

Izanami: Kiyomi Mihara. I took her soul from this world just before you left, Osamu.

(You sound awful when you say it like that, but at the same time, it's the truth. Izanami is the goddess of creation and death. It's her duty to give life and take it. It always has been.)

Izanami: She was a gentle and kind soul who loved her daughter as fiercely as she could. She lived a good life.

Osamu felt a sorrowful burn in his heart as he gazed at the tombstone, and the name engraved on it.

Osamu: How did she die?

Izanami: Complications from Lymphoma. Aika prayed a lot during this time, which struck me as odd. She's not the spiritual kind of person. She gave her all, but it just wasn't meant to be. Kiyomi knew this and made peace with it, but Aika saw it as her giving up and gladly leaving the world of the living.

Isabella: Poor Aika, I didn't know she went through that by herself...

Osammu: I really made a mess, didn't I? I left without considering what any of you were going through. Izanami, you especially must've been lonely.

Izanami: Oh no, please! It's okay, really! I'm used to it.

Osamu: I don't want you to be used to solitude. That's the thing.

Osamu pressed his hands together and prayed. Izanami and Isabella joined him in silence.

(Forgive me, Aika. Next time I see you, feel free to punch me as much as you like. When you fall apart, I'll do my best to pick up the pieces.)

End of Day 3

« Last Edit: September 12, 2017, 07:02:07 PM by OhGodHelpMe »

Offline HydroZephyr

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2016, 04:03:08 AM »
Dude this is awesome! It gets better and better throughout the chapters :)
I especially liked the part where Isabella fired the gun when asking for breakfast, it was so funny :thumbsup:
Keep up the good work and im looking forward to reading more!  ;D
Aim high, otherwise what is the point in trying?

Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2016, 10:45:58 PM »
Thank you thank you! I think I officially know what I'm doing with this story now. Glad I started writing it.  :thumbsup:

Next chapter!  8)

Day 3 and 1/2: Today, I Was Interrogated By My Ex-Girlfriend
Which is sweeter? The apples? Or her lips?

Osamu, Izanami, and Isabella went back to Yoko's house by the time the sun began to set. They all stretched and yawned as the climbed up the steps past the front yard and opened the door. The commotion inside told the story of what was happening in the kitchen.

(Oh no...someone is fighting again! I need to do a roll call! Izanami is right here and she's not quite the fighting type. Isabella is next to me too. Yoko should be home by work now and....crap! I forgot! We left Aika here!)

Izanami: That doesn't sound good!

The three of them ran into the kitchen, and their fears were confirmed. Aika stood atop the kitchen counter with her body and hair wrapped in towels, having just come out of the shower. She wielded her electric guitar as Yoko pointed her katana at her.

(What...the hell?)

Aika: Give it up, Yoko! I was just taking a freakin' shower!

Yoko: You used up all of my shampoo and left the tub full of dirty water!

Aika: I was going to pull the drain plug before you walked in and went ham on me!

Yoko: That's besides the point, you street-wandering bum! What are you even doing in my-

Yoko turned her head and noticed Osamu and the others had come home and were watching the episode with puzzled expressions.

Yoko: Oh hey guys, welcome home! Don't worry about me, I just found a rat in our bath tub. I'll make sure to kill it and throw it a-

Aika picked up a lemon and chucked it at the side of Yoko's head as she spoke, knocking her down on the ground and concomitantly pissing her off.

(Now you've done it, Aika!)

Yoko: You...are so dead!

Yoko swung at Aika's feet with her blade, but missed as Aika jumped to dodge the swing. With her feet still wet from the shower, however, Aika's feet slipped off of the counter when she landed, and she came crashing down on the ground on her back, along with her guitar.

Yoko threw her sword to the side and ran on top of the kitchen counter. She grabbed some apples from the fruit basket and jumped down on top of Aika and she groaned in pain.

Yoko: You want to just waltz in and make yourself at home?! Fine! Eat these!

Yoko began shoving the apples into Aika's mouth, gagging her as she tried to speak.

(This is...kinda hot...no Osamu! Don't think like that!)

Yoko: You like that? Huh? Do you like my apples!?

Aika: Hmmm! Hmmm!

Yoko: Tell me you like these apples! Say it loud and proud!

(Look at that...the perfectly sweet juices from the fresh and succulent apples flowing off the side of Aika's mouth and moistening her soft, perfectly shaped lips...this...this is glory. This is beauty achieved in a form beyond art! This is divinity occurring on our kitchen floor! Thousands of years of human evolution of kinks and fetishes have culminated in this one moment, like the release of infinite magnitudes of energy after the Big Bang! Is this love?!)

Osamu: Stop this right now!

Aika and Yoko immediately ceased their fighting, the latter taking the extra step and properly bowing to Osamu.

Yoko: My love, I'm sorry to be so violent and unladylike in your presence. If you wish, I will gladly perform seppuku to maintain the honor of our household.

Osamu: Don't bow like that in your own house and don't commit seppuku!

Osamu sighed and helped Aika up. Both of them stood before Osamu like children who were caught doing something they knew was wrong.

Isabella: Good grief. I'll clean up the mess.

Osamu: What do you have to say for yourselves? You wasted 6 apples and made a mess in the kitchen when Isabella works hard to keep it nice and tidy!

Both of them also mumbled like children who got caught doing something they knew was wrong.

Aika: Sorry...

Yoko: I didn't do it...

Osamu: I don't believe either of you. As punishment...

Osamu pointed to the remaining apples in the fruit basket.

Osamu: You two are going to finish those apples! Izanami, grab the apples. You two, come upstairs with me.

The next thing they knew, Yoko and Aika were taken up to Yoko's room and sat in chairs with their hands tied behind them. Izanami set the basket of apples down next to Osamu, who stood in front of them with his arms crossed.

Izanami: Here you go. Will that be all?

Osamu: I've got it from here, thanks.

Izanami: Alright. I'll go help Isabella clean up. You two behave yourselves!

Izanami left the room and shut the door.

(All alone. Finally.)

Osamu: Now then, since you two have no appreciation for the food in this house, I'm going to force you to recognize just how much it's worth! Yoko, there's nothing worse than someone who can provide for themselves and still wastes the things they have to live on! Aika, you should've asked if you could take a shower in someone's home!

Aika: Osa, for god's sake, I'm sorry! Let me go already!

Osamu: Be quiet!

Yoko blushed as Osamu asserted himself.

Yoko: Wow, you're amazing, Osamu! Tell me to be quiet too!

Osamu: Shut up!

Yoko: I'm in love!

Osamu picked up two apples, one green, one red. Yoko and Aika looked very confused.

Osamu: Aika, you'll be eating the green apple. Yoko, you'll eat the red apple. Neither of you can leave until both apples are finished! Don't waste a single drop of the juice either!

Yoko: A-are you going to feed us the apples?!

(Mwahaha! So you've finally found out, haven't you?! That's right! I'm going to indulge in the wonders of girls eating apples!)

Osamu: Yes. I don't trust you to eat them by yourselves.

Aika: F-fine...let's just get it over with.

Yoko: I guess it's okay...

Osamu held the apples to the mouths of each of them, and they both took the first, crunchy, juicy bite of their fruits.

(I see...this is what it feels like when you're holding the apples!)

Osamu: Big bites. Don't be shy.

Yoko and Aika kept taking bites from the apples as Osamu rotated them so they could eat around the core. With every bite, they were learning their lesson.

Osamu: Good job. We've got 2 more for each of you.

Osamu picked up 2 more apples and held them up.

Yoko: Dear, I'm already getting full! I think we've learned our lesson!

Osamu: Be quiet! Eat.

Yoko reluctantly began eating the next apple, as did Aika. On Aika's side, juice from the apple began to run down Osamu's hand.

Aika: Oh no!

(Crap, I knew this would get messy! Wait...is she...)

Aika licked Osamu's hand from the knuckle of his middle finger up to his fingernail, successfully saving the drop of apple juice before it could fall to the ground.

(She's skilled!)

Yoko finished her apple a little sooner than Aika, but now there was only one pair left.

(This...this is glorious! Pristine, high quality apples being eaten by two beautiful women! The human race survived countless wars, climbed the food chain, survived severe winters, and bent nature to our will so that amazing things like this can happen! Yes...I feel it! I feel the light shining on me in all of its eternal glory! Our ancestors would be proud at the evolution of such degeneracy!)

Osamu: Ahem. How are you both feeling?

Yoko: So...full...

Aika: Just one more. We can do it!

Osamu: Alright. Last round.

Osamu held up the last two apples, and they started all over again.

(I feel like my heart is going to burst! This is just too hot!)

Although they ate the last apples slowly, they were able to finish them all. They're lesson was definitely learned by now.

(My god, that felt like a rush of power that no man has ever felt before! Is this what it feels like to climb a mountain, or go skydiving?! This is pure bliss! If only more people knew of the delicate bliss that is making girls eat apples out of your hands!)

As Osamu rocked his head with his eyes close, lost in momentary bliss, Yoko's voice softly rang out to Aika.

Yoko: T-there...there's still apple juice...

Aika: But we just ate all the...

Aika turned to Yoko and saw that she was already looking right at her, her lips in particular.

(I can't take it, this is too much!)

Yoko: W-we have to get all of the apple juice! Osamu said so! It's already dripping to your chin!

Aika: I guess you're right...

(This is so good it's almost diabolical...)

Yoko and Aika leaned in towards each other, seemingly in slow motion to Osamu.

(Should I stop this?! This is too good!)

Both of their faces were as red as the apples as Yoko kissed Aika's chin and traced the stream of apple juice back up to her lips.

(Here it comes!)

Yoko then kissed Aika directly, absorbing the remaining apple juice off of her lips. Osamu fainted with a smile on his face.

Yoko: Osamu? Osamu!

Aika: What happened?!

(This...this s a good way to die. Izanami, take my soul, for I have lived a full and great life! Goodbye...beautiful world...)


(What's that? Isabella? She sounds so angry...can't...move...)

Indeed, everyone was due to learn a hard lesson. Now it was Osamu's turn. The voice of Yoko rang into his right here, as did a very loud sound that overpowered her voice. Whatever he was laying on felt hard and was rocking side to side.

Yoko: Osamu! Wake up!

A splash of cold water immediately woke him up, and Osamu was able to see that he was laying inside of a cargo plane along with Yoko and Aika. Isabella stood with the intent of murder in her eyes, along with a team of 4 paratroopers armed with hand guns.

Isabella: Make him spill it.

Paratropper: Right away, ma'am.

Osamu: Izzy! What the hell is this?!

Isabella: Open the rear loading ramp!

Pilot: Loading ramp opening!

The loading ramp opened and Osamu could see they were flying thousands of feet above the ocean. A drop from this height would kill him instantly.

(You've got to be kidding me!)

Aika: This is all your fault, Osamu! I told you to stop!

Osamu: What the hell even happened?!

Yoko: Isabella caught us when you passed out and thought you were just using us to fulfill some kind of wild fetish involving apples!

(Damn it...)

Aika: Next thing we know, she makes one freakin' phone call and a Special Ops team storms our house and takes us away! Then we were loaded onto the plane! Gosh, you're such an idiot!

Isabella: I had to have Daddy clear my debts and give me more money to afford this. You better give me an honest answers or learn how to swim with your hands tied!

One of the paratroopers knelt down to Osamu and held his gun to his face. Osamu couldn't see inside his oxygen mask, which was tinted to protect his identity.

Paratrooper: Did you or did you not use these girls for your fetish!? Answer the question, maggot!

Osamu: No! I didn't do anything like that!

(Why am I lying?!)

Paratrooper: Don't lie to me, you pathetic sack of crap! Do you want to die?!

Osamu: I don't want to die!

Paratrooper: Did you or did you not use them for a fetish!?

Osamu: I did! I'm sorry! It just looked so hot!

The paratrooper had one of his teammates hold his gun as he slapped Osamu around with one hand while holding his collar with the other.

Osamu: Stop it, please!

Yoko: This is insane, Isabella!

Isabella: It's still not enough! Initiate Protocol 48!

Osamu: Protocol 48?!

Two of the paratroopers each took out one item. A carton of orange juice, and a tube of toothpaste.

(What the hell is that for?)

Isabella: Do it. Show no mercy.

Paratroopers: Roger!

First was Yoko. The paratroopers propped her up and forced her mouth open. They gave her a sip of orange juice and then forced toothpaste into her mouth. The combination was a nightmare on the taste buds.

Yoko: Ah! That's disgusting! Why would you ever do this!? I'd never even do this to Aika!

Paratrooper: That's for messing with Isabella's man!

Yoko: Isabella's man?!?

Then, they did the same thing to Aika, who squirmed and tried to spit out the awful combination.

Aika: Isabella stop!

Isabella: If I ever see you two getting it on with Osamu in any kind of way, believe me, the next time a Spec Ops team barges through your door, it'll be to put bullets in your wombs so you can never bear him children!

Osamu: That's so evil!

Yoko: Okay, okay! Just get us out of here!

Isabella: My my, even the great Yoko Akiyama is scared!

Pilot: Wrap it, Chief! The drop zone is coming up!

Osamu looked back from the ramp and saw they were flying over the neighborhood again.

Paratroopers: Chutes! Get em on!

Everyone had their hands freed as the paratroopers got their chutes on. They attached themselves to Yoko, Aika, Osamu, and Isabella.

Yoko: What the hell is going on?!

Pilot: Approaching drop zone, lowering altitude!

Paratrooper : Check your gear!

The paratroopers all checked each others gear and masks, making sure there was no room for error. They all lined up and readied themselves for the drop.

Paratrooper: Chutes are good, masks are good! No tears, rips or tangles!

Pilot: Copy! We're closing in! Green light in five, four, three, two...

Aika: This can't be happening!

The loading bay lit up with green lights, the signal for the troopers to jump.

Paratroopers: GO GO GO!

While Osamu, Aika, and Yoko screamed on their way out, Isabella was the one who couldn't stop laughing as they descended and made their return back to the ground. The neighborhood appeared tiny but got bigger as they fell closer and closer to it.

Paratrooper: Deploy chute!

The chutes were opened, and everyone made their slow and soft descent into the front yard. Isabella was still laughing, Osamu was able to calm down, Yoko was still screaming, and Aika was practically dead by the time they landed. The backpacks were removed and the four of them were detached from the paratroopers. They took up defensive positions and confirmed that the perimeter was cleared.

(Finally...back on the ground!)

Paratrooper: Perimeter cleared and cargo in one piece! Mission successful!

Isabella took of her oxygen mask and let out a loud, excited yelp.

Isabella: Good work, boys! Pack up and go home!

The paratroopers packed their guns into their bags and took off their uniforms and gear. They were wearing normal clothes beneath all of it, allowing them to pack away their stuff and disperse about the neighborhood without drawing any attention. Yoko and Aika looked like they just got back from a tour in Vietnam.

Isabella: So? What did we learn here today?

Yoko: N-n-never trust Osamu with apples!

Osamu: More like we should never trust Isabella with a phone and loads of money!

Yoko: Wait...what about Aika?

Isabella pointed over to Aika, who fainted in mid air.

Isabella: I think she's gonna need some rest. I'll get her up.

Izanami opened the front door to check on all the racket outside, dressed in casual clothes and a cooking apron. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and bangs parted to the side of her face.

Izanami: It's about time you guys got home! I was worried you'd be late for dinner!

Isabella: We got back in under two hours, so don't nag! We did pretty good!

Osamu: Are you congratulating yourself for kidnapping three people and forcing them on a plane to interrogate them?!

Isabella: Yep! You guys better get inside! Dinner smells good from here!

Isabella and Izanami helped Aika up and walked her inside the house. As Osamu got up, he wobbled a bit, and Yoko grabbed onto his arm.

Osamu: Ah, do you need help too?

Yoko: Osamu...when I kissed her...

Osamu: Hmm? What is it?

Yoko:...I think it would be better if we kept her close. She can stay here.

(What? This is so unlike her...)

Osamu: What caused this change of heart? You were ready to kill her earlier.

Yoko: If she leaves and continues to wander, we may never see her again.

Osamu's eyes lit up in a fearful sense of curiosity. Osamu and Yoko stood up together, the former helping Yoko walk.

Osamu: What do you mean by that? Like, she'd run off from town or something?

Yoko: It doesn't matter why. She's welcome. Just tell her that.

Osamu: Oh...okay...

[Thinking back, I wish I had taken Yoko's words much more seriously. Yoko's kiss allowed her to know nearly everything about someone. It's just a gift she was born with. I should've considered what Yoko might've learned from kissing Aika. But I was too stupid...and eventually...the happy, crazy home we made together...would be filled with sadness.]

Offline han ki-tae

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2016, 11:44:32 PM »
Hi y'all,

OhGodHelpMe and I are collaborating on this story for a one shot. :)

Here are some of the character designs:




and AIKA

I will be posting the other two designs soon. :)

Please give us feedback.


Offline Operative13

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #19 on: February 19, 2016, 12:23:45 AM »
My word, why isn't this an anime already!?  :ohmy: The artwork is outstanding han!  :thumbsup:
“To give of oneself is the noblest of all acts.”

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Ope1ativ3
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/OPHolden

Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2016, 02:11:25 AM »
I'd be vexed if some half-assed idea I came up with while I was sitting at my desk dying of boredom became an anime  :clapping:

Offline Manimal

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #21 on: February 19, 2016, 06:38:17 AM »
Jeez dude, why did I even try. Good stuff.

Offline HydroZephyr

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #22 on: February 19, 2016, 08:19:11 AM »
Oh my god, this is outstanding! Great job on the drawings there really cool!
Honestly though, I think I may be addicted to this...  :thumbsup:
Aim high, otherwise what is the point in trying?

Offline Walter B

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2016, 03:20:28 PM »
That was really good. Very funny and it kept getting crazier. Looking forward to more art!  :D :D hope hankitae gets those panty-shots right haha

It also has a catchy title. Makes you interested right away.

Yoko took off her vest and lifted her shirt to reveal her bra. It wasn't taken off, and rested on her breasts

Isn't that redundant? if it was taken off, it would be reveal her boobs instead of reveal her bra.

Great Job OhGodHelpMe!!  :clapping:
« Last Edit: February 20, 2016, 03:35:35 PM by Walter B »

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Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2016, 07:40:00 PM »
Thank you thank you   :thumbsup:

New and lewd chapter coming up

Day 4: My Ex-Girlfriends Have Declared a Boob War
Wipe it? Scrub it? I'll make it sparkle for you!

And so began another day in the wonderful home of Yoko Akiyama! This time, Aika was a guaranteed guest. It was the weekend now, and on this morning, Yoko lined everyone up in the kitchen like a squad of able-bodied soldiers. Isabella tied her hair in a double side ponytail and wore her usual tank-top and underwear. Aika had a pair of black pajama pants with lightning bolt patterns on them and wore whatever shirt she could find. She tied her hair in a messy bun. Izanami didn't quite have the same sense of fashion and wore her traditional clothing around the house. Osamu just wore his thermal and sweatpants, staying faithful to the "dopey schmuck" routine. Instead of a sword this morning, Yoko held a mop.

Yoko: Alright. Since we're all officially living here together, we'll all need to take responsibility for the house. Isabella, your horrendously ugly and I hate your guts, but you clean like a housewife. For that, I commend you.

Isabella: I'll accept that. I'm too tired to be angry right now.

Yoko: Izanami, normally I'd be very adamant on letting a Shinto deity and god of death stay in my home, but you're very responsible and independent, as expected. When I saw you cooking, cleaning, and peacekeeping around the house, my worries were dispelled. Even though I'll stab your heart if you ever try to take Osamu away from me, I want you to know that you are very welcome and appreciated here.

Izanami bowed graciously.

Izanami: I thank you very much.

(She's too kind for her own good.)

Yoko: Osamu?

Osamu: Yes ma'am!

Yoko blushed as she spoke.

Yoko: You could be the dirtiest, laziest, nihilistic, alcoholic, abusive husband who screams at me in front of the kids every New Year's, and I'd still love you and accept you. My house, food, bed, and body are yours for all eternity.

Osamu: Don't say that in front of the other girls!

Aika: What about me?

Yoko stared at Aika for a few seconds, as if she was gazing into the cosmos.

Aika: Umm...hello?

Yoko: As I've said, you're welcome here too. Just uphold your responsibilities and you can live here rent-free.

Aika: Good enough for me, I guess.

Yoko: Ahem! Now then, let's get cleaning. Isabella, you handle the kitchen counters and the dishes. Izanami, mop the floors. Aika, make sure the bathrooms are spotless. Osamu, you can lay down and relax.

All the other girls looked over at Osamu with stink eyes.

Osamu: No way, I want to help too!

Yoko: Oh gosh, you're so responsible! Okay! Get to work, everyone. Osamu, come upstairs with me so we can tidy the room.

Everyone got to work taking care of the house they were all living in. Osamu walked in the master bedroom with Yoko, and she shut the door behind them.

(Hmm? This place is pretty clean already. We'd do better starting somewhere more filthy than this.)

Osamu: Hey, Yoko, maybe we should...uhh...

Yoko was standing by the door, her legs squirming and her face pink.

Yoko: Osamu...I kind of have a problem...

Osamu: W-what is it?

Yoko held her hands to her heart and closed her eyes, speaking quietly so nobody could overhear.

Yoko: I threw out all my old underwear and replaced them with new pairs, but I forgot to wash them before putting them on and they feel really itchy!

(Are these the woes of being a woman?)

Osamu: So what, just put another pair on.

Yoko: Idiot! Those pairs will most likely be itchy too! They were all made in the same place by the same manufacturer!

Osamu: Well, what the hell do you want me to do?

Yoko: Let me borrow a pair of your underwear, just for today!

(Ah, what the hell...)

Osamu picked out another pair from the drawer and handed them to Yoko.

Osamu: Here.

Yoko: Thank you! You're a lifesaver.

Osamu: Yeah, no pro-

Osamu turned his head and saw Yoko taking off her pair of panties right then and there with only her nightgown covering her.

Osamu: Y-y-y-yoko! Maybe you should change in the bathroom!

Yoko really looked genuinely perplexed by Osamu's statement.

Yoko: What? But married couples change in front of each other all the time. I don't mind if you see me naked or anything.

Osamu: I know, but there's only so much temptation a man can take!

Yoko: Temptation, huh?

(Crap, did that trigger something worse?!)

Yoko pushed Osamu onto the bed and pinned him down. Her face was just mere centimeters away from his.

Yoko: You're a temptation everyday, Osamu-shujin


*Shujin is a family title for husband*

Yoko: Or maybe you prefer Anata?

Osamu: No, no. Osamu is fine...

Yoko rose up off of Osamu, the sun shining brightly on her confident and flirtatious face.

Yoko: Oh well. You'll have plenty of years to decide, dear.

Yoko continued changing in front of Osamu, but he didn't seem to mind now. There was something else on his mind.

(I wonder what she saw...when she kissed Aika yesterday. It was something so urgent that she completely flipped the switch on her usual behavior and accepted her here)

Osamu: Yoko...

Yoko was now tying her hair into a ponytail.

Yoko: Yes, love?

Osamu: What exactly did you learn when you kissed Aika?

Yoko stopped tying her hair, letting it fall back down. She stared blankly at Osamu and then continued to tie her hair.

Yoko: Listen, Osamu. It's best not to pry.

Osamu: But it concerns me too. I want to know what-

Yoko yelled out in such force and assertion that it startled Osamu.

Yoko: Enough!

A very uncomfortable silence fell upon them

(Why did she get so defensive?)

Yoko: As I've said, you should never pry into a woman's problems. Let Aika be, okay?


Yoko: I'm gonna go help out in the kitchen. You can rest if you want.

Yoko left Osamu by himself. He sat on the bed wondering what Yoko was hiding, and if it was wise to ask Aika directly.

(Does it have something to do with who she loves? If it's me, she wouldn't invite her into the home like that. And as far as I know, Aika isn't interested in women either, so...just what is it? I'll probably just drive myself crazy trying to wrap my head around it.)

Osamu closed his eyes and let his mind drift away. He thought about the night he heard Aika playing guitar under the bridge.

(Heh...now that I think about it, we met the same way too. After my ordeal with Yoko, I often spent my time walking around at night, and I just so happened to walk by that bridge and heard her playing. Back then, she snuck out at night just because she liked being a rebellious spirit. I still remember the blush in her face when I told her how awesome it was that her name meant Love Song and she just so happened to love music. If there's ever such a thing as love as first sight, I think that night would be it. We spent a lot of time together back then, until...she suddenly stopped showing up under the bridge. 4 weeks or so later, she appeared there again just to tell me she wouldn't be able to show up anymore, but she still wanted to continue the relationship. I was young, stupid, and childishly possessive, and got mad at her for it. Then we just sort of...went our separate ways. Now, I know that she didn't show up because her mother was sick. But, like she does now, she hid away the source of her pain, and I was left in the dark regarding the reason for her strange behavior. If only I'd been more patient and understanding back then...)

Osamu stood up and shook out his hair.

(Well, not like I can go back in time and fix all of this, right? No use sulking about it now.)

Osamu opened the door and immediately bumped into Aika, who almost dropped both the candles she was holding.

Osamu: Crap, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were out here!

Aika: What if I had gotten hot wax all over me, you clumsy schmuck!

Osamu: Uhh...what are you doing with those candles anyway?

Aika: I just finished cleaning all the bathrooms, so I wanted to put candles in each of them so that they smelled extra nice.

Osamu: Wow, as always, you commit your heart and soul to everything you do!

Aika: W-would you relax! It's just candles. You're acting like I'm marrying Yoko or something. I just don't want her hounding my ass after she let me stay here. Which reminds me. Why aren't you paying or helping out? Oh no...you're screwing her, aren't you?

(I forgot, she can ask very bold questions sometimes...)

Osamu: Oh come on, I'm not that type of guy.

Aika: Sure, sure. But I do know that Yoko is honestly quite gorgeous, and you're not a very difficult man to charm.

(Have more faith in me!)

Osamu: That may be true but I have self control.

Aika: Except when apples are involved, huh?

(She went there!)

Osamu: Whatever! I'm going downstairs.

Aika: What an idiot.

Osamu went downstairs into the kitchen and saw that the floors had been mopped, the counters were wiped, and the sink was free of dishes. Izanami sat down at the counter with Yoko and Isabella after a job well done.

Osamu: Wow, you guys really went at it.

Isabella: A clean house is a peaceful house.

Izanami: And I'm a goddess, so hatred of filth is practically hardwired into my psyche.

Yoko: You both did well.

Isabella: Hey, Yoko. I don't mean to be a nag or anything, but shouldn't we make plans to do something fun? It is summer, after all.

Yoko: Hmm? Fun? Like what?

Isabella: Like getting ice cream, going shopping, hiking, or going to the beach!

Yoko: And just who do you expect to pay for all-

Yoko's mind immediately flashed towards Aika, and she quickly took back her point.

Yoko: Actually, that would be a great idea.

Isabella: Huh? Were you worried about who would pay? Don't worry! Instead of spending my money to terrorize you and Osamu with the shock and awe of modern day military prowess, I'll put some to the side and dedicate it to having fun!

Izanami: That sounds like quite the fun idea!

(It's gotten quite peaceful here. Though, I think it's due to Yoko holding back ever since she let Aika stay.)

Yoko: Well? What do you think, Osamu? Any of that sound fun to you?

Osamu: Well, sure. Why not?

Yoko: Very well then. We'll start making plans. I'll go get some paper so we can make a list.

Izanami: Hey Aika, come down here!

Aika: Coming!

Aika came downstairs and Yoko came back with lined paper and a pencil.

Aika: What's going on?

Yoko: Sit down, we're having an intervention for your addiction to painkillers.

Aika: What?!

Osamu: What she means is, we're making of list of fun things to do during the summer.

Aika: Oh, really?

Yoko: Going to the beach is a given. I want to be able to undress in front of Osamu and show him that the fruits of my body are sweeter than any of yours.

(Still so competitive even in this situation!)

Isabella slammed her hands on the table.

Isabella: You what? My body is twice as bangin' as yours! You may have the ass, but you lack the sass!

Aika: You may have the boobs, Isabella, but you lack the moves.

Isabella: And you may have the hips but you lack the quips!

(Are we making a list or writing a song)

Yoko: Fine then. I guess it's declared.

Isabella: What's declared?

Yoko: Oh, you know.

Yoko had the most power-hungry expression on her face, as fierce as the raging ocean.

Yoko: Boob Wars.

Isabella gasped in horror and Aika covered her mouth and blushed.

Izanami: What's Boob Wars?

Osamu: I'm assuming they're going to compare breast sizes.

Izanami: Why?

(I forgot. Izanami doesn't have much of a sense of sexuality, does she?)

Osamu: At least you're too innocent to be involved in their misc-

Izanami: I wanna participate too!

(You've gotta be kidding me! They even got my sweet, innocent Izanami?!)

Yoko: Alright, ladies. Shirts up.

(You what?! This is indecent!)

Osamu covered up his eyes as the girls lifted up their shirts and revealed their fun bags to each other.

(I can't see a thing and I honestly don't want to! Apples is one thing but Boob Wars are different!)

Isabella: Hmm...

Yoko: Izanami is definitely the smallest.

Izanami: Really?!

Isabella: Yep, by far. They're cute though!

Yoko: I agree, they're quite cute and nicely shaped despite their lack of size. I would be proud of them.

Izanami: Ah! Thank you!

(I kinda wonder what a dead girl's boobs would look like...)

Isabella: Mines are definitely bigger than Aika's too.

Aika: N-no way!

Yoko: Yeah, they are, you just have larger areolas.

(What even is that?!)

Izanami and Aika put down their shirts. The final battle was between Yoko and Aika.

Isabella: No good, they need to be right next to each other!

Isabella and Yoko put their boobs together for the other girls to judge, making the comparison easier.

Izanami: Isabella is bigger.

Aika: Yep, she's bigger.

Yoko: Are you blind?! There's no way she's bigger!

Isabella: I totally am though, look. Our boobs start and seem to end at the same point if we measure them on an Y axis, but mines reach further out on an X axis and take up more space in the quadrants.

(She turned boobs into a geometry lecture?!)

Yoko: I...I can't believe it...

Isabella: Yay! I won!

Aika and Izanami clapped for Aika as she put down her shirt and jumped up in the air. Yoko kept her breasts exposed and rushed over to Osamu, grabbing his hand and placing it on her chest.

Yoko: Osamu, are my boobs really smaller?!

(This is not happening! Don't open your eyes Osamu!)

Osamu: Uhhh-

Yoko: Don't "uhhh" me! There's no way her boobs are bigger right?!

Osamu: They are though, they really are!

Yoko let go of Osamu, covering both her eyes with her hands and slouching against the fridge in shame as Isabella continued to cheer.

Isabella: Thanks Osamu! Just for that, I'll let you touch them later!

Yoko: Do it and I'll tie you to an anchor and throw you into the river!

Isabella: Don't be a poor sport just because you lost. Izanami is the smallest of us all and look how well she took it.

Yoko: Fine...

Yoko put down her shirt, and Osamu was able to open his eyes again.

Yoko: Everyone, get dressed! First thing on our list is heading to the beach! We'll have a Swimsuit Battle next!

Isabella: Oh yeah, baby! It's on now!

Aika: My skin could really use some sun, so why not.

Izanami: Count me in too!

Osamu: I think I'll stay home, you guys can go without m-

Isabella pulled out her gun, Yoko, pulled out her sword, and Aika pulled out a guitar string, ready to be used as a choking wire. Izanami just gave him a really sour look.

(What the hell...)

Yoko: You're coming with us, whether you like it or not.

Isabella: You're going to look at and judge our swimsuits.

Aika: Or you'll die and be fed to wolves.

Izanami: I...uh...you'll be a real stinky face if you don't come and enjoy the time with us!

(I guess that's the best she can muster...)

Osamu: Alright, fine. We'll go to the beach.

Everyone cheered once more, and the date was set. The family of little lunatics was net dead set for the beach of singing sands and sparkling water!

Offline HydroZephyr

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #25 on: February 21, 2016, 03:04:08 AM »
Oooh you got some nudity... I like
This gets better and better, so awesome!  :thumbsup:
Anyway I love the story, keep at it
Aim high, otherwise what is the point in trying?

Offline han ki-tae

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #26 on: February 22, 2016, 03:33:04 AM »

Last Ex - Izanami.


I hope OhGodHelpMe likes the design. :)


Offline OhGodHelpMe

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #27 on: February 22, 2016, 04:27:04 AM »
Excellent timing, HKT, I was just about to drop a chapter too  :clapping: Loving everything about it! The hair is wicked and you did good work on her weapon. I don't think I've shown her being very deadly in the MR version of this story, as she's set up to be the sweetest, innocent, and most rational of the exes. I'll have to edit in some fierceness for the one-shot version though. Gonna be sick to see her in action  8)

New chapter!

Day 4 and 1/2: We Had to Walk Home Because My Ex Girlfriend Pissed Off the Bus Driver
A woman's bathing suit is a woman's pride!

What's the best part about summer? Waiting in the heat for the bus to arrive! That's exactly what everyone was doing. It was a beautiful day, but the heat was just something else. Izanami especially hated it since her skin was pale and cold.

Izanami: Is this "swimming"? It's kind of miserable.

Yoko: We're not at the beach yet, genius. We're waiting for the bus to get there.

Izanami: There's a beach in the underworld! It's so pretty!

Isabella: Really?!

Izanami: Yeah! It's filled with blood and skeletons and-

Isabella/Yoko/Aika/Osamu: No thanks...

Izanami: Oh...okay.

Yoko: Osamu, what time is it?

Osamu checked the time on his phone.

Osamu: 12:59. It should be here any minute now.

Isabella: I wonder if the bus got hijacked or something.

And so they sat in silence for a few more minutes before the bus finally arrived. The good news was that the driver had just returned from a stop, so the bus was empty. He waved them in and closed the doors, beginning the drive to the beach. As they were on the move, Isabella checked her bag to make sure everyone would had enough sunscreen when they got there. Yoko looked ahead at the bus driver's direction, Aika stared out the window, and Izanami pressed her face against the glass in excitement, since riding a bus was a rare experience for her.

Driver: Sorry I was late! There were lot of people wanting to go places during this season, you know? Just like my wife and child, the loveable little muffins! I've been married for over 10 years and every summer since then has just been hectic, you know? So, I'm guessing you kids are going to the beach?

Yoko: Nobody's talking to you, just drive the bus, Bus Driver.

And that was the end of that.

Finally, they arrived at the beach! They were dropped off near the stores close to the beach, where they'd be able to buy swimsuits. Yoko was the last go get off the bus.

Driver: Have fun!

Yoko bowed and smiled.

Yoko: Thank you! I'll be awaiting the inevitable divorce that your kid will spend his whole life blaming you for!

The bus door closed and they ran off to the store. The beach was lovely, lively, and sunny today. Everywhere they looked, people were in bathing suits and swimming trunks. Needless to say, the girls dragged Osamu into the store against his will as they picked out bathing suits.

Isabella: Oo! This one has cute frills on it! Don't you love it, Osamu?

Osamu: There's nothing I love more than cute, frilly, girl crap.

Isabella: Okay, but imagine cute, frilly, girl crap adorning a nice set of knockers!

Osamu: Still not enough. Knockers and frills can't survive on their own, they need context. A perfect body and a perfect girl to go along with it. Otherwise, it's all meaningless.

Aika: Spoken like a true harem hero.

(Can it, Aika.)

Aika picked out a boringly black bathing suit and held it up.

Aika: Would this look good on me?

Yoko: It fits you quite well, bland and boring.

Aika: I'm not trying to impress anyone! You on the other hand can't stop thinking about Osamu!

Yoko: Yeah I love my man and he loves me, what's the problem with that?

(Catfights, anyone?)

Osamu: How about this, I'll go set up our spot before the beach gets too crowded. You guys hurry and decide what you're gonna buy.

Isabella: Alright, get a good spot for us! Take my bag, it's got everything.

Osamu avoided that bullet waiting to strike him in the head and went out towards the beach. The smell of sea was a wonderful change of pace, and so was the warm feeling of the sand. He found a good spot to set up the 6-foot umbrella in Isabella's bag. Now he just had to wait.

(It's nice to have some peace. It's been a long time since I went to the beach here...)

Yoko: Yoo-hoo!

Osamu looked behind him as he heard Yoko's voice call out to him, and he saw all the girls in their bathing suits.

(Look at them go! Isabella was right to choose something blue and frilly! And I see Aika broke out of her shell and chose a white bathing suit with lace! Yoko stuck to strawberry red, with a little bit of black thrown in for the extra sexy effect and....what in god's name is Izanami wearing?!)

Izanami wore a helmet in the shape of a rubber duck, a school-style bathing suit, arm floaties, and a rubber duck inner tube.

(They did this to her on purpose, didn't they...)

Osamu: Izanami...how...what did you guys do?

Isabella tried to contain her laughter.

Isabella: Nothing, Osamu! We just..pffthaha...we just helped her choose something that fit her!

Izanami: Ease up, Osa! Aren't the rubber duckies cute?

Despite looking stupid, Izanami really did look happy wearing everything.

(Well, as long as she's happy I guess.)

Yoko: Alright! Let's hit the waves!

Osamu took off his shirt and jumped in with the girls into the sparkling blue waters. Yoko, Aika, and Isabella led the way and deliberately began splashing the water at each other as Osamu helped Izanami ease in to the ocean. Surprisingly, she was pretty nervous.

Izanami: It's so cold! I'm scared!

(Has she never been to a beach before in her life?!)

Osamu: Izanami, didn't you create the sea a long time ago?

Izanami: That doesn't mean I'm not scared of it!


Osamu: Alright, let's go in together. Close your eyes and hang on to me.

Izanami held on tight to Osamu, and she could feel the shill of the water beneath her feet slowly climb up to her stomach. Before she knew it, she was in.

Osamu: Alright, open up!

Izanami opened her eyes and smiled like a proud child.

Izanami: I did it! Thank you Osa!

(Has Izanami always been this cute?)

As Izanami and Osamu seemed to lock eyes under the bright sun and sparkling waters, the other girls were so angry the water was steaming.

Yoko: The only reason why you're not drowning right now is because I wouldn't do that to a traditional deity. But please...get off my man.

Isabella: I think you mean MY man, Yoko.

Yoko: Oh really?

Yoko tackled Isabella into the water, splashing some on Aika.

Aika: Great, now they're going at it!

Isabella and Yoko popped up out of the water, each taking breaths as they rose up.

Isabella: You bitch! Give me back my top!

Yoko dangled Isabella's top as she laughed.

Yoko: Why are you guarding your chest, anyway? It's not like anyone can see through the water!

Isabella: Because I...they...

Yoko: Hmm? Spit it out already, what is it?

Isabella: They'll float in the water if I let them go!

Izanami: Whoa...

Yoko: T-they really are big...take this back then!

Isabella: T-thanks...

Aika: Hey, Osamu, that reminds me. Which one of us has the best swimsuit?

(Damn it, I knew this would happen.)

Osamu: Uhh, well...

Isabella grabbed hold of Osamu's arm and put on her best, blushing puppy face.

Isabella: Osa, my swimsuit was the best, right? Right?

(It's so hard to resist those blue eyes...)

Yoko: Osa, since I am an ocean child, it only makes sense that I would naturally win at something like this.

(Just because your name means Ocean Child, it doesn't mean you can just declare victory!)

Izanami grabbed Osamu's other arm and spoke with a determined voice and face.

Izanami: Rubber duckie, feelin' lucky!


Osamu: I think it's quite obvious.

The suspense killed the hearts of the girls as Osamu took a deep breath and announced the winner.

Osamu: Izanami wins the Battle of the Swimsuits!

Izanami gasped and covered her mouth as she blushed, and even the people around them clapped for her.

Yoko: What?!

Isabella: RIGGED!

Aika: I'm not even competing and I'm kind of mad too.

Osamu: Step right up, Izanami-no-Mikoto!

Osamu walked her out of the water as more people crowded and clapped for her

Osamu: How are ya feelin' Izanami? You feel good?

Izanami was on the verge of happy tears.

Izanami: I feel incredible!

Osamu: Good, you should! As for your reward, you win... a new bottle of anti-solar elixir!

Izanami placed her hands on her cheeks in shock at the sight of this incredible elixir, which was really just a bottle of sunscreen.

Izanami: Wow! Thank you so much! I will honor it forever!

Isabella: Has she never seen a bottle of sunscreen before?

Osamu: Congratulations!

Yoko: I'd hate her, but it's wrong to hate gods.

The girls all dried off under the umbrella and laid down on their towels as they watched other people swim, walk, and talk around the beach. Izanami was still giddy about winning a bottle of sunscreen.

Osamu: Hey, Aika, didn't we go down to this beach once? It was a long time ago.

Aika: Hmm? Oh yeah, we did. I used to collect sea shells back then and I dragged you down here with me. It was at night though, if I remember correctly.

Osamu: Good times, huh?

Aika: Are you doing that thing where you bring up memories and it's supposed to make me remember my feelings for you?

Osamu: Of course not! I was gonna get to the point that I'm just, you know, really glad we all got to come here together and have a good time.

Aika: Well, that's true.

(As dense as ever...)

Osamu: Are you glad we came here too?

Aika: Yeah, sure. Why not.

Osamu: You don't have to be so cold about it.

Aika: Look, if you still think this place means anything to me beyond being a beach, I'll be glad to inform you that I wouldn't even consider dying here if I could choose to do so.

(That actually hurt...)

Osamu: Sorry.

Aika: It's fine.

Though they didn't notice, Yoko could hear the conversation go on behind her. She didn't say anything, nor did she look back at them. After a day well spent, the sun began to set. Aika helped Osamu gather everything up as the others shook sand out of their clothes and hair. Osamu couldn't help but notice that Aika, even when she was close to Osamu as they packed, didn't bother to look at him.

(Maybe what Yoko was hiding really did have to do with Aika's feelings. I wonder if she urged me to stay away so that I wouldn't get hurt. I can't say I'm sure, but it seems like she may have been trying to protect me.)

Isabella: Bus is here! Let's go home!

Everyone were about to get on the bus, but realized it was the same bus driver that Yoko had made the nasty remark towards earlier.

Driver: Awaiting my divorce, huh? I'll be awaiting the police report that says that all of you assholes died and your bodies were found mangled and stuffed in boxes! Get off my bus!

And so, the five of them had to walk back home. It was already dark by now. The good news was that they were already almost home. The bad news was that their legs were sore and their stomachs were cramped.

Yoko: Hey, the bowling alley is just up ahead. Let's stop there for a second and rest. Osamu, can you grab some water from the convenience store?

Osamu: Yeah, sure. You guys go on ahead.

It was a quick trip. Osamu purchased a few bottles of water from the store and stuffed them inside of Isabella's bag. He then walked to the bowling alley, climbing over the sign that told people to stay out. There was a row of columns of stained glass windows, each decorated with images of bowling balls and pins. Though they were multicolored, there was a unique primary color for each of them. Aika sat right in front of the far left column, which was primarily green.

 Next to her under the red column sat Yoko. The next one over from Yoko was empty, and the purple column after that was occupied by Izanami. The blue column next to Izanami had Isabella sitting by it. The moonlight shone through the stained glass and projected their color and patterns onto the large window sills and the dilapidated wood of the main floor of the bowling alley.

The bowling balls reflected the light in warped perspective, and some of the pins laying around also caught the light. Osamu walked in with the water, handed one to each of them, and sat down under the orange column, right in the middle.

Izanami: Thanks Osa!

Osamu: No problem.

Isabella: Well? Did everyone have fun?

Yoko: I'll admit, you have great ideas when it comes to this kind of stuff. Did you have anything else in mind for tomorrow?

Isabella: Hmm...how about a movie?

Aika: Sounds good to me.

Izanami: I'm in too!

Yoko: Did you have fun today, Aika?

Aika: Yeah, it was alright. Thank you for taking me with you.

(I wonder if my earlier guess was right.)

Isabella: Crap, what are we gonna do about dinner?

Yoko: I can make us some mean beef ramen if you'd like.

Izanami: Ooo! That sounds so good!

Isabella: Alright! I'm all rested up! Let's get on home.

Everyone stood up after finishing their water, rejuvenated and ready to make the final stretch home. Osamu held onto Yoko's arm, holding her back as the others walked on ahead.

Yoko: What is it?

Osamu: What is it about Aika that's got you acting like this? Were you trying to protect me from the fact that she doesn't feel anything for me anymore.

Yoko: As I've said, you shouldn't mess around with a girl's problems.

Osamu: Cut it out! How am I supposed to trust you if you won't tell me anything about this?

Yoko: The only thing that you need to know is that it would be the best for all of us if Aika was kept around other people. The one thing I can tell you is that Aika has been through crushing loneliness ever since you left. She doesn't have anybody to take care of her.

(That's definitely true...)

Yoko: What I'm asking for is faith. Have some faith in me, okay? I've got this.

Osamu: Fine.

Yoko and Osamu caught up with the others as they continued the walk home. The whole time, Osamu was gazing over at Aika, who still wouldn't look at him. Finally, they arrived in front of the house and walked through its front yard.

Isabella! Finally! I'll get into some comfy clothes and help out in the kitchen.

Izanami: I'll get the pots ready!

Osamu: Hey, Aika, can I talk to you for a minute?

Aika: Uh...sure...

Osamu and Aika stayed outside as the others went in.

(Maybe I should tell her...)

Aika: What is it?

Osamu: I...a few days ago, I went to visit your mother's grave. I felt bad about what happened to her while I was gone, so I wanted to offer my prayers and burn some incense for her. I'm guessing that my bad timing has something to do with why you won't look at me when you're reminded of things we used to do, right? So, I guess, that was my way of telling you and her that...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you to deal with something so harsh.

Osamu looked up and saw Aika's eyes sparkle with tears.

Aika: You...you went to her grave?

Osamu smiled.

Osamu: Yep, sure d-

Aika: Why would you do that?!

(What? Is she angry?)

Aika: You're so full of crap! You think you can just walk over to someone's grave, pray about this, pray about that, burn some incense, and suddenly you're absolved of everything?! What am I supposed to do, forgive you? Congratulate you? "Hey everybody, Osamu finally took the time to understand what I was going through and visited my mom's grave! Isn't he great?!"

Osamu: Aika...

Aika: You're not sorry, and you'll never know what it means to be sorry because you never had to go through that! You can just come and go as you please and not feel like you're leaving anything behind, but what am I supposed to do when some of the people I love die here, and others just go away on their own without a care in the world?! What am I supposed to do, Osamu?!

(4 years of unexpressed anger...Yoko...you must've seen this when you kissed her.)

Aika stood crying on the doorstep, and Osamu couldn't find any words to say.

Aika: I hate you so much. Don't ever visit her grave again.

Osamu: Aika, I'm s-

Aika: DON'T! Don't say you're sorry.

(Again. I was foolish.)

They both went inside the house as Yoko, Isabella, and Izanami were in the kitchen preparing the meal. Aika was the first to pass by.

Isabella: Hey Aika, you're not allergic to red meat or anything, right? Aika?

Aika covered her eyes and ran upstairs. Osamu walked into the kitchen next and sat down at the table.

Isabella: Is Aika okay?

Yoko: Damn it, Osamu! What did you do?!

Osamu: Nothing! I just told her I visited her mom's grave and she...she just got mad.

Yoko: Idiot. I told you to leave her alone.

Izanami: What's wrong with Aika?

The conversation had now roused Isabella and Izanami's curiosity about what Aika was feeling. It put extra pressure on Yoko to keep it under wraps.

Yoko: All of you listen to me, because I will not say this twice. Do not dig into Aika's personal matters. Let her focus on the here and now. Understand?

The silence was all that was needed to declare that Yoko's word was absolute.

Yoko: Good.

The cooking continued as if nothing happened, and all four of them ate well. Isabella cleaned the dishes, and the kitchen was tidied up before they all went upstairs to brush their teeth and get ready for bed.

Yoko: Thanks for today, Izzy. I guess you aren't half-bad.

Isabella: Oh come on, don't tell me you're warming up to me now!

Yoko: As if! You're just not the raw sewage I thought you were, that's all.

(I'm pretty sure that still counts as warming up.)

Isabella: Good night you two, we'll find out what to do tomorrow!

Osamu: Sounds great. Goodnight.

Osamu and Yoko brushed their teeth in got into their clothes in the same bathroom, which had two sinks and a large tub. When that was done, Yoko climbed into bed and turned the lights out.

Yoko: Oh, Osamu, can you turn on the alarm? It's right down the end o the hall. The code is 1190.

Osamu: Ah, sure.

Osamu walked down the hall and did just that. When the code was entered and the alarm was engaged, a voice rang out from the alarm system, clearly belonging to Yoko.

Yoko: The alarm is now engaged. Intruders will be stabbed. Survivors will be stabbed again.

Osamu sighed.

(Of course she set this up.)

As he walked back towards Yoko's room, he passed by Isabella's room, where Aika was also sleeping. He could hear Aika faintly crying from beyond the door, and unpleasant feelings welled up inside him.

(Am I the source of all of this pain within Aika? I am, aren't I? What should I do? Is there anything I even can do?)

Osamu walked away from the door.

(Maybe it's best to leave it alone, like Yoko said. If I'm the problem, Aika can't heal if I'm constantly reminding her of the things that hurt her.)

Osamu climbed into bed with Yoko, who was facing him as he laid down. Her eyes were as blue as the moonlight spilling through the window.

Osamu: Yoko...

Yoko: Are you hurt?

Osamu: How did you know?

Yoko: Come on, we've kissed before. I know everything.

Yoko hugged Osamu.

Yoko: Let's sleep like this. It'll make you feel better.

Osamu: Thanks...

[All of my instincts told me to listen to Yoko. I could feel my bones screaming at me whenever I doubted her word. But there was a certain mystery that I needed to solve for myself. The mystery of Aika's heart.]
« Last Edit: March 04, 2017, 02:10:23 PM by OhGodHelpMe »

Offline SomeDude

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #28 on: February 22, 2016, 07:40:04 AM »
I had an idea like this but let it sit in my head forever. Looks good. Keep up the good work.

Offline HydroZephyr

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Re: Death By Ex-Girlfriends
« Reply #29 on: February 22, 2016, 11:05:33 AM »
Dude, im really liking this so far!
Keep up the good work  :clapping:
Aim high, otherwise what is the point in trying?