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Messages - legomaestro

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 1667
1
Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIVAL!!!
« on: August 31, 2021, 05:44:28 AM »
Day 2

Not Their Story

Samuel picked up the flowers at the shop with the reverence of a priest before a relic, even as Commander Brolev gave the green light to launch the nukes.

Samuel skipped through town, feeling like a back seat driver to the culmination of a narrative he felt in his bones was the start of a love story. Theresa, beautiful, quiet Theresa. He was going to dance with her tonight at the local festival. And as he thought these things Brolevs' superior Director Walcolm pulled out his own key and walked up to the console. The soldiers had already locked in the target locations.
 
Samuel waited for the red tram to pass, then started climbing the cobblestone street, passing the quaint squeezed-together houses, imagining her scent, imaging her waiting for him (and indeed she was). And the soldiers turned the keys, and Brolev flipped the red switch, exposing a red button.

And Samuel looked up at a beautiful sunny sky, and Brolev pressed the button, and Samuel saw Theresas' house, saw her silhouette there in her bonnet and white dress and frills - so old-school but so perfect. And the rocket rose and fired a thousand decoys, too fast to track, too fast to hinder.

And Samuel saw Theresa, and he smiled, revealing the roses, and turned to ash in that posem and the shadow of his love was heat-smeared into the cobblestone street below, along with the impression of a woman in a bonnet and white dress.

"Hit." Reported a soldier from his headphone.

Brolev and Walcolm nodded at eachother. Brolev closed the switch, pocketed his key and left the room. A war was ended.

2
Manga Art Gallery / Re: Legomaestro's Art Box
« on: August 30, 2021, 03:54:15 AM »
Thanks ye two.

4 months later I finally managed a sketch dump. So so so rusty but better than nothing I suppose haha.


3
Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIVAL!!!
« on: August 30, 2021, 03:00:05 AM »
Day 1

She Tried to Make My Head Explode


I hate humans, but I love to be in their company.

I sit on a bar stool drinking my lager, looking at through the haze of smoke, at the neon signs. Bartender is hovering near me again, seeing if I'm going to be trouble tonight or just quiet. I never go too overboard, and besides, there's always a nice idiot who makes me look as tame as a kitten.

I look at a group of very loud guys. Football bravado, or a Bachelor party. The shameful envy of youth bites me again, and I go for my cigarettes.

Not before a girl - so blonde it's almost white hair, in her late 30s, pretty in a tired sort of way - pulls one of out my jacket pocket, lights it and smokes. She stares at me as I look at her, annoyed.

But she only just stares and pulls on the cigarette, blows the smoke in the air. Stares at me.

"What gives?" I ask.

"I'm trying to make your head explode."

"And what pray tell-" I take a cigarette for myself, "Would I do to deserve that?"

"I dunno, you just seem like that kind of guy that hangs in ther background judging everybody. Sort of like a regular ass, you know?"

"Oh my ass isn't regular." I regret the words even as they come out.

"Nice." She stands up, "Thanks for the cigarette."

"You didn't ask."

"I don't need to." And she turns so gracefully and walks away so smoothly I've got to agree in some sense of the term.

I'm almost returning to my lager when she calls from across the bar, a fur- jacket halfway on,

"You coming or what?"

I look at her, I look at the bartender and he shrugs. I pay my bill, get my jacket and follow.
She's spinning on a carousel and I'm freezing my butt off on a see-saw.


"It's too damned cold for this." I complain.

"Live a little, old man!"

It hurts because it's true.  I suffer the see-saw, and the walk along the pier, and the walk through the streets. I hurry her along when she stares at certain people, I'm both on her leash and her protecter, and I cannot make heads or tails of what this is all about. Somewhere along the line we end up at a train station, and I know she's got to go.

"Will I ever see you again?"

"Oh, don't ruin it."

I guess I have my answer.

"If you happen to be around these parts, you can always try to explode my head. I'm around a lot."

"And that's why you're miserable."

I shrug. She smiles. "Thanks for indulging me." And it's so sincere I almost believe her.

She gets in a train to who knows where, and I decide it's too late to continue the night, and too darned cold. I head home.

4
Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIVAL!!!
« on: August 25, 2021, 03:22:34 AM »
Dystopia is my bread and butter haha thanks. And I haven't watched Gattaca quite yet. It was definitely on a film-list back in the day, and you know what? I want to check it out now.

Stereotypes are bae. Actually to get real grounded and epic characters you should probably steal from life and remix and match (exagerration is key) but I usually start with troupes and work my way up from there. Not consciously, but if I have to think that's what I do. Film and manga are of course inspiration, but after the first prototypical 'cute girl' 'desenfranchised teacher' 'haughty bastard' 'delinquent' I let them react as they possibly would in situations reacting with other characters, and go from there.

I can't say that I make particularly unique characters though. If I could analyze my stuff I'm pretty sure you could see the same speech patterns show up again and again. And oh gawd my fatal weakness is writing women. I just don't have it right haha.



Day 1 again. Funny enough same universe.



Gestiny II

Cliff was pissed, and terrified. His son Tim even more so at his reaction. .

Tim had never heard his father shout this loud before.

Never heard him curse. Curses cost Civilian points and seeing his watch deduct point for point after every single expletive, hearing his father ask him again and again 'what the *beep* he was *beeping* *beeping* thinking smoking like a *beeping* *beep* when there were plenty - PLENTY of other *beeps* a *beeping* *beep* could take, were beyond him.

Cliff calmed down, held a face to his hand, glanced at his watch, groaned, pulled up his burner phone and dialed a number. The in-house survelliance shut off. He had 5 minutes.

"Listen..." Cliff cleared his throat. His teenage idiot of a son was staring at him like he'd grown tentacles on his face - disgusted and terrified.

"Tim listen. LISTEN. I'm only mad because you left your cigarette stubs, and I'm sorry to say you're in bad, bad trouble. Do you hear me?"

"I know about carcinogens dad-"

"OH SHUT THE *BEEP* UP! THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT EVEN WE CURED CANCER DECADES AGO. This... Is Worse."

Cliff shivered. 

Tim shut up.

Cliff looked out of the window of their beautiful high rise apartment. Avalia. City of the Chosen, City of love, light and extra-punctual zero-carbon footprint maglev trains and busses. Flying cars, endless mood-enhancing lighting and most importantly peace - endless, mild, beautiful elite peace. And money. Always the money.
4 minutes. Cliff sighed,
"Kid, we're probably going to get a phonecall now from whatever scum picked up the cigarette butt, and they're going to ask for a lot of money."

"W-what?"

"Your DNA. We're Elites. We've been born and bred to be perfect. Everything we have here..." He waved vaguely at the coffee machine, the Omni-headset that played whatever you felt like watching and tuned in to your ocular implants and iFeel system (so long as it was government regulated)

"... Is because we've got the right blood. The right genetic code. And it's not only cooperate property, it's your password, your education, your everything."

"Dad, what the hell are you-"

"You just gave a scavenger a backdoor to duplicate your code, maybe make his own Timothy in a stolen vat, maybe he'll just drain all our accounts of money, or if he's feeling particularly like an ass, maybe he'll just report our family, and that means getting kicked out of the city: ALONG WITH OUR ENTIRE DAMN LINEAGE. Our neighbours, our *beeping' cat."

Tim was shivering now. He was piecing together the bits.
Cliff looked at his watch. One minute, then the survelliance went on. He sighed. He pat Tim on the shoulder,
"If I believed in God, I'd say you should pray nothing went wrong right now."

His burner phone beeped. The signal-block was deactivated, and they waited for minutes there, over the white table.
The call never came.

***

Director Fowley smiled as Marcus walked passed him and passed him a plastic baggie with a cigarette butt. They palmed it, walked passed smoothly.

Director Fowley smiled to himself. All according to plan. This was going almost too well.

5
Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIVAL!!!
« on: August 20, 2021, 07:31:00 AM »
Haha trying, trying. Fell off the wagon majorly because I got so super busy haha.

Day 1


I definitely want to expand upon this idea to make it a short story at least. Definitely didn't work for a flash fiction, which is my aim for the next couple of days to get back on the horse. CLiff-hanger ending but I like the ideas and hope to develop it later.



Gestiny
---

Director Fadley stood in his grey mantle that made his shoulders twice his width, and he looked comical but as he stared them down with with huge spectacles,
"As you know."

Marcus yawned as he played Tetris on his Datpad, mockingly miming the assembly speech he and the other students were forced to hear every morning before the classes. Tim knudged him in the gut,

"Dude you aiming for solitary this week?"

"Meh." Marcus said. Still, he put away his Datpad and pointed at the metal collar around his neck,

"What the worst they could do, execute me?


***

Director Fadley stripped off the bothersome regalia with much patience in the Staff Office, all the while fantasizing of getting his hand on a rifle, a good old school relic from the Wars with lead bullets and leading a charge right here and right now against the government. Better to die obliterated by laser pistols than to have to recite that accursed morning greeting.

"Excellent, as always, Director." Said Mel-44, his assistant droid and for all intents and purposes, his warden. Through the eyes of the thousands of cameras throughout the school, Director was only but a pawn to the government.

"Ah but of course, Mel. It's like scripture to me, and always feels me with such purpsoe."

He smiled as he adjusted his own metal collar - white, to stand out from the students and staff, but for the same purposes all the same.

"May I have a ration of coffee, please?" He asked. Mel smiled - so lifelike, these androids - and went off to make him coffee. Fadley was dreaming of parashooting into the roof of Central Government. His fantasy ended with him being melted by the dome-shield.


***

Tim ushered Marcus in the toilet, the only place that was free of monitoring for 10 minutes, something all students used to their advantage.

"Dude, I don't want to smoke." Marcus groaned, bemoaning the highscore he almost got.

"Shh.  This is better." Tim said.

Marcus saw five other students clamouring around someone - Jerris, a geek. A really haughty and legendary geek who never fratenized like this. For him to allow people to crowd around like this must mean something.

"This looks like something that'd get us worse than Solitary."

Tim grinned as he came over the the huddle "And all the more worth it. He hacked the timer. We have 20 minutes. You want to see your Destiny File?"

Marcus froze , "What the hell is the point-"

A student exclaimed and groaned loudly. His friend laughed at him as he pat him on the back,

"BAHAHA YOU GET BALD ALONG WITH EARLY DEMENTIA. JEEZ ILL TAKE MY STROKE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK."
Marcus stopped at the doorway,
"I'm not looking, man."

"Why? No one leaves school alive anyways, dude, and we're graduating next year so what's the harm?"

"It's bad enough I have to carry this around without knowing exactly how my inferior genes will get me killed."

"Knowledge is freedom, Marcus. Come on, where is your artistic spirit?"

"Just no."

Marcus stormed out. Tim shrugged and went over to Jerris to check up his Destiny File.


***

Marcus played his violin and forgot the world for a moment, for several moments, for hours in fact and only woke up when he noticed Director Fowley standing in the room with him.

Marcus jumped to attention, "Director."

Fowley waved him down. "Musician. The only one this year. You're good." He rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a bona-fide cigarette and started lighting it.

Marcus expected the cameras to flash alerts, gun-turrets to appear, security droids - "What are you-"
Fowley waved him down,

"Jerris is really good at what he does. Besides, what's the worst that could happen, they execute us?" He grinned as he exhaled,

Marcus was dumfounded, then gathered himself, "What do you want, Sir."

"I want someone to graduate and prove everyone wrong. Either that or a real plate of steak and potatoes, or maybe
I'll make a militia out of the students here, don't really know."
Marcus had been enrolled from birth in this school for 14 years. He'd known Fowley forever. Always following protocol,
always non-commital. This is the most he'd heard of him. Ever.

"Is this a test, Sir?"

"Stop calling me Sir. I'm only 40." He stubbed the cigarette and checked his watch,

"You see, I've tried to play by the book, tried to beat those depressing Destiny Files, you know? I've had many
promising students. The greatest of hard workers, the most fanatical, heroic, dedicated students and even quite a
few genuises. One of them even got to graduate and had a trial residence in the main population. He watched porn
and executed in the first week, just as his genetic profile predicted."

Marcus blinked.

Fowley showed him a Datpad, and before Marcus could look away he saw his face along with all the gruesome details
of his future,

"You're going to, like any good musician, be interested in drunks, alcohol, delinquency, the whole nine yards. Heck,
you'd be a Guerilla in the right conditions."

Marcus looked away too late, wanted to block his ears, "Damn you! Why!"
Fowley leaned back, "I'm betting on you to beat the system, because you're one of the laziest, most apathetic
students I've ever had. Your violin is good, but average at best, and you've only barely surfed through all of your studies, but hilariously enough, you're the most reliable. You never get reprimanded enough to get expelled, and you never get so low a grade you won't pass into next year. Maybe instead of caring for blazing fires that burn themselves out, I can work with someone like you, who's slow and steady."

Marcus looked out the window, at the simulated sunlight, the one the main population got to enjoy, the one denied to those lesser than those perfect elites, those condemned to this prison, this ghetto of a school ,

"What the hell do you want me to do, concretely, SIR." 
Fowley smiled, "We've got 5 minutes. Listen carefully."

6
Members Manga / Re: Omega World [Prototype]
« on: August 02, 2021, 07:02:19 PM »
General Comments

Spoiler
Chapter 3


Phew the bomb hit

Haha felt that defiant roar of 'I'm going to live, you hear me!!'

Yeah I'd pass on apprenticeship with this dude too. No offence '^^

Hahaha him realizing the world has magic seems super obvious to the dude but I think I'd say that too.

Darcie, Darcie, Darcie deaaar (The name reminded me of Flogging Mollys' Murphy for some reason)

Lesser healing is pretty effective haha. Can it maintain status of weaponry and shields? Because he looks real cleaned up.

 Pfft healing him only to wack him on the head haha.

Nani? The healing didn't work. Interesting.

Oh gawd is he immune to magic effects for some reason? Would be unfortunate in terms of needing healing but would be a great buff if he meets any nasty characters down the line.

Ah the healing worked. Interesting.

"It's only right to help someone in need!" They really are twins haha

'Traveller' is the most apt way to put things yeah.

It is indeed a magical tool that keeps food that never spoils. Always amazed at the invention of tin food tbh haha. It has no right not to taste absolutely horrible and I'm always shocked at how 'expired' tin food is still edible (Yes I risked it. I was hungry darnit, and nothing happened after so win win)

Oh gawd he doesn't have a can opener. Shakesperean tragedy right there.

Nani? Music. OST music for the game? Hahahaha. Nice work with the game pop up window. There's lots of manhwa that do it quite well with perspective and everything and I instantly understood it when I saw it here haha.

I really want to see a shot of someone observing a pop up window and how awkward it looks haha.

Thank goodness MC knows the rules of the game. Wait, nani the pop up won't go away hahahahahaha.




Chapter 4




Like this cover title too and also he looks to be struggling bahahaha his friend is saying 'Dude dude the chest first! the chessst!'

Of all the other manga I think Omega Worlds' title and font pops out the most imo.

Oh gawd that popup is going to be annoying if it has to float there all the time.

It's rare to see an MC  reflect about not getting to say goodbyes. Sombre.

Hahaha the popup finally dissapeared. Lag? Oh gawd.

Hahaha medicinal herbs are not to be underestimated Darcie! They're like... Heroically difficult to gather. Who knows if you're getting poison ivy instead of peppermint?

Will has every right to be worried hahaha. But the twins have the perfect dynamic: One blows things up willy nilly and the other heals the collateral damage hahaha.

Pfft at the 'especially him!' panel. Look at his pout hahahahaha.

Aaaand now the MC worries about his life haha. I'd honestly tag along with them on the spot. There's worst first people to met in an alternate world.

One is taking him as an apprentice, the other is too polite to accept his company hahahaha.

 I've always wondered how much of effort is spared the MCs in other-worlds. Does the levelling system just buff them up so long as they meet requirements? Or do they have to physically feel that burn? I guess not, I suppose. Which is the fantasy element of things. Without breaking a sweat you can level up to be OP by doing something ridiculous and then you're super strong haha.

OOF. New story idea: An Olympic participant dies and goes to another world and is secretly a masochist about sport, but he finds he can't ever feel any strain doing sport and is slowly getting mad and depressed even as he becomes super OP: Masochistic Olympian in Another World Can't Feel The Burn! Heh.

One and only nit-pick because you probably noticed but a zoom out to show how far they're travelling in some sense would make the distance feel more tiresome. But in general backgrounds are nice. I just like in general how the paneling and shots really feel like the camera work you'd see in any typical visual media.

"I made the wrong decision! My life expectancy is dropping by the second!" Hahahahaha this panel is almost a meme. MCs' thought processes are not as neurotic as Rai from the other manga and are quite hilarious haha.

Case in point: 'That's very nice and Quest-like of it' XD

Darcie lighting the fire is totally because Dariel would blow it up right.

Her calling him Sir is indeed odd haha.

Dariel: Out like a light in 2 seconds. It's actually a very useful skill to have as a warrior. Gotta get those Zzs whenever you can.

Ah, Mana-exhaustion is usually fatal in other worlds.

'... From Manga and anime!" Hehehehehe.  I don't know why I'm thinking of memes but you could use these two panels to remix a lot of stuff.
"Where I come from we don't bow alot... But we've heard a lot of it a lot... FROM MANGA AND ANIME"
"Where I come from we don't have sushi... But we've heard of it a lot... FROM MANGA AND ANIME"
"Where I come from we don't believe in sitting at the back of the class to be cool, but we've heard ... e..tc"

Another deep panel with him dozing off (like when he regretted not saying goodbye." Interesting way to end the chapter. Would love a close up of the fire maybe too? But the emotion was well evoked. As usual like i said you definitely got emotions down to a pat. I understand how the characters are feeling in the situations they're in. Nice.
 

Chapter 5
That is one random looking skill tree haha

Nice first page. Also Darcie-chan is cute.  Also how comforteable/uncomforteable is it to sleep in grass? Gotta try that sometime haha.

Awesome shot of staring at the stars. In general props on selling that it's night-time with the tones and stuff. It's trickier than one thinks until they have to do it haha. No matter how much you try to tell the reader simple black and white is nighttime by in-scene contextual dialogue and stuff it just never works. Tones are necessary haha.

"I'm just not that sort of guy. I can't remake myself. I am who I am." That hits on a level. Relateable.

Learning magic would be fun haha.

It got updated hahahahahaha. What is the god doing with this game bahahaha is it an indie universe?

I felt the sense of triumph when he said 'It's voice activated!" Nice pose too haha.

Yessss skill tree.

Holy heck yessss he's OP an can just cast a spell just like that!
 
And yeah that's pretty much like holding a gun in your hands. Oh my word what if he has to describe something with spell words within them and they just activate at random. I wouldn't want to talk about the weather at all anymore haha.

Yeah that was definitely a mana problem.

Oh gawd no it wasn't, the system is definitely bugged bahahahahahaha what the heck! A bugged alternate universe hahahahaha.  Instead of Omega world it should be Alpha World haha.

Nice scene with the glowing herbs.  Peaceful.

Dariel woke up instantly like a Sir haha. How the heck can you be so chipper at the start!?
 
Pfft he can't afford a shovel hahahaha.

Aw, they only got seven. And holy heck 50? Damn that'll take a minute to harvest.

Yesss Will! I... Actually have no idea how to fix this problem so I'm curious.



Chapter 6



Will and Darcie mirroring their nervousness and exasperation is legendary hahaha.

Oh the string formation thing is interesting. Did you come up with this solution or did it just occur naturally to you? This reminds me of the interesting conondrum that CO02043F74B had to deal with to get out of the room in Et Cetera haha. Liked the mechanical puzzles and stuff.

Props to Willie. I really think if he had a passion that really worked for him he'd excel or at the very least feel content. I keep on thinking lately about that metaphor of the so-called Einstein quote of "“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”  I think in essence this is a huge problem in the world. People who would legitimately do 'menial' 'difficult' or 'odd' stuff with super excitement, excellence and happiness are forced into shapes that don't fit them (and I'm only generalizing, they can be super awesome stuff and everything but yeah the education of the world tends to judge things in a pretty mercilessly cold manner.)

"Hard work is part of being an Adventurer" Is legit advice and It's actually not as cheesy as it looks hahaha.

Liked the silent two panels of them working at pulling the plants. Understood the scene instantly so props oin imagery and narration.

Haha they're tired as heck. Aaaand hungry.

Nani!? How did you never pack any food hahahahahaha

They've 100% been travelling for way too long from place to place without going home. That being said they seem like pretty agreeable people the twins. I think they came from a peaceful hamlet or something. Or maybe they just had a really cool parentage despite a tragic homeland? Curious curious.

The backgrounds in Whispering Magic were s tronger but holy heck props on drawing sitting characters. I seriously hate trying to draw sitting figures and the poses worked out haha. Also in general across all of the comics you've posted you have a nice pacing and show of action. I can feel the flow of time and nothing feels too abrupt for a change up of a situation before the characters speak and stuff haha. Props.

Kawaii service-maid desu-nee (New random idea: A Neko-Cafe maid is actually a heavy metal guitarrist and a 'nerdy' book-worm at the same time in a teenage-life crisis hahaha.) I love how your manga inspires interesting thoughts. It's a good sign, suuper hehe

Ah, having no money is a problem of all world denizens, Will haha.

 Honestly, the twins are way too nice but Will also seems like a super chill dude who's even invested in moral goodness (judging by the way he regrets and is anxious about certain things). Even if he's super unsure about life (from his first world and second) I believe he counts as one of the 'good guys'

The purse was defo stolen! nuuuu

...... Darius-san.... You are way too broke. Also these three panels are officially in my top-list of hilarious comic/manga moments hahahahahaha just LOOK at them. They are tired hahaha

(Oh nuuu depressed Dariusss) But for real though not-affording a loaf of bread is an annoying level of brokeness that I have twice enjoyed: I will not recommend lel

Hey he could sell  de cash as a foreign exotic thing imo hehe

 Oh gawd I want to eat a mushroom pie (especially if it is literally a pie made of psycadelic (spelling?) mushrooms hahahah)

Hahahaha they left holes in the field

Nice background on the guild

Lorraine doesn't seem excited to meet Dariel hahaha

Chanting the spell that long must mean it's a high level spell? And holy heck he learns skills just by seeing them haha.



Chapter 7



Hey as far as nicknames go 'Genius Tactician' is pretty dope!

Oh I wonder if the Guild Master will show up in the next chapters. Curious about how powerful he is.

Wait why doesn't Darcie want to become an adventurer haha.

"I can see nothing but death at the end of this path!" Hahahaha a smart man. I mean, he died in his every day life I can't imagine he'd have more luck on the road.

Nice background shot outside the guild. You really have mastered drawing cities haha.

No moneyyy.

Ah. A stable hahaha.

Poor Darcie hahahaha.

Will gets the idea. But honestly I'd rather sleep outside... Unless the horses really aren't that smelly haha.

Build a car, Will! That being said do you think given enough time you could build a car suuper? Hahahaha.

Hahaha your alarm hasn't gone off. Although, the game system could technically have a digital watch in there somewhere... Bugged but yeah haha.

"I'm in a Stable in another World" Should be a light novel series name hahaha.

Dariel has a good heart huh. But yeah he should sat least learn to cast Fireball first hahaha.

Coffee doesn't exist!? This world is hopeless! Leave it Will! There's no life to be found here! Nothing worth living anyways hahaha.

Haha food shortage and no place to sleep shalt be the eternal curse of this unlikely trio haha.

'You didn't have to go far for anything' is almost too deep of a modern problem. Walking around isn't a thing anymore. You know exactly where everything is and head there without really taking in the sights and sounds... Or something like that.

And what an accident it was hahahaa.

Being an OP Farmer in another world with awesome skill memorization seems like a legitimately good way to live, Will haha. TBH I don't ever see him going out to defeat the demon king. I like the philosophical/introspective nature of this 'another world' manga. It's pretty chill but deep to get into. I'd definitely love more silent scenes and panoramas (backgrounds are on point in general but it would sell it even more if you splashed some pages or slowed down some moments between dialogue. In general I feel this mood though so props!

'It's just random houses here and there' hehehe is that meta-commentary per chance? Hahahaha. But it looks peaceful.

Oh gawd Darcie literally calls them 'Mother and Father'. This explains the 'Sir' too haha.

Darcies' mom looks very motherly and pops has no chill bahahahahahahahaha




Chapter 8



Dariel being obnoxiously happy-go-lucy on the cover title I see hahahaha.

"Baka!"

Of course the pops is super concerned with other peoples' well-being too. Honestly Dariel is totally his son before whatever wake-up-call his pops got. I wonder why he needs a cane...

He did save you Will... But between that and the accidental explosions it was a close one. And I suppose Dariel is totally self-taught? I imagine his magic disfunction has to do with his father being a bit overprotective and not really equipping him with proper magic and adventurer training? Just a guess haha.

Aw poor Dariel. I think his pops is too hard on him. I felt that rumble.

"A very far away place" hahahaha the mans' literally died. I couldn't come up with a better explanation.

Wait they don't know what toast is!? This world is officially hell.

Ah that explains the fathers' timidness what with the family being one of healers haha.

Ah that explains Mr. Langfords' trauma. But it must be a competent family to get enough visits for him to want to raise his son that way. Still, I wonder why Dariel never learnt healing magic and how they're still in a humble village if it's a family tradition. The daughter at the very least seems real good at spells at her age so I imagine the parents are even better? Either way respect to this super cool family haha.

"You can't save people if you're dead!" Is an interesting statement. I want to have a counter-argument but to be honest it's a perspective that requires a little bit of dialgue to reply to correctly. In this sense I respect Pops' decision to raise his children in the way he has haha.

I feel bad that Dariel has been left out of the whole conversation, and have the feeling Will is one of the first people Mr. Langford has been able to at the very least express himself to properly in a long time. Tis is why travelling and having visitors is an important thing to have in life, you get to have different opions from totally different people '(not necessarily people who've died in another world but yeah haha)

Working hard and not feeling fulfilled is the worst feeling ever I tell you sir. Also ANOTHER deep sentence from Will. Honestly I wasn't sure but either this or Et Cetera are my favourite manga for extreme reasons of hilarity vs. interesting thoughts (And both have elements that each other have so interesting)

Nani a patient? WILL HEAL HER. Ah. Will WILL heal her! I hope.

Mr. Langford has a lot of pride and definitely understand where Dariel gets his over-the-topness hahahaha.

Ah I knew he wanted to be an adventurer!

This family is too wholesome haha.

Punishment was harsh but pops really does care for his fam haha.

Seeing Dariel being calm and apologetic is off-putting, but the dude definitely has a heart haha.

No no no, Mr. Langford: YOU are the strange one for being too nice haha. I'd definitely feel like Will in such a situation .

Aw I wanted more random scenes after the wood chopping like for food prep and stuuuuff. This is the time where montages are necessary hahahaha.

Feeling for Wills' appreciation of the rents. The Langfords are seriously coolbeans haha.

Happy ending to the chapter.





 Chapter 9




You're facing the wrong way, Will! For once Dariel is actually pointing at the target hahahaha.

What the heck is up with this update even? Bahahaha this is totally a noob programmer who's in charge of this universe. Poor Will haha. At least he got to wake up early because of it.

Ah Will  I'd really suggest enmeshing yourself with the family. Either that or at least living in the village. I honestly think the adventurer life isn't for him.

Hahahaha the lazy Dariel sleep pose is perfect hahahaha. And are the chickens normal chickens or fantasy chickens from another world? WILL. HELP THE COOL FAMILY hehehe

Oh thank goodness theres' eggs on toast at least... There's hope for this world at least haha. Also props on this scene (and in general I've never felt lost about the change of scenes and flow of time in your manga across the board so props man)

"Leave the man alone! He hasn't finished eating!" Is a quote for ages hehe. Never disturb a man by his Breakfast! Or meal! Grrrr. Haha.

Wait healing doesn't work on old injuries? What's that about? I need to hear the full story even because it means he got injured and wasn't nearby people who could heal him 1. Because he was in a remote area and trying to be a solo adventurer or 2. (A bit sinister) He couldn't afford adventurer fees or stuff and couldn't get a healer in time even though he was nearby people who could help... I hope Will can still heal him somehow - it'd OP but I'm okay with that. Mr. Langford is a gent.

I wonder what 'D.I.Y' is in japanese hahahaha. And yeaup it's quite interesting to realize that term really is a modern phenomena haha.

Will is the perfect foil to Dariel following this conversation, and yessss my wishes are fulfilled with the small-talk during the chores and stuff like I wished for earlier. Nice scene suuper helps build character and is interesting to read hehe.

Hey Will he isn't wrong: When you're strong everywhere is indeed safe haha.

"BECAUSE OF ANIME AND MANGA" Meme. Let it be a meme pleaseeee

"Yes you would!" Mr. and Mrs. Langford have the same simultaneous response dynamic as their twins hahahaha 

Wait Dariel trains? And yes I wish I had a hideout at all. Never came around to it unfortunately. Maybe in my next life as a hamburger? That'd be fun.

Oh the chapter title fits the theme of this one. Time for Will to show how OP he is hehehehe.

He looks way too pleased by the title of 'Master' hahahahahaha

I think Will is literally skipping all of these 3 requirements because cheat codes hahaha. But interesting. (Also I wonder how different this magic system is in comparision to that of Whispering Magics' universe? )

... You missed Dariel... Master Dariel dono I mean... But still... You missed

"He recovered from missing the target!" I share this amazement at how he can bounce back from such stuff too hahahahahaha.

Wait can you make the incantation in your mind or does it need to be vocalized?

Oh gawd I expected something epic Will... Literally nothing happened hahahaha.

Ah wait he's getting the hang of it hahahaha. Like this sequence btw.

Ah! Whispering magic parallel at least with the runes thing: Visualization is super important to magic making and stuff hehe.

Will found a solution! Heck yessss time for some levelling up hehe.




Chapter 10




Will going HAM on the science of magic and Dariel KNOWING the poor man has gone mad hahahahahaha. Omega World chapter titles are also my favs along with Whispering Magic. Really set up the manga in a way hehe.

Epic scene

Holy hallelujah Mushroom Cloud Fireball!!

They're both shocked as I am hahahahaha.

Wait Dariel isn't even remotely jealous or anything! This dudes' heart is too pure hahaha.

Fireballs are indeed cool haha.

Asking the important questions, Will. His aim is ridiculously bad. It never hits the target and as a gag that works but what's the real reason?  Curious.

Wait how does it answer the question hahahaha. I know  Dariels' all over the place but he technically does do stuff he puts his heart too. My most-likely-wrong-theory is as someone raised as a healer and put down by the good-hearted pops he doesn't really want to be attacky in his spell-casting so he subconsciously avoids being effective in his attacks hehhe.

That panel of Will and Dariel running contentedly is more heart-warming and hilarious than it should be hahaha. Their expressions speak to themselves so well. I could imagine that as a literal no commented 2 minute scene where you only hear them 'thump thumping' through the forest with those lazy stressed expressions as they head home hahaha. Like I said backgorunds are on point here too but I'd love more splash pages for this manga for sure. Quiet and scenery would put this on top-notch level for sure hehe. Fun ride in general and props, suuper.

Time is a relative thing, Sir Langford haha.

Dariel dutifully chopping things is also a scene I haven't been able to show in ages: You're real good at showing 'progress' scenes already and a panel like that is more time investement than one thinks. This is why I love manga and you show you understand that aspect of showing singular moments in the middle of the flow of the story. Western-comic telling is so dialogue and exposition heavy (and definitely has its place i.e tops manga in certain occurences) but the essence of manga is showing singular moments properly in the middle of flow (The rolling water bottle from Et Cetera is still one of my favs) but yeah good stuff.

"Potential for destroying forests" pfft.

I really like how wholesomely supportive Dariel is about WQill haha.

WILL NO DONT HEAL

Dariel is such a bro he lets a bleeding cut sting so he can support a bro. I need a bro like this hehehe. Seriously good hearted family haha.

HE DID GREATER HEALING. IT FLASHED TOO BRIGHT EVEN HAHAHAH AWESOME BUT NUUU WILL YOUVE OFFICIALLY CROSSED THE RUBICON HAHA
Aaaand I am thankful for once that this is not exactly a cliff-hanger because I want to know what happens in the next chapter for sure haha.



Chapter 11




Nice perspective shot on this cover title dude. Cool as heck and I really want to eat what they're eating haha.

Class A Curse? Nanii!?

NUUUU WILL DONT DIE AGAIN

Oh gawd did he die again and visit a new world?

Ah, he's still alive.

WILL HEALED MR. LANGFORD. HECK YES

Greater healing is awesome. It's like, the best possible sort of collateral damage haha.

I mean it's buggy as hell but I think it's trying to help him... Seriously though I wish there was directer explanation as to what exactly is happening hahaha. Either Will is responsible or the 'God' is incompetent hahaha.

Father and Son are seriously super supportive and curious it's too heart-warming. I was hoping for that hahaha. May the Langfords live many many many generations haha.

Yeah he totally wasn't hiding it haha

Will has officially recived a quest hahahahaha.

Dariel nervously agreeing to his fathers' admonitions is such a fun funny panel hahahahaha. Dat finger gesture is a universal gesture haha.

The Langfords are too trusting. Haruhi bless the haha.

YES BECOME ONE WILL. I was on the fence to be honest but I think he can at the very least be the best support for Dariel ever hahaha.




Chapter 12



Will looking stocked and ready for action: But seriously uncomforteable in this armour hahahahahahahahahaha. I think all the chapter title pages are my favourite for Omega World for sure haha. TheY're just fun and that word-logo play works too well hehe.

Dinner is much more important than registering for an adventurer hehe

Yesss Darcie is inpsired haha. Love the family dynmanic.

Also it took too long of a time but Mr- Langford reminds me of Jake

Also, I wonder how old the Langford family name is haha

Nice scene with the stars.

Oh bro, I believe Slime is the worst of your worries Will hahahaha. And to be honest I don't trust how bugged the system is, that's an entire storyline in of itself hahahaha.

"What even is a hero?" Is also a deep question that I can't unironically answer hahaha. 'A person who saves people in need?' 'Someone who puts others over themselves?' Really like Wills' monologues haha.

Dariels' definition is a bit optimistic, but super on point hahahaha. And also I appreciate that he isn't too naive to see that Will is 'one of a kind'

Will will finally have purpose! Yesssss. Really happy for him.

I'm super curious as to what exactly the music is from the settings hahaha. Good for you though, WIll, good for you.

Nice scene of him packing and I'm curious about the sick gal. Seriously the icing on the cake for this manga would be more silent scenes especially because you've got backgrounds and emotional transmission down to a pat suuper. Props and really enjoy the dialogue and storyline and everything but it shines even more from the quiet moments hehe.

Will does indeed look super weak hahahhaa. Wear a cape already bro!

 (Also liar you can totally use all magic WIll haha)

Millions of adventurers? Wait nevermind he only guessed haha.

Like the panel of the trio heading out. Would live lighting effects too hehe.

Also the Langford parents are too supportive and awesome and I wish them all the best haha.

 Darcie will totally literally write a lot of letters haha.

REMAKE YOURSELF WILL. I'm glad of his character development. And to be honest he had no chance with such earnest and kind company haha.

'And full stomachs' Yesss finally hahaha.

AND NUUUU THE ADVENTURE ENDED. I HAVE QUESTIONS AND CURIOUSITIES DAMMIT




--

Is the game bugged or not? Will will become a legendary adventure or settle for something more humble? How was the girl so badly injured and will Will ('Will Will' is offically one of my favourite question-sentences now) ever meet her again? Will Will ever truly explain the nature of his appearance? Is this world in need of saving or is the Hero-System as simple as 'Hiring people who can help the world' Will Will need to face a demon lord or something or is he going to be OK? What of his original world? Does he even want to return? Gaaaaaaaah.

Nice manga, suuper haha.

Relate too well to Lorraine haha

NUUU THE MONEH GOT RIPPED. Waiiit. What kind of bill was it? I once tried to rip an old-school one-dollar bill on a bet and it was super hard hahaha (didn't even pull it off)

Glowing herbs: Almost as bad as  cellphones in the dark.

Status screen insomnia is too underestimated in life in another world haha

I would sleep so many many miles away from a shelf of explosions in the care of Dariel: Yes offence darnit!!!

Rock paper- FIST

Oh gawd how do you flip an egg into making a new anime-protagonist-hairstyle hahahahahaha Dariel

The moment Dariel regrets a decision is the moment you should pray to all your gods. Also slicing up a slime should totally be a problem that happens to an OP character down the line that undererstimates their enemy and causes problems instead of solutions hahahaha.


Really not much to say in general other than: Awesome stuff Suuper. I literally cannot compute how you managed to pull of this feat of juggling so much manga at the same time and am damn proud of you man. Props and keep at it. I really would like to see a sort of conclusion to this and Et Cetera (And Whispering Magic if possible?) but in general trust your gut and I think you've definitely achieved your objectives of output, quality control and flow. The rest is just a matter of fine-tuning and doing what you like.

Unsolicited advice? Go for indie comic publishing and try to find internet domains to post your webcomics and stuff. And also I'd die for WIPs because it'd interest me so much how you managed to churn out so much content in so short of time.

Freaking frakking good stuff, man 
And may the Langfords live forever haha

7
Members Manga / Re: Whispering Magic [Prototype]
« on: July 30, 2021, 04:15:41 AM »
HOLY HECK YOU ACTUALLY PRINTED IT DUDE AND EVERYTHING. (Seeing this in the other threads too.) How did you edit the binding and stuff? That's so cool dude I'd really love to experience this feeling some day hehe. Props!

Btw how much would you theoretically sell one of these volumes? When I'm flush I'd love to order one!



Chapter 4
Mr Soren is indeed strong. Look at that defense spell haha



Chapter 5


Loving these chapter covers across the board with your manga. How did you do the boarders? High quality stuff suuper.
Scary demon voice is scary
Kids can really be bullies. Don't blame them when she doesn't save your butts from a horrible fate!
I wish schools let people who happen not to have grasps on basic concepts let them have 'catch up library sessions' like that. Supervised of course in a sense but a sort of 'in-school homework' where they can freely go tackle something that's bothering them. Or maybe even an on-call tutor? Being dragged along with the best-achievers of the class is an eternal pain that shall always hold people back imo.
Haha Rosterhart is a cool name
Theory: Runes are a stop-gap measure to access mana! Real magic is just done fluidly hehehe (Wait, this might have already been pointed out in earlier chapters but I haven't read in a minute so forgive meh)
Love the backgrounds dude. As always I know where the character is and where they're going. Cool persp shots that don't feel repetitive. Great work with emotions too I can feel her nervousness as she looks for the library.
Pfft broom closet.
Love that library shot!
Oh, I think this is the first old lady I've saeen you draw haha. Like how realistic she looks.
Also I need me a 'beginners' book in my life. All creative endeavours have stagnated so badly I need something to motivate me into my usual flow haha. (Stick figures time mwahahahaha)
Do people have to be good at mechanical drawing to construct magic circules?
HAHAHA THAT TABLE REMINDS ME OF KANJI AND KATANAKA. I can feel the horror and pain but interest too.
Gambate, Serenity-chan



Chapter 6


Great covers as always man. Love her outfit.
I forgot the setting and stew felt like such a weird thing for a moment then I remembered its a magical medieval sort of era? Would be cool to see a modern magic school (Definitely done before but my head is inspired. Or wait - Futuristic magic school haha! Where high tech is actually magic. A sort of twist on Arthur C. Clarkes' statement)
These b *cough* how dare they cast dispel on her!
Oh gawd people not hanging out because of grades. Wait does 'gradeism' exist irl? Wouldn't put it past hoomans haha.
Poor Serenty.
Oh gawd Warren Black is totally a protagonist name. Side Story nowwww
Ruby Swift isn't too bad.
And of course Serenity wants to be a healer. Very peaceful heart-warming expression and panel haha.



Chapter 7


Oh oh... A chapter called 'Difficult Magic' When Serenity is already having trouble doesn't bode well for her haha.
Warrens' teaching me literal life advice with the learning thing *takes note*
Naniiiii How did Shoren get in trouble for such a huge defensive spell
Really great background shots again and I like how the conversations really flow in your panels haha.
I... Don't think her affinity is anything haha. OP SERENITY LEVEL UP AND GOOO
HAHAHA I KNEW IT
Lel Ruby didn't know it was a light spell.
Rai the introvert and Serenity the shy gal. Healing squad goooo



Chapter 8


Totally. Ignored. Daamn Rai.
Did you plan out the map for this world? Curious
Hehe Sam would be a good repair mage in this world. But wait, what  element is repairing magic?
Gawd this foster family is the worst.
Jeez he called her useless. What the hell man.
Oh wait it's not just a circle its separated by dashes. Like Morse code? That's merciless haha.
OH I HATE THESE TWO. How dare you slap herrrr. Warren, teach her a fire-spell. I don't mind there being an accident for them grrr
'Wasting food like that' Gawd I'm pissed.
Hell yesss repair spelllllllll! Goooo Serenity! (Nice work with the paneling as she repaired it. In an anime I could totally hear an inspiring soundtrack going along.)
Determined Serenity GOOOO



Chapter 9


Awesome city shot.
Aaaan of course they're not thankful for the repair job.
Did you use lighter lines/ Opacity this time btw? Somehow cleaner and easier on the eyes? Dunno why. Reminds me of pencil.
Wait she feels remorse? Looks like they're hope for the black heart yet. But what the hell with the slapping and calling her useless dammit!
AND SHES ONLY HAPPY BECAUSE SHE SAVED MONEY. I'll be cautiously optimistic that there's hope for them.
OK even he apologized so I'll take it at face value... For now grrrr. How dare you abuse poor Serenity.
The 'But not so much that you collapse' Convinced me.
Oh gawd this dude with his fireballs can go eat charcoal. He's good at what he does though.
Two faced bastid claiming to help her up. (Also it's amazing how teachers only ever come when there's a hint of retribution to bullies. Unfortunate truth in life too)
Grrrrr people putting other people down just irks me. If you're so elite wouldn't you at the very least not care about someone performing miserably? Why do they need to go up to them? Insecure idjits.
Ohohoho if only they knew who her grandma was.
The absolute silence is beauty to my ears.
I predict they'll either 1- Suck up to her because of her heritage or 2 - Laugh at her for her current struggles. Either way they suuuuck.



Chapter 10


The Seeking witch being surprised by Serenity tells me she's really going to be a legend if she keeps on honing her magic haha.
'I hope i'll have enough time.' Old age? Or something worse?
Aaaand they're laughing at her.
Serenity really is strong.
'Good Results. That's all that matters.' Reminds me of a panel in Black Clover where pretty much the same was said. Funny enough (and hypocritcally enough.) ... I agree. At a certain point there's got to be some result from effort, otherwise something is wrong (Big self-oof that one, but yeah.)
Hahahaha 'Power and guts' showed up again. Joshua is that you?
Literally everyone was giving a negative answer. No one even said go to the library or something haha.
Honestly though The Seeking Witch could've at least written a letter, given her a guardian or told her 'Magic should be freely used without runes.' I feel the hurdles Serenity is going through unless she was orphaned or something aren't worth the struggle. Tis is how villains are made haha.
Damn that's an almost Finding Waldo level of background work hahaha how long did it take? Great pages man. Is it adouble page spread or a single?
Oh nvm lol I scrolled down. Impressive work man!
Don't follow the voice with the black baloooons!
Man how can so many people be douches in this school. At this point even Rais' indifference makes him a saint.
"Warren doesn't have bad friends! That means you're a good person!" Is the sweetest thing ever. Poor Serenity.
Ah- It came through!
Yesss heart-warming ending.



Chapter 11


2 spells in one. Interesting stuff. And I wonder if you can enchant and object with healing properties haha. Healing water, healing medallion e.t.c
Serenity grasped why it's 2 spells in one. Nice.
"It burns without getting burnt!"
And hahahaha he ignored the 'burn' the teacher said by 'Look, even REAVER can make a working enchantment"
But wait, wouldn't that be 3 enchantments that he did? Like making the block fire-resistant too or something?
At this point I really am at the 'Results matter' stage because she's really, really slow at this point haha. Just use magic as you learnt it, Serenity! Repair! Pull water and stuff hehe.
Wait has she cast a spell in class since the beginning?  I can understand if according to her standards she's improved tremendously though.
The teacher is starting to notice Serenity is quite quite special hehehe.
Anna standing up for them? Yessss
YES TELL THEM ANNA.
"I think she's a good person too' hahaha.
Rai wants to talk but... Can't lel hahahaha.  Wonder what he wants haha.


Chapter 12


Oh gawd his head is like a motormouth hahaha.
HOLY HECK BLACK LIGHTNING. Aaaaaaah I should've known with a name like Rai! Holy heck protagonist vibe there too. Warren vs. Rai let's gooooo
Oh gawd that's a conundrum, wanting to be a healer with black lightning. I was totally like the class just now expecting him to be combat based. I'm as guilty as them. But hey, electricity is useful in medicine, just gotta figure out the dosage and situations that arise.
Rai is super studied too hehe awesome.
And he wanted to help Serenity! He's also super kind haha.
Oh gawd he was only buried in his book! Rai you gotta talk more man I totally misjudged you dude!
OH GAWD HIS OVERANALYSIS hahahahahahaha
"That's too difficult!"
*Facepalm* Dude no don't write a letter hahahahahaha.
Lel he wrote the letter a week ago. I just can't with this guy bahahahahahaha
YOU DID IT RAI, PROUD OF YOU.
I really don't think runes are the way for you Serenity.
'The mana... MAY IT FLOW' YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS IS THE MOMENT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR
But nuuu it isn't the magic she wanted indeed.
And holy heck is she literally able to communicate with Mana and stuff. OP, Dangerous and super cooool.

Hehehe Bonus Chapters for the win

She is really lucky to be there pfft
Serenity, this school is made up of not-normal people... You included ! (In a good way hahaha)
'Even though they're nobles, they're not noble.' Honestly, historically how many noble nobles are there? I mean they look noble but none particularly inspire 'Ooh, cool dude.'
Oh nuuuu hair problems hahaha. Learn magic to keep the hair down hahahaha.
A past book worm has found a victim. Wish I had a librarian like that when I was younger. GIMME. BOOKS.
Rai is too precious, and the both of them are too perfect bahahahahaa.
Best friends fight like this. It's fact bahahaha.
SHE GOT LOST IN THE CUPBOARD AGAIN HAHAHAHAHA


Phew holy heck duuuude I just can't even with the amount of output you've done. And this isn't even the last manga. I was super invested in seeing Serenitys' arc continue and the set up for the ring and the angry storm, but I understand it's a prototype.

Props on the backgrounds, the characterisations and the magic system feels quite solid and explored. I love the flow of dialogue in this especially for some reason. Weird comparision but it's like Et Cetera except without the gags where replies feel natural and flow from one to the other.

Many props again, suuper!

8
Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIVAL!!!
« on: July 30, 2021, 03:26:11 AM »
Day 2 - Mercury Wakes

Mercury collapsed in of itself, vanishing bit by bit over the space of a week as scientists and astrologers alike went into a frenzy. This was the omen of a bad time coming, and indeed, a week later a malevolent gray smokey knight, his hair a long ponytail, his blade able to cut through all the conventions of mans' greatest technologies: Shields, anti-grav guns, rail guns, teleportparticles. Nothing worked, and in the space of a month 10 Million souls were lost.
Gregory stood recording the knights' progress as he decimated New Orleans. His wife always said going in with a camera was outdated, suicide, but it had been one of the fewest pleasures of being a journalist - going out in the field, risking yourself for a story. And now he was doomed.

Well, he'd get a post-humous prize for this shot for sure. Sitting on a skyscraper that was on the verge of collapse, he recorded everything in high definition and streamed it live as the screaming knight mowed down droids, police officers and the creme-de-la-creme of anti-terrorist fighters. The famous Mangrove Pendrove - Respoble for single handedly shutting down New Korea during the Island wars -  lost his hands and then his head in two swoops of a blade.

The smokey knight looked to the heavens and screamed. It revebrated through the air, pulsing in its sonic intensity.
Then the knight looked up, then right directly at the lens of where Gregory was recording. Gregory swore under his breath. This was it.

The knight vanished from view and appeared beside Gregory, silver blade out, right at Gregorys' neck. Gregory swallowed a bit, the sharp blade drew blood - so close it was.

"Y-you..." He gathered himself, "Why are you here?"

As if the mute alien invader would suddenly speak. He thought to himself.

The knight tilted his head, then with a voice that sounded extremely tortured and in pain,

"Who... Made... Me."

Gregory couldn't believe his ears.

"What?"

"Who..." The knight screamed. Gregorys' headset cut out the harmful frequencies, but his nose started bleeding, "WOKE ME UP. I WAS. A PLANET. I AM. MERCURY. WHO. MADE. MEEEE... LIIIIVE."

"I- I don't understand."

The knight - Mercury? - stabbed his blade in the ground and grabbed the camcoder, speaking directly into it,

"I will decimate this planet in 87 days until I find out who is responsible. Mark my words."

It was the calmest he ever spoke, and with an alien sob, the knight jumped off the building and vanished into the sky, a sliver of silver light.

Gregory recorded it all. His pants soiled from fear, but alive, and in awe.


***

And in Area 52 a bunch of scientists clapped as they drank champagne, glad of their progress.
Dr. Samokov raised a glass for a toast, "To sentient planets, and a future of humanity across the stars."

"Hear hear!" A drunk scientist shouted in the back, and they all laughed, and drank.

9
Manga Writer workshop / Re: WRITING SURVIVAL!!!
« on: July 29, 2021, 05:03:48 AM »
I'm going to try for a 3 day streak. And wowee am I all over the place. All I can say now is thanks for the feedback hahaha and your insights are spot on. I'll get back to them very very later. Totally out of wack with lots of things happening left and right, but I'll be back when I get stuff sorted.

 
Day 1 -  Two Lions

"I have a deal for you." The man said. Sunglasses, blonde, fuzzy hair that once upon a time had belonged to a positively Olympian man. Now he was dressed like a small mine-town worker, leather jacket, with the distinct aura of someone just passing through.

Thomas had no idea why he was talking to him.

"Excuse me?"  Tom shrank back, mortified by his auto-anxious postures, but realizing he objectively did not like the insensity the man radiated, like being near a sick fever patient.

"I said." The man leaned over, invading Toms' space again, "I have a deal for you."

"A deal."

The man smirked, "I'm going on a killing spree, starting from this diner. I'll put a bullet in that sweet pretty waitress -Susie right? Nice smile. Then I'll gun down that grandpa over there yonder. I'll take a knife to the couple in the booth, just to make the media hungry for more, you know?"

Tom blinked. The man continued. His voice was not a whisper at all, but low enough to hide itself under the clatter of dishes, the other conversations. Susie was bubbly as she brought an extra refill for Frank, the 'granpa' the man was planning on killing.

The man leaned back with a smirk, "I reckon one more mass shooting after this one I'll become a fugitive, and I'll string the feds along for a couple of months before you - Heroic smart Samaritan, turn me in for a large bounty."

Tom blinked.

The man smiled, "It's going to happen to me anyway, you know. Landing in jail. I figure I might as well make it interesting. I'll have plenty of time to find God and read all the books and comics I'd ever need. Heck, I could run a business given enough decades, and then, out of compassion at the very last moment maybe I'll get a parole. Ther'll be water works, redemption story arc. Beautiful, and all you have to do is remember the number I give you, so that when I'm ready you help me get captured."

Tom blinked. Tom pulled out his snub-nosed revolver and depressed the trigger. The man's smile managed to turn into a bewildered smirk before he was blown away. The pistols' report was more of a crack than a deafening boom, but everyone in the diner heard soon enough.

Tom smiled as the white checkered porcelein tiles pooled with blood, and he drowned out the screams, the hub-bub, the crash.

They thanked him as a hero. Self defence. Good guy with a gun. The man was identified as a nut, all his computers siezed. There'd been worse plans than he'd related to Thomas. Everyone in town was thankful. The news cycle was intense and he barely had enough time to get into his room.

When he did Tom looked at his war-board. The hit-list. From Susie who'd insulted him when he was 7 years old, feeding him a cat-poop sandwich to Frank, the man who'd beaten him bloody just for accidentally breaking his window. All faces of the familiar sleepy town, all the target of his revenge.

His father would've been the last one. He still had the cigarette burn marks on the length of his right arm. 'Ashtray' his beloved dad called him. Used to, at least.

Tom shook his head as he tore down the war board, packed it up in plastic bags, let sleeping dogs lie.

10
Members Manga / Re: Eclipse [Prototype]
« on: July 28, 2021, 06:52:10 AM »
Pretty cool sketches too.

Here is my readthrough so far and holy heck dude your output is always so amazing. I'll get to your other manga in due time but props.

Suuper Eclipse Mega Review
Spoiler
Chapter 3

Dressing up scene pretty cool. Also like her pouty 'hmph' face haha.

The physics of your comics is cool stuff. A small detail like a bottle tipping over and rolling is nicely executed in 3 panels. I feel there should've been an eye-opening gesture of some sort though for when he heard the noise.

And hahahaha Emily in a gang would work for some reason. I always like moe-kind of characters surrounded by ridiculously punky types haha. Biker gang for the win!

"I'm a criminal now!" This guys' standards are so on point I actually felt how exasperated he is by being forced into this situation haha.

Memory erasure can be a super dark power in the wrong hands. Pretty nifty ability in general security-wise haha.

Joshua looks like he needs more than that coffee hahahaha.

Whaaat how can people think this base isn't cool enough!? Blind, the lot of them!

I was with Emily with the 'yes please!' bit. Props on showing emotion so well too suuper.

And I know this sort of training room is a standard troupe in media but this strongly reminded me of an anime... I barely remember anymore. Gah which one was it. There were robots and stuff. It was a fun action sequence too.

Jake the shadowy figure dun dun duuuun. Emily is nervous as heck, but I can understand. Dude is huuuge.



Chapter 4

Phew his expression turning out to be kind really put me at ease haha.

And ooof that is a bit of a... erm low-power ability hahahaha. Well, he makes up for it with brawn, and for recon it can be super useful too. I wonder if there's more nuance to his detection, can he sense for example how powerful someone is?

Pfft he technically did ask some questions there hahahaha.

The team really feels welcoming.

I wonder if Sam can repair organic material. Could be used as a cheat healing ability haha.

OH NO I KNEW JAKE WOULD FIND HIM OUT

Nuuuuuuu the secret is out.



Chapter 5

Oof now that I think of it hiding the ability for years is pretty high level secret-keeping haha.
And wowee Emily is more powerful than I thought. And 'Not again' means she defintely went through something like this in the past huh. I see.
Jake all nonchalantly floating hahahaha.
Hahahah the zero-grav shenanigans. Poor R. But yesss I love that sort of ability. If he's good at hand to hand combat it could really be a trump card against other ability users haha.
She cutely fell asleep after healing everyone haha. Nice.
Sam is always so logical about his thought process. And yeah R is perfect for this kind of situation as well. Plus the healing if anything really goes awry. Emily is in good hands methinks.
Hey the market value of that chair went up by being repaired haha! And I didn't know he could shatter things too. That's cool.
Oh hoooo Jake has sensed how strong he is hehe.
Sams' suspicious pointing finger expression was on point haha. And Jake is too likeable haha. I think the siblings are in good hands.



Chapter 6

Oh gawd their parents abandoned them. Oddly enough I was 'hoping' (wrong word) they'd gone on a mission or something or even died protecting their children? Weird hope to have but abandonment just sucks.  Or maybe they were just worried and really did leave to find a way to protect them? One can hope.
Also Sam is a good bro.
Hahaha Jake has found a new handyman (But I bet he's invested in having Sam level up his ability too)
Emily being in a good mood put a smile on my face.
Oh gawd the slice ability is some seriously dangerous stuff. It's in good hands since Sam is so logical and kind. Wouldn't want to imagine it in the hands of a jerk.
Having to say the command is an interesting limitation. (And yes, Sam, you are now Handyman Sam the Repairman hahaha)
'This isn't even your final form' Hahahaha. But I have a feeling between that and Jakes' comment this is true.
Also Emilys' blush is too cute.
And also Sam is too cool of a big bro.




Chapter 7
Nice establishing shot
Laura is kawaiii
Pfft I THOUGHT EMILY JUST SPILLED ALL THE BEANS ON THE SPOT hahahahaha. It would be so much like her.
They read you like a book Emily. Keep the secret!
You're 110% being suspicious Emily haha.
Awww Laura wants to tell them, but alas, dem the rules haha. I bet Laura has one though!
They looked so serious around the table till Jake broke the ice haha. He's always so cheerful.
'What are you posing for!" bahahaha I was asking the same thing. Wonder how the test would go and yes please don't light fires underground what of the oxygen supply haha.



Chapter 8
Great chapter title cover (In general all of them are pretty nifty. Props)
"They downed it in one shot!" Hahahahaha I've seen people like that. Like bro like sis haha.
Oh gawd they exploded!
Like how they're reacting in tact to the situation but holy heck man people almost died. Don't play with fire near explosions goshdarnit.



Chapter 9
Jake is über strong.
And I guess them glowing with one eye each means they're supposed to work together to fulfill the potential of their powers haha.
INB4 Sam shall climb the ranks along with Annabel.
Seriously though that was super dangerous.
Sam and Emily really were impressive with their rescue haha. They didn't freak out at all.
'Small misunderstanding' I would be pissed there too haha.
Honestly at such an incident if my sibling were in trouble I'd nope out of there real quick. That level of incompetence is ridiculous hahaha. Train Emily on your own Sam!



Chapter 10
Sam is too smart to fall for your lies, Emily hahaha. And he really might be leading the base himself at this point. I'd vote for him for sure haha.
And I know the feel about homework Emily... Too well *sob*
'I'll wipe their memories and send them home!" Was said with such cheery optimism but woweee I'm terrified of her ability haha. You literally can't do anything if she gets the drop on you, even if you're combat based haha.
'It was a lot of water though!?" Hahahah I see the gag sides are in this manga a lot too. Good stuff.
Jake is a cooler guy than I thought, and makes sense he literally helped war orphans and stuff. Bet he's military or something haha.
Wait the room is full of nanomachines? Jeez Eclipse is better funded than I thought. I keep on underestimating it because of how young and inexperienced its members seem haha.
Wait I thought Jake could only detect!? Holy heck lasers!?
WAIT HE HAS SIX ABILITIES!? OK i'll never underestimate him again hahaha. I totally thought he was underpowered.
 Jake is OP. Awesome.
250 KG is a cool weight to be able to lift. Also I wonder how the nanomachines gain their weight. Density shifting I guess? Love that tech forever.

Nani that's not her ability!?


Chapter 11

GRAVITY YESSS
And the explanation of visualization makes sense.
And love the technicality of how careful to be when lifting things telekinetically.
Oh oh the eye contact thing can be a problem if she wants to defend the base haha. Can someone just wear sunglasses?
And oh yes this also means she can add gravity to objects too right? GOOO EMILY.
"The secret is confidence! And imagination!" A motivating quote for the ages haha.
"With willpower and guts!" Hahahaha
I wanted to cheer for her when she started floating hahaha. Nice scene.
"What if I had been making a coffee!?" This woman understands priorities hahaha.
Technopathy is awesome too.
"The Raging Stars" Hahahaha it almost sounds cheesy, but I bet they've got muscle to back it up. And wait, is the boss nervous? He's sweating while saying 'They'll regret it!"

Chapter 12

Annabel industrious as ever. Sweeping leaves and stuff haha.
And nice erasure
They chloroformed herrrrrrr. NUUUUUU. STOOOOP. DONT KIDNAP HER. Also what the heck where are the security cameras! Someoneeee
Oh gawd Eclipse really needs to be careful if they can be found out this easily haha. I share Sams' frustration.
Hahaha they got wiped in a few moves haha.
The brother sister duo is on the case. Prepare to feel paiiin!

Bonus Chapter
Hahaha you did 4komas like they do on mangas as well. Holy heck 12 chapters dude. This really is enough for a volume.
Pffft poor Sams' ability is too interesting to not ssee used.
Sam noticed hahahaha.
Emilys' convoluted answer has left me twisted haha.
Luck!? Hahahaha
Oh gawd he burnt the entire kitchen. And the other dude is worried about his pie hahahahaha. Priorities.
And I'd cheat like that too especially at Jenga.
The base really needs to update its secret-keeping protocols lel
Hey adding mud really does enhance the feeling hahahahaha.

11
Members Manga / Re: Et Cetera [Prototype]
« on: July 02, 2021, 07:08:14 AM »
Chapter 3
Spoiler
Was so confused by the panelling for a second until I realized it was right to left. Instantly fixed my disquiet 'hm?' something is off here haha. It's amazing how flow determines how a story is to be read. In that aspect good stuff.

Totally stealing the proportions for chairs and tables because I need this hahahaha. It's ridiulous how hard they are to draw right. That plus with characters interacting.

Oh noooo poor CO02043F74B got stuck hahah.

And the death of the chair for the sake of a book... There's some life lesson in there somewhere.

Manga as a 'Complex encoding of information' is the most complementary form of the genre ever. What was he reading by the way? Looked action packed.

Chuckled at 'The Demon Lord has kidnapped the princess!' haha

'IT'S FOOLPROOF' is now my officail monicker for convoluted plans that will go wrong hahaha. Nice gag you found there suuper. All in all this chapter is really having me chuckling. You're good at this slapstick comedy.

*Chaos in the room, completely destroyed'

"I was searching for information... And I got stuck'

Pfft. Great chap suuper. And I concur that you really hit the spot with slapstick and chaos, and Cogno grew on me too well. Second favourite character would be Lewis. His Chunibyo is just funny haha

Chapter 4
Spoiler
The Chapter title pages are too cute haha.

Pfft Junga

And yes let CO02043F74B stay away from the Junga game plz I don't know what could happen. By the way it's great he became small because I can't imagine what havoc he'd wreak mega-sized haha.

These guys are pulling out the block like ninjas hahaha. Hands blurring and everything.

And bow-tie girl is too cute with how she pulled out the Jenga. Gambate!

Stacking the books thing is how these things go wrong hahaha. What the heck happened to cleaning the room!? baha

Lewis and Connor are not a good combo if you want to have a peaceful life haha it just keeps on escalating.

The Supervisor is the best ever.

Poor CO02043F74B didn't deserve the tower fall. RIP robot-kun

Yes Tidy up plz pfft.

Props man, you made an entire episode out of Jenga. Was pretty engaging tbh

Chapter 5

Spoiler
Krystals' Poker face is legendary. She looks more robotic than CO02043F74B

As for kawaii bow-tie girl...

The under-handed tactic would end my career lol

The heroes of justice attack was heartless hahahahaha.

The feints between Connor and Lewis. I could hear epic battle music man hahaha.

No... Lewis you're not allowed to hold onto the cards bahahahaha.

Oh gawd is it even possible to tear a card like that? I imagined that'd take a lot of force hahah.

Aw she was invested in the game

Lance is a fool but he really is fun. I wish I had a troupe of misfits like this to be foolish like this haha.

Ah, I see Lance has mastered the JoJo Secret Family technique: Nigerooooooo

Operation Escape dun dun duuuun

I'm amazed at how much content you pack in the chapters. You've really been at this man props. And this is just one of the many manga you're juggling! Epic.

Chapter 6
Spoiler
"School is a prison" Hit too hard.

For the sake of knowledge you must break the rules hehehe.

The matter of fact 'We got caught' and the way she holds them like muppets made me laugh hahaha. Just look at how dejected they are.

And holy heck the head teacher must be buff as heck haha.

AND DID SHE EAT A DEVIL FRUIT lol

The entire silent sequence is having me laughing hahahahaha She even sealed the freaking windows.

Surprisingly chill though all said and done by not punishing them.

I heard Mission Impossible music when they started plan B

Also heard the MGS '!' sound when they saw the Head

Oh gawd what is happening with the Head. Kage-bunshin no Jutsu? Too funny man. 


Chapter 7
Spoiler
Hey reading manga can give you inspiration to make great escape plans haha.

And oh my god I was so invested in the escape plan the 'Why do we have to escape' thing also shocked me out of it.

And yeah, you should've done it in the beginning, and also a point above all this: You guys have already been adventuring for the last past chapters bahahahaha!

The Games club is pretty bare haha (great background drawing skills btw. Always have a sense of where everything is.

They were abducted pfft.

Oh wait the 'Help sign oh oh'

CO02043F74B is super useful with his transformation haha

HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW THEY FOLLOWED THEIR FOOTPRINTS

Chapter 1 Title Page remix was a good one. And I know about the fumes-stage of doing a lot of productive work. But this is where you get the muscle to keep on going. Serious props man. And stream-of-consciousness is a great way to reduce mental strain you just literally go at the seat of your pants haha.

Interesting take on one-dimensionality being necessary for energetic comedy. And it's a true point in a way, but I like it when comedies have their realistic parts for the conclusino of a season or the start of a certain arc. Gintama is legendary at this.

OH NO I REALLY THOUGHT THER'D BE A CONCLUSION FOR WHERE THE CLUB MEMBERS WENT lol. Knowing this school with doppelgänger Headteachers they probably were abducted haha. Or maybe they got sucked into a video-game.

Chapter 8
Spoiler
Nice homely neighbourhood. Like the background. And haha cute CO02043F74B in his own little bed.

"We can be outside... On the weekend!" Pffft these guys. And I like the panels where they have a shocking realization because I unironically also have shocking realisations.

Pfft 'Praise me more'

Like the park and the variety of outfits. Also you've got their expressions and body gestures down to a pat. It really
feels natural.

The tall transformation was hilarious hahaha.

Oh man his poor feelings were hurt because he was too heavy haha.

'Robot Equipped' pfft.

The "IT CALLS ME" was like the roar of a lion. I almost heard it hahahaha.

"I've heard rumours about shops like this. Men get abandoned outside of them for hours." Pfft it sounded like an RPG
where you find a legendary building with hidden lore.

How the heck did they buy so much in seconds hahahahaha.

The shiny credit card is a high-level item. How the heck does she have it!?

And good CO02043F74B with his transportation.

And yay maybe he'll find a friend in the Denki Electric store. But I hope he won't get dissapointed by their processing power...

And oh gawd you know Sayonara Zetubuo Sensei hahaha. Gawd I still need to finish that manga and anime. So creative, so weird, so hilarious.


Chapter 9

Spoiler
Talking to a mixer hahahaha.

And gahahaha he's stuck in that form!

Oh nooo he's getting bought! And that  scene pretty much summarized what would probably happen if CO02043F74B got discovered haha.

'Robotnapped' *facepalm

The Robotnapper was totally a heads-in-the-cloud sort of guy haha.

Pfft how she's proud of 'That's enough for an entire month!' Haha


Chapter 10
Spoiler
Too cute how she dreamily stared at the new milkshake flavour.

Wait did they ever get the clothes home? I lost track for some reason haha.

Nice restaurant scene. Like the progression of them ordering and how filled up it seems. Good background work dude.

"Because I'm an assassin!"

"Stop narrating other peoples' lives!" Pfft

Pffft its sad and hilarious how the parents are happy at him bringing friends. And yeah, tis is truth about quality over quantity.

The father trying to kidnap the girls smh

*facepalm* The damn cardboard keypad


Awesome robot collection btw

The 'Aren't we friends' ask was a low blow. Oof right in the heart.

The moment I saw him wear a bow-tie I knew the parents would be... Special.

PFFT the dedication to the gag by the mom having one too is too much haha.  WAIT THERES A BOWTIE ON THE LAMP.
AND A BOWTIE PICTURE.

I have no words for this family lol.

Oh gawd I was low-key invested in the entire speech on why bowties are the ultimate form of neckwear. And to be
honest... I like them too.

AND OF COURSE LANCE BUYS INTO IT.

And it occurs to me bow-tie girl also had one.

And KRYSTAL GOT ONE TOO.

This chapter is too hilarious. I want to see the other houses now.


I think you do a good job of Conner playing off Lance as competitive childhood friends, one more energetic and the other more subdued and serious like his parents, while Krystal is tsundere like and bow-tie gal is just kawaii. I think the constellation is what matters and so long as they show up regularly the comedy is there. Enjoyed this chapter. And hot damn was it longer than I thought. Awesome.



Chapter 11
Spoiler
Gawd for the life of me I forgot her name was Rosie.

And oof she's poor? Holy heck. My sympathy for her has only increased x100. I want to protect her!

The door handle falling off lol.

Oh gawd is the house in shambles because of how clumsy they are!?

The parents are too dopy and loving.

Losing your glasses on his head pfft.

And oh gawd they are just unlucky as all heck!

(pfft it was raining love pellets)

I didn't expect Rosies room to be like that. But maybe because of the bad luck magnetism of the parents she has...

Good luck? Or neutral luck at least.

And dun dun duuuun. Krystal is 100% filthy rich. I wonder if her parents are at home. Curious about them too.


Phew that was a great ride. WIll be getting to your other works soon but all in all great productivity man and serious props. I think I'll just make a general comment after binge reading the other chapters to be able to get through them faster and enjoy them more. Reading manga and reacting on every page doesn't work as well as when I'd be reading a script haha, but yeah its a great ride man. This is slapstick-manga for sure! Props suuper and looking forward to the rest!

12
Members Manga / Re: Monday Blues
« on: July 02, 2021, 07:04:53 AM »
Monday Blues

Oh this sheet turned out great. The clean lineart and toning will be a life-saver for when you draw the manga.

Haha for some reason it feels like they're in a jacuzzi that is either too hot or too cold or laughing at jokes. I can imagine them all having a conversation together

13
MR Pub / RIP Miura
« on: May 20, 2021, 01:34:45 PM »
I seriously just can't with this. Started Beserk when I was a teenager and I sort of assumed I'd eventually finish it.

Great man and absolute legend. My respect and heart goes out to him and this just sucks.

14
Comics and other Gallery / Re: Miscellaneous Arts and Sketchbook
« on: May 17, 2021, 02:59:29 AM »
Have you ever programmed a Flash game? Wouldn't put it past you hehehe and yeah definitely nostalgia central

Bahaha you better believe I'm still terrified of drawing technical stuff. I know it every new stroke I make that I seriously need an education on 3d stuff but yeah I'll try my best haha.

The duplicates thing was super embarrassing lol. I thought I had a lot more projects but it turns out I was a lazy bum and just named my half-finished scripts randomly and scattered them all around my harddrive. Welp.


1000/1000



Not sure how to punch in mechanical line drawing as a regimen so I'll see how that works. Otherwise I'll try for thumbnails or stick figures.

15
Comics and other Gallery / Re: Miscellaneous Arts and Sketchbook
« on: May 15, 2021, 01:48:44 PM »
Hahaha oh yeah that reminds me there was an ultra dump of Flash games coming around the interwebs. And huh. Cool.

Did you ever play Stickdeath.com games?

900/1000

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