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Topics - Kensaku-san

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Develop Your Story / Bad Apple-The (unofficial) Manga
« on: November 04, 2015, 05:08:31 PM »
Hello all Manga Raiders. I have recently come up with an idea for a story that I would love to tell and hopefully make into a full blown manga, but before I get ahead of myself let me lay out what I have so far.


 
 All throughout time the darkness and the light have fought for control over the world, striving to gain the upper hand over the other. Both the darkness and the light formed contracts with those willing to serve and fight for them, but where the darkness chose to recruit entire legions of followers, the light had only recruited one. A beautiful young shrine maiden who had been given the gift of eternal life. through the centuries this girl fought back the forces of the darkness and upheld the balance between the light and the dark. Until one day when she came across a boy.

This boy would come to the shrine of the god of light every day to pay his respects and give thanks, and the maiden would watch him as he gave offerings and said prayers. one day she approached the boy from her place of hiding to ask him why he came so often, and the boy responded
"every night I look to the sky and see the stars cutting through the black, and every morning I see the sun chasing away the shadows that remain. Seeing such a beautiful sight makes me grateful to our god of light and all those who serve him."

 the next day when the boy came to pray he found an apple, wrapped in a white cloth, resting atop the stairs to the shrine. he took the apple and thanked the maiden in his prayers. this continued for a month until one day the maiden herself greeted him with an apple. As time passed and the maiden continued her fight every morning and night to chase away the darkness, she began to realize that she was only fighting the dark that surrounded the boy so that when he looked at the sky each night he would see only the most brilliant of stars. The maiden loved the boy and she knew that he loved her, so for years he continued to pray every day and she continued to greet him at the steps.

 The boy would often stay after his prayers to talk with the maiden and confide in her his every secret, and she would do so with hers. But the maiden grew sad, for she realized that while she watched the boy mature and become older she herself had not aged. She knew that they could never be and in her grief, summoned the darkness and called out.
"I know your agents watch my every move, so I call to you now. send me one who can cure my pain and I will allow you one night of complete darkness."
 So the darkness sent a witch, and with her the witch carried an apple.
 "Give this apple to the one you love and he shall disappear from both body and mind, but if you fail the effects shall be turned upon you".

 The maiden accepted the apple and sent away the witch. The next day when the boy returned to the shrine he was surprised to find that there was neither an apple or maiden waiting for him. As the boy conducted his prayers the maiden watched, with the wretched apple in hand she cursed her god for her eternal life. As the boy turned to leave the maiden stepped out from her place of hiding. The boy saw her and smiled and she approached with an apple in her hands.

 The boy embraced her, as had now become their custom, and said to her
"fair maiden of the shrine If you would be so kind as to listen I would like to share with you the last secret that I hold."
"I shall hear it" she replied with dread in her heart.
"fair maiden of the shrine, I love you"
"and I, you" she responded as he embraced her.
As he pulled out of the embrace he noticed the apple in her hands.
"Is that for me?" he asked
"no, this one is for me" she replied, tears streaming down her face.
the boy reached for her, attempting to wipe away the tears, but before his hand could touch her smooth skin she took a bite from the apple and watched as his hand stopped, and his eyes glossed over only to become clear again but now with a look of confusion as he stared at his hand wondering what he was doing or why he was at the shrine in the first place. She watched as he turned around and walked away without any recollection of her or the love he had felt. As the maiden cried out in grief, her body began to disappear. Her immortality clashing with the nature of the curse and ripping her soul into six pieces, one for each seed in the cursed apple, and scattering them around the world, each creating a new body filled with the pain and fear of a broken heart and each with no memory of who they are or how they got there.



wow, that's much more than I had originally but I knew If i stopped writing I wouldn't remember any of it. I apologize if the length and detail disqualifies it from this part of the forums but to be perfectly honest, this is nowhere near done, This is only the prologue to give the rest of the story a bit of background. The rest will be about how these pieces of her soul will fight to figure out who they really are and what path they will take in a world that's left without a guardian of the light. I'm hoping to get some help with this as I cant draw for my life and writing dialog scenes isn't exactly my strong point,as well as grammar (if it wasn't already apparent). If anything I just want to get a group together to help me work on this, I can provide the base story and any world details but other than that its up to the whole group to decide how this tale is to be told.

P.S. The song Bad Apple was my inspiration for this story, as well as some english lyrics I found for the song online. Ill link both the song and the lyrics down below (if that's allowed)
Lyrics- http://kursedm111.deviantart.com/art/Bad-Apple-English-Lyrics-245721934
Song- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzEUeWnV73U

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