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Topics - GoneEmpty

Pages: [1]
1
I'm looking for a writer/co-writer to write a story/script for a plot I recently came up with, or to assist me writing the story/script. The story contains elements that I would consider to be mature, so I would want the writer to be at least 17 years old or older. The genres of the story are crime (gangs/corrupt cops) and action. If you would like to work with me, just leave a comment or PM. Thanks!

All names are just placeholders and sorry for my poor English.

Spoiler
The plot will follow a boy named Marcus through his life in the city of Philly, that is ruled by a ruthless drug lord. Marcus's parents are murdered by the drug lord when he is still only a baby and ends up being raised by the drug lord herself (Sounds weird I know, but there is an explanation for it that I won't get into now).  Eighteen years later and Marcus has grown to love his extended family made up of the lieutenants of the gang and a little sister named Joanna (She share a similar past to Marcus, and is not truly the daughter of the drug lord). However, Marcus has been kept in the dark when it comes to the gangs business, out of fear that he was too young to understand such things. Now that he is eighteen his "mother" introduces him to the world of crime, but it is short lived. A band of rebels recognize Marcus's face and set a plan in motion to free him (The rebels knew Marcus's dad back when he was alive and in charge of taking down the drug lord as a police officer). The rebels will end up freeing Marcus, but now Marcus must make a choice on who to believe. Is the family he knows truly that bad? Are these rebels fight for the people? Should Marcus return to his family? If he does decide to fight, what will happen to relationships with his family?

2
Anime Talk / I need help finding an anime
« on: July 29, 2015, 07:32:49 PM »
For about a year now, I've been looking for the name of my very first anime, but sadly I still can't find it. So, I was hoping someone here on MR could help me out.

I saw the anime around 2001 when I was in the second grade, so I don't remember a whole lot sadly. I do know that the general plot was similar to "The Crow" comic-books and movies, but instead of a man seeking revenge it was a teenage kid. I also remember that the kid was fighting members of his family that were some sort of drug dealers, and they used drugs to make themselves strong when they fought each other.

I know it not a lot to go off of, but any thought of what the anime's name is would be helpful, Thanks!

3
Develop Your Story / Look for help/tips for my story
« on: June 06, 2015, 09:46:24 PM »
This is a small piece from the prologue of my new story (no title yet) and  I'm just looking for feedback/help/tips on it. Now, I now there are better ways of formatting this story but I'm not too concerned with that at the current moment. I mostly looking for help on the dialog parts of the story, i.e., is it clear who is talking, does the dialog make sense for the time period (medieval). etc. Thanks and any help would be appreciative!

Events in Prologue:

The prologue will start out at small wooden fort called the Crossroads and is located deep below the surface in an underground cave system. Fort Crossroads acts as an outpost base and is the deepest fort out of seven other forts/gates. These gates keep back the enemy called the Horde from reaching the surface, but there have been no sightings of these creatures for thousands of years. However, in the prologue the fort Crossroads will be attacked and suffer a loss due to the speed of the Horde's attack. The Crossroads will also fail at send a warning that the Horde has emerged and leave Gate Sloth open for an attack.


Part 1 Fixed by AkaneKuromai (Thanks again!)
Spoiler
"What was that?!" Garner urged as he look to his fellow watchmen. "Are none of you concerned?!"

"What the *censored* are you going on about boy?" Mace asked, sitting with his back against the wood wall, eyes closed. "Honestly, even sound of wind makes you piss yourself."

Garner refused to let Mace words faze him and returned to his duties. Mace smirked, "What, the son of a lord can't speak to a peasant like yours truly?"

Garner's face transformed with disgust as he looked down at Mace. "No. I speak to all men equally, regardless of their rank in society, but you are barely a man."

Mace laughed to himself and smiled at the young lord, however, his mood became grim as the Commander entered. "Mace! What exactly do you think you're doing?" Commander Adrion demanded walking up to the pair.

"Commander, I was just taking a rest, right Garner?" Mace looked to Garner for support, but Garner completely ignored him, shaking his head. The Commander grabbed Mace and lifted him to his feet. "Well Mace, since you're well rested, I'll take it that you can handle the night watch as well?" Commander Adrion asked, intimidating the cocky soldier. "Yes sir, I can handle both watches." Mace answered the Commander but kept his gaze solo on the side of Garner's head.

"Good. As for you, Garner, you look like you're about to kill over," Commander Adrion stated. Garner turned his attention to the darkness that lay ahead the small wooden fortifications. "I was just startled by the gust of wind, sir." Garner answered the commander in a soft voice, his eyes still set in the darkness in front of him. "Just a cave-in Garner, no need to fear falling rocks." Commander Adrion spoke in a calm voice that eased Garner's mind.

"Garner, go get some food, I'll take the rest of your shift." Commander Adrion spoke calmly, focusing on the darkness beyond the wall. "Sir!" Garner saluted the Commander and quickly climbed down a nearby ladder. Garner could hear Mace and Commander Adrion having a conversation but was too far away to make out what they were discussing.

Halfway back to his tent, Garner felt the ground beneath his feet rumble and turned to look at Mace and Commander Adrion. Both men were intensely looking into the darkness in front of the fortifications, when suddenly Commander Adrion turned around and began to shout orders to the men. "Brace the GATE! Man the walls! Sound the bell! Horde!"  Men from all around the fort rushed to brace the gate and man the walls; however, Garner remained still and watched as the men threw their bodies against the gate. A giant troll burst through the gate, sending shattered pieces of wood flying and knocking men down.

Garner lay his hand on the hilt of his sword but can't remove it for his hand trembled at the sight of the Horde cave troll. Garner looked at the creature as Mace jumped from the wooden wall and impaled the creature in the back. The Horde troll let out a scream as the rest of the men began to regain their footing. However, the wound did not kill the creature, but only enraged it. It reached behind its back and grabbed hold of Mace's foot. The Horde creature swung the Mace body against the wooden walls killing him instantly. The creature then turned his attention to the men rushing to the bell that far end of the fort. The men on the ground were powerless against creature as it ran to the bell.

Garner began to run away from the fort, but betrayed himself by looking back. The troll mercilessly slaughtered the men before they could reach the warning bell. Before leave through the rear gate, Garner looked back to where he last saw the Commander and found that hundreds of Horde swarmed over the walls.

Part 2
Spoiler
“Sorry…” Garner turns his gaze back to the rear gate and runs away. For what seems like hours, Garner hears the sounds of men screaming and steel clashing. Then the sounds of battle cease. “Is it over? I had to leave, right? Yes… I have to warn Sloth Gate. I had to run to warn them.” Garner slows his run to walk as he franticly looks around the pitch-black passageway. Voices begin to echo off the cave’s walls from behind Garner that sound human. “Keep moving! The rear gate has probably already fallen, so move your asses.” The unknown soldier’s voice is filled with fear and uncertainty as he and his men approach Garner from behind.

“Hold! Are you men from the Crossroads?” Garner steps out into the middle of the cave’s passageway and into the light of the men’s torches. “Garner? What in bloody hell are you doing here!” One of the unknown soldiers takes a torch and moves closer to Garner. “Not even a drop of blood on you! Did you abandon the Crossroads you *censored*ing coward?!” Garner looks at each man in the small group and sees that every single one of them is cover in blood or wounded. “No… I... saw the men at the bell get slaughtered and took it upon myself to warn Sloth Gate.” Garner tries to speak in a stern voice, but the group of men don’t believe the words of a coward. “Like *censored*ing hell your noble prick. Let’s move before the Horde catches up.”

The unknown group of soldiers leaves Garner behind alone in the dark passageway. Then a loud sound echoes through the cave’s passageway startling Garner. “The rear gate?!” Garner again hears the sounds of battle, but this time it is short lived. Once the sounds of battle stop, Garner runs after the fading lights of the men’s torches farther down the cave’s passageway.

The small group of soldiers continued to run towards Sloth Gate with Garner close behind them in the cover of the cave’s darkness. “Light!” One of the unknown soldiers shouts to his comrades as they start to sprint towards the light. Garner follows their lead, but he stops dead in his tracks. The sound of movement echoes softly off the cave’s walls. Garner looks back into the darkness and fails to make out any movement. “May the Five save me…” Garner turned back towards the light and beings to run for his life.

The unknown group of soldiers exit through the dark cave’s passageway and enter a large open area underground. Unlike Fort Crossroads, Sloth Gate has a fifty meter high stone wall that expands to both sides of the large open area, towers lining the wall, a trench with spikes at the bottom, a large open area in front of the wall, and a drawbridge over the trench. The soldiers stop to catch their breath and to look around.

Sloth Gate’s wall remains mostly vacant except for a few guards on watch. The open field was still, with only the large fire pits showing movement with their blue flames.  Near the roof of this large cave were giant tree roots that had bright orbs hanging on them. All was quiet at Sloth Gate. Then Garner ran past the soldier taking a rest as the Sloth Gate drawbridge slowly began to open.

4
Since Devil Within will have to wait until I find a pixel artist, I decided to try and restart another one of my old stories in the meantime. Below is a rough draft of what I was trying to get the first page to look like, but I'm no artist. So, I was hoping that someone could help me in this department. I only need the one page done, and it doesn't have to be manga quality just better than what I draw. If you would like to help me just leave a comment or pm me. Thanks! 

Prologue's plot:

So, the prologue is essentially a battle between the realm of men and an enemy called the Horde. This battle will happen in two different locations. First, is the small military fort called the Crossroads located deep underground in a cave system. Second, will be a battle at a gate named the Sloth Gate also deep underground (Named after one of the seven deadly sins).   



Feel free to draw them however you want.

1. A soldier is standing on a wooden platform wearing light armor (spotty leather armor) looking over a wooden log wall holding a torch that burns blue.

2. Just the wooden wall with the a wooden gate in the picture.

3. Soldiers are looking over the wall after a strong wind has just blown from one of the caves sending the flag next to them flying backward. (Flag has no sigil yet)

4. Just the cave entrance from where the wind blow from.

5. A troll with no armor on appears at the mouth of the cave running at the wooden gate. For the troll, I was thinking something like the cave trolls in the Lord of the Rings, but just skinner and more muscle.

5
Both artists will receive 25% of all profits each and I want to sell the game for like 2-5 US dollars. I currently don't know the best way to go about splitting the profits in this manner, but I do plan on paying each are artist 25% of the earnings.

So it's been a long time since I've been active on this site, but now that my college is done I'd like to get back to writing. I'm a computer programming major and during my time in college I reviewed some of my old plot ideas and I believe I found one that could be a nice little game. The story is called Devil Within, and it's a horror/psychological thriller and I'm trying to make it into an RPG horror pixel game. As for the art, I would need the pixel artist to make sceneries like floor tiles and walls. For the Manga Artist, I would need them to draw the character in different poses/clothes and a few still shots (I have no idea what to call them). If you're interested, leave a comment or PM me. Thanks!

P.S. I may also need a second writer as well because I don't think I can code, write and make the game on RPG Maker VX Ace all at the same time without letting something suffer.

First Draft Prologue (Sorry it's a long one and a little cliche lol):

Spoiler
Chapter Zero:  Family (Prologue)

Setting: A classroom in St. Marks Middle School classroom 234.

Teacher: ... and that's why you should never go to the zoo on a Monday. Now, are there any questions before we break for lunch?

Class: ...

Teacher: Ok then, I will see you all back here in one hour.

Action: The class erupts into conversations as students leave the classroom and another stay behind to eat their lunches at their desks. A young girl named Tori takes the set next to a boy named Alex and the two begin to talk while they eat their lunches.

Ales: Toriiii....

Tori: What?

Alex: Food?

Tori: No... eat your own lunch.

Action: Alex looks at his lunch and it shows that he burned most of his lunch. Tori looks at his lunch as well a face of pity overcomes her.

Tori: Find just this once.

Setting: Fades to black. Comes back to the two of them still sitting in their decks and talking.

 Tori: Did you read the book last night?

Alex: Yes!?

Tori: ...

Tori: What's the book's title?

Alex: Sherlock Holmes and the tales of MacBeth!

Tori: You're an idiot! You know we have a quiz on it in 8th period right?

Alex: Yes?!

Tori: ...

Tori: Do you want my notes?

Alex: No way! Last time I used your notes to cheat I got a D! I could have gotten a better grade without your notes!

Tori: That's because you fell asleep half way through the test you idiot!

Alex: ... Words can hurt you know.

Tori: Shut up and take the notes already.

Action: Alex takes the notes (Notes are the explanation of how the game will work with choices).

Setting: Fades to black. Comes back to the students in 8th period finishing the quiz and getting ready to go home.

Teacher: Alright class, that will be all for today. Have a nice weekend.

Action: As the class packs up to leave, Tori walks over to Alex's desk. 

Tori: Ummm... Alex... Are you free after school today?

Alex: Sorry Tori, I have to pick up my little sister from her school today. Why?

Tori: Nothing really... just want to see if you were free to hang out.

Alex: Oh... sorry. Emma is still too afraid to walk home alone and my parents won't be home until later tonight. 

Tori: No, that's ok I understand. Emma is luck to have a big brother like you... even though you are an idiot.

Alex: Words still hurt.

Tori: Shut up... call me later tonight?

Alex: Sure.

Action: Tori quickly walks to the door and turns around and tells Alex.

Tori: See ah Alex.

Alex: See you Tori.

Setting: Fades to black and cuts to Alex waiting for Emma outside her school.

Action: The doors to the school open and a few students walk out. One of the students runs towards Alex in a school outfit and has her hair down.

Emma: Alex!!

Action: The girl hugs Alex around his legs and Alex's face turns a little red. Alex lays his hand on Emma's head.

Alex: Want's that in your hand Emma?

Emma: My math test that I got an A on.

Alex: Good job Emma!

Action: Emma's face turns a little red with Alex's complement.

Alex: Come on Emma let’s get going before it gets dark, and maybe just maybe, I'll take you to get some ice on the way home. To celebrate your A.

Action: Emma puts a bid smile on her face and shakes her head up and down.

Emma: Ok!

Action: Fade to black and cuts to the two of them walking down a sidewalk and Emma has just finished an ice cream cone. Emma is also humming the theme song of one of her favorite shows.

Alex: Is that the Magical Girls Fight theme song?

Action: Emma stops walking and looks at Alex with a face filled with joy.

Emma: Alex!! You watch Magical Girls Fight to!!

Action: Alex's face turns red as he looks around to see who might have heard Emma.

Alex to himself: I’ve never even seen the show before, but every Saturday morning Emma tells everyone in our family at breakfast about all the latest news about the show.

Alex: I guess you could say I've seen a few episode.

Emma: Are you going to watch the special TV movie premiere tomorrow after dinner?

Alex to himself: Well *censored*, I just dug my own grave...

Alex: Of course... I'm going to watch it.

Action: Emma's face light up as she looked at Alex.

Emma: Can we... ummm... watch it together Alex?

Alex to himself: Just too cute...

Alex: Of course Emma! I would love to watch it with you!

Action: Emma hops around the sidewalk in excitement and begins to hum the Magical Girls Fight theme song even louder know.

Setting: The two continue to walk to their house when they come to a road crossing with a red light. The intersection has a sharp turn were incoming cars have very little time to slow down or stop for people crossing. Alex looks in all directions and sees no cars coming.

Alex: Come on Emma we can cross...

Alex: OOOWW! Why did you kick me?!

Action: Emma puts on a stern face and looks away from Alex.

Emma: Idiot!

Alex: What? (Laughing a little)

Emma: You have to wait for the walking man. Idiot!

Alex: What walking man?

Action: Emma points to a crosswalk light on the other side of the street.

Emma: Mom says to wait for the walking man and then check the road for cars. Only after that can you cross. Idiot…

Alex: Ok, ok, we'll wait for the walking man. (Alex laughs to himself)

Emma: Humm...

Action: The crosswalk light turns to the walking man.

Alex: Ok, we can cross now Emma.

Alex: OOWWW! Emma, why did you kick me again?

Emma: Mom says a man should always hold a lady's hand when crossing a street, and that's a sign that he likes me.

Alex to himself: Why is Mom already teaching her stuff like that when Emma’s only six? What going through her mind that she thinks Emma’s going to meet a boy at SIX YEARS OLD! What the hell mom? Does Emma even understand what mom meant by like?

Action: Alex reaches down and grabs Emma’s hand and Emma’s face turns bright red as Alex escorts her across the road. From there the two only have a little farther to walk before reaching their house that is near the edge of town. Once they both get home, they see that their parents cars are already home and the sun has already set.

Alex and Emma: We're home!

Alex's Mom: Washup you two. Dinner is almost ready.

Action: Emma quickly takes off her shoes and bag and runs into the kitchen were Alex's mom's voice came from. Alex's puts his shoes away along with Emma's shoes and picks up Emma's bag and takes it into the kitchen.

Alex's Mom: Your back! What took you two so long?

Action: Emma runs into the kitchen and hugs her mom around her legs and looks up at her.

Emma: Alex took me to get an ice cream cone because I got an A on my math test.

Alex's Mom: Did he? Now that a good man Emma... remember that.

Action: Alex's mom picks up Emma and puts her on the counter while she is making dinner. Alex just gets into the room in time to hear his mom say that.

Alex to himself: I'll never understand her.

Emma: What’s for dinner mommy?

Alex's Mom: Your favorite Emma, curry, and rice ball!

Action: Emma’s face light up with excitement.

Alex's Mom: After all you need all of you strength when you’re a Magical Girl fighting the forces of darkness.

Action: Alex's Mom strikes a pose from The Magical Girls Fight show and Emma is quick to follow with a pose and a catchphrase from the show as well. As Alex puts both his and Emma's bag on a chair.

Emma- “May darkness fear the Love and Light of our magic when we unite and fight!”

Action: Both Alex's mom and Emma start to laugh as Alex’s father walks into the kitchen. Alex's Mom puts Emma back on the ground and Emma runs over to hug her father.

Alex's father: What are my two favorite girls up to?

Emma: We're Getting ready to fight the darkness using our magic.

Action: Emma strikes a pose and while not even looking Kate also strikes a pose.

Alex's Mom-Yeah!

Action: Alex's mom turns around and gives Emma a thumb up.

Alex's father- Well, I better put you down so I don’t get in your way my little magical girl.

Action: After Emma’s father puts her down, she runs over back over to her mom so that she can help make dinner for the family.

Alex's mom: Oh, Alex how was school?

Alex: Same old same old I guess.

Alex's father: Learn anything new?

Alex: Just the normal stuff in math and science I guess.     
 
Alex's father: I feel your pain son. When I was in high school, I hated that stuff too.

Action: Alex's mom gives Alex's father a disappointed look.

Alex's Mom: Got any plans for today or the weekend Alex?

Alex: Well…

Action: Emma cuts Alex off before he can finish speaking.

Emma: Alex is going to watch The Magical Girls Fight with me today!!

Action: Alex's mom looks at Alex with a little smile on her face.

Alex's Mom: Is that so?

Alex: Well, I kind of agreed that I would watch tomorrow’s Special TV movie premiere with her.

Action: Emma turns and looks at Alex with a cute little face that filled with anticipation.

Emma: You’re going to watch today new episode to right?

Alex to himself: Just too damn cute to say no...

Alex:  Of course I’m going to watch it, Emma… I wouldn’t miss it for the world!

Emma: Ok! Don’t forget that it starts at 8pm!

Action: Emma sticks a pose and Alex tries to strike a pose, but it come out weak and really bad.

Emma: Alex you really need to work on your poses, because that was really bad …

Action: Alex's mom and Alex's father laugh a little bit at what Emma said. As Alex pats Emma on the head.

Alex: Maybe you could show me how to do a pose correctly during the breaks in the show?

Action: Emma's face gets a really happy expression on it.

Emma: OK!

Action: After dinner, Alex excuses himself and goes to his room carrying bag. Once in his room Alex opens his bag and takes his notebook and opens his window. Then Alex calls Tori.

Tori: Hello!!

Alex: Tori it’s Alex.

Tori: Oh Alex, you’re a little late on the call me when you get home part, but I'll forgive that on the account that your an idiot.

Alex: Words still hurt.

Tori: I know, but someone has to motivate you to do better in life.

Alex: What? Never mind. So, sorry about that Tori, I got caught up in taking my little sister to the ice cream parlor and the I was strong-armed into making a promise with her.

Tori: Strong-armed? By Emma?

Alex: Just too damn cute to say no to.

Tori: What was the promise about?

Alex: Well, it was about her favorite show The Magical Girls Fight and she wants me to watch it with her.

Action: Tori is slow to respond to Alex that makes Alex think that Tori may also like the show.

Alex: Tori?

Tori: What?! Oh... do you really… ummm… like that show Alex?

Alex to himself: Does Tori like that show?

Alex: Yes?

Tori: You two going to watch tonight’s episode together?

Alex: Yah... both the new episode and the Special TV movie premiere tomorrow.

Tori- Can I come… over and… ummm… watch it with you guys?

Alex to himself: Tori enter attitude just changed from being an ass to a shy little girl.

Alex: I’ll have to ask Emma, but I think she’ll be ok with it.

Tori: Really!

Alex: Yeah, I’ll go ask her now.

Action: Alex leaves his room with the phone still next to his ear and walks downstairs to ask Emma.

Alex: Emma, you down here?

Action: Emma is walking out of the kitchen with a huge bowl of popcorn and has changed her clothes and is now wearing her Magical Girls Fight footy pajamas.

Emma: Yeah!

Alex: Wow! Emma, you’re looking like a real magical girl with those PJ's.

Action: Emma puts on a big smile while carrying the pop-corn.

Alex: Emma is it ok if I invite Tori from my class to watch the show with us. I think she’s as big as a fan as you are.

Emma: The more, the better!

Alex: Ok I’ll tell her that she can come over.

Action: Emma takes a set on the couch and turns on the TV and watched last week's episode of Magical Girls Fight. Alex goes back up to his room and tells Tori that it's  ok with Emma and that she should come over. Alex hangs up his phone and suddenly a very strong wind blows into his room through his window sending all of his papers from school flying around his room. Alex goes to pick them up and looks through them.

Alex: Damn. What is all that stuff anyway? Oh yeah, I have homework due Monday.

Action: Alex looks at his alarm clock to see what time it is, 6:00pm.

Alex to himself: I guess I could finish it now and take the weekend off, yeah why not.

Action: Alex sits in his room doing his homework until he hears someone buzzing the doorbell. Alex quickly runs down the stairs to open the door and what he sees shocks him. A slightly embarrassed Tori is in front of his door dressed in a Magical Girls Fight hat and tee-shirt and Alex just looks at her for a few seconds.

Alex to himself: Tori looks cute when she is embraced.

Alex: … Come in Tori.

Action: Tori turns and waves to a parked truck with construction equipment in it in front of the house as she steps into the Alex's home.

Tori: Pardon the intrusion…

Action: At that moment, Emma looks over at the door and sees Tori and runs over to meet her.

Tori: You must be Emma, right?

Emma: Yep, and you must be Tori.

Tori: You got it, Emma. I’m Tori and it’s nice to finally meet you. Alex’s descriptions of how cute you are simply just don’t do you justice. I love the PJ's, I have a pair just like them.

Alex to himself: What?

Emma: Thanks! You’re pretty cute to Tori and (looks to her right away from Tori's direction and mumbles) I bet Alex doesn’t forget to hold your hand when you cross the street.

Alex to himself: What? Emma understood what mom meant by holding hands?! What the hell mom. How much did you teach your daughter your six-year-old daughter about those the birds and the bees?

Tori: What Emma? Sorry, I can't hear you.

Emma: Weeellll…

Alex: Never mind that Tori let’s get ready for the show, it’s going to start soon.

Tori: Ummm… okay.

Action: Alex's mom pops her head out of the kitchen and gives Emma a thumb up and Emma shacks her head and runs to the sofa.
The three of them watch the show and after it’s done Tori leaves but not before Emma invites her to watch the Special TV movie premiere with them tomorrow.

Setting: Fades to black. Now everyone is in bed except for Alex's dad, who is drinking a beer outside reading and Alex who is playing video games in the living room.

Alex's Dad: Whelp, I’m off to bed Alex. Make sure you turn off the light before you go upstairs.

Alex: Ok…

Action: Soon after that, Alex leaves the living room (does not turn off the lights) and goes to bed and leaves his door and window still wide open.

Setting: Fades to black. Cuts to the middle of the night, while everyone was sleeping a small electrical fire, starts in the living room and quickly spreads throughout the first floor of the house. As the fire grows in size, more and more smoke is pushed up to the second floor. The smoke enters the hallway were most of the smoke enters through Alex’s door and leaves through Alex’s open window.

Alex talks in his sleep: Breakfast… already…?

Action: Alex slowly opens his eyes and can only see the darkness of his room.
 
Alex: Why… does it smell like… something burning?

Action: Alex rubs his eyes as he gets out of his bed to turn on his lights.
 
Alex to himself: (Coughing) Is Emma cooking with mom again…

Action: Alex turns on the lights in his room and sees a thick black cloud of smoke entering through his open door.

Alex to himself- SMOKE?!… FIRE!

Action: Alex quickly crouches to the floor to avoid breathing in the toxic smoke and grabs a piece of clothing on the floor to cover his mouth. Alex crouch walks into the hallway and goes towards Emma’s room.

Alex: MOM, DAD FIRE!! FIRE!!

Action: When Alex reaches Emma’s door he tries to open it but fails to get the door to open. 

Alex: Emma are you in there?!

Emma: …

Alex: Come on Emma answer me!!

Emma: …

Action: Alex starts slamming on Emma’s door when Alex's dad and Alex's mom open their bedroom door and quickly rush to Alex.

Alex's Dad: Alex where’s Emma?

Alex: I don’t know! I think she still in her room!

Alex's Mom: EMMA ARE YOU IN THERE!!

Emma: …

Alex's Mom: ANSWER ME EMMA!!

Setting: Inside of Emma’s room. Emma has wrapped herself up in her covers while holding a stuff magical girl from The Magical Girls Fight show. When Emma hears her mother calling her, she removes the cover from her face.

Emily: Mommy?

Alex's Mom: Emma, thank God!

Emma: Mommy!! I can’t see you!! (Starts to cry) Where are you!

Alex's Mom: We’re coming Emma, don’t worry! Mommy and Daddy are right outside your door.

Alex's Dad: Emma get somewhere safe and cover your face!

Emily: O...Ok

Action: Alex's dad stands up and begins to ram the door with his entire body. The door does not budge.

Alex's Dad: Dammit! Why won’t it move!
 
Action: Alex looks to his father with despair as he continues to ram the door. Then a piece of the ceiling falls from the roof of the hallway.

Alex's Dad: Alex take your mom outside and wait for me and Emma.

 Alex: I’m not leaving until we get Emma out!

Alex's Dad: GO! NOW!

Action: Alex's Mom grabs Alex’s arm before he can even decide whether or not to stay and takes him downstairs. The two run through the flames and head out the front door when a loud sound rings from the house. Both Alex's Mom and Alex turn around with faces of horror as they stop in the front yard.

Alex's Mom: Alex stay outside, I’m going back in to check on your father.

Alex: I’m going with you!

Alex's Mom: NO!! Stay outside and wait for me.

Action: Before Alex could even try to stop his mom she runs into the house and shuts the door behind her. Alex looks at the door and does not have the courage to follow his mother into the burning house. Alex runs to the sidewalk and looks for people and first responders. Now two minutes have gone by and Alex has not seen or heard anyone from the house. When suddenly Alex sees a figure standing in Emma’s window as the house begins to creak loudly.


FIRST CHOICE IN PROLOGUE

(A: Alex hurts his right leg) or (B: Alex hurts his right arm)


Alex to himself- That was just a dream right... thank God. Those drugs must have *censored*ed with my mind or something right? Yeah, any minute now Grandma and Grandpa are going to go and get my mom and my dad and Emma right? Right? Right!

Action: Alex’s Grandma starts to cry as she sees Alex start to open his eyes. Alex looks at his body and sees that (A or B) has been servilely injured.

Alex to himself- It wasn’t a dream! (starts to cry) 



6
My new story called The Cities of the Gods (you can find it on this form) is based in a steampunk world where there will be a lot of naval battles and aerial battles happening throughout the story. So I started thinking of some designs for how the planes and naval ships should look like, but I was hoping I could get an artist to do some sketches of some steampunk battleship and a steampunk jet/flying fortess for me.

If you are interested please feel free to PM or just leave a comment and I’ll respond with some ideas for their designs that I have already thought of.

7
Develop Your Story / The Cities of Gods
« on: January 05, 2015, 06:31:02 PM »
General Plot:

So in total there will be 2 main plots at the start of this story, one for the civil war between the Coalitions and one for the coming war between the United Islands and The Republic. (With another plot coming later in the story)


General Coalitions’ Plot: The New Coalition’s people have become divide on the matter of whether or not to stay silent when it comes to international problems and this issue has sparked a civil war in the New Coalition. There are two sides to this war, the New Coalition that wishes to keep to themselves and the Coalition that seeks to aid the United Islands and declare war on The Republic. This plot line will not include many battle on the battlefields, however, it will have a lot of political battles for power and the peoples favor. (Image something like the Cold War. Russia and the United States were constantly showing off their military might but at the same time it was a political battle between the two nations to see who had the better form of government)   

 
General United Island/The Republic plot: The Republic has begun to rebuild their army, navy, and air force after their humiliating lost against the United Islands 30 years. The Republic has built their army three times the size of their old army and now stand over 2 million strong with over 150,000 naval ships and 10,000 aircraft that are all gearing up for war. The United Islands stand with only 750,000 soldiers 100,000 naval ships and only 2,000 aircraft.


Countries:
Spoiler

The New Coalition- A powerful nation that is made up of 17 walled cities total and has the largest standing army out all the other countries. However, despite their strong military presence The New Coalition has never raged war against another country and has always kept to themselves when it comes to international problems. (Use to have 25 walled cities until a revolution happened) 

The Coalition- A faction of the New Coalition that has rebelled against their government and took 8 walled cities from the New Coalition when they rebelled. Now these two nations have entered a civil war and neither side will submit to the other until one collapse.      

The United Islands- A small nation only made up of 8 walled cities that live under the constant threat of invasion from its larger neighbor The Republic. For what they lack in size they make up for it in their determination to protect their cities to the very last man.   

Forbidden Region (Once called The Round Kingdom)- No one has had contact with them for over one hundred years and is presumed to have collapsed due to a unknown plague that manifested insider there cities walls. A total of 31 walled cities were in the Round Kingdom.

The Republic- The largest of the five existing nations with a total of 33 walled cities at their disposal and yet they have failed to conquer the United Islands on their first tries. The Republics attempt to invade United Islands failed because their walled cities have become over populated causing problems in with food supplies, housing, moral, etc.
 
The Golden Wall- A lone walled city lays at the center of a giant desert that is nicknamed the “Rolling Death” for no man has very crossed the desert on foot and made it alive. This walled city has a huge underground cave system filled with water beneath its walls that they use to connect them with the oceans that surround the desert. This city also is the last safe supplier of materials to keep the walls of the walled cities maintained.

Tribal Region- A barren wasteland that has no walled cities just the ruins of cities long since forgotten. However, there are a few nomad tribes that travel around the wasteland searching for a place of safety.   


Important information about the world:
Spoiler

The environment of this world is externally hazardous with things like raging oceans with waves 50m high and above, volcanos erupting on a monthly basis, poisonous gases filling the air, extreme heat, powerful typhoons, etc. So the people of this world retreated behind giant walls that stand 250m high and 50m wide to protect them from the environment and other cities (Not all the walls will be just plain example some will be artificial mountains).   

Feel free to leave comments/tips

8
Comics and other Gallery / First try at pixel art
« on: December 27, 2014, 10:12:09 PM »
So this is my first time doing pixel art so I decide to make some simple pictures and see how they turn out.

I messed up the sizing of the pictures a bit but i don't think there too small




9
Tips and Tutorials / Questions about pixel art
« on: December 03, 2014, 01:24:46 AM »
I was just wondering if anyone could give me some advice/tips about pixel art and the best way to go about making character in pixel form. I know some people say its pretty easy compared to normal drawling styles but it can get annoying with sizing and adding in details like eyes, but I’m really new to this so I don’t really have a clue. So any advice would help me out.

Question

1.   What’s the best software to do Pixel art on? I have manga studios 5 and I think it can do pixel art on there but I was wondering if there’s any better software out there for pixel art
 
2.   Where do you start the character? I heard that starting with the eyes was the best way to go about but I was also told starting with the body, head, or the smallest details was also a good idea

3.   What’s a good sizing for characters n x n? I know it probably depends on my preference but what’s the normal sizing of pixelated characters

10
Develop Your Story / Look for comments/help on my new story
« on: October 30, 2014, 11:59:47 PM »
So I have a story idea that I’ve been working on for a little bit now and I was just wondering if I could get so feedback on the plot/characters.

 The story will take place in a medieval time period and will contain elements from a fantasy stories like giant animals, different races of human, maybe magic, and other things that are normally in fantasy stories.
The plot will be heavily based around a group of Gods and a Goddess referred to as the Five in the realm of men. The people that live in the realm of men view the Five as their savors and worship them in the hopes that the Five will continued to watch over them and protect them from an ancient enemy called the Horde. Most people in the realm just pray to the Five but there are a few men and women that offer their very lives to the Five and subject themselves into indentured servitude for the rest of their lives.

These men and women are called Holy Souls and the story’s plot will initially follow a group of Holy Souls and the events that happen around them. The Holy Souls will initially start out together and then breakup into smaller groups that will be located in different parts of the realm with some of their plots intertwining with one another. Each of the Holy Souls’ plots will represent issues in their parts of the realm like wanting to overthrow the King, becoming their own independent Kingdom, religious wars, fighting each other, trying to fix the realm, and fight the Horde.
       
The Five (Four Gods and one Goddess) and I have not decided on all of their names yet:   

Spoiler
1.   Vantose- the God of Wisdom/ represented by the color blue/male (Saved the people of the Western Isles  from natural disasters)
•   Divine-Theron/male/weapon mace/ symbol, eagle

2.   Genis- the God of the Realm/ represented by the color green/male (Saved the people of Giants Forest by killing the giants that lived there)
•   Divine-Green/female/weapon bow/ symbol, deer

3.   Red- the God of Law/ represented  by the color red/male (Made the Kingdom’s laws and set up the “foundations” for the Kingdom itself)
•   Divine-Red/female/weapon dagger/ symbol, ox

4.   White- the God of Strength/ represented by the color white/male (Cleared the Northern Mountains of the Horde and closed their “gates” to the surfaces, expect for one).
•   Divine-White/male/weapon sword and a shield/ symbol, dragon


5.   Gold- the God of Power/ represented by the color gold/female (Cleared the Horde around the Capital of the Kingdom and also cleared the southern planes from the Horde as well).
•   Divine- Gold/unknown/weapon long sword/ symbol, phoenix

Characters and their history (Their names are just place holder for the moment):

Spoiler
I.   Characters from the Northern Mountains
1.   Alex- Alex was born and raised in the Northern Mountains and has seen the horror first hand of what the Horde can do if left unchecked.  A small number of Hordes dug through their mountain prison and breached the surface and caused trouble for the people of the North. Once the Horde was spotted on the surface Holy Souls were dispatched from the Seven Gates of Hell to find both the Horde and the Hole they crawled out of and destroy them. However, the Holy Souls did not stop the group of Hordes in time to save a small village of common folk that were massacred by the Horde leaving only one survivor. The survivor was a small boy named Alex that hide under the deceased bodies of his family. Since that day Alex has been training to become a Holy Soul at a local temp that took him in. Since that day Alex has only thought about getting revenge for his family by becoming a Holy Soul and fighting the Horde at the Seven Gates of Hell. (Holy Soul Warrior)
 
2.   Carter- Cater was also born and raised in the Northern Mountains but he has a very different past from Alex. Carter was born of Noble birth so he never had to worry about the horrors of the real world. Until one day his father sent him off to study to become a Holy Soul at the same temple that Alex was living. Both Alex and Carter become good friends studying the words of the Five as they prepare themselves for their future in the real world. However, unlike Alex, Carter lived under constant pressure from his father do to his desire for more influence in the North. Carter’s father wanted him to become a Holy Soul so that he may one day protect the Royal Family as a Holy Knight (A rank in the military that is given to those who protect the Royal Family). Once Carter achieves this rank his family’s name will be known throughout the North thus increasing his father’s influence and power. (Holy Soul Warrior)

•   Carter has a family a wife named Kate and a son named Felix that he will take with him on his journeys   

II.   Characters from the Southern Planes
1.   Taylor-Taylor was born and raised in the Southern Plains and has never lived the life of a normal girl do to her harsh father. Taylors’s father wanted a boy for his first child too represent his family’s name but instead he received a baby girl that he saw as weak and incent. As Taylor grew older her farther forced her into things like sword training, archer, hunting, and many other thing that young ladies were never aloud that do, but Taylor’s farther aloud it because he wanted to shape her into the son he always wanted. When she became of age to study for the rank of Holy Soul her father force her into it so that she may become a great military leader and become the son he always wanted.
       
2.   Noah- Is the ruling Noble in the Southern Plains and has many faithful Nobles followers by his side and is extremely powerful. Noah also has a daughter name Taylor and a son named John. (Holy Souls Scholar)

3.   John- John was born and raised in the Southern Plains and is Taylor’s younger brother. Unlike Taylor John has received great praise from their father and has been selected to be the next family patriarch.


III.   Characters from the Western Isles
1.   Jared- Jared was born and raised in the Capital City but his blood line comes from the Western Isles were his family is still one of the strongest houses in the Isles. Jared’s ancestors are one of the fellow that saw Vantose‘s Divine Theron when he was sent down from the Heaven to save the people of the Western Isles. Since then his family has ruled a large islanded in the Isles and have gained a great sense of pride in their people’s ability to be independent from the main land. Jared hopes to return home to his people one day for he hates the Nobles in the Capital for their greed and their lust of power over others. (Holy Soul Scholar) 

•   Jared has family a wife named Victoria, and daughter named Erica, and a son named Andrew and Jared is planning on taking them home to see the land of their ancestors.

IV.   Characters from the Giants Forest
1.   Sarah and Mason are brother and sister and have lived most of their childhood lives in the Giants Forest alone. When they were found entering the Capital of Giants Forest for food the people were shocked that two small children had survived out in the forest for as long as they did. After they had returned to society Sarah and Mason were both put into the Holy Soul study, for the people of Giants Forest saw them as the son and daughter of the great God Genis. Now the brother and sister carry the weight of the people of Giants Forest on their shoulders and are expected to lead their people to greatness.
 
V.   Characters from the Capital
1.   Queen Emily has been ruling the kingdom alongside her husband for ten years and has seen her people lose faith in both the Five and the Royal Family. Both Queen Emily and her husband are doing the best they can to restore the people’s faith in the Five but they have started losing influence do to the growing number of people that wish to pick a rule chosen by the people and not the Five.

•    Queen Emily has only one son to carry on her named Jensen who is in the top branch of the military

Unedited sample of my story. 
Spoiler
A loud knocking sound on the door wakes up Felix from his sleep and when he answers the door he see a normal looking man standing at the door. “Hello young master Felix. Did I wake you, sir?” Felix looks the man head to toe and says “If you are looking for money servant you will see none from me.” The man is quick to respond to Felix’s remark, “I don’t seek money my young lord, and I’m not a servant but instead I’ll be your new bodyguard for the rest of your stay in the Capital.” Felix has a small smile come over his face, “What type of bodyguard does not wear armor or even a carrier a sword?” Once again the man is quick to respond, “The ones that have no such need for armor or weapons my lord.” Felix’s smile goes away, “Fine then what do you want with me.” The man says while stepping into Felix’s family’s quarters, “Just to worry you that the Capital is not a safe place for you or your family my lord.” Felix looks slightly angry “Is this why you woke me from my sleep?” The man smiles “So you already known that the Capital is dangers, I see?” Felix look even more angry “Is that all” Once again the man is quick to respond, “Then why did you let a stranger into your families quarters my lord?”

 Felix face becomes still, “Because you are no threat to me.” The man steps closer to Felix, “Why? Is it because I said that I was your body guard Felix?” Felix starts to back up to his room, “No it’s because you are not armed and I know I can beat a man that has no weapons!” The man closes the door to the room, “But like I said Felix, I’m the type of bodyguard that does not need weapons or armor to complete his mission.” Felix turns to make a run for his room when the man reaches out and grabs Felix’s arm and pulls Felix into him. The man holds Felix there for a second and then releases him from his grip. The man smiles, “My lord you are simple just too trusting to live in the Capital.” Felix runs backwards to the wall and when he hits it he drops to the floor. The man stands over Felix, “You are truly Carter’s son Felix.” Felix quickly checks his body for a wound, “Why did you come here!” The man smiles, “Just to tell you that the Capital is a dangerous place my lord and that you are never safe around those you trust the most.”

 Felix does not respond out of fear of what might happen to him. The man crouches down to look Felix in the eyes, “You and me are going to be very good friends one day my lord but for now I most take my leave.” The man stands up and goes to open the door, but before he leaves he turns to Felix and says, “When you think your life has ended come find me young master Felix.” After Felix finds no wound he stands up and yells at the man that has closed the door behind him, “Who are you, so I can have my father take your head!” The man responds from the other side of the door, “When you coming looking for me Felix ask for the 'Man of Songs', and then I’ll find you.” Felix runs to his father’s room and grabs a sword from his armor set and runs into the hallway, “Where is he. Where did he go? D*mm*t where did he run to?” Felix looks down the empty hallways around him as he slowly lowers his sword and moves back into his room.

Thanks,
GoneEmpty

11
Manga Writers wanted / Looking for an Artist and maybe a Co-Writer
« on: October 13, 2014, 11:02:55 PM »
Hi MR,

   So as you can probably tell by the subject, that I’m looking for an artist to help me out with a new manga idea. If you’re an artist and you are interested please be able to do the following:

1.   Be able to show me some of your past work

2.   Know that you can draw the two following scenes well or actually draw them (The drawling part is not required but it could help. Most of the settings I’ll leave up to the artist to design, as long as it contains certain thing that are important to the plot and are well done):

•   First setting, a faraway view- A valley formed by three large snowy mountains and in between the mountains there is a rive, a dirt road, and a town/festival in the middle of the valley also in the middle of the night. 

•   Second setting, a close-up view- A group of men and women wear anything from light/heavy armor to robes and they are all riding on horseback down a muddy road in the middle of the night.

3.   I can’t pay you so that’s a thing

4.   Be at less 17 years old or older

If I do decide to get a co-writer please keep in mind that 1, 3, 4 still apply to you. 

The story will take place in a medieval time period and will contain elements from a fantasy stories like giant animals, different races of human, magic, and other things that are normally in fantasy stories. The story’s plot will revolve around many different characters all seek different things like power, knowledge, revenge, fame, and other thing like that. Most of these characters will all live in one country that is separated into five smaller “states” that have their own history, culture, and beliefs. Then as time goes on this kingdom will being to be tested by war, revolts, and other things, so if this sounds interesting to you and you would like to help me please feel free to pm me.

Oh, and if you do decide to help me keep in mind that I may not always be around due to the fact that I attend university. So, this project may take a bit to finish. 

Thanks,
GoneEmpty
 

12
Develop Your Story / Looking for tips on my story "The Devil Within"
« on: September 21, 2014, 08:34:33 PM »
Hi MR,

Sorry for the repost. Just had to fix some issues in the story and wanted to add a little more.

It's a horror/psychological thriller (maybe a manga or a short story)

Summary of the story so far.

A young boy name Alex goes through a tragic event where he loses his father, mother, and sister to a house fire. Alex become mentally scarred from this event and is sent to a Mental Hospital in a big city where he meets a kind doctor name Dr. Delgado. Alex will spend three years of his life in the hospital and spends one year out of the hospital with meeting with Dr. Delgado. During this time Alex adapts to a normal life while trying to deal with his past. On the anniversary of his families passing he plans to meet with his grandparents to go to their tombstones to show respect. However, while Alex was visiting his family’s tombstone he has a mental breakdown and being to "dream" about that night when his family died. Alex blames himself for everything that happened that night and especially for his little sister’s death. Alex tells no one about his mental breakdown and goes home after visiting his family tombstone. Early in the next morning Alex receives a phone call saying that his grandparents have both passed away and now Alex is truly alone.

Alex then moves back to his hometown where he will deal with his issues or may not.

Spoiler
“The Devil Within”
Nothing Happens by Chance

Setting- In the middle of the night in a small town in Japan, there was a two story house that laid in darkness. The family of four that lived in the house was sound asleep when an electrical fire started in their living room. The family’s fire alarms failed to go off for some reason as the fire engulfed the rest of the first floor. The smoke from the fire rushes up to the second floor and enters a room with a door that was left open. The room belongs to a young boy named Alex that is currently in middle school and likes to leave his windows open at night.

Alex- Mom… Dad… What’s burning?

Action- Alex rubs his eyes as he gets out of his bed to turn on his lights.

Alex- (Coughs) What time is…

Action- Alex turns on the lights in his room and sees a thick black cloud of smoke entering through his open door. He quickly crouches to the floor to avoid breathing in the toxic smoke and grabs a piece of clothing off the floor to cover his mouth. Alex crouch walks into the hallway and goes towards his six years old little sister’s room.

Alex (while crouch walking to his sister’s room)- MOM, DAD FIRE!! FIRE!!

Action- Alex reaches his sister’s door and tries to open her door. However, Alex can’t get the door to budge to his sister’s room. Alex tries to call out to her.

Alex- EMA ARE YOU OK?

Emily-…

Alex- EMA. EMA!!

Action- Alex starts slamming the door when Alex’s Dad and Mom open their bedroom door can quickly rush to Emily’s room.

Alex’s Dad- Is Emily still in there?

Alex- I don’t know! She won’t answer me!

Alex’s Mom- EMILY ARE YOU IN THERE!! ANSWER ME!!

Setting inside of Emily’s room- Emily has wrapped herself up in her covers while holding a pink stuffed rabbit. When she hears her mother calling her she remove the cover from her face and says…

Emily- Mommy?

Alex’s Mom- Emily, thank God!

Emily-Mommy!! I’m scared!! I can’t see you!!

Alex’s Mom- We’re coming honey don't worry! Mommy and Daddy are right outside your door.

Alex’s Dad- Emily wait for us on your bed… and cover your face with your PJ’s, ok.

Emily- O...Ok

Action- Alex’s Dad stands up and begins to ram door with his entire body. The door does not budge.

Alex’s Dad- D*mm*t! Emily I know I told you to wait on your bed but can you go to your door and see if there's something in the way.

Emily- Ok…

Action- Emily drops out of her bed holding her pink rabbit and slowly crawls to her door.

Emily- A huge piece of wood is in the way.

Alex’s Dad- …Did it fall from your ceiling?

Action- Emily looks up at her ceiling to see if the wood feel from there, and she sees a huge hole in the ceiling.

Emily- There a big hole in the roof.

Alex’s Mom- If that’s a beam…

Alex’s Dad- Alex take your mom outside and wait for me and Emily.

Alex- I’m not leaving without Ema!

Alex’s Dad- GO!

Action- Alex’s Mom grabs Alex’s hand and takes him down the hallway and down the stairs to the front door. When they reach the door a loud bang rings throughout the house.

Alex’s Mom- Alex go outside and wait for me. I’m going to check on your dad.

Alex- I’m going with you!

Alex’s Mom- NO!! Stay outside and wait for me.

Setting- Alex goes outside and runs to the street to see if any first responders have arrived and his mom runs back upstairs to check on his dad. A minute has gone by and no one has come out of the burning house yet. Alex looks to Emily’s window to see if he can tell what’s going on. He sees a figure in the window that is obscured by the smoke. The figure reaches for the bottom of the window to open it and Alex takes off run to the window.

Alex- Emily jump out the window, I’ll catch you!

Action- While Alex is run to the house a loud crack ring through the air and the suddenly the house caves in. The figure along with the house disappears into a pile of burning wood.

Alex- EMAAAA!!! (The right half of Alex’s body is violently jerked backwards)

Setting- A long piece of wood has flown from the house and impaled Alex’s right shoulder. Alex collapses on the ground in front of is burning house. The last thing he hears and sees is the sound of sirens coming towards him and his family home in a pile of burning ashes. Alex fades in and out of consciousness and only sees the inside of an ambulance, rushing through a hospital, an ER sign, and then his grandparents next to his bed in the hospital.

Four Years Later

Setting- A sound of a cell phone ringing echoes through a single apartment and the call ID says Dr. Delgado (A phycologist at a mental hospital).

Alex- Hello Dr. Delgado, how are you today?

Dr. Delgado- I’m do well Alex how about you?

Alex- Feel better each day doctor.

Dr. Delgado- Well that good to hear, but you know why I’m calling you, right.

Alex- Yes ma’am today is the anniversary of that tragic day…

Dr. Delgado- Do you have any planes to meet with your grandparents?

Alex- Yes actually, I’m going to meet them in my hometown for lunch and then we’re going to go to their tombstones to show our respects.

Dr. Delgado- It good that you acknowledge what happen that day and that you are willing to take it on one step at a time.

Alex- Yah, slowly but surely I’m copping with it better each year.

Dr. Delgado- Well I’m glad to hear that from you Alex. It quite clear to me that you’ve made great improvements on your mental health since you’ve left the hospital a year ago.

Alex- Thank you, for the kind words Dr. Delgado and I have felt like I’ve made good improvements when it comes to my past to.

Dr. Delgado- On a side note, how do you like living alone now for a whole year?

Alex- It’s been great. As you already known I got a new job at a restaurant and I’m dating a girl from my high school for half a year now and I still loving my small apartment.

Dr. Delgado- Good to hear as always Alex. Well I’ll be calling tomorrow morning to see how everything is going and then we’re back on to our normal meetings calls every Sunday.

Alex- Ok, then I’ll be expecting your phone call tomorrow morning and then we’re back to normal. Alright, is that all Dr. Delgado?

Dr. Delgado- Yes that all Alex.

Alex- Well, then have a nice day doctor.

Dr. Delgado-You to Alex and good luck.

Setting- The phone call ends and Alex gets ready to take the train to meet his grandparents in his hometown for lunch. The train arrives in Alex’s hometown ten minutes early so he sits on a bench outside the station and wait for his grandparents to come and pick him up. While Alex sits on the bench he sees his middle school friends riding by on their bike but Alex does not call out to them as they rode past. Then Alex gets picked up by his grandparents and taken out to lunch to a local restaurant.

Alex’s Grandfather- So how’s life in the big cities Alex?

Alex- Loud and busy but at the same time the city is very peaceful.

Alex’s Grandma- I can’t imagine how you sleep at night with all that noise.

Alex- You get uses to it, almost like a fan on at night while you sleep.

Action- Alex’s Grandma looks to be a little anxious and seems like she has something to say.

Alex- What is it Grandma, you look like you’ve got some big secret you want to tell me?

Alex’s Grandma- It not that honey, it’s just that…

Alex’s Grandfather- We got a new dog last week.

Action- Alex’s Grandfather looks at Alex’s Grandmother with a deep stair and looks slightly angry.

Alex-Real what type of breed did you get!?

Alex’s Grandfather-I think it name is Husky.

Alex-Oh, is it the breed of dog that pull the salads in the snow right?

Alex’s Grandfather- Yah that’s the one and her name is Spike.

Alex- Why Spike if you don’t mind me asking?

Alex’s Grandfather- She got a tail that look as sharp as a spike so Spike.

Action- Alex’s Grandma cuts in…

Alex’s Grandma- No, that wasn’t want I wanted to tell you. I wanted to ask you if you will be alright doing this visit?

Action- Alex’s Grandfather’s face suddenly goes to happy to angry while Alex’s face stays the same. 

Alex’s Grandma- Alex, just last year you were too afraid to come out here but now your fine?

Alex’s Grandfather-What are you trying to say? That he should of staid home and acted like it never happen?

Alex’s Grandma- No, Alex look, I just don’t want you to rush this ok. You’ve only been out of the hospital for a year now and this is your first time you’re seeing their tombstones. I’m just nervous that you’ll have some type of relapse or something.

Alex’s Grandfather- He’ll have to do this at some point in his life so way not now with two people that loved him since he was born.

Alex’s Grandma- I just don’t want to lose him again.

Alex’s Grandfather- He…

Alex- Look you two, I known you’re both thinking of what would be best for me and I’m truly great fully for that. But yes Grandma, I’m afraid of what might happen when I see their tombstones for the first time but sooner or later I need to move past this point in my life before it consumes me. So I’m choosing to do this for my own sake despite my fears.

Alex’s Grandma- But we can wait Alex. It doesn’t have to be on the day of it anniversary does it?

Alex- No it does have to be today grandma. However, if I overcome today than I can finally say that I’ve past that tragic day and I can leave it were it should stay. In the past…

Action- Alex’s Grandfather looks at Alex and seems to be happy for him while Alex’s Grandmother begins to cry.

Setting- They finish their meals in silence and then head to where Alex’s family tombstones are located. When they arrive they spend a little time looking for the stones and when they find the stones they all look at them quietly. Alex’s Grandparents say a few words and then bow and leave (leaving Alex alone at his family’s tombstones). Alex drops to both his knees before their tombstones and looks up to their names.

Alex thinks to himself- Why me? Why am I alive? Why did you take Ema from me? Why did you take my parents from me? Why, why ,why…

Action- Alex begins to cry while bring up his hands to whip of his tears.

Alex thinks to himself- I could have done more. I could’ve helped my dad open Ema’s door. I could’ve tried to have my mom stay with me outside. But most of all, I COULD’VE RAN FASTER TO EMA’S WINDOW! She didn’t open the window to jump because I wasn’t there to catch her. I WAS TO SLOW! SHE DIED BECAUSE I WAS TOO WEAK. I FAILED EVERYONE! AS AN OLDER BROTHER AS A SON, I FAILED THEM ALL. WHY ME! WHY AM I ALIVE!

Action- Alex suddenly falls to the ground and has a flashback to right before his family home collapse.

Setting- Alex is standing in his front yard watching his house burn down, when he suddenly remembers that Emily is in her window wait for Alex to catch her. Alex takes off running to her window and is screaming…

Alex- EMA DON’T WORRY I’LL CATCH YOU!

Setting- However, this time around in Alex’s dream there is no smoke block out the dark figure in the window and Alex can clearly see Ema standing in the window. Ema’s lips are moving but Alex can’t hear her because he’s still too far away but he can tell what she says by the way her lips move.

Emily- Hurry up big brother…

Alex was screaming- Emily jump out the window, I’ll catch you!

Emily reaches for the windows bottom- But I’m afraid of…

Setting- The house caves in on itself an again and Alex is hit with the wood again which wakes him up. Alex wakes up in front of his family’s tombstones in a cold sweat and holding the part of his shoulder that was hit with the wood. Alex stands up and wipes the sweat of his face and bows to his family’s tombstones and says…

Alex- I’m sorry Emily I was not fast enough to save you and no matter how many times I try I will never forgive myself for that.

Setting- Alex turn away from the tombstones and walks out to meet his Grandparents.

Alex’s Grandma- Well Alex, how are you feeling?

Alex- I’m still not over it but I think I have made great progress today.

Alex’s Grandparents- That great Alex!

Alex-You think?

Alex thinks to himself- They don’t need to know, right?  It probably best if they don’t know, and besides I can control these memories and know they are no longer on my mind every day. I'm fine. 

Action- Alex’s Grandparents give him a huge and congratulate him on his final steps of recovery and then they get back in their cars and take Alex to the train station.

Setting- Alex is back home in his single apartment and getting ready to go to bed for the night. After Alex has fallen asleep he gets a call early in the morning with by a unknown man.

Alex-… Hello?

Unknown- Hello, are you Alex Carter?

Alex- Yes I’m Alex Carter. Who is calling me at 9 AM on a Sunday morning?

Unknown- This is Deputed Marcuse from North Fields (Alex’s hometown), and I’m call to report the passing of your Grandparents.

Action- Alex face turns completely white with horror as a face of uncertainty overcomes him.

Alex-W...Wh…What…?

Deputed Marcuse- They were found deceased this morning by members of their church group when they missed a meeting and were concerned about them.

Alex W…Wh…What?

Deputed Marcuse- The community of North Field is mourning with you Alex and we are sorry for our lost.

Alex-…

Deputed Marcuse- Alex? Are you still there?

Alex- Yes…

Deputed Marcuse- Do you want to give you a number to call for support?

Alex- No… Thank you though. Is that all?

Deputed Marcuse- Alex will you be ok?

Alex- Yes… is that all?

Deputed Marcuse- Yes, I’m sorry for your lose.

Action- Alex hangs up the phone and sits in his bed for about an hour. Then the phone ring and the caller ID say Dr. Delgado and Alex just lets it go to voice mail.

Setting- Little past 6 PM now and someone is knocking on Alex’s door. Alex has yet to get out of his bed and shows no sights of wanting to answer the door. Then the person behind the door says…

Unknown- Alex are you in there? It’s Dr. Delgado.

Alex-…

Dr. Delgado- I’m coming in, ok?

Action- Alex hears the doors unlock and then footsteps entering his apartment.

Dr. Delgado- Alex?

Action- She walks around Alex’s apartment looking for him and then she opens the door to Alex’s bed room. When the door opens Alex suddenly breaks down and cries. Dr. Delgado runs over to Alex’s bed and sits next to him.

Dr. Delgado- It’s ok Alex… I’m here now… It’s ok…. I heard the new when I got home and rushed over here.

Alex- I’m alone now…. They looked fine yesterday… I don't understand?

Dr. Delgado- Alex you’re not alone, I’m here right?

Alex-…

Action- Dr. Delgado goes and huge Alex and lets him cry on her shoulder for a few hours.

Alex- What do I do now?

Dr. Delgado- You take as much time as you need Alex and I’m going to be right by your side until the very end.
 
Action- Alex looks at Dr. Delgado and wipes his face with his shirt as he stops crying and says…

Alex- You will never leave Dr. Delgado? 

Dr. Delgado- Alex I’ve known you for four years and I would never leave you alone because I see you as my on flesh and blood.

Alex (starts to cry again)-…Thank you…


Thank you,
GoneEmpty

13
Welcome Center / Hello Everyone!
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:07:31 PM »
Hello everyone, my name is Matt and I’m a writer from the USA.

I’m a big fan of manga and anime and I've been writing short stories for a while now and would like to try to improve my skills through MR. 

Some of my favorite anime are One Piece, Sword Art Online, Akame ga Kill and many others.

14
Manga Writers wanted / Looking for a Co-Writer and an Artist
« on: September 09, 2014, 10:47:34 PM »
Hello,

I’m looking for a co-writer and an artist for a story I just recently thought up, titled “The Devil Within”. It takes place in a smallish town in Japan and it will be a horror/psychological thriller manga.

1st Section
 
The story will revolve around a young man in collage that has gone through a tragic event in his life that has left him as the last surviving member of his family (except for his grandparents). However, when his grandparents suddenly pass way, he chooses to go back to his hometown where his family and now grandparents have all died in. On his arrival at his hometown, he promises himself that he will overcome the fears that have hunted him since the day he lost his entire family. Until he sees a familiar face…
 
I have the major points of the story mapped out but I’m weak when it comes to deciding on what should stay in and what can be drop out of the final cuts (pointless dialogue, unimportant facts, etc.). For the co-writer I’m looking for someone who can understand the story and be able to write the story as if they were in the creature’s shoes. For the artist I’m just looking for someone who can add the elements of horror/psychological thriller into their drawings. If you’re interested feel free to let me know!

PS- I’m can’t always be online and it will most likely take me a while before finishing this story.

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