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Topics - renko9thao

Pages: [1]
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Manga Creations / Second Chance at Life
« on: September 16, 2021, 07:50:24 PM »
So I posted my first story, "Densetsu: A Beautiful Day". But at the moment, I am putting that story on-hold until I have the mental strength to continue it. For the time being, I'm going to be writing a new story. It brings nothing new to the table of Isekai, it's simply an Isekai story where I can just shut my brain off and write (and that's an important value of writing, writing should not be treated as a chore). So, I hope you guys like this new story

Second Chance at Life Synopsis: In the Kingdom of Valera, Tsubasa Kazetani is selected by the knights to attend Ultiminia Academy where he would be trained to become a knight. His dream to become a hero is slowly becoming true; however, to his surprise, he is summoned by Princess Cassiopeia who tells him of his past life. In fact, the people in the room that she summoned are all of his coworkers where they were massacred during a robbery. All due to him (Tsubasa's past life) as the cashier refused to hand over the money to the robber. Failing to remember his past life, he struggles whether to chase his dream to be a hero, or to help Princess Cassiopeia and her friends to return to their old lives.

Prologue
What an unfortunate day…

For me…

The dreams I forged each day were squashed.

If only…

I wasn’t so hasty.

I didn’t need to finish them all at once.

The friends I made…

What do I say to them now?

It’s cold.

And dark.

But hey…

Did I at least become a hero?

I know...this prologue is rather vague. It's similar to my first prologue with "Densetsu: A Beautiful Day". I wanted to express that feeling of dread, of what it means to lose when it comes to reality. Y'know, real life can really punch you in the gut and sometimes you feel like you just lost all signs of hope. This is the same vibe I was hoping to go for.

2
Discussions / Densetsu: A Beautiful Day [Discussion]
« on: March 07, 2021, 10:27:10 AM »
I didn't realize this existed. I'm sorta new to this lol. I just assume you just comment directly on the thread itself.

Um, hi! Nice to meet you, I'm Renko--currently rewriting my story, Densetsu: A Beautiful Day. I've currently posted the prologue and chapter. Feel free to comment anything about my story.

I'm always looking forward to improve my writing.

Um, currently, my biggest weakness on writing is probably redundancy (already stated on my first chapter) and maybe vocabulary. But I'm sure I'll improve over time!

Densetsu: A Beautiful Day Link: http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,20707.0.html

3
Manga Creations / Densetsu: A Beautiful Day
« on: November 07, 2020, 09:55:12 PM »
This is my first time sharing a story on this website, still kinda new, so let me know if there's anything I need to fix. I'm always trying to improve myself! For now, I'm just going to share the prologue of my story. It's called the Densetsu Series. Hope you enjoy it!

Brief Summary: There resides a world that hides behind ours, separated by a mystical barrier. A utopia where humans and other beings such as fairies, yokai, and even gods live peacefully together. High in the mountain, there lives a shrine maiden who guards the border that conceals its identity from us. This world is known as Densetsu, the world of the Legends, created by the Legends.

Prologue
Just a few more steps through the hallways… the light was near. Magma illuminated the darkness. Only a bridge awaited him in the circular room.

Falling off would incinerate him in seconds. He must endure it—entering the room was enough to make his forehead sweat. But, this wasn’t the time to complain. Time was of the essence.

Sickness filled the air, and the people were caught by it. Coming from a different world, he was unaffected. He must destroy whatever was causing them to grow sick.

The dreaded hot wind from the pool of lava blew through his soul as he progressed. His hands swelled, turning red the further he continued. Oxygen became harder to grasp, his breaths shortened, and his vision nearly blurred.

Almost there…, he thought. A couple of steps into the room nearly exhausted him. How he was able to endure such heat, he didn’t know.

It would seem easy to reach the next room until he saw a young girl fall in front of him. Unlike the guards he disposed of before coming here, this one wasn’t going to be easy.

He had been warned about her after bypassing the Barrier of Makai. They relied their security on the barrier, yet they failed the extra measure of an outsider bypassing it.

It was only a matter of time when she would come—he knew what to do, searching through his pockets until he pulled out a stick.

“So you must be Project Device Type-0013 NEW?”

“Analyzing…Target…Complete…Returning into Memory Mode…” Then, her eyes opened, their gazes interlocking with each other. She met his chestnut eyes while he glared into her azure eyes. “Kotaro! Have you come here to kill me…again?”

He recalled no memories with her. Nevertheless, he knew what to do. “I’m not here to kill you. I’m here to destroy whatever is causing the smoke.”

Suddenly, NEW burst into laughter. “Oh, Kotaro! You’re so funny!”

Then her high-pitched tone shifted. “You know that can’t happen…You and I are meant to be…”

Kotaro remembered the most important warning to this battle. He mustn’t lose. Despite the fiery heat burning him, his determination to fight pushed him to his limits.

“Power Sword!” Kotaro commanded, the stick in his hand morphed into a steel sword.

NEW smirked, “Yay! Let’s have fun and kill each other again!” The high-pitched tone of her sweet and innocent voice became more sinister and evil.

Kotaro charged towards her, readying his attack.

“Project Device Gear Activate,” the girl commanded. A sword-shaped object fell between the two. A single slash from Kotaro knocked him away, causing him to drop his sword.

His hand made contact with the metal floors. Absorbing the heat from below, Kotaro groaned roughly—yet he remained calm and endured the pain. Picking himself and his sword, he watched the giant sword disperse into pieces of armor for NEW.

Her cloak disappeared, replaced by a thick azure suit with gray metal shoulder plates. Two sharp steel appeared in NEW’s hand, and their battle commenced.

Swords clashed into a shower of sparks. NEW’s laughter filled the battle. She attempted to finish the fight by impaling her opponent.

Luckily, Kotaro kicked her away from him, resulting in her to lose balance.

Now’s my chance! He dashed forward with a readied slash.

Then, it occurred, and it would always happen: the Infinite Loop…

No matter how what happened or how many times it changed, the conclusions remained the same. Fresh crimson stained the floors.

The days continued to repeat itself, and eventually, the two would come to meet once more in combat. In their fight, he fell into battle again, and the day would repeat again.

This was not the first of his attempts. The world went round and round, a never-ending world it became. The kaleidoscope never stopped.

“How did you…get me?” Kotaro panted as he convulsed a pool of scarlet. Unknown to him, a cold steel impaled his chest from behind.

“Summoning Technique: Undefined Saber. I thought you knew I was bound to use Skills for our fight,” said NEW. Smoke-like particles of energy billowed from her fingertips. “But I was wrong…”

His eyes widened, “How? You’re breaking the Skill Rules…how did you—”

It didn’t take long for him to realize that she may express signs of sentience, but she was an artificial entity.

Carelessly, she walked towards the impaled Kotaro. She hardly reacted as the sharp steel pierced through her chest. At last, they were together.

“Let’s become one, Kotaro! Let me accept you!” she exclaimed, smiling. “Engaging Project Device Type-0000 THE END…unleashing the ultimate power.”

Wrapping her arms around Kotaro, NEW jumped into the pit as she dragged his lifeless body. They burned into cinders until the pool of lava slowly changed into an emerald hue.

Behind a magical barrier, two individuals watched their battle. “And he failed once more…”

The golden-haired man rested his parasol on his shoulders. Darkness slowly corrupted the azure sky, and an eclipse emerged.

“I’ll see you again, Yuuki Nohara…” said the lady in red robes, standing next to him.

“Kamiyama Shrine Maiden, how many loops have we experienced? Even our efforts to hone his skill wasn’t enough. If not for the Barrier of Makai, we could easily help him. That machine keeps adapting.”

“This is our twentieth loop,” the tears and worries had been dried for the shrine maiden. “Kotaro…we’ll meet again.”

Interesting fact, I worked on this over 100 times--but I still don't think it's good YET. I was kinda hesitant to share my story, but I realize I needed to push my boundaries if I wanted people to read my stories. Plus, if I don't improve, I'll stagnate--and I think that's everyone's biggest fear. Anyway, thank for reading! I love to hear some feedback, and then I'll post the next few chapters every now and then!

Comments:
Feel free to comment here or through this link. I'm still new to this.
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,20776.0.html

EDIT: I shortened majority of the paragraphs to make it feel like a Light Novel. Added a few descriptions.

4
Welcome Center / New Guy Introduction
« on: October 23, 2020, 01:52:05 PM »
Hello, my name is Ryu! I'm new here, but it's nice to meet you! Found this on Google, thought it would be cool to check it out. I'm just a writer, or someone who strives to be a writer. Though, I'm an amateur. Still looking forward to improve nonetheless!

Edit: Deleted email address

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