The Durarara! anime had about the same issues as Baccano! Both shows introduced huge casts from the very start and refused to give away too much information about anybody's background or motivation for the first half of the series or so. Now, Baccano harnessed a non-linear form of storytelling, and the constant hopping around the timeline made things a hassle to keep up with at first. Fortunately, it also allowed the viewer a sneak peek at the aftermath of the main "present" storyline. This reassured the viewer that there was a very clear destination that the story was heading for, that the characters would be developed, and that you should just enjoy the ride. Baccano was a great anime, and when the series picked up it's pace (around the halfway point), everything meshed together perfectly and cohesively. It was masterfully adapted from the light novels that the series was based on.
Durarara! was based on a light novel written by the same author that had originally written Baccano, but the adaptation took the linear method of storytelling with largely the same number of characters with the same limited amount of background provided. The whole startup process felt a lot slower, as the show had to tease with a lot of exposition and introduce everybody's main motivations without giving away any of the big twists. This made the first few episodes drag on quite a bit, especially since this show used a lot more of the "awkward high school transfer student" tropes that are so common in anime. HOWEVER, right around the midpoint of the series, everything falls into place and the plot kicks into gear in a grand manner. The remainder of the series is a string of well-coordinated reveals, action scenes, and character drama that oozes good storytelling.
[Those paragraphs are relevant because...]
Now, I haven't read the new Chapter 3 yet, but I can see where Lorenx1 would draw comparisons between Dream Library and Durarara. However, I wouldn't say this is a bad thing by any strech of the imagination. I love those Guy Ritchie-esque stories that set everything up for the long haul only to have an extended whiz-bang climax. I'm also excited to see somebody trying to pull off that brand of story here on MR, where I can watch the whole thing unfold (and to maybe have some kind of influence, if I'm feeling narcissistic).
If I could make one request, though: Since you're not using any sort of graphic storytelling or novel-like extended descriptions, could you please post a brief list of characters and some short descriptions?A kind of "Dramatis Personae" would be great for your story's scriptlike structure. It doesn't even have to give information on characters' backgrounds, but a short descriptor of their physical appearance. As I read your work, I think it would be easier to have some kind of defined mental image for these characters rather than the constantly-shifting patchwork of faces that I can't quite get a bead on.
Thanks, and keep it up!
But the thing that Durarara!! had over Dream Library is that it still tried to be a focused eastern-design story. So even if it wasn't translated well into anime, it still did a good job at it. It had a proper beginning, introducing a character, and the people he met. Even in the anime, despite being introducing a large cast, it did it in a way where you know they are important, but they don't all need to be highlighted in that moment.
Unfortunately, with Dream Library, its that its a completely different design that doesn't attempt to be manga exactly. its not that i don't see flaws, its just that the flaw is in term of direction and uncertainty that this is something Paipis wants to keep or intended (because like i said, this isn't really designed to be manga, so he could very well be saying "manga does this, so i'm going to do that")
But if i had to say, there's lack of visuals descriptions between scenes, and because of that, the story doesn't feel focused at all and feels very rushed. Usually in script, introducing the background is just as important as introducing characters, and it has been dodged almost to an extent for lack of visuals.
In the beginning of chapter 1 (which was incredibly jarring to read) we see some heavy scenes which were a dream (mixed in with some odd dialogue) it all seemed incredibly random, the story begins and we get these dates.
Some i can tell are for the reader to know in the future. but the problem with that system is that its not really meant to be shown in comic form, not every scene can be expressed through what time it occurred. and he attempts this with a dream by putting a range of when it happened. but it sort of reveals something that just not really needed to know. (it also seems to be dropped later on in the story, so it seems pointless)
and for that, its incredibly off putting. Another thing i found off putting was the naming convention when i hear on the radio that someone was killed in "darkside" avenue across "guildtower" now i understand these may be something
Again, the same issues I've seen before, how characters aren't really introduced properly to the reader. No one had called her "Sarah" yet, she's introduced in text. Another is the character "Auberon". where did he come from? who the heck is he?
things I've pointed out in the past, yet Paipis has not addressed. and this is an issue because although she introduced me to her as "Sarah" in my mind is forced to follow the visual representation that the script provides. so in my mind, she isn't "Sarah" yet until she's formally introduced as such in the story. A dream showing a character calling out the name "sarah" doesn't help.
I constantly hear the word "enact" a few times. which i know the definition, but doesn't look like everyday words you hear in conversations. it doesn't seem to be used as accurately either.
Everything in this story is revealed extremely casual, its difficult to see what is going on and i think part of it is lack of build up. but the characters tend to have no personality, it feels like they are these blank pages. i can't really understand them. some dialogue feels forced such as "may i ask what" "you may not" "are you OK" "i'm fine". its very forced in my opinion. but most older shows such as those tend to not highlight personality or distinction at all.
the simplest solution, is start at an earlier time. it just seems like we missed a chunk of the conspiracy or case to even feel familiar with it. For example: my story, Lunacy needs to introduced characters life, the common known legend and basics before entering this think known as amber moon games and lunatics.
but then again, that's my story, and Paipis is going at a completely different direction. So all this criticism could be to waste if Paipis believes this is irrelevant to his personal method of story telling.