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Author Topic: (all Iron ball will be posted here) Iron Ball  (Read 899 times)

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Offline wolf sama

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(all Iron ball will be posted here) Iron Ball
« on: June 21, 2013, 07:51:49 AM »
This is a story about  Moto  Yuudai  a man born on a planet far from earth. On his planet every person is born with  abilities that fit that person some counter others. Yuudai abilities allows him to bring the iron in his blood out through the pores in his skin and make it into orbs that he can throw at speeds surpassing that of a jet plane. Witch is use full in his line of work. Yuudai works as a full time police officer so he find the men who kidnaped his son Moto Zumi . Moto Zumi has special abilities by drinking his blood your abilities boost by 10 fold. The men are criminals wanted by the whole planet. Their leader mango raid has magnetic abilities that counter  Moto  Yuudai.(story starts here) Moto  Yuudai finds a lead from a captured criminal with dragon tattoo. as the random criminal was walking out out the door to jail  he said "as long as we have the boy we will take what we want kill who we want  an....." as Yuudai jump on the criminals makes a ball of iron the size of a basketball " WHAT BOY WHERE IS THE BOY TELL ME OR I`LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!!" then the criminal whispered in Yuudai ear "your power is no match for my leader by if you want to know go to the old bloodbank" 2  police officers run in and drag the criminal away one  police officer asked "what happen what he say Yuudai"as Yuudai put on his gloves he  said  " nothing to worry about". 1 hour later as Yuudai pulls up to the bloodbank lights flashed from the top of the top of the building " it looks like a code i dont know  what it mean but ill find out when i get up there" Yuudai gets out car and walks up to the front door and walk in a random guy yell from the front desk "THE COPS ARE HERE!!" 5 guys come from the back room then one guy steps up "my neam is mango raid the most bad a** bad guy of all time" Yuudai look at raid started to  laugh "HAHAHAHHAHA HOW OLD ARE YOU 15 HAHAHA NOOOOO WAY YOUR THE GUY HOW PICKS up 10 TON SAFES" raid started to form a ball of energy "what did you come here for" Yoodai stops laughing "are you keeping Moto Zumi here" raid toss the ball of energy into the ceiling "so your that kids dad"  Yuudai looked up at the ceiling "........this whole room is made of metal....." Yuudai strated slinging iron balls at all the guys around raid then raid grabed a blade off the desk "your power wont help you here mr.iron ball" raid bend the blade into a boomerang and throw it  at Yuudai then Yuudai barely dodge by steping back Yuudai pulled out a special made combat throwing knives Yuudai started thinking [i used up all the iron in my blood i need 30 minutes] raid started to slowly walk to Yuudai "is time to die .....mr.iron balls"  raid throw the boomerang and started runing at Yuudai ducked raid caught Yuudai while he was ducking than grabed his hands and kicked him in the gut makeing him spit up blood raid let go of Yuudai hands and kneed him through a wall leading to another room "DADDY" Yuudai looks at the wall and sees his son" son....son..SON!! WHAT THAY DO TO YOUR NOTHING BUT SINK AND BONES I CAN SEE YOUR  RIBS" Zumi looked at Yuudai "father your wearing the gloves i made for you" Yuudai looked at his hands " ya i riped them with my iron balls" then raid walked in "your son is not gonna live long" Yuudai  wiped the tears from his eyes " lets end this" huge hole started to form in Yuudai skin "BLACK IRON BLACK BALL CANNON!!!" (THIS IS YUUDAI 2ND POWER HE TAKES THE IRON FROM HIS BLOOD AND SKIN  INTO A BLACK BALL THE SIZE OF A CANNON BALL THE ONLY DOWN SIDE IS HE CAN`T FROM ANY IRON BALLS FOR A DAY) raid started to run at Yuudai "bwahahah your son will die in mare minutes but not before he sees me kill you" Yuudai launched the black ball at raid as it left his hand it  broke the sound barrier "TAKE THAT YOU CRAZY fU**" raid stop runing and put out his put out his palm and caught the iron ball with a magnetic force "i can feel your love for your son in this iron ball" raid fling the black ball back at Yuudai  then Yuudai started to think[i riped all the bones in my arm i can`t even hold my knives i can make any iron balls im gonna die] as a tear rolled down Yuudai face a golden light flashed in fort of Yuudai ...... a man with a dragon tattoo on his face and a young boy wearing a black school uniform appear in the light the man with the dragon tattoo looked at the young boy and told him "looks like we are late ara" then the young boy looked up and seen the black ball flying rite at him and open up his jacket and his stomach was a huge mouth then his   stomach swallowed the black ball ara looks at Yuudai "it seems so aron sir" aron looks at Yuudai and ask him "yo whats your name hole guy" Yuudai took a pill from a case in his pocket and swallowed it "my name is Moto Yuudai whats yours" aron looks at raid with an unhappy look no his face "ill tell you later Yuudai first ill have to take care of this guy" aron shoot lightning from his index finger hiting raid in the eye "GAH!! YOU SON OF A BI**" at that moment arons fist was inches away from raids face before raid was hit a women pushed raid out of the and she was hit instead as aron whent to punch once more she spit smoke all around the room ara heard raid and the woman flee the room Yuudai looked around the room the room but he didit see raid or the woman aron looked at Yuudai "are you ok Yuudai" Yuudai pull off the chains of Zumi and laid him on the  ground "rest in peace son" aron walked up to Yuudai and tells him "is this how people see people a tool only for use" Yuudai started to cry aron continued talking "we can help you catch raid and in return you help us with some jobs" Yuudai looked up at aron "who are you" aron took off his shirt off and the dragon tattoo started at his face and wraped around his body "im mango aron raids older brother and that woman is our older sister" Yuudai looked confused "why would are you trying to kill your own  brother" aron looked at Zumi body ara walked up to them then said "aron sir we are out of time we must go" aron  looked at Yuudai "come with us" Yuudai picked up Zumi body and started to walk to the door "ill ride in my car back to the police station " ara looked at him and told him "im sure thay just took your car on their way out" Yuudai looked back and yelled "WHY YOU LET THEM TAKE MY CAR NOW WHAT IM GONNA DO WE`ER ON THE ABANDONED SIDE OF TOWN THERE IS NO ONE FOR MILES!!" aron started to get annoyed ara aron told him "you can take my offer you" Yuudai starts to think [i walk all the way to the station holding Zumi body also i want to wrap my hands around raids neck]"ill take your offer" aron skin started to turn golden "lightning mode 2 lightning teleportation" (arons 2nd power allows him to move fast as lightning as if  he was teleporting)"ara and Yuudai grab my shoulders" soon as thay grab his shoulders thay disappeared{{{{THIS IS THE OF THIS PART I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IRON BALL PART:1}}}}
“A girl is a person who screams at the mouse and smiles at the wolf”

Offline legomaestro

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Re: (all Iron ball will be posted here) Iron Ball
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2013, 12:05:35 PM »
Grabandgo.

I said this some time back so you may have missed my message.

For stories you haven't completely developed and made into written chapters they count as developing stories so post in the board, 'Develop Your Story'.

If you are simply throwing out many story ideas then make one topic where you want your ideas discussed and/or looked at.

Do you understand?

Offline wolf sama

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Re: (all Iron ball will be posted here) Iron Ball
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2013, 01:12:11 PM »
Grabandgo.

I said this some time back so you may have missed my message.

For stories you haven't completely developed and made into written chapters they count as developing stories so post in the board, 'Develop Your Story'.

If you are simply throwing out many story ideas then make one topic where you want your ideas discussed and/or looked at.

Do you understand?
ya but this is not just a random idea is a real story
“A girl is a person who screams at the mouse and smiles at the wolf”

Offline legomaestro

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Re: (all Iron ball will be posted here) Iron Ball
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2013, 10:27:44 AM »
Cool, then you should post the chapters as you've written them.

Offline Appypollyloggies

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Re: (all Iron ball will be posted here) Iron Ball
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2013, 05:13:27 PM »
I don't wanna be mean, but wouldn't taking all the iron out of his blood make him...
Feel weak and tire out more easily.
Feel dizzy,
Be grumpy or cranky,
Have headaches,
Feel short of breath,
and have trouble concentrating?

So wouldn't he be in absolutely no shape to fight after using that power even once?

Offline GenduDakaromi

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Re: (all Iron ball will be posted here) Iron Ball
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2013, 05:25:16 PM »
Maybe instead of extracting iron from his blood, he culd just control iron in general? Or maybe he should have an abnormally high iron count? And if you don't want to sound funny, don't have people call him "Hole guy" because that sounds wrong.
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.

Winston Churchill