Well, this is an essay I did for my english class, but I think it's interesting enough.
In the outskirts of my mind lies the remnants of my former, or primitive self. He sits on a couch in my head, devours noodles and pizza, and vegetates on movies and videogames. He sulks around and he is the most apathetic, and depressing man alive. He curls up in a ball on the sofa, and you should see the visage he wears all day. Yes, He cares only about receiving as much pleasure and reward in a day as possible. There's a never ending and tiring power struggle between us that will go on forever. Whoever asserts dominance is the one who gets to experience reality. It's the difference between being the leader and being the underdog. At any moment we could switch places. If we switch places, I'll become a different person and you won't be able to recognize who I am. He does everything that provides instant reward with no effort. He tells me every day, "Who likes doing work anyways." Well, that's what separates me from him. Work is necessary so that I can achieve my goals. When I wake up in the morning on the weekend, it's a battle royal going on between us. He wants to sleep more, but I want to get things done. I need to do the activities that matter to me, but they don't give any instant gratification.
He's always there in my inner mind, lounging around, and waiting for his chance to take back the domination of our body, the container that we share. My inner mind is a world filled with pure white, as well as my thoughts, both subconscious and unconscious. Strings of text with my desires and dreams inscribed on them fly around in the air. It's really a case of whether I am able to suppress Him or not. Periodically, I weaken, and feel like it's too hard to go on any longer. It just takes too much effort, going to school at the break of dawn until late in the afternoon. I'd then have homework waiting, and after I finish that homework, I'd draw. It's times like these where I am most vulnerable to the desires of Him. When I come home from an extraordinarily exhausting day of school, I start hanging off a cliff between sleep and consciousness. I plop down on my comfy red sofa and sleep with my dog. It's really hard to get out of that tendency. Videogames and comics seem incredibly delightful in these times. He'll tell me, "Come on, play some videogames! All your friends play videogames. You're the only one who doesn't. Come on, it'll be fun."
And I just have to shut out all that nonsense He tries to use against me. I try to keep my eyes hungry, like a tiger circling its prey with dilated pupils before it pounces. When you want something so passionately, that in the morning you wake up and all you want is that thing, your perspective on life changes. And when that thing you want is something thousands of other people want as well, you need to be ready to climb over every obstacle in existence. You need to jump over every hurdle, or at least, make attempts to. When I'm not working at my craft, someone else out there is, and they are getting ahead of me while I slack around. Every hour spent practicing creates a difference. That difference is like a small little Lego piece, and when you add up all those little Lego pieces, you end up with a vibrant, magnificent skyscraper. The last thing I want is to have failed because I didn't work hard enough to achieve my goals. This might be the only reason that I am able to utterly and overpoweringly suppress that side of me that feeds on the pleasures. The person that allows their instincts and their desires to take over, is who I used to be, but is still evidently part of me. And He not only still exists within me, but I have to exert pressure on him constantly, like a wrestler holding down his opponent for a pin with a roaring crowd all around him.
Topic: Write some interesting essays here! (Read 2162 times)
