I understand what you mean, Demi but I don't think Hasitha and Ryoukin are worried about their identity when they take a glance at yaoi.
I have the same reaction when Hasith sends me hentai or yuri pictures for fun (in revenge for the site story) but I read lemon, yuri and yaoi fanfics and I'm not afraid of it. I just don't like hentai or yuri pictures( from Hasitha).
It doesn't make me worried about who I am, it's just not my thing. It's the same reaction when my mother wants me to eat something I dislike or totally hate. It don't consider it as threatening or horrible, I just consider it as "not for me".
People are different, some like yaoi, yuri, some don't like it, so I think being tolerant is accepting that people may like those things, or hate it.