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Offline Coach Fro

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The Other Fro: Arc one
« on: November 05, 2012, 12:32:16 AM »
Finally got off my lazy butt and decided to write something for once. This will be my first MR Canon on the forum which I'm excited and nervous about at the same time. I hope I don't screw up. I really don't know how long is this is gonna be but, im pretty sure it won't be that long.

Alright here goes! The first chapter of my First ever MR Cannon. I hope you guys enjoy.

    The Other Fro: Arc 1
       
Chapter One: Say it ain’t Fro

    Far away in the deserted areas of the internet, lies a city of fallen beauty. It seemed something like that of a ghost town. One that had seen better days. The City was small in size. Broken buildings and flickering street lights adorned the place. The night air was cold and gentle winds blew on occasion. Dead center of the city was a giant bell tower that rung loudly. Adding to the already gloomy atmosphere of the town.
   
 It used to be a place for gatherings of all anime and manga lovers alike. Where people can hang out and have all have all types of jolly fun. It all seemed so perfect. Too bad the city got invaded though. Spam ninjas, trolls and other creatures of the sort wrecked the place. And the once peaceful and gorgeous looking city was now home to the rejected monsters of the internet.
   
So why is this city important you may ask? Well, it has no importance really. The only thing important here is the guy walking through the city streets.
   
He was light skinned black male most likely in his teenage years. His style of clothing looked reminiscent of a yin-yang symbol. He wore a very fancy unzipped black and white leather jacket with a black t-shirt underneath, loose black jeans, two gauntlet gloves one white and black, and black and white gym shoes. Indeed, these were very interesting features. However, what really stood out was his perfectly round and large Afro.

The kid had many names such as: “The Awesome One”, “The Afro-Haired Spectacle”, “The Best in the World”, etc. However, most people simply know him as Fronomenal.

Fro had been strolling through the ruined city with a pen and a plain white book in hand. He recently had finished visiting his family in the south and decided to do some sightseeing. So why would he pick such a dangerous city to explore? Who knows? Fro sure as hell didn’t. 
   
 The book he was carrying was entitled, “The One thousand Techniques of the Fronomenal One,” which was his personal book of countless battle techniques he had created. Flipping the book to an empty page, he began writing a short description of a technique he recently developed. He then drew a stickman sketch next to the description which demonstrated the technique. He was a horrible artist, but at least his stickman pictures were decent enough.
   
 Closing his book, he looked up only to see a couple of spam ninja inches away from him. They were the usual looking ninja and they all carried cliché weaponry such as katanas, daggers, and other ninja like assortments. As menacing as their appearance was, Fro wasn’t too worried. In fact he was quite happy. He needed something to relieve him of his boredom and these ninja were just what he needed to accomplish that.

   After putting away his book in the pocket inside of his jacket, he stretched out his right arm forward. Greeting the monsters that were getting ready to kill him.

“Hey you worthless spam ninja! How yall doing tonight?”
   
 The spam ninja grunted angrily at Fro as if they actually understood what he said. Suddenly, one ninja from the pack lashed at Fro and swung its blade vertically across his head. Fro however, managed to dodge the strike quickly enough and jumped back a safe enough distance.

“Aw come on why you guys have to be like that?” He said disappointed. “Besides you guys should be happy you found me. Because that means I get to rid you guys of your meaningless existences. Doesn’t that sound awesome?
   
The spam ninja didn't like the sound of Fro’s idea. In fact, they were quite furious about it.  Waving their swords wildly in the air, they charged at him while letting out distinct battle cries.

“Hmph, I guess not.”

In the midst of their attack the ninja were somehow frozen in place. Little did they know, Fro had already phased through them like a ghost through a wall and rendered them unable to move. Before they could even begin to comprehend what had just happened to them, they disintegrated into mere pixel dust.
   
 Fro continued his exploration of the city letting out a yawn here and there. As he traversed the damaged landscape, he began hear moans, groans, and howls of that nature from every part of the city he passed by. Of course as usual, Fro didn’t seem bothered by what he heard.
   
Deeper into the city, the sounds began to get louder and soon enough, the creatures that were making these odd noises began to reveal themselves. Spam ninjas and trolls started to appear out of every street corner and alleyway imaginable. The entire city was eventually enveloped by these monsters.

    But, did Fro care? Not really. He was actually already in the process of taking out the horde that was front of him. He rushed through the frontal horde like a wild bull. Smacking away spam ninja with his fist and slicing trolls in half with tendrils of hair that spawned from his Afro. A few dead ninjas later, Fro arrived at the exit of the city.
   
Originally, Fro wanted to just leave the city without taking care of the swarm behind him. Laziness almost consumed him, but he knew better. It would be too dangerous to let them roam free. His placed his left hand on his chin and began pondering in thought.

“Hmm… Just how am I going take care of all these worthless pest? Oh, I know!”
   
 Using his right hand, he reached into his Afro and plucked out an abundance of hair strands and tossed them into the air. The wind scattered them and they eventually landed in random places across the city.
    Seconds later, the army of ninja trolls began to close in on Fro. Despite how close they were, Fro was not at all troubled. As they reached the city’s gates, Fro nonchalantly turns his back towards the swarm and smiles.

“See ya!”

With the snap of a finger, Fro detonated the strands of hair he had spread earlier, setting off a humongous explosion that destroyed the already ruined city and the ninja trolls along with it. Shortly after the explosion, the city was engulfed in flames and layers of smoke formed a giant skull with crossbones in the sky. Fro walked away silently with his hands in his pockets. Not even bothering to look back at the destruction he had caused.

 
  After days of sightseeing and unnecessary madness, Fro finally returned to the place he calls his second home: MR City. It was beautiful morning in MR City and everything was quiet as usual. He always thought of MR as one of the weirdest yet coolest looking places he had ever laid eyes upon. It’s uniquely divided structure as well as its thousands of towering skyscrapers left him in awe no matter how many times he examines the city.

“Aw good old MR.” He said breathing in the fresh air”
 
  Fro decided to take a quick walk along the city. He passed by a couple of districts and greeted the some of the newer members of MR. Fro had been an member of the MR community for almost a year now, but to him it really didn’t feel that way. He always did think that time in MR passes by so fast. Then again, he never paid too much attention to time in general.
   
 Feeling thirsty, Fro thought it would be a good idea to stop by one of his favorite places in MR: The Pub. Stepping through the pub’s doors, he found the place to be much livelier than usual. It was filled with MR’s more famous members and a few newbies as well. Everlasting, Rojas, Roshon, Nexuun and Jack were playing poker at a table near the entrance. Monster and Toasty were going at it in a game of pool near the back end of the pub. Coryn and Lego were chugging beers and talking about old times at another table. And Musik was busy serving as a bartender at the counter. Noticing his presence, all of the raiders in the pub greeted Fro in unison.

“Hey Fro! Welcome back!”

“Yo! Sup everyone!” Fro replied, waving his hand.
   
 Fro approached the counter and took a seat on one of the stools. He stared intently at the TV that was above him which was displaying some sort of worldwide news broadcast. He then turned his attention towards Musik, who was walking towards the counter with a towel and beer cup in hand.

“Hey there Frono! Welcome back. How was the family visit?”

“Meh, the usual. My mom nearly burst in tears in when she saw me and my dad bored me to death with his lectures about life and other crap. I played a couple of video games with my older brothers and spent some quality time with my younger sister. It was a pretty chill week.”

“Glad to hear. Can I get you anything?”

“Just some orange Kool-Aid. Nothing fancy.”

“Right! Orange Kool-Aid coming right up!”
 
 It didn’t take long for Musik to make the Kool-Aid. In, fact it only took her a fraction of a second. She disappeared and reappeared in an instant with a cup of Kool-Aid in her hands.
   
“Here you go. One cup of fresh orange Kool-Aid.”

“Well that was fast.” Fro said surprised. He took the cup from Musik and began sipping on his Kool-Aid. “Man
this is good.” He moaned in delight.

“Good! Replied Musik. She placed her hands on her hips. “Now is there anything else I can do for you”?

“Naw I’m good. Thanks Musik!”

“No problem. If you need anything else just come back and let me know okay?”

“Don’t worry I will.”
   
 Fro left the counter and began wondering around the pub looking for a place to sit. He spotted a table not too far from where Coryn and Lego were sitting and decided to take up residence there. He lied back in his chair and placed his feet on the table. Feeling relaxed, he let out a slight yawn and closed his eyes. Things were going quite swell for Fro. He had a good glass of Kool-Aid and he was surrounded by loving friends. Everything seemed so perfect.

Then things took an unexpected turn…

Out of nowhere, the pub doors were suddenly blasted by an unknown force. All activities inside the pub came to a screeching halt and everyone inside stood up alerted. When the smoke cleared an unfamiliar figure entered. The raiders were thrown in a complete state of confusion.
 
  At first she seemed like an ordinary girl. However closer examination proved otherwise. Her skin color was a dark brown and she looked fairly young. Her Voluptuous figure left most of the male raiders’ jaws dropping to the floor. Even Lego had a slight nosebleed. She wore a sleeveless, red blouse. Hanging on her loosely it didn't even cover her bellybutton, or most of her cleavage, but it didn't seem to phase her one bit. She also wore skin tight red leather pants, long black leather heels, a small black leather jacket, black leather gloves and a brown belt which was strapped was an assortment of all types of hand guns as well. Indeed, she was spectacle to behold, but what really stood out to the crowd was the fact she had an Afro. A very large one at that.

As she walked through the middle of the pub, the raiders prepared themselves. Some were even summoning their weapons. However, the girl wasn’t fazed. She simply ignored them and continued walking. She eventually stopped in front of the table where Fro was sleeping. She folded her arms and kicked the table. The sound scared the Fro so much that ended up jumping out his chair panicking. He was angry at first, but when he feasted his eyes upon the Afro haired beauty that stood before him. His anger quickly transformed into a state of shock.
   
He walked towards the girl and took a more personal look at her. While that was happening, Lego and Coryn were talking discreetly to each other.

“You think there’s a chance he might know her?” Whispered Lego. ” I mean they do look alike.”

“There could be a possibility. Though I doubt it. He looks like he doesn’t know her all that well.”
As hard as he tried Fro couldn’t really figure out who this mysterious girl was. He felt as if seen her before. In a dream perhaps? Well, whatever the case he knew just looking at her wasn’t going solve anything. So he did what any normal person would do: He asked questions.

“Um, excuse me miss. I hate to bother you but just who are you and where did you come from?”
   
 A look of disgust fell upon her face. She obviously wasn’t too pleased with Fro asking her questions. So, as a response she drew a handgun from her belt and held it point blank in Fro’s face.

“Are you the one known as Fronomenal?” Asked the girl. She finally spoke.

“Umm… Maybe?” Replied Fro nervously.
 
“And what exactly do you want with Frono? Asked Toasty, appearing behind her with his rifle in hand.

“It’s none of your business fool!”

“Actually it is our business.” Intruded Lego. “

Coryn now stepped in. “Anybody who has business with Fro has business with all of us. Now, I’m going to repeat Frono’s question and this time you will answer. Just who are you and where did you come from?!”

The girl sighed. As much as she didn’t mind taking on an entire group of warriors. She had a purpose and that purpose was not senseless violence. For the sake of logical reasoning, she lowered her weapon and decided
it would be best to just answer their question.

“I just wanted to have a talk with my cousin in private. Is that so much to ask?”

Everyone gasped. Their eyes widened in disbelief. The mere sound of the word “cousin” created an awkward silence in the room. Suddenly, all eyes were fixed on Fro who couldn't believe what he had just heard.

“W-Wait Were… COUSINS?!”

To be continued…




         


 
 
   

   

   




 
 
     
   
« Last Edit: November 10, 2012, 02:35:34 PM by Fronomenal »
Messatsu...



Offline Coryn

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2012, 01:01:15 AM »
hehe. you never said you had family fro!

good start for sure. interested to see how it develops. though it did seem odd that you described her as having a dress that showed her stomach?

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline legomaestro

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2012, 01:23:03 AM »
Nice hehe! You're just as proud as i thought you'd be.

I get that her mid-riff was exposed but i also dunno how that'd work with a dress >.>

Can't wait for more! I better find out who this cousin is!

Offline Coach Fro

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2012, 07:02:37 AM »
Thanks guys! Yeah about that dress. I'm not too familiar with women's clothing so describing her was a real challenge for me. The best way I can describe her dress is with a picture.



Her dress is similar to this but it's cut lower to the point where her belly button would show. That's what I was trying to say.

Is there a better of way of describing it without it sounding weird?
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Offline Coryn

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2012, 01:12:09 PM »
well blouse is always a good term. It's a very broad word. In this case you'd have to back up with supporting information. something like

"She wore a sleeveless, red blouse. Hanging on her loosely it didn't even cover her bellybutton, or most of her cleavage, but it didn't seem to phase her one bit."

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2012, 08:30:25 AM »
Thanks, do you mind if I use that?
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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2012, 12:37:12 PM »
feel free. just remember to learn from it.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2012, 02:33:54 PM »
Cool. Don't worry I will.

Chapter 2 coming soon everyone. Stay tuned! ;)
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Offline Coach Fro

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2014, 09:38:00 AM »
Been feeling like there's something missing in my writing lately. Don't know what that something is, but I'll figure it out eventually.

Oh, before I forget...

"Reanimation Jutsu!"



The Other Fro: Arc One

Chapter 2: Are You Fro Real?

Everything was in slow motion. Nothing appeared to be moving. Fro’s dramatic facial expression, as well as the open jaws and bulging eyes of the other raiders in the pub were frozen still. The mysterious girl on the other hand, was unaffected by this time freeze. She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. 
“Are these guys serious?” She mumbled to herself.

With her arms folded, she walked up to Fro and delivered a hard slap right across his left cheek.
       
“Ow, what the hell yo?!” Exclaimed Fro, shaking his head in a comical fashion, suddenly unfrozen thanks to the girl’s slap.

“You really need to snap out of it.”
   
“So slapping me was your was your way of getting me to snap out of it? And what the hell I’m supposed to snapping out of anyway? The hell’s going on?!”
   
“The second chapter is starting you idiot.”
   
“Second chapter, second chapter of what? Fro scratched his head in confusion.   
   
“The second chapter of the story.”

“Huh, what story?”

“The Other Fro you dumbass!”

“Oh damn, you right.”

With that, everything was back in motion. Everyone’s faces returned to normal, but they were now rubbing their heads, their faces puzzled by something. They were almost sure that something weird had just happened, but none of them were able to realize that time had just froze. Who stopped time? And why were everyone in the pub except Fro and the mysterious girl, clueless to this? Oh well, that didn’t matter much anymore because the raiders’ attention were now fixed now Fro and the girl, who were having some sort of intense staring contest.

“So… we’re cousins?” 

“Yup.”

“And how are we cousins exactly?”

“Come with me and I’ll tell you.”

“Girl you must be crazy if you think if I’m going anywhere with you.”

“Hmph, guess you don’t wanna know then.”

But he did want to know. It’s not everyday some random person whom you never met before comes up to you and tell you that they’re related to you. Fro was definitely curious, but still, he was having a hard time believing this girl, mainly for one reason.

Back where Fro’s from, there were two types of people: “Average types” and “Special types.” Average types were your normal everyday citizens, who possessed no form of abnormal abilities. Special types on the other hand, had all sorts of unique, superhuman abilities, which were a rarity in Fro’s hometown. As far as he knew, Fronomenal was the only Special type out of his entire family. Besides that, he’s the only guy in his family who still rocks an Afro.

But as he pondered in thought, the raiders had questions and speculations of their own. Specifically Musik, who emerged from the crowd and approached the girl with a question that no one else had even thought of asking.

“Um excuse me. If you don’t mind, can you tell us your name?”

The girl eyed Musik from head to toe, giving her a disgusted look, like how girls do when an ugly guy ask for their number. However, Musik didn’t seem too bothered by it. She simply responded with a smile, which not only confused the girl, but made her feel somewhat more relaxed.

“It’s Fronesha.” The girl said in a very low voice, turning her head away from Musik.

“Wait what?” Said a shocked Fronomenal, whose eyebrows were raised so high that they looked like they were about to jump off his forehead.

“Boy is you death? I said my name is Fronesha!”

And the whispers began. All the raiders in the pub turned to one another and held mini conversations. They were all coming to similar conclusion: Whether or not Fronesha is actually related to Fro, there was definitely a connection between the two.

“Well, well, well.” said Coryn, who was walking towards Fronesha with an amused smirk on his face. “It seems like we have an interesting dilemma here.”

Coryn paced slowly around Fro and Fronesha, examining them thoroughly like a detective looking over a crime scene. He couldn’t help but smile as he did this. As a scientist, it’s only natural for him to get excited when he discovers something new. He took a moment to get a more personal look at Fronesha, getting so close her that she had to take a few steps back just to get some breathing room.

“So you say you’re Fro’s cousin eh? Well, seeing how you both have Afro’s and both of your names start with Fro, it would be hard to rule this as some sort of coincidence. Please, if you don’t mind, can you tell me how do you know Fro and where you’re from exactly?”

“Like I said earlier, it’s none of your business.”

“And like I said earlier, anyone who has business with Fro has business with all of us.”

Coryn placed his hands on Fronesha’s shoulders.

“Listen, I’m trying to be nice here. However, if you want, I can take you back to my lab and perform painful experiments on you and find out who you are that way. It’s your call.”

“F**k off!”

Fronesha snapped. Using her left arm, she knocked Coryn’s hands off her shoulders and drew a handgun from her belt with her right and held it point blank in is his face. But as she did that, Coryn was already behind her. When she finally realized this, she turned around and saw Coryn starring at her with a sly smile on his face. Her eyes widened when she saw him.

“How did he get behind me so fast?” She thought to herself.

She stood motionless in front of Coryn, as if she was in awe of him. However, she quickly snapped out of it when she noticed the other raiders were giving her cold glares. They weren’t pleased with the fact that she pulled a gun on one of their own. She began walking backwards. Her eyes darted rapidly in alert, trying to get a good fix on everyone surrounding her. She felt a fight brewing and she was about to ready herself; before turning around and bumping into Fronomenal of course.

“Look sweetheart,” Fro said letting out sigh. “Lemme tell ya something. I don’t know who you think you are, but if you think you’re just gonna come up in here and do whatever you want then you got things messed up. Do me a favor and look around the room for a second.”

Raising his right arm Fro took his index finger and spun it clockwise around the room. Fronesha followed with her eyes.

“You see all of these people right?” In case you haven’t noticed these guys are my family. So if you try something with me, then you gotta deal with them and trust me you don’t want that. So how about this instead…

Fro walked over to a nearby table and pulled up a stool.

“Here, take this seat and just relax okay? I don’t why you feel we need to talk in private, but since my momma told me not go anywhere with strangers, it’s not happening. You have to earn my trust first.”

Fronesha gritted her teeth and growled at Fro. She clenched her handgun so tight that it looked like it was about to break into pieces. The raiders suspected that she was ready to attack so they readied themselves for a fight. But to their surprise, Fronesha calmed herself and replaced her angry disposition with a smile.

“Well, guess I gotta bring you in the hard way.”

Fronesha’s body began to glow a bright white and her Fro flapped  as wind started to swirl around her. She began to levitate as this happened. With her sheer force of energy, she created vibrations strong enough to rattle the pub and everyone in it, blowing away tables, stools and glass cups with the strong winds she generated around her. Even Fro was sent flying to the back end of the pub. While everyone else were busy trying to maintain their balance, several tendrils of hair spawned from Fronesha’s fro.

“What the-“ Fro mumbled

“Just like Fro,” muttered Lego

“Looks like they’re related after all” Toasty said while cocking his rifle.

“Haaaaa!”

Fronesha let out a thundering scream as the tendrils struck out randomly at the raiders. The strength of tendrils attacks seemed to be in synch with the powerful waves of energy Fronesha was emitting. The more violent the energy waves were, the more violent and wilder the tendrils became. Not only that, they grew more in numbers as more time passed. A couple of seconds later, the entire pub was filled with hair tendrils.

Each raider was occupied with Fronesha’s tendrils. Coryn sidestepped each tendril that struck at him in a left-right pattern, whacking them off with his blades as they flew pass him. Musik performed backflips and somersaults over each tendril that came her way, dodging them with ease, all the while punching and kicking them at the same time. Lego decided to make things easier on himself by electrocuting the tendrils with his nanomachines, reducing them to mere ashes. Although, like Jack who was cutting tendrils in half with his scythe while spinning in midair, Lego couldn't resist the temptation of slaying a few tendrils with his own weapon, a black nanokatana, as well.

However, despite their efforts, the tendrils kept on coming. As more of them were slain, more kept reappearing. Multiplying themselves rapidly, they became seemingly endless in amount. Soon enough, the tendril army began to overwhelm the raiders.

Fro on the other hand didn’t seem to have any trouble handling Fronesha’s hair tendrils. Well, that’s only because there weren’t really any attacking him, which he found odd since he was Fronesha’s target in the first place. Fro didn’t spend too much thinking about this though.

While backhanding two tendrils that were coming at him from his left, Fro noticed that there were idle tendrils surrounding Fronesha, acting as fortress of some sort. All of her sides were completely covered; all of them except for her front, which was completely wide open.

“Now’s my chance!”
 
Without any hesitation Fro jolted through the open lane. He moved so quick that the tendrils he passed by couldn’t even catch up to him. In response, a tendril twice the size of the average ones from before spawned from Fronesha’s afro and spiraled towards Fro like a giant drill. Fro scoffed at the sight of it.

“Seriously, is that all you got?”

Just before it had reached him, Fro jumped on top of the giant tendril and managed to run along it without losing his balance. Then, using the tendril as an oversized trampoline he launched himself into the air and steadily propelled himself towards Fronesha.

“Gotcha!”

Cocking his right fist whitish energy resembling ink swirled around it and his entire arm. Soon enough, the swirling white energy enveloped his entire body, giving his frame a moonlight glow. His plan was to blast the energy like a beam at Fronesha. It would’ve worked, if he hadn’t fallen for her trap of course.

“You’re the one who’s getting got.”

“Huh?”

In an instant several tendrils appeared behind Fro. However, these were different from the others. Unlike the ones from before, these tendrils weren’t directly connected to Fronesha’s afro, giving the impression that they were acting on their own agenda. Unfortunately, unlike the other raiders who were watching the scene unfold and because of the fact that he was so focused on Fronesha, Fro didn’t even noticed the several tendrils behind him.

“Fro, watch out!” the raiders yelled in unison. 

It was too late. As soon as turned his head to the side to see what was behind him, the tendrils had wrapped themselves around Fro’s limbs, disrupting the energy that was flowing about him. The tendrils stretched out Fro’s arms and legs so much that Fro couldn’t help but to scream in pain.

“Dammit! How did you…”

Fro not only struggled to break from the tendril’s grip, but he also struggled to get his words out as well. He tried his hardest shake himself loose, but all that did was give the tendrils more reason to squeeze even harder. Fronesha giggled at Fro’s pointless attempts to break free.

“You know, you’re not the only one who can leave their hair anywhere and use it later on.”

“Wait? What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Just like you I can detach strands of hair from my afro and use them in any way I see fit.”

“Wait a minute, then that means… When you busted in you…”

“Yup, when I blasted the doors open I scattered the strands of my hair across the pub just in case I needed to use them later. I distracted your friends with tendrils from my afro while I laid another set of tendrils right below where you are right now. Knowing that you would take advantage of the opportunity, I purposefully left myself wide open and lured you into my trap heh heh.”

“Damn…” Fro muttered in frustration.

It was a clever strategy. A strategy that Fro knew all too well. Usually he would utilize his own hair strands as explosives or as a method for teleportation. The fact that someone else could perform tricks similar to his own startled him. But there was something that was bothering him.

“Hold up! How do you even know that I can use my hair that way?”

“Oh don’t worry you’ll find out soon enough.”

“Hey don’t forget about us!” Shouted Toasty, who had just had finished gunning down the last of Fronesha’s tendrils.

The raiders were all standing poised with their weapons drawn. Some had a few scratches and bruises but other than that they all seemed relatively unharmed. Seeing how that there were no more tendrils in sight, the raiders prepared themselves for an all-out attack on Fronesha. Coryn headed the charge.

“Raiders, go!”

Bursting into the air, they rushed at her from all sides possible, each yelling out their own distinct battle cry. Lego and Musick took it upon themselves to *censored* their direction towards Fro with plans of freeing him, while the others continued their charge on Fronesha. Fronesha knew that summoning more tendrils would pointless. So she decided to go with something a little better.

“Back off!”

Just seconds before the raiders were in striking distance; Fronesha’s body shone a light of bright white, which temporarily blinded them. Then, during their moment of blindness, she sent the raiders crashing right back onto the pub floor with a ground-shaking burst of wind that emanated from her body. Fro watched as his fellows raiders were sent packing. The sight of it pissed him off. He growled angrily as he desperately tried to break free of the tendril’s grasp.

“Dammit! Let me go!”

Nun uh, besides it’s time our to leave now.”

“Time to leave? Where the hell are we going?!”

“You’ll see.”

As Fro continued to struggle, Fronesha’s afro began to gyrate wildly, losing its round form and becoming much more loose and spikier. As this happened, her body once again shone a bright white, all the while rattling the pub with the intense energy waves she was giving off. Moments later, her now spikey hair lashed at Fro like a thousand vines. Strangely enough however, instead of actually attacking him, Fronesha’s hair attached itself to Fro’s afro, seemingly connecting her fro to his.

“What the- hey what are you doing?” Fro cried out.

He remained helpless as Fronesha continued on with her odd ritual or what seemed like it anyways. Fro shook his head left and right, hoping that it would cease his hair from being glued upon to, but it didn't. Fronesha’s hair dug into Fro’s so deep that he felt he was being sucked in by Fronesha’s afro, which exactly what was happening.   

“Ahhhhhhh!” Fro screamed.

Although their view was somewhat obstructed by the light, the raiders could see it. Fronomenal’s and Fronesha’s afros were somehow merging together. Their heads looked like one giant afro and their bodies looked as if they were being absorbed by this giant afro. Soon enough, their bodies were completely absorbed and this once giant afro was now a gigantic hairball.

The raiders watched in astonishment, unable to comprehend what was going on. It was all happening so fast. They had no time to react. All they could do was stand idle and be amazed by what was unfolding before their very eyes.
 
But before they could fully take in the fact that a giant hairball was hovering right before them, streaks of light shone through the cracks of the hairball, giving the impression that it was beginning to disperse. Moments later, the entire pub was enveloped in light. The raiders covered their eyes with their arms. Nothing could be seen.

When the light finally faded away, no physical trace of Fronomenal or Fronesha could be seen. It seemed that they vanished into thin air alongside with the giant hair ball. The raiders didn’t want to believe this however. They frantically searched the pub in hopes of finding any trace of the two. They searched and searched, practically for minutes. Yet, no one had any luck. That is until Jack spotted something in the middle of the floor.

“Hey guys come check this out.”

The raiders all gathered around jack in a circle. They all stared hard at the object Jack was looking at. They all raised their eyebrows when they saw it; A long strand of black hair.
   
Although they weren’t exactly sure if it belonged to Fro or Fronesha, they could feel a faint aura coming from it. That alone reassured them to believe that both parties were still somehow present in the room.
   
“So do you guys think that it’s possible that they’re like… both inside of each other’s bodies? Musik questioned.
   
“Well as crazy as that sounds it’s probably the only logical conclusion we can draw at the moment.” Coryn responded.
   
“I wonder how that can be even possible.” Lego added. “Maybe all of this proves that they’re really are related.”
   
“Maybe. It’s still a possibility. Though I don’t think we should make that assumption just yet.”
   
“So what are we gonna do now?” Toasty asked while pulling up a stool to sit on. “I mean we’re not to actually sit around and wait are we?”
   
“It’s the only choice we have at the moment. There’s not much we can really do.”
   
Coryn stroked his chin as he said this. He had a brief thought of taking the hair strand to his lab for tests and thorough examination. But the thought of somehow accidently screwing up Fro’s body seemed too risky.
   
“I’d say we should wait at least an hour and see if anything happens. If not, then we’ll take action.”
   
“But Coryn are sure about that? Musik asked with a sound of worry in her voice. “I mean if we wait too long then something bad might end up happening to Frono.”
   
“I wouldn’t worry too much about that. According to that Fronesha girl, all she wanted was to have a talk with him. So I doubt she has any other intentions.”
   
“Well, if you say so…”
   
“Besides even so, Fro has grown into a formidable raider. I’m pretty sure he can handle himself just fine.”
   
Coryn walked towards the exit of the pub. Before leaving he turned towards the raiders.
   
“In the meantime I’ll report to Hasith and Cory and notify them of what just happened. While I’m doing that you guys should clean up place while I’m gone. I’d have to say it’s gotten quite messy in here.”
   
Turning away from the group Coryn stepped outside into the gleaming sun. He stared at it, ignoring its beaming rays. He thought about what he had told Musik. How Fro would be able to handle himself just fine. As though about it more, he was beginning to have doubts himself.
   
“I really do hope I’m right about this.”
   
Turning away from the sun Coryn went about his way. A gentle breeze brushed across his face as he strolled. His trench coat flapped slightly in response to the sudden breeze He sighed.
   
“I really do…”

   End of Chapter two. 



Messatsu...



Offline legomaestro

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2014, 12:05:03 PM »
It's a trap!

Oh man... I feel a bit awkward about the situation. Oh well let's see how it unfolds.

I'd say either keep the descriptions shorter, or dive into them fully and outline every piece of action as it happened, for some reason the action seems a little choppy like you're trying to both describe everything and be fast at the same time, just the vibe I get off it.

Offline Lumaria

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2014, 12:12:49 PM »
difficult to follow...but then again, so is the rest of the MR canon. regardless...hard to critique, so just do whatever you're doing.
Stop playing victim....you know what you did.

Offline Coryn

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2014, 12:14:56 PM »
Yeah, things are a bit choppy. You've got to get the language to flow better.

Also, relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCdmiZyyGjQ

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline legomaestro

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2014, 12:20:33 PM »
I shall pilfer this link and use it in a story

Offline Coach Fro

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2014, 12:37:58 PM »
@lego: Thanks and noted. My weakest area in writing is description so I'm still trying to improve on that front.

@Lorenx1: Well, I do appreciate that you still gave it a read. Question though, what is about the MR Canon that you find difficult to follow and do you think I should I gear my writing in a direction that makes the universe easier to understand for people who is not familiar with the universe.

@Coryn: Lmao and Thanks. I'm keeping the name. I just like the sound of it for some reason.

I'm disappointed knowing that flow of the words weren't all that great. That's one of my biggest concerns when it comes to my writing. Time to hit the lab and make some adjustments. 
Messatsu...



Offline legomaestro

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Re: The Other Fro: Arc one
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2014, 12:40:34 PM »
Well you can always polish it up later. It's best not to derail yourself from the flow until your done. Just keep note of it for future editing and hope to improve in your future writing.