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Author Topic: 11  (Read 1383 times)

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Offline CMDRWilliams

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« on: August 10, 2012, 05:05:22 PM »
Blah.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2012, 08:09:22 PM by CMDRWilliams »

Offline Rojas

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2012, 05:30:39 PM »
Ooh interesting story, but you need to describe Zac better. If you don't describe him we are typically looking at a silhouette. All I know is he wears a hoodie and jeans. After he takes the hoodie off it's just another article of clothing with no face to be described.
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Offline CMDRWilliams

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2012, 05:36:01 PM »
Hm, no one has ever pointed that out before. Though, the silhouette thing sort of works for this chapter. I describe him more in the second, but I'll be sure to add some more details in this chapter.

Offline DBNext

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2012, 05:39:34 PM »
This is some interesting stuff.. I rarely read articles like this, but urs kept me going for some reason :D Zac seems like an interesting character. I cannot wait to read the next chapter :D keep posting! Me wants more!

Offline CMDRWilliams

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2012, 05:45:05 PM »
Blah.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2012, 08:08:25 PM by CMDRWilliams »

Offline DBNext

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2012, 06:05:02 PM »
Hmmmm.. I have to say I liked the first Zac better.. he was really mysterious and dark, while the alternate version seems to have a double personality .. Like when he met Jazmin ( don't mind the spelling lol ), he sort of transformed into a regular guy. I guess its cuz I'm into dark mysterious characters. Just my thoughts though.

Offline Rojas

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2012, 06:09:13 PM »
First Zac seems better :p.
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Offline CMDRWilliams

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2012, 06:12:05 PM »
11
« Last Edit: August 30, 2012, 08:08:43 PM by CMDRWilliams »

Offline DBNext

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2012, 06:22:20 PM »
Didn't really understand what was going on.. What did u mean by first chapter of the second version?

Offline CMDRWilliams

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2012, 06:27:38 PM »
Well, the two Zac's you read about were from two different versions of my novel. The first is from the current version, which is nearing completion.

The second Zac was from an experimental new version. The small chapter you just read is an event that occurs about 20 earlier. It is an event that occurs in both versions of the novel, but I only included it in the second version, as the first chapter. The Boy in Black is actually the second chapter of the second version.


Offline DBNext

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2012, 01:30:55 AM »
I see.. Well anyways good luck ;D And keep posting chapters  :thumbsup:




Offline CMDRWilliams

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2012, 02:22:57 AM »
=
« Last Edit: August 30, 2012, 08:08:55 PM by CMDRWilliams »

Offline DBNext

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2012, 03:17:04 AM »
Interesting chapter too.. Although I feel like u could have simplified the events that happened at school, especially if u are willing to transform it into a manga, in which each chapter would have to be shorter. I'm also interested in Zac's condition :)

Offline CMDRWilliams

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2012, 03:44:30 AM »
What exactly do you mean by simplifying?


Offline DBNext

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Re: Black as White
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2012, 04:04:47 AM »
I mean like not going into extreme details always.. I don't know I'm not really an expert in novels, but I know that if u wanted to turn it into a manga ( u did mention that didn't u? ), then the script for each chapter should be much shorter. Unless ur thinking of making each novel chapter into 2 or 3 manga chapters, which then would work.