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Author Topic: The 8 Pearls  (Read 825 times)

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Offline ThorOdinson

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The 8 Pearls
« on: June 26, 2012, 02:27:41 PM »
This is my Manga story. I'm new here and hopefully people give me some advice

The 8 Pearls



Long time ago there once lived a beautiful women name Tomiko. Tomiko was loved a crossed the land. Tomiko was a kind hearted women who treated everyone with respect and dignity. The only people she hated was criminals, any type for that matter,  any one who did the wrongdoing she hated them so much. Then one day she was fed up with the criminals around the world and she wanted to do something about it. So Tomiko Created these 8 Magical pearls each with different elements and powers, She created fire, earth, water, air, light, shadow, nature, and lightning. But what Tomiko didn't know was that in the pearls there were Demons that purses them. One night a thief broke into her house and stole the 8 pearls and ran into the woods. There the Pearl somehow was activated and the 8 Demons were free, the holy light was so powerful that the thief was exterminated right there. The 8 Demons were veaking Havoc across the land, destroying anything that came in sight and soon there were going to destroy the world. Tomiko thought if she created them she can somehow stop them. So she sacrificed her self in order to stop the demons, the demons went back into the pearls and was scattered across the world where no one can find them again, Until now...

Offline legomaestro

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Re: The 8 Pearls
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2012, 08:01:11 AM »
For some reason i get a CLAMP feel to this story. You'll need good characters and some nice sense of story telling to get it done. I can't say much from it now, but it looks promising, so long as you work with it well. How much have you worked on the story?

Who's the main character? What kind of story is it? A high fantasy or dark fantasy?

It would also be intersesting to know a good reason why something she created had demons within them. That could tie in to be a nice story later.

The plot is very basic and common though, so that's why i immidiately suggested you make sure you have good characters and such...