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Author Topic: WRITING SURVIAL!!!  (Read 8687 times)

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #15 on: May 29, 2012, 03:29:39 PM »
Haha!  Moar, moar!!

and an excerpt from Kingfisher Crimson's sequel: King Fisher Cyan. Which, as far as i know, will never exist >.>


Behind them the massive floating desert landmass floated innocently. Their shock over its massive size had long passed. Now it was time to focus on what was ahead, and all around them. Clouds as far as the eye could see. They looked like a sea under the violet-blue expanse of sky.

Rex Takaroma looked at the cloudline grimly. Next to him Regina seemed to share a little of the apprehension, but finally it was crunch time: it was time to dive below the cloud line, to a new world.
"Go."
Regina grasped the wheel and pushed it forwards, placing the sleek craft in a gentle dive.

The silent girl scientist had this to say about the sight when they finally emerged from the clouds.

"..."

She had been speechless.

Offline Coryn

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #16 on: May 29, 2012, 03:32:32 PM »
ah man. i can't even remember the end of kingfisher. neat paragraph though

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Tostificer

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #17 on: May 29, 2012, 04:26:16 PM »
Kinda tedious to remember what each story was about but okay. Awesome stuff y'all! Might participate, might not. Still have to decide.

Also, Lego. Been watching Lord of the Rings lately? Sounds like Frodo bringing the Ring to Mordor. Except without the fellowship.
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Offline Coryn

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2012, 04:43:08 PM »
you should try it. be a good way to keep yourself active on the forum

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Offline StoryTeller

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #19 on: May 29, 2012, 04:55:23 PM »
I arrive home from a long day of school and studying. It's specialy tiring since I go to a game design course on tuesdays and thursdays, so I can only come later than usual. I sit on my desk and sigh in relief. "I'm so tired, and still have to study some kanji, and write, and do this and that..." I sigh again. Everyday has gotten much busier since I joined Manga Raiders. Working has actualy been fun these days. Almost forgeting about today's paragraph I rush in the forum to get it done so I can finally study some kanji.
Check out my stories!Project Right
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Offline takahashi

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #20 on: May 29, 2012, 06:30:28 PM »
There onced lived a wolf that was so big it was said if it where to open its jaws they would reach heaven.The wolfs name was fenrir and the gods feared him they feared him so much they bound him with a magicall chain and locked him under  asgard.The god loki being fenrir father couldent bare to see his child imprisoned so he turned fenrir back into his human form and sent him to earth as a child with no memory of being fenrir .The gods found out about loki's betrayl and chained him between two boulders and put above him  a snake that constintly driped acid poison on his face.Odin knowing that fenrir was on earth and that he is the causer of ragnorak went to earth to find and kill him even if he destroys earth in the process.

thanks for the advice on my last post hope this one was better.

Offline Rojas

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2012, 01:32:28 AM »
thanx for the advice lego.

Btw everyone has some interesting stories, I'm falling behind. I'm going to be writing a bunch of short stories with cliff hangers possibly. Maybe even Scenery practice paragraphs for this workshop. Hmm maybe even a story in poetry format.
____________________________
There lays a girl crying over her bed. Face into pillow and body just as limp wavering. For she never seen it coming herself even though she is the cause. The knife in her hand drizzled with blood only shows her incompetence. The blood trail leads to the side of the bed revealing a discrete tragedy. How does one kill their own brother?
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Offline legomaestro

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2012, 01:45:34 AM »
If you ever get to that level of complexity, you should consider reading some Robert Browning. Great poet. Made narrative poetry. I'm still finding it hard to follow, but one day i'll definately do it. Nice verse. I coudn't understand the second sentence at all though, but the rest of it made sense.

@Coryn haha, no worries man. I fear going back to it now but either i'll rewrite it, or scrap it completely and take some elements out of it and put it in another story. In any case the final product won't be the same

@ Toasty
you should try it. be a good way to keep yourself active on the forum

For sure Toasty. You've sort of been missing. Post storified LoL exploits if you will.

And haha, no not really. I have been getting the fantasy vibe over sci-fi, but i'll see. Right now I and my friend have decided to get inspiration closer from home. So i may be going slightly native. African settings, african main characters: the works. Then i'll throw in a couple of dragons and sabers and all will be right with the world xD

@Takahashi Yeah it is better. You should try running it through a spellcheck though, to catch some of the mispelt words that are there e.g couldn't, magical. There was a full-stop needed after 'and the gods feared him' and some other places. Keep it up

Offline Tostificer

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #23 on: May 30, 2012, 03:53:27 AM »
Two days in fear. Nothing to lose, yet petrified by their occasional gazes. Fear is something human, and no rationalism can take fear away from us. But they are different. They don't know fear. They don't know regret. And they certainly don't know mercy.
The boy, or man rather, had been chased in the enormous complex for two days now. Blinded by fear as to where he should go, he just wandered around in the large facility, not in search of anything, but to hide from his predators. He always figured that humans were the greater species. Everything else was under the humans. He hadn't actively thought about it though. It was in his nature. Like anyone else's nature. But he had come to doubt this as he merely escaped from his predators once again.
He was hiding in the exhaust pipes of the facility. Even though the freedom of the outside world was visible from his location, a few razor-sharp, twisting blades kept him from going there. He needed to find another way out. Or perhaps a way to shut down the creatures. No time to think, move. They would find him here.

“Bzzt” he heard from the hallway. He was trapped, no way to go. If he jumped out... He didn't want to think about what would happen. He'd be better off jumping in the blades and ending it all. But fear delayed his fate. He sat there, silently waiting. Perhaps hoping they didn't know where he was. Maybe hoping they'd move along.

Three, four, five gunshots. Then silence. Red spatters on the wall and inside the pipe as the man's body slipped down in the hallway. A soft, young voice said: “I'm sorry. I don't hate you.” It sounded very... Robot-esque. But it didn't matter anymore. As the man's breath stopped and his eyes closed, he knew that they had won. He knew, that humanity was bested.



Boop. Here it starts. Let's hope that it doesn't end too soon. Next one tomorrow!

Edit: if anyone knows who killed him, please send me your home adress. I will personally send you an actual cookie.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2012, 03:55:33 AM by Tostificer »
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Offline Rojas

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2012, 09:53:00 AM »
Nice post Toasty seems great :D.
___________________________
As the winter falls and the cradle dawns
Each reaches peak onto greater bonds
The sparrow's nest wreaks havoc to beyond
Never has there been such a foe

For is there a hero to slay this spawn
The night is great though her hope is fawn
The sword is as remembered though is gone
The beast quakes and takes slow

It is a tragedy at best
For the hero has lost its quest
Mashed and beat to pulp
Who here still has any hope.
_____________________
That was my first try at a poetic story hope ya like it. Get back to me on it I really want feedback on it.
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Offline StoryTeller

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #25 on: May 30, 2012, 12:50:26 PM »
The man held his head up high. Seeing the world crumblign before him he could do nothing but stand there and watch as others suffered. Fiery rocks falling from the sky, a truly apocaliptical sight, almost feels like a dream, a very distant dream. He couldn't talk or move, he couldn't feel, only see.
Waking up in a sweat, he quickly gets up and writes down what he saw in a dream journal, it was filled with pages with apocalyptic visions written on it. The man thinks to himself how real they were, and some of them even matched descriptions of other world end theories like 2000 or 2012... Either he was crazy, or the world really was supposed to end, and someone, or something, was preventing it.
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Offline legomaestro

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #26 on: May 30, 2012, 02:31:18 PM »
This wasn't what he wanted. He never wanted any of this. This was unfair. This was impossible, how could his adventure turn out this way?

Mark Vex watched as the black swordsman emerged from his house. The little cute brick building looked as if a giant cat had been sharpening its claws on it, but Mark knew better: the steel sword of hell was responsible. The black swordsman, lithe and beautiful as ever with his stylish black cap and face of black mist walked up to Mark. He stabbed Mark in the heart.

When Mark woke up, the sun was down and the rest of the village was destroyed. Even the trees seemed to have been chopped off.

Scrnch.

Mark stopped patting his bloodied vest and looked over at the swordsman. He was eating a green apple and noticed Mark awake,

"You wanted an adventure? I gave you one."

The boy was speechless.

"I know that was only your cousins coming over for a while, and your parents will be here any time soon, but it's all according to plan."

The apple dissapeared in his 'face'.

"You're down to 8 lives now. I'll play the hound of hell. You play the unlucky cat."

"I-... what?"

The mist seemed to stretch: the swordsman's only way of smiling.

"I've given you nine lives, and every month, i'll come to kill you. You had better be able to live up to the stupid challenge you threw at me, brat, or you're going to be wailing for a long time. In a certain place that rhymes with well. But all the gods know, they're no wells in there, and if they did, there'd be no water. And there sure as damn no 'feeling well'. Catch my drift?"

Max looked on. Unbelieving. Was he being thrown into an adventure all of the sudden? Like he had dreamed all the time? Wasn't this the hero, sweaty and beaten, bravely heads off to the sunset, with his companions flanking him and his hair swirling? Magical sword rested on burly shoulder?

But no, he was sitting in the dust, in bloodied clothes, feeling pain as dusk claimed all light. And he was so weak, oh so weak.


Offline Tostificer

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #27 on: May 30, 2012, 02:42:29 PM »
Nice one! I like the swordsman and how he talks. He seems to ramble way too much about stuff. I envy your ability to create these deep characters in so few words man.
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Offline legomaestro

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #28 on: May 30, 2012, 03:31:26 PM »
Thanks man! But it aint that good. And ugh my comment on yours seems to have been cut off by accident

Is that story what i think it is? that one you were discussing? If it is then that'd be awesome. Always love the sophistication with your work too haha. I still remember Okimura and company, and this one aint any different. Wish i had a bigger glimpse of the arena, but it was definately interesting

Offline Coryn

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Re: WRITING SURVIAL!!!
« Reply #29 on: May 30, 2012, 05:15:23 PM »
gah! so many chapters! i'll just say great job everyone since breaking them down seems like a lot of work.

and to me toasty, it sounds like a turret from portal.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF