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Author Topic: Origin Stories!  (Read 13202 times)

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #45 on: February 11, 2014, 10:44:37 AM »
Did it end properly or was cancelled?

Also I am getting Gen Urobochi vibes from you. That is interesting haha.

Offline LittRL

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #46 on: February 11, 2014, 10:47:24 AM »
From what I remember it ended properly. Then again the real reason any series ends is because it's cancelled, other you'd keep getting terrible seasons one after the other until it finally ends.

Don't know who that is or what he does but I'll take it as a compliment.

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #47 on: February 11, 2014, 10:51:00 AM »
Light novel author who is nicknamed 'Urobutcher' because of his nihilistic themes. I enjoy his work though they make me cry.

And yeah, unfortunately that's the new thing, to run series into the ground. Fortunately some crown jems are actually ended when they're supposed to end e.g breaking bad...

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #48 on: February 11, 2014, 10:51:42 AM »
man, reboot was a great show.

Now that I think about it, it's possible that MR canon was at least in part subconciously inspired by it. who knows.

And on a canon note litt, the city doesn't have an invisible border. we've got sweet ass futuristic 50 meter high attack on titan style walls. beyond which is an endless desert.

Well, interested to see where this goes. (though i think i've got a good ideal what RL stand for.)

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline LittRL

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #49 on: February 11, 2014, 10:56:14 AM »
Need to find a HD torrent of it and go on a binge with that show.

I always imagined an invisible border because there was that desert out there. I'll change it when I get around to chapter two, sadly it'll make me walk up stairs. Even in fictional stories I hate walking up stairs.

Fifty thousand credits says it's wrong.

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #50 on: February 11, 2014, 10:59:49 AM »
Read from right to left? >.>

Im sure there are some sorts of gates you could use, and definitely floating platforms to step on.

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #51 on: February 11, 2014, 11:01:49 AM »
That's just what my profile pic is which is just a product of too much boredom.

Nah, I'll work the stairs in.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #52 on: February 11, 2014, 01:34:57 PM »
Fun fact though. Even if the universe is just a computer generated simulation brought to us by an infinitely advanced society, it doesn't matter. We're just as real and alive as we would be in a physical universe. We're just as human.

Interestingly though, reading this again, I think you might be having a similar line of thought as to me about this origin thing litt. though i'll wait to see if that's really true.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline LittRL

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #53 on: February 11, 2014, 01:53:10 PM »
That's the mystery to sentience. Were you the first or a product made by a higher existence's work (not talking gods here).

I can guarantee you I don't. First and foremost because I don't really don't know what you're referring to: the origin of existence within the story or how to do the origin story.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #54 on: February 11, 2014, 01:56:13 PM »
never guarantee anything litt.

and i mean the origin of existence that you seem to be alluding to.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #55 on: February 11, 2014, 01:59:58 PM »
If I never guarantee anything then how will my endorsements work when if I become a celebrity?

Then I can tell you for certain we aren't thinking the same thing. I just made that stuff on the spot when I checked with the Canon Guide and saw the mention of the Net so unless I come to the same conclusion as you in the future our lines have yet to prove the same.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #56 on: February 11, 2014, 02:14:37 PM »
Now you're just being misdirecting. Usually the protagonist doesn't go on a soul bearing monologue unless it's plot important.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #57 on: February 11, 2014, 02:17:33 PM »
It is important, just not now. I've only started the story on a whim so everything I write in my origin story is either a half-baked idea or I just went with what seemed acceptable.

By the way, I only say a poem by Toasty and Lego having a few chapters. Has anyone else shared their origins?

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #58 on: February 11, 2014, 02:38:04 PM »
No, but I'm about to.

Oh lookey there.



CHAPTER 1 - THE LAST STANDS

The old city was crumbling, the darkness had come, A.H. was destined to fall.

And yet they remained.

The final guard still held the line.



   Two armored warriors slammed against the side of an upturned jeep as the airstrike came down. Plasma
detonated all around them, spraying showers of searing hot energy all across what remained of the square,
and for a small while all was quiet.

   Neither of the two combatants spoke a word, nor could they convey facial expressions through the
golden visors of their helmets, but both knew that the other was still alive, and that was enough.

   Gamaliel slowly peered over the jeep, his full body power armor gently turning along with his body. It had
long ago been worn down to its original gunmetal finish, and he had never bothered repainting.

   “Looks quiet.”

   Chicken was too busy brushing rubble off his assault rifle to join him, but retorted anyways.

   “Sure it does. Sit down before they see you.”

   “Says the guy who paints his suit canary yellow.”

   “Cram it.”

   Gamaliel crouched back down and reloaded. The bots never waited for long, they’d only be sure to get a
few minutes.

   “What happened to the kid?”

   “Hell if I know. I’m not his keeper. He wants to go gallivanting around, I won’t stop him.”

   “And if that gets him killed?”

   “Then he’s out of my hair.”

   A fresh explosion rocked their eardrums and both immediately readied their rifles and shot to the sides of
the jeep. Chancing a glance, Gamaliel cocked his head around the jeep’s bumper and caught sight of their third
squad member. Last was blasting his way through a pack of bots, rifle in one hand and a grenade in the other.

   “Bring it on you stilt walkin’ sons of bitches!”

   Gamaliel slapped his hand against his visor, causing his H.U.D. to flicker.

   “Damn it kid…”

   Last had shot off one of the bot’s three tripod like legs, and rammed his shoulder into it, only to be
grabbed by its mass of tentacle like arms. Without a second thought however, Last primed the grenade and
shoved it into an open panel on the bot’s body. It went off a second later, ravaging the bot and blasting Last
to a safe distance, with only minimal scaring to his white armor.

   Chicken and Gamaliel had finally had enough however, and had broken cover and charged the two
remaining spambots. Their combined fire was more than enough to take down the already damaged bots, but
they seemed more preoccupied with the trouble their squad mate was causing them.

   “What did I tell you about breaking off from the squad?!”

   Last was lying on a pile of broken bricks and concrete, chuckling to himself as he responded.

   “Oh come on man. What’s the point of the world ending if we don’t get to have some fun at the same
time?”

   He sat up. Last’s visor was much thinner, only about as tall as it needed to be to cover his eyes. And in
fact now that all three squad members were together, it was obvious that while their armors were of the same
style, individual parts were swapped and mismatched to form a unique look.

   Chicken chimed in, calmly reloading his own rifle.

   “Well now that we’re all here again, I suggest we think about reporting into base. They’ll probably want
to know why we had to call a danger close airstrike on ourselves.”

   Gamaliel rose an armored hand and pointed at Last.

   “First though, what the hell is that thing on your back?”

   “Oh this?”

   Last twisted around until his back was in view, his finger pointed at a sword which he had hung over his
shoulder with an old bit of leather.

   “It’s a katana.”

   “And why do you have a katana?”

   “Stole it from the museum back down the street.”

   “What the hell did you do that for?!”

   “Funny story actually, long story short though: Spambots.”

   “I see, well be that as it may. You should have returned it.”

   Last spun back.

   “Yeah, ‘bout that. Museum’s wasted, barely made it out.”

   “Well crap…”

   Gamaliel walked off a few paces and started speaking into his radio, leaving Last to hop off of the rubble
pile and rejoin Chicken.

   “So how you guys been?”

   “Oh you know, outnumbered, out gunned, out everything, the usual.”

   “Fun times.”

   After a few moments Gamaliel took his hand away from his helmet and sauntered back to the group.

   “Bad news is that Alpha’s toast. It’s up to us and Delta to finish the mission. Good news is that HQ’s got
the teleporter back online, so this is no longer a one way trip. X-Ray 9 is on time too, so with any luck we’ll be
able to blast the hive and be home in time for dinner, any questions?”

   Chicken raised his hand, and though Gamaliel couldn’t see it, he knew he was wearing the sh*t eating
grin he always put on before he was about to be a smartass.

   “Any chance of them coming down here first and giving us a ride.”

   “No. But that jeep back there still has its keys in it.”

   “Sure, providing nobody’s shot out the engine block.”

   “Well if it’s that or walking another eight klicks, personally I’m fine either way.”

   “Alright, alright, help me get the damn thing turned over then.”



   Thirty minutes later after winding their way through the wreckage of their city, Gamma squad had finally
made it to their destination. They stood halfway between two shores that cut the city in half, atop a silver
suspension bridge which had been lucky enough to hold up against the war. After making sure the area was
secure, the drop-ship X-Ray 9 had swooped in between the wide columns of the bridge, and let down it’s
payload.

   The bomb was as tall as any of the soldiers in their powered armor, and lines of green energy lazily
drifted along its surface. Last kicked it in the side making a hollow sounding noise, that reverberated all
around him, though it was quickly drowned out by the sound of X-Ray 9’s engines with Delta safely onboard.

   “Tell me again why we have to be the ones who stay here and make sure the damn thing goes off?”

   Gamaliel was busy pulling wires from the bomb’s casing and hooking them up to the small computer
mounted to his wrist.

   “Because the only way to be sure the bomb will detonate is by doing it manually, and more importantly,
because we have to be sure that if the bots realize we planted a massive bomb just above their nest with the
intention of bringing down a bridge on it, that they don’t come out and disarm it while we retreat to a safe
distance.”

   “Ok, so I get that part, but why us?”

   “Cause Chicken lost the coin toss.”

   The yellow infantryman kick a chunk of rubble into Gamaliel’s side, but it bounced off harmlessly.

   “You call it next time then.”

   Finishing the connection, Gamaliel punched in a few numbers to his keypad, and yanked out the cables.

   “Timer’s set. Two and a half ‘till detonation. Hold onto your butts.”

   Word traveled fast however, and a screeching sound soon reached the soldier’s ears. The bots in the
nest below had detected the bomb, and they weren’t about to twiddle their thumbs about it.

   “Enemy signatures detected! Get your transponders on and take cover!”

   Chicken and Last shot to a either side of the bomb while Gamaliel climbed on top of the explosive itself.
Moments later the river erupted, as hundreds of spam bots came prepared to die defending their nest.

   Shear momentum was enough to launch them to the surface of the bridge, and the defenders were
barely able to hold them off. Soon the entire surface on both sides was covered with the tripods, and they
stood dense enough that one didn’t even have to aim to hit something critical. Nevertheless, they were vastly
outmanned, and quickly running out of ammo.

   Last finished his final clip for his assault rifle and chucked the entire gun at the oncoming hoard. As he
reached for his handgun however several of the bots rushed him. The first to arrive grabbed his left arm and
yanked him into the air. Doing his best to free himself, Last thought quickly and started to reach for the katana
which still hung around his back, but as he did a second of the bot’s tentacles lashed out and twisted around
his wrist. It squeezed tightly, and Last heard a horrifying crunch as his gauntlet was crushed.

   Out of desperation, Last pulled himself up into the air some more and slammed both feet against the
bot’s body. The two arms that held him were dislodged from their sockets, and Last fell flatly to the ground. His
horror only increased as he looked at his gauntlet however.

   “My damn transponder’s been smashed!”

   Gamaliel looked down at Last and then at the timer on the bomb. Only a dozen seconds remained.
Tossing his rifle to the side, Gamaliel leaped from the bomb and spring towards Last’s position.

   “Grab my hand! We’ve only got a few more seconds before beam out!”

   Last was back on his feet as well, and ran for Gamaliel with all his might. The two reached for each other,
but just as their fingers were about to touch, Gamaliel was enshrouded by light, and Last was the only
remaining human on the bridge.

   “Well…crap…”

   He turned his head towards the bomb even as the bots swarmed around him, and watched as the timer
turned to zero.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


For some real life context here. I spent some time on a Halo forum before coming to MR. I'm sure you can guess its fate.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline LittRL

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #59 on: February 11, 2014, 02:56:26 PM »
I can definitely see these guys in Spartan armor with the wise-cracking attitudes of those damned NPCs during the campaign.

There's not much going on in my head right now besides anticipation on how this ties into MR origins.