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Author Topic: Origin Stories!  (Read 9300 times)

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #15 on: February 22, 2012, 04:16:23 PM »
NUUUUU. I want to be on the crest! foreva!

Offline Tostificer

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2012, 04:32:28 PM »
I enjoyed the read, Lego! Let's see what you come up with, and how your start at MR was all like in your perspective.

In the meantime, here's a little something I did. Unsure if I'm going to make an actual story, but I just felt like writing a poem for some reason. Lemme know what you think.

Cracked from an egg, and laying bare
An honest newb, in need of care
Soon to find his own demise
When a voice called, to his surprise

The voice spoke very kind
And promised to help the newb find
The secret to his own success
To be found in his own progress

And thus began his epic quest
To change his name from newb to best
Whatever troubles might surface
Are troubles he will have to face

Not ever is his epic quest complete
Perhaps until death he might proceed
And in that case he might as well
Continue his quest in the depths of hell
Bros with Legomaestro since 2010. I think.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2012, 04:41:15 PM »
nice poem toasty! though surface and face only rhyme on paper methinks

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Tostificer

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2012, 04:43:56 PM »
Depends on the accent, I guess? But yeah, you're right. Glad you like it anyway!
Bros with Legomaestro since 2010. I think.

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #19 on: February 23, 2012, 04:32:16 AM »
That was pretty good Toasty i really did like it. Seems like it describes both the struggle of a newb and the fun of adventure. << >> that's me trying to be analytical.

Thumbs up man!

Offline mangadude

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #20 on: February 23, 2012, 10:35:43 PM »
it mit take a little while but im going to finish mine

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #21 on: March 06, 2012, 03:59:21 PM »
TWO - First Impressions

The large and wide expanse of desert stretched out to infinity. Its smooth sands and valleys of dunes were all over the place. Legomaestro was closer to 'MangaRaiders' City, but the journey didn't look promising: there was hardly any traffic as far as he could see, and the whole stretch of the distance seemed void of any activity: it was as though no one ever used this road.
     Oddly, he spotted a few craters on the way, some small, and some truly gigantic in size. It seemed strange for the windy desert to have craters, as his own footsteps disappeared within seconds of him walking. But he knew well enough from his battles to sense that great battles had happened here, and even more, this place had the smell of 'Izen'. His cat nose picked up the scent of god's – or near net gods – at work. It seemed this place had been forged into existence.
     He smelt 'Izen' in many places, but this one in particular seemed to be of the high quality: The gods or near-god's who had forged this land had done it with more spirit than he usually saw sensed. Maestro grinned and kicked off, and his black hover board picked up speed.
     There was a suspicious place just ahead of him. A certain wide area seemed flat and void of any dunes, and the craters had greatly lessened. Legomaestro's eyes changed to a multi-iris cat eye and it appeared: A wide gigantic metropolis. It had been hidden in camouflage. Or so he thought. It was just harder to see than normal.
     Maestro was shocked to see that he had been travelling on a well-made giant tarmac road all along, and various signs ("Welcome to Mangaraiders City!" "Don't forget our sibling site, EcchiRaiders!") told him he had found his destination. There were other signs of all sorts across the road, including directions to other places not even related to the site. Maestro saw some photos of what he guessed were the inhabitants of the city, smiling proudly in a group photo.
     Maestro sped up to the city.
     He stopped his hover board right at the entrance, and then blinked.
     "What?"
     His surprise was understandable, because in front of him was actually not a city, but a well-constructed cardboard frontage of a city. Strangely, it seemed to have a real door. Legomaestro sighed and opened the door, stepping in.
     Wind blew a plume of desert sand, a tumble weed rolled by, and he saw a depressing place indeed. It almost seemed like the artwork of some crazy abstract artist: there were some patches of grass, giant, cinematic
      TV screens and more photos of the various inhabitants of the city. Some sakura trees grew here and there, and there were three old empty rail tracks passing through the center.
     Legomaestro sighed heavily, "What exactly is this?"
     He looked up and noticed a towering sign placed between the railroad tracks. It held a sign placed by someone named 'Hasith.' The sign was written on a triangular, yellow metal plate with the outline of a helmet and a hammer painted on it.
     "An 'under construction' sign? What exactly is this?"
     He read the sign further, not really impressed with it.

Welcome to MangaRaiders, THE community to enjoy manga and anime. Everyone is welcome!! Here, we look out for everyone, and we all aim to make every guest and member better trained for the world with awesome powers. We never let you down and will always be united in the quest for excellence! So come join us! Remember: Once a Raider – Always a Raider!!!

NOTE: Come here! forums.mangaraiders.com


Legomaestro looked at the address. It pointed an arrow at one of the rail road tracks.
     "Ah, so this is not the real place? That's a bit shabby but... I've gone this far, haven't I?"
     He picked up his hover board, absorbing the nanomachines and thus the entire board into his hand. He pocketed his hands and walked towards the rainstation. His black cloak flapped in the wind.
     BAM!
     With a loud concussive sound, the train suddenly appeared in front of him. Legomaestro was shocked and had to take a few seconds to regain his breath. When he did, he boarded the open doors of the silver bullet train, and it sped off in another blast of sound.

Legomaestro disembarked from the train.
     "Well, i guess i better be prepared to check out those other places... maybe i wasn't trying hard enough in those other metropolises... I don't really like what i-"
     The city was there in front of him again.
     "What the- Did this train just take me back to the entrance? That's just so..."
     Maestro had to stand firm as a quake suddenly shook the ground, he saw a blue explosion erupt somewhere within the city and there was the sound of sirens. The sun was sinking just a bit lower, and he saw the shining bright lights of a city. A city that was real and alive.
     "Wait a minute... it's real?"
     He stepped out of the train, and walked. It was almost as if the city came to him, but truly it was because he was going faster with each step, until finally he was. Maestro stopped at the entrance, intimidated by a suddenly huge metropolis. It seemed so different here. While there was a cloudless desert all around, the skies seemed bluer and some clouds drifted over the city with a different weather.
     He saw various grey shapes that hung around corners, standing still without seeming to have any aim but just that. He saw footsteps appear on the ground as invisible enteties explored the city. Maestro also saw more defined and colourful peoples, sporting various clothing and weaponry, they all seemed interested in whatever they were doing. All absorbed in the city life.
     "This is it... it's a real city after all!"
     They didn't seem to notice him. He looked at himself and remembered as he saw that he was basically transparent.
     "Oh, I'm just a guest too. I need to get myself introduced! Now... where's the-"

Welcome Centre - Introduce yourself! Become a member!


     The giant TV screen on a huge tower announced amidst other advertisements. It had various popular street locations. Legomaestro was interested in the one labelled - Mortal Combat. He thought it was a typing mistake, but shrugged.
     He boarded his - grey - Hover board and blasted off toward the welcome centre. It was time to see what this place was all about.
     Legomaestro smiled with a mixture of emotions. From his journey from the front city and this place itself. He knew one thing for sure:
     This place was different.

TWO - END



Enjoy!

Man it's really tough to write this like an allegory. I don't know whether to change 'manga and anime' into some super mineral or whatever, and what to call 'art' and 'writing'. Oh well, I guess that's one part of the workshop experience.

Since the page has changed over the time I was here, I really have no real life references to show you what I mean.

The first link i got gave me the original front page of mangaraiders, and i wasn't impressed. It looked a little flat. Interesting here and there, but flat. (First impressions, mind you!)

When i finally got to the forums though, i was really interested. It was a very different place, and i think i saw some mortal combat posts... but i really can't remember that well. It was some time back.

I'll do one final chapter, and then, I have a true origin story of Legomaestro himself, to explain his form, abilities and what not. This is just my origins according to how I came to the city, and the other one will be in an in-canon style rather than allegorical tale.

So… two chapters.

And it feels great to finally write something. Hope this writing was better than the last. Still getting the hang of this.   
« Last Edit: March 07, 2012, 05:38:48 PM by legomaestro »

Offline Tostificer

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2012, 04:10:38 PM »
Certainly a very interesting introduction to the MR universe! Funny to notice that I actually skipped over the whole mangaraiders.com thing and went straight ahead to the forums. A while, I didn't even know MR had a homepage.

So that's how you arrived huh. Well keep 'em coming, I like this thing!
Bros with Legomaestro since 2010. I think.

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2012, 04:14:49 PM »
Thanks! Yeah i took the long route, but it was worth it in the end.

It was around that time that Aero monsterously appeared and surpassed my post count... >...< ugh aero. Chimera burnt like a wildfire.

Glad you liked it. But be sure to point out any problems you see! I need to be epic awesome at this one day.

Offline h_musick

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2012, 04:17:25 PM »
I didnt getta finish it yet! but It's great what i read so far!!
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,8367.0.html

"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything."
- Gustave Flaubert

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #25 on: March 06, 2012, 04:26:04 PM »
Well it's pretty short >.> but thanks anyways :p

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #26 on: March 06, 2012, 08:08:46 PM »
definitely better than the last bit lego! glad to see you're not done too. was worried for a second that that would be it.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2012, 09:00:39 PM »
I was scared of that too actually. But i've got it. glad it was better. Still gaining my footing here...

Offline Coryn

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #28 on: March 07, 2012, 03:49:00 PM »
taking a look back. noticed a technicality. guest spectres aren't guests. they're residual data forms guest leave behind. guests float through the forum invisibly. unseen and unnoticed until looked for.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Origin Stories!
« Reply #29 on: March 07, 2012, 03:50:26 PM »
Eep >...< I'll retcon accordingly.