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Author Topic: Darling be Home Soon  (Read 12487 times)

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Offline Coryn

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #195 on: April 18, 2014, 07:52:10 PM »
What is even going on here

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Offline h_musick

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #196 on: April 19, 2014, 12:23:58 AM »
chit chat... Sorry...  :blush:  :ninja:

Oh.. I mean! Lego, get back to work you good for nothing! I thought I told you not to get off topic.. *pretends that I  had nothing to do with it.*
*Pretends to be doing something important... Like filing.. that sounds important.
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,8367.0.html

"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything."
- Gustave Flaubert

Offline Coach Fro

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #197 on: June 22, 2014, 03:13:01 AM »
I really dont know why, but instead of pulling an all- nighter on reading Tower of God like how I originally planned, i decided to spend the last two hours giving this a full re-read.                                                                                                                                                                             I like this story even more now after reading through it a second time. Though I have to say that this time around the ending didn't give me a lot of satisfaction. I kind of feel like that everything was so sudden. Especially the pep talk scene between hasith and MR tan. Still I liked everything overall so you get a thumbs up from me regardless.                                                                                                                                                                                 So i guess this is the part where I shower you with thumbs up emoticons. You inspired to me to get to working on my own stuff again so you deserve it. I tried writing the third chapter for  my mr cannon but I punked out after 300 words or so. Hopefully this story will give me the spark I need.
Messatsu...



Offline legomaestro

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #198 on: June 22, 2014, 03:20:44 AM »
Random read is random, but interesting haha. Go for it man, that origin story thing didn't work out for me, but I finished at least.

Offline Coach Fro

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #199 on: June 22, 2014, 03:30:30 AM »
well im a perfectionsit (or at least try to be) so i tend to spend a lot of time thinking instead of actually doing. But once im finished with getting my butt kicked by my inner editor i definitely hop back to it.
Messatsu...



Offline legomaestro

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #200 on: June 22, 2014, 03:35:34 AM »
 The inner editor is really a problem sometimes. So tired of developing stories, they only grow and die up in my mind anyways, better to just write.

Offline Coach Fro

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #201 on: June 22, 2014, 04:01:43 AM »
yeah i understand where your coming from. But i dont know man. Even though i should be writing more, i like developing stories in my head. I find it more fun than staring at a blank computer screen. Oh well i guess just writing is better in the end
Messatsu...



Offline Coryn

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #202 on: June 22, 2014, 11:03:00 AM »
*sweeps ending under the rug*


yeah, i was never that proud of it either. I got in all the pieces that I wanted, but I never felt that I paced it right.


fights are hard to control.

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Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #203 on: June 24, 2018, 08:31:01 PM »
There, I finally read the whole thing, thanks to Fro's revival post. I'm going to try to hop around more MRverse stories to gather all the bits of lore I can use to my advantage in other situations.

It's so weird to see you guys talking about school and stuff. Yikes. Makes me feel old, somehow. Anyway, I can't be too critical of the roughness of the writing since this was about four to five years ago. It was a mostly fun little read, although I admit that I skimmed through some of the paragraphs rather than reading them because it felt like "stereotypical shounen discussion point, plot will continue in twenty seconds". (That's always been one of my difficulties in keeping up with all of MRverse, second to the fact that there's just so much).

I guess this explains my previous confusion about MR-tan's appearance. With the photobucket links that were up (before they got shut down), I may have gotten her confused with the orange raindrop design since even then there were still some issues.

Tell you what. If you can PM me descriptions of all the Tans in their current incarnation, I'll try to see if I can do a digital shot of all of them together, like a family photo or something. That way we can have a reference point.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #204 on: June 24, 2018, 08:54:02 PM »
Thanks for giving it a read! Yeah I hesitate to reread this on account of that writing skill. It was definitely a different time.

Oh snap! Yeah those photobucket links will need updating. We got some good references from the work on the VN, but I could definite do that. It would be nice to have a master sort of image with them all together.

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Offline Coryn

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #205 on: August 15, 2018, 11:25:55 PM »
Ah no. I made the mistake of rereading this last night. I'm so plagued by my past skills that I started rewriting sentences as I went through (my personal file of course, not on here)

So many good ideas squandered away by bad pacing. So many time jumps not explained whatsoever... 0_0

How did I cram so much stuff into this story? What was I thinking? There's no solid pacing, MR's development is rushed, I can't write a fight scene to savey life (hint hint past me: they should last longer than a minute)

So many things I need to remember to avoid in the future. Must learn from past mistakes.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #206 on: August 15, 2018, 11:28:12 PM »
Don't do it Coryn! Reading past works is a path to the dark side!


(Also iknowthefeelbro)


Also so long as the changes aren't too crazy and if you have the time... Go for it. Darling is pretty fundamental canon so changing stuff is iffy, but it could also help it be richer if you want to add to it somehow.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #207 on: August 15, 2018, 11:32:19 PM »
I mean, the only canonical hiccup I saw in there was that I put in first incarnation MR as looking about 10, when I always imagined her being in the 5-6 year old range? That was true in this story and every other time we've seen first form MR, but I somehow got it wrong the first time.

This is why we have a guide to keep things in stone. The small upside is I'm the only one who's written back that far, so I guess I've just played myself this whole time.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2018, 11:33:54 PM by Coryn »

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #208 on: August 15, 2018, 11:35:40 PM »
Ah, then no biggie there for sure. And oh yes, this is the perfect time to ask: Do you wish that some epic and experienced editor had pointed out your mistakes exactly and given you a run down on everything that you did wrong (like the stuff that you noticed now) or do you prefer noticing these particular shortcomings yourself? It's a question worthy of a topic of its own methinks.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Darling be Home Soon
« Reply #209 on: August 15, 2018, 11:56:04 PM »
Are lessons you learn yourself worth more than having the answers handed to you? I think you stumbled on an ancient philosophical question there.

Probably not honestly. I could have definitely done with someone who could have pointed me in the direction of how to learn though.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF