May 23, 2019, 03:20:48 PM

------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Author Topic: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun  (Read 2670 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Chibi-Xtreme

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Respect the Gin! Respect it!
    • View Profile
Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« on: April 27, 2009, 08:08:36 PM »
Chapter one: In the beginning, we see a battle between guys in robes and dragon-people riding giant lizards and battling. In the middle of it all, it cuts to a boy (In the real world) wakes up and goes to school. A voiceover explains that he's Ukrio Munenori, a Freshman in High School. He explains he's an 'A' Student who lives in a beach town (haven't thought of a good name) and he likes to surf. He also explains that he is trying to ask out a girl named Ryameru Chiba to the end-of the-year prom. He also explains that this day changed the rest of his life.
He gets up and goes to school, with his sister cooking breakfast. He also explains that his mom and dad are government workers and are always away. Next, he runs to school and plays soccer with his friend Tosoru. Tosoru's brother, Haikuu Ken also plays. Ukrio explains about the people there. Tosoru Yoichi is an average student and known as the ladies man around the school. Haikuu Ken Yoichi is known as the lazy, but cool kid.  :heart: Kasuga Hideyoshi :heart: is an honors student like Ukrio but is Tosoru's girlfriend. :heart: Ryameru  :heart: Chiba is the girl Ukrio has had his eye on. After Ukrio and the gang play some soccer, Tosoru pulls aside Ukrio to tell him how to ask Ryameru. Tosoru then almost goes through his extensive list of girlfriends and his tactics. Ukrio shys away from that, but then Tosoru gets a little more serious and tells him what he should really say. He whispers it, and Ukrio is really surprised. Tosoru pushes him over to Ryameru and tells him to say what he whispered romantically. Ukrio then says a cheesy romantic line about going to the prom, and to Tosoru's surprise, Ukrio pulled it off badly but Ryameru said yes. Tosoru is really happy that he actually helped Ukrio get a girlfriend, and Ukrio is kind of confident in himself.
He goes through the rest of day as the talk of the town, and Tosoru is proud of him. At the end of the day, Ryameru asks Ukrio if he wanted to take a self-defense class. He says yes and they go to an abandoned neighborhood that Ukrio had seen kids hang out in before. He walks with Ryameru into an old sushi restaurant where there is a guy standing at the counter. He greets Ryameru and asks about Ukrio. Ryameru says that he is joining and he needs a suit. The guy gives him one that is a martial arts uniform with a blue wave design. Ukrio quickly slips it on and is ready to be trained. He is introduced Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0

 his master Gen, who is a serious composed person trains him with actual metal scimitars. Ukrio is surprised, but keeps doing it anyway. At the end of the training, Gen gives him a pair of wooden scimitars. Ukrio leaves with the scimitars and to his surprise, Tosoru is standing right outside ready to go surfing. Ukrio is surprised he knows about where he was but kind of ignores it. They go out surfing off in the sunset. Ukrio tells him about the 'self-defense class' and Tosoru seems interested, but in a suspicious way. Ukrio goes back home and thinks about all of the oddities, but doesn't suspect anything. He goes to sleep. It then cuts to Gen at night in the dojo meditating and talking to a masked woman. They talk about Ukrio's potential as a 'disciple' and he will be strong in 'this war.' the chapter ends with a shadow of a long creature flying above the dojo.


Offline Fallen Kite

  • Fallen
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4290
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2009, 01:43:48 PM »
Sounds really good, but I think I need to know, why Ryameru wants him to go to selfdefence?
U say ya've got 4 caps.? may I read the next? Then I guess I can give better feedback :)
Work in progress: Everything.
Alternative title: Nothing.

Offline Chibi-Xtreme

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Respect the Gin! Respect it!
    • View Profile
Re: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2009, 10:38:01 PM »
Oh yeah. I've figured it out WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY ahead of this right here. I will post soon, don't worry.

Offline Coryn

  • Director of the MR Science Division
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 20512
  • Gender: Male
  • Secretly a 13 year old girl.
    • View Profile
Re: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2009, 02:49:26 AM »
sounds good! but could you please explain what this part means

He is introduced Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Chibi-Xtreme

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Respect the Gin! Respect it!
    • View Profile
Re: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2009, 04:03:53 PM »
WTF? I didn't write that!

Offline Fallen Kite

  • Fallen
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4290
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2009, 05:22:37 PM »
Work in progress: Everything.
Alternative title: Nothing.

Offline Coryn

  • Director of the MR Science Division
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 20512
  • Gender: Male
  • Secretly a 13 year old girl.
    • View Profile
Re: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2009, 08:57:46 PM »
WTF? I didn't write that!
well something happened. its in the middle of your post between the two paragraphs

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Chibi-Xtreme

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 26
  • Respect the Gin! Respect it!
    • View Profile
Re: Chapter 1: Disciples of the Sun
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2009, 01:30:30 PM »
Well, next time I watch for that.