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Author Topic: BLACK PINE H: MR  (Read 15937 times)

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Offline [aero]

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #30 on: September 26, 2010, 10:56:20 PM »
ahahah XD

Offline Account Disabled

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #31 on: September 26, 2010, 10:56:40 PM »
I'm still wondering how most of us make our appearances, like when I watch an anime of a manga I really liked but my favorite character doesn't appear until later, I am excited for further installments.

Nice job lego. 8)
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Offline Monsterful

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #32 on: September 26, 2010, 11:17:56 PM »
Huhuhuh I really want to see the freaky myself appear too!

Wanting more here too lego! xD

Offline SaiHawkeye

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #33 on: September 26, 2010, 11:59:21 PM »
You use "they're" instead of "their" quite often.

The story has a fast pace but introduces the characters fairly well now. I can't wait to see the next chapter. =)

(Oh and on another note i've made sketches of Okuno and Ishikawa i was hoping you'd make your own versions of...)

Are you saying you want us to draw Okuno and Ishikawa?
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Offline Coryn

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #34 on: September 27, 2010, 12:08:25 AM »
he was addressing toasty.

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Offline SaiHawkeye

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #35 on: September 27, 2010, 12:11:32 AM »
Oh, thank god! I was like "oh crap, more drawing? >.<
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Offline matsurinoaoi

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #36 on: September 27, 2010, 12:32:26 AM »
Niiiiice! I have to second everyone on waiting to see what happens next...I mean, they're locked inside of a hospital full of zombies, and there's still characters to be introduced! Kya XD I just hope that I'll be able to help more than hurt XD

Offline Coryn

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #37 on: September 27, 2010, 12:34:56 AM »
actually matsu they're in an a huge bunker thats deep below the crater that used to be a hospital.

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #38 on: September 27, 2010, 05:17:24 AM »
@ Coryn Ah, yes, Hood. That's the word alright. I've fixed it.

@ Monster i was going for coolness but hey, lol carries much more reaction. Thanks! And don't worry Kaijin will be turning up somewhere soon... With as much creepeness and wierdness (and evil geniusness) as needed

@ Aero thanks, *phew!* relieved that it's interesting. It will get a little horrific soon though.

@ AnimeDoodler like Coryn said the deaths don't happen yet. But that doesn't mean you won't survive... or will it? XD I can't spoil it, though. You just have to keep you're fingers crossed...

@ Thanks Litt! I hope your appearance won't be anti-climatic. But it'll definately happen soon!


@ Sai thanks for pointing that out i'll fix it. I'm glad you liked it. Next chapter will be up pretty soon.

@ Mastu Thanks and yeah it's actually a huge bunker.And we'll see how useful you are. Doodler's sketch might've just saved you from being zombie fodder... The flame thrower she drew looked really inspiring...

Offline legomaestro

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #39 on: September 27, 2010, 03:34:25 PM »
*An MR member dies today... lalalalala*
I might slow down a little in terms of posting chapters. Got some stuff to handle. The material is there for sure though and i'll definately reach an end. The project is looking like um... Ten Stages long?
Anyhow enjoy and get freaked. Any mistakes noticed will be appreciated.

PLOT SUMMARY: Sai brings the whole group to a hub-like room, where he has set up temporary base until a hacker breaks through a door. Sai gives an explanation for the events up until he found Doodler, Aero and Coryn. However The slight calm of inactivity ends horrifically.

STAGE 2: Hub Chattin’


     The metal hallway twisted every which way until finally, they reached a golden-painted door that had an electronic keypad. Sai stopped the vehicle with a gentle skid and stepped out before it even switched off,
     “Totsificer. Let’s go.”
     “Yeah okay.” The silent kid said in a surprisingly strong tone. He stepped out of the tailgate. The terrified school girl slowly stepped out as well, following Totsificer and Sai. Coryn, Aero and Doodler followed suit.
     When Sai reached the door, he opened the keypad, pressed a couple of numbers and it opened with a hiss.
     A gun greeted him. Sai walked past it without glancing at the soldier who carried it. The soldier lowered the gun as the others walked past.
     Finally they all went through, into a bright room. It was dome shaped, with clean air and many things looking like MRI machines. There were white biohazard suits on racks, guns, medical equipment on tables and machines running white boxes over conveyer belts.
     It was basically like a mixture between an airport, a hospital and a military base. (But mostly hospital-like)
     “You’ve checked these people for infection?” The soldier asked Sai as the golden door closed with a hiss.
     “There’s no need. They weren’t touched.” Sai replied as he sat down on a chair. Coryn suddenly grinned to himself and headed off towards the gun rack, while Aero tuned the dials on his datapad, trying to get a connection with the outside world.
     “Where are we with the door? Have you cracked the code yet?” Sai asked one of the soldiers.
     “The kid says he’s almost got it.” The soldier said as he waved towards a door. At that door a teenager in a black jumpsuit was fiddling with the key pad, “Just about ten minutes remaining.” The kid said without looking around.
Doodler stepped forward and spoke to Sai, “Okay, before you get comfortable give us a brief on what’s happening. We know about the Hosts, and we know an investigation Team came down here, and that you, Sai, are one of the top members involved in this investigation, like us.”
     She sheathed her broadsword, “But who are these people? And how exactly are you already here?”
Sai cracked his knuckles, “We are the other part of the investigation Team. Group 24. Working under Professor Kaijin’s orders.”
     “Huh? I thought he was a major suspect and was being interrogated about this place?”
     “I thought so too. But two high ranking officials released him, and as soon as he lost his hand cuffs he walked up to me and ordered I and four others to follow. Before I could even inquire some higher up contacted me and told me to follow the orders without question… If only I had probed further-”
     Sai leaned back, the chair tipped over, resting on two legs and at an angle, but using sheer balancing skill he kept it from toppling over,
     “-before I continue let me give you introductions,” Sai nodded towards the soldiers, “Falcon, basically a gunner.”
      He waved carelessly towards the person hacking the keypad, “-Legomaestro, hacker from the NextGen Guild. And finally Totsificer, crack sniper, also from the NextGen Guild. The fourth member… Matsurinaoi, an explosives expert, is presumed dead.”
     Doodler raised her eyebrows, “I’ve heard of her… and NextGen Guild… So that insane project to use teenagers in combat is true, huh? Continue…”
     “Yeah…”
     Sai sat the chair down properly, “we went down the elevator, and Kaijin is smiling and talking to himself. Sometimes he glared at me and said, ‘Almost right but not enough. Sad sad sad... The whole situation already annoyed me, and he kept on being random…”
     “...We finally reached the bottom and it was clear. There was that truck waiting for us and Kaijin walked into the passenger side and ordered me to drive. He directed us straight to this hallway we’ve just used without so much as a glance around. He knew the place. We could only keep quiet, as we were under express orders to aid him. We reached this door, got out of the car and we got in.”
     “...We entered this room, and Kaijin just walks on over to that door that kid is now hacking, and walks in. Before we could follow he says, “Save the kids if you can. Being eaten is an unfortunate death.” And closes the door, locking it.”
     “...We aren't using force on this door because bullets bounce dangerously off its surface and explosives wouldn’t be wise Firstly because we have no idea what the room structure is like or what gases are hanging around and Secondly, because we need them for the Hosts, of course.”
     Sai folded his arms, “That’s about it. When we were locked in I ordered Lego to start hacking and Falcon to guard, and I came back to the entrance area with Totsificer. I found this school girl half-dead and about to be eaten by the Hosts. Totsificer took some out, we picked her up and that’s when you two arrived on the scene… And now we are here. I’ve barely had time to get comfortable-”
     “It’s done!” Lego called to the group, everyone looked up as the door hissed open-
     -a zombie jumped and sunk its teeth into Lego’s face. He screamed once before it twisted its head and tore his face off.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2010, 10:12:35 AM by legomaestro »

Offline SaiHawkeye

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #40 on: September 27, 2010, 03:55:47 PM »
I lol'd at the first death. =P  haha

It started off great but I got confused when random quotation marks seemed to appear in the second half of the story. It seemed like narration and spoken words were being mixed.
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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #41 on: September 27, 2010, 04:13:40 PM »
Haha, well it seems as if you died off pretty quickly lego. I find it funny how nobody was ready for that, given there were three snipers in the room, Doodler with a broadsword, Coryn with a shotgun, and Sai being Sai. I would have expected snipers to be ready or something.
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
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Offline legomaestro

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #42 on: September 27, 2010, 04:19:10 PM »
@ Sai hehe i was hoping for that. About the qoutations i thought the narrative was too long so i was hoping to make breaks in between. I guess it didn't turn out too well. I'll fix it when i can.

@ Litt Well it was meant to be a surprise, since they were busy doing their own things. They do react quickly in the next chapter. This stage went on to make two whole stages so i've split it up.

And i did promise i'd get my character killed.

Offline Coryn

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #43 on: September 27, 2010, 04:58:20 PM »
i kinda thought it was funny the way you died. reminds me of how one of my friends will probably die actually...but that's a whole other zombie story.

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #44 on: September 27, 2010, 05:03:20 PM »
Hehe well... it was meant to be embarrasing so it's good i accomplished a little humor...

* wonders what zombie story that is... feeling insecure...*