April 21, 2018, 09:15:52 PM

------------------------------------------

If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar


------------------------------------------
If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.






Author Topic: BLACK PINE H: MR  (Read 14936 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Tostificer

  • Lord Conqueror Toast
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3293
  • Gender: Male
  • Bigger they come, harder they fall
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2010, 02:01:13 PM »
Or I just found it at a weapon storage.

Heck, maybe santa gave it to me! Might have looked something like this...

Bros with Legomaestro since 2010. I think.

Offline [aero]

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4557
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2010, 08:03:36 PM »
ahahah kari XD

Offline Tostificer

  • Lord Conqueror Toast
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3293
  • Gender: Male
  • Bigger they come, harder they fall
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #17 on: September 25, 2010, 04:41:09 AM »
I know, right?!
Bros with Legomaestro since 2010. I think.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18613
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #18 on: September 26, 2010, 01:18:43 PM »
I had a case of Writer's Block but i burst through it quite suddenly. The story has completely revealed itself and i know what Monster is up to with his diabolical scheme and how things will play out in general.

As always, enjoy the chapter and don't read too much into things. Tell me what you think with even with as few words as possible.


PLOT SUMMARY: AnimeDoodler and Aero descend into the Bunker. They try to call in backup but after some confused shouting and an explosion radio contact is cut off. Before they can even process this fact they're faced by hundreds of bloodthirsty zombies.


STAGE 1: Gracious Hosts

     The cage-like elevator rattled as it sunk underground. Only a single, sad light provided any vision and Doodler and Aero were starting to get tense. There was a wet smell and the walls that the light shone on slowly changed from dirt, to cement, and finally-
     “Metal…” Doodler whispered.
     “Yeah, looks really tough too.” Aero brought up his data pad, “Wow, we’re like 500 metres deep.”
     Then the ‘walls’ disappeared and the elevator descended into a wide open space. Doodler and Aero looked around as they saw different floors filled with metal pipes, spheres, containers and big consoles. There was a constant low hum of activity. The space overall was like a giant square container.
     “Wow…” Aero whispered.
     “Okay, this qualifies as big news. Contact Coryn, tell him to round up fifteen teams to come down and search this place. Then inform HQ what we’ve found.”
     “Yup.” Aero tapped his headset and used the data pad to tune into a frequency. Suddenly the lights flickered, followed by a deep rumble. Aero grabbed the cage to gain his footing.
     “What the-?”
     There was another rumble, and then voices shouted over the radio, they were unclear and full of static,
     “What … hell? Cease fire!”
     “Friendly fire friendly fire!”
     “Who’s chopper fleet is that-?”
     “Watch out!”
     There was another deep rumble that shook the elevator and the voices disappeared to a river of static.
Aero looked at Doodler, “We have a problem.”
Doodler didn’t reply, she just suddenly drew her broadsword, almost knocking Aero in the head with the pommel,
     “Hey- watch it-”
     “Pull out your gun, NOW.” Doodler breathed.
     “I don’t have one. You know I don’t use guns at all.” Aero took out a combat knife, “Why-?”
     But then he knew why she was acting so strange. The lighting in the higher areas was so bright that the floor of the whole space had been cast in shadow. Now that the elevator was finally reaching the floor, Aero could see the crowd of… things… walking on all fours. They clearly used to  be human, and wore dirty grey coveralls…
     “Wait. Are those-?”
     “Don’t think we’ll have time to ask.”
     The elevator landed, and the cage opened with a loud metallic groan, and then the zombies looked up and screamed, then they started running as a whole group towards the two. They’re movements were so instant  that two of them were already on them within three seconds, hardly enough time to make the elevator go up again.
     Doodler stepped forwards and slashed sideways. The thing’s head and body were sliced deeply and it tumbled sideways into the elevator. Its companion had attacked Aero, who ducked and shouldered it over him, making it smack into the elevator wall, then he flung the knife and it stabbed through its skull deeply. It coughed once and remained still.
     Aero was surprised, “They’re bodies must’ve really decayed.”
He turned and took out his last knife, facing the advancing hoard of zombies.
     “Doodler?”
     “I know...”
     “We’re good at this but but…”
     “I know… Fingers crossed, right?” She smiled nervously.
     The two faced off on the hundreds of zombies. In five seconds they would be buried in bloodthirsty beasts.
     - But there was a roar of an engine, and a stabbing light shot over the zombies heads. Some of them turned to look and Doodler and Aero blinked in the light.
     A vehicle roared through the zombies, crushing the things until finally reaching Doodler and Aero. It was a big, heavy off road vehicle, with four seats and an exposed tailgate. On the tail gate there was a young teenager carrying a sniper with ease. Whilst on one of the four seats sat a terrified school girl, while a familiar face drove the vehicle itself,
     “You’re… Sai, right?” Aero said as he slid into a seat.
     “Get in, we’ll share later.”
     Doodler slid over the hood of the car and sat in the shotgun seat. Sai roared off just as a zombie jumped through the air with a howl.
     The vehicle roared along the metal floor, its engine echoed throughout the space. Aero looked back to see the zombies were keeping a regular pace running after the car. The kid with the sniper didn’t seem to care, though. He just stared ahead.
     Soon a hallway was revealed. Next to it was another cage-like elevator. Aero and Doodler could just make out the form of a tired looking individual with a backpack and a gun. A shotgun, as it turned out.
     “Hey, Coryn!”
     Sai stopped the car with a short skid. Coryn shook his head and wheezed as he stepped up onto the tailgate, the car roared off as he spoke,
     “Don’t even think about going back up there. Phew!” He wiped his brow. I like a little action but things were way too intense.”
     Just as he said that there was a loud rumbling and a tongue of fire blasted down the elevator shaft he had come down from, followed by a rain of heavy rocks. Sai passed through the hallway just as rocks rolled to block it. The Hosts screamed in frustration.

« Last Edit: September 27, 2010, 05:05:46 AM by legomaestro »

Offline Tostificer

  • Lord Conqueror Toast
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3293
  • Gender: Male
  • Bigger they come, harder they fall
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #19 on: September 26, 2010, 01:28:08 PM »
Wow, nice chapter! I love the way they met up with Sai and Coryn, but... What were they doing there in the first place?! I guess we'll find out.
Bros with Legomaestro since 2010. I think.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18613
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #20 on: September 26, 2010, 01:31:24 PM »
Thanks. did you notice someone carrying a sniper hm??? XD
For Sai, yes you will. For Coryn he came down from an elevator... That was what i implied. I'll make it clearer though.

(Oh and on another note i've made sketches of Okuno and Ishikawa i was hoping you'd make your own versions of...)

Offline Coryn

  • Director of the MR Science Division
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 19803
  • Gender: Male
  • Secretly a 13 year old girl.
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #21 on: September 26, 2010, 01:33:32 PM »
nice chapter! some grammar things though....hm... towards the beginning you have rumble twice. at the end you should but an "a" before tongue and somewhere you had doodle slide over the boot of the vehicle? boot isnt exactly a word we in america we use for a car part. explain please?

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Tostificer

  • Lord Conqueror Toast
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3293
  • Gender: Male
  • Bigger they come, harder they fall
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #22 on: September 26, 2010, 01:38:25 PM »
Yeah, the sketches! I will make them, of course. I'm just so damn busy!

...Wait, if I make a list of the things I have to draw, I might make them all before tomorrow. I'll try.

And yeah, I did notice that someone... I just couldn't place my finger on who that could be.
Bros with Legomaestro since 2010. I think.

Offline legomaestro

  • High Chancellor of Righteousness
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 18613
  • Gender: Male
  • real life has wack graphics
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #23 on: September 26, 2010, 01:39:38 PM »
@ Coryn Thanks. And Ugh... sorry... i didn't correct the first draft where i made that 'boot' mistake.
I meant to say over the front of the vehicle (Over the engine-block?). Let me fix..

@ Toasty thanks. If it's too much you can always do it later.

Offline Coryn

  • Director of the MR Science Division
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 19803
  • Gender: Male
  • Secretly a 13 year old girl.
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #24 on: September 26, 2010, 01:49:20 PM »
the word you would be looking for is "hood"

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Monsterful

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2960
  • Gender: Male
  • Retired
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #25 on: September 26, 2010, 01:55:12 PM »
Lol'ed at sai's appearance xD. Nice stuff lego!

Offline [aero]

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4557
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #26 on: September 26, 2010, 02:38:08 PM »
yeah hoods the correct word... and i allways thought the boot was the trunk O_o

anyways nice chapter lego this is getting really interesting

Offline Coryn

  • Director of the MR Science Division
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 19803
  • Gender: Male
  • Secretly a 13 year old girl.
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #27 on: September 26, 2010, 02:52:32 PM »
i guess i have heard the trunk referred to as the boot. but what's described isnt exactly a car. more of a truck thing.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline AnimeDoodler

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4582
  • Gender: Female
  • Life's a pencil and someone is chewing my eraser..
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #28 on: September 26, 2010, 10:47:25 PM »
nice lego!!! love ti so far and am glad to still be alive -w-

Offline Coryn

  • Director of the MR Science Division
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 19803
  • Gender: Male
  • Secretly a 13 year old girl.
    • View Profile
Re: BLACK PINE H: MR
« Reply #29 on: September 26, 2010, 10:54:31 PM »
cant imagine you'd die yet anyways. i mean toasty is still alive after all.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF