It's really interesting but it's becoming a novel with pictures in the background, rather than a manga. You see, there are a few very simple things that make manga what it is. And in this case, what's keeping it from looking and feeling like a manga is the narration. Narration should only occur around 20% of the time. I'm not saying you should take it out completely, it's actually what makes this interesting, just try and keep it as short as possible and let the story move along naturally. The third to last and final panel on page 12 have an overabundance of narrative, the problem with this is that the reader will spend too much time reading the narrative that he/she will become dislodged from the flow of the panels. Anyway, this is just my personal opinion, there are actually quite a lot of manga that have quite a lot of dialogue, though this doesn't seem like it'll fit. But please, keep this up, it's become something I look forward to reading daily :)
Topic: Legomaestro's Art Box (Read 316857 times)
