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Author Topic: NitroX  (Read 8771 times)

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Offline Iceh

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NitroX
« on: May 15, 2010, 07:58:17 PM »

Summary/Basic Plot

NitroX is a comedy about soul gatherers. Sound familiar? Yes, it could very well be the basic plot of all other manga out there (ie. Soul Eater, BLEACH, etc.). But NitroX has it's own differences and uniqueness. For one thing, "soul gatherers" (they actually don't have a name yet.. I just made that up on the spot right now because that's the best way to describe them..) are all people that died in their lives because of an "accident". This accident could be anything from being shot (on accident), being hit by a car (on accident), or being chopped up into tiny little pieces (on accident). Once they die and become part of this new surreal world (which is still on earth, it just cannot be seen by normal people) where they work under their boss, Death.

The Characters

Klitch. The main character.
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/School/nitroXscan.jpg
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/School/nitroXpenned.jpg

Canba. Another lead.
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/canbaheart.jpg
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/camoo.jpg

Acanthus. Another lead.
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/sg.jpg
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/a1.jpg

Zxiom. Another lead.
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/zxiom.jpg
(Doodle on the middle, left.)

Answer. Minor character.
http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae314/dsr_08/nitro.jpg

Chapter 1


Klitch unhitched the earpiece off and gripped it in his hand as he ran. Even though the tiny microphone was in the palm of his hand, he could still hear Canba and Renato bitching at him to come back so they could figure out a plan.
*censored* that, Klitch smiled. He had his own plan. Just chase the stupid soul down and stab it until it dies -- it works all the time. The soul wasn’t particularly strong either. It was fairly weak and was barely able to keep its pace in front of Klitch. But the little bastard had wings.
It came to a cliff, surely it would stop. It didn’t. It jumped high into the air, a dust cloud forming where he jumped, and flapped his tiny wings until it landed on the cliff above and across the giant drop.
Klitch didn’t stop either as he leapt from the cliff, reaching his arm out to grab the cliff edge. His fingertips just barely skimmed the rock before beginning to fall.
“Aw, *censored*.” He whispered, pulling his scythe out from its holder on his back, swinging it above his head and planting it into the rock, stopping the fall.
Then he just hung there.
He could hear Canba mocking him from in the microphone, “You fell, didn’t you?” Klitch threw the earpiece over his shoulder, watching it drop into the bottomless pit.
You’ve been in worse situations than this, Klitch told himself, then looked down at the black abyss below him. …Okay not much worse than this but you can manage! He looked up at the ledge then planted his leg against the side of the cliff. I’ll just jump… that’ll work.
No, it won’t. The scythe wiggled a little in the hole, threatening to fall out at any moment. Klitch frowned when a shadow passed overhead, he heard the soul he’d been chasing start screeching, then silence. Footsteps, then a familiar dark-green haired man stuck his head over the side of the cliff.
“Having fun?” He smiled down mockingly at Klitch, sticking his tongue out a little, teasing him. If Klitch’s hand were free, he would’ve flipped him off.
“A blast.” Klitch replied sarcastically. “Help me up, jacka--” Klitch saw the glare from the man above. Best not to insult the man who could easily let you fall to your death. “Acanthus.”
“Sure.” Acanthus swung his arm over the edge of the cliff. Klitch’s eye twitched. Acanthus smiled down at him, “What? Just grab one of the fangs.” Facing Klitch was a oversized Venus Flytrap, it’s fangs baring out at him, it’s tongue lashing out. Klitch wondered how Acanthus could stand sticking his hand in the back and wearing them like goddamn gloves.
“Or you could just grab the blade.” Acanthus was laying down now, his head resting on his propped up hand as he stared down amusingly at Klitch.
“You’re funny.”
“Or you could just fly up here-- Oh, that’s right.” Acanthus grinned.
“Or I could remove your vocal cords through your ass.” Klitch snapped back, regretting it when he saw Acanthus laugh and pull his snapping death-trap back up. He disappeared overhead. Surely he wouldn’t just leave Klitch there to die?
Klitch mentally sighed in relief when he saw Acanthus come back, the Venus Flytrap detached from his arm. He reached down, grabbing the top of Klitch’s scythe, wiggling it a little. Klitch screamed in response, wrapping his legs around the staff of the scythe.
“’The *censored* are you doing?!”
“Pulling you up.” He removed the scythe from the rock and, in one swing pull, pulled Klitch up and over the ledge of the cliff.
Klitch remained clinging onto his scythe as he flew into the nearest wall. His scythe landing a few feet away from him as he fell, he looked up at Acanthus who was re-attaching his Venus Flytraps to his arms.
“I knew you had a heart.” Klitch teased as he stood up, brushing the dust off his clothes. Acanthus scoffed.
“I would’ve gotten in trouble if I had let you died, asshole.” He turned away from Klitch, “Your fault for running away anyway.”
“You ran away before me!”
“I wasn’t running away, asshole. I was tracking the goddamn soul -- Something YOU should have been doing!”
“You were obviously doing a piss-poor job of it since I found it first!” Klitch picked up his scythe just in time to deflect the snapping fangs that had attacked his head. Acanthus pulled back his arm and swung again at Klitch.
“Who was it who killed it again!?” He yelled as Klitch ducked just in time to dodge the blade attached to the Flytrap.
“I could’ve killed it!” Klitch shouted, bringing his scythe down toward Acanthus’s head. Acanthus brought both arms up, stopping the scythe above him. They were practically nose-to-nose now.
“With what? Your limp-wing and a stick?” Acanthus shouted back.
“You would know a lot about limp things wouldn’t you?” Klitch grinned. Apparently Acanthus was now uncomfortable with Klitch being so close to him as he pushed up Klitch’s scythe and spun around, kicking Klitch in the stomach and sending him into the wall.
Acanthus grinned and clicked the earpiece on, looking at Klitch.
“I’ll *censored*in’ show yah what limp is if you keep mouthing off to me like that-- good luck walking back to Death’s office.”
“…What the hell are you guys talking about?” Renato’s voice came through the microphone, “What did you guys…?”
Acanthus looked taken aback, “I didn’t know you picked up so fast.” He shook his head, “And NOTHING. Why?”
“It’s just, that sounded really…”
“Shut up and put on Canba.”
“…Fine.”
Static.
“You’re all assholes -- why am I stuck with this team again?”
Klitch stood up and walked over to Acanthus, “Because none of the other team captains wanted to put up with your menstrual cycle once a month.”
“Klitch, is that you?! Where the hell have you bee-- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”
“Mood swing. Told yah.” Klitch grinned and walked over to the little bloody Soul that was crumpled next to the wall of the cave. He tapped on it’s head lightly as he ignored Acanthus and Canba’s bickering behind him. The Soul didn’t move, Klitch shrugged and tapped on it’s head again.
“Helloooo? Acanthus, did you kill it?”
“Duh.” Acanthus replied, walking over and hanging the receiver up on Canba, “Why?”
“Well, usually when we kill one a little light comes out of the top of it’s head and it’s all sparkly and magical… but this one’s just… dead.” He tapped its head again.
“I’m pretty sure I killed it.”
“Maybe he’s just knocked out-- HOLY*censored**censored*.” The little Soul sprang toward Klitch’s face, clinging on in a frantic, panicky, matter. Klitch flailed and fell backwards, rolling on the ground and trying to pry the Soul off his face.
“Hold still! I’ll stab it again!”
“YOU’LL STAB MY HEAD!”
“…Hold still! I’ll stab it again!”
“*censored* you!” Klitch screamed. His fingers wrapped around the Soul and roughly pulled it away from his face, it left long red scratches across his cheeks from trying to hold on. Klitch stared at the little white creature in his hands. It stared up at him with big eyes. Klitch flinched.
----
“We can’t just-” Acanthus was cut off by Klitch shoving his palm in his face, pushing him out of his way as he walked past. Acanthus scowled and started after him. “We can’t take a Soul back! Death will just tell you to kill it, anyway.”
Klitch glanced back at him, the little white Soul was perched on his shoulder. And if it could smile, it was. Acanthus tried not to look directly at it, there was something oddly charming about the little creature.
Turning away, Klitch put a hand on the little Soul’s head, it snuggled and rubbed his head into Klitch’s palm.
“It’ll be fine.” Klitch said as he continued walking, his scythe jiggling with every step. “Death can be a good guy sometimes, you know?”
“Yes--well, no-- but I know he won’t let you keep that thing as a pet.” Acanthus shot back, glaring at the back of Klitch’s head. Klitch snapped his head around but didn’t stop.
“’That thing’?” Klitch furrowed his brow and scoffed, turning his head back, “He has a name.”
“Oh, now it’s a he, is it?” Acanthus raised an eyebrow but Klitch just nodded. “Right, and since when do Souls have genders?”
“Ever since I decided it’s a guy. His name’s… Caverockpuddle.” Klitch’s eyes darted around the cave as he named off the things he saw. He patted the little Soul on his shoulder again, “No, just Puddle, actually.”
“Good to know my kick didn’t do any damage to your naming skills.” Acanthus rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as he walked. “Have you even considered what Death will do to that thing when he see’s it?”
Klitch paused. That was Acanthus’s answer.
“He’ll kill it in front of you then take the spirit away as punishment for being stupid and trying to take it in as a pet.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“He’ll make YOU kill it.”
“He’ll let me keep it.”
----
“Kill it.”
Death sat in front of Klitch and his team. Acanthus smiled smugly as Canba and Zxiom stood off to the side. Death’s desk looked like any normal work desk. It has messy papers flown around randomly on his desk and had a normal looking intercom attached to the side. He leaned back in his oversized chair and looked down at the little Soul staring up at him from his desk.
Klitch stepped forward, “Why-- It’s not like he’s dangerous!”
“He?” Death raised an eyebrow, then snapped his eyes down to the desk. It looked liked he was looking at the Soul, but then he reached for his coffee cup. “Answer, more coffee.”
Like any boss known in the universe, Death had a secretary. The young man perked his head up from his desk on the far side of the room. His long sleeves dangling after him as he quickly rushed over to Death’s desk, picked up the mug, and left the room without a word. Death watched him go but then looked at Klitch.
“He?”
“Yes, he.” Klitch picked up the Soul off the desk and put it on his shoulder. The Soul buried it’s head near the back of Klitch’s neck, as if scared. “His name’s Paddle-”
“Puddle.” Acanthus sighed.
“-Puddle and he doesn’t even have any powers. Just claws but I can teach him to--”
Death put up his hand and frowned. “I’m bored. Everyone leave the room.” Klitch deflated and started to move along with everyone else, but stopped and Death cleared his throat, “Not you, Klitch.”
His team looked back, wondering but not asking as they left. Klitch stood alone in front of Death’s desk.
“You can keep it.” Death said, and before Klitch could respond with his beaming face, Death held up a hand, “Of course, if you do something for me.”
“What?” Klitch asked, looking a little weary of Death, he knew deals with Death were always bad…
“There’s this soul on the far regions of Cambrian, I want you to go take care of it.”
This was probably a trick. Klitch frowned and backed up a little, “Just me?”
“Yes. I think you’ll be able to handle it.” Death flicked the file across the desk and it slid to the edge. Klitch picked it up. “It’s a Soul that eats other Souls. The council has been on my case about it for a few days now, and I figured since you don’t seem to be busy…?”
“It eats… how strong is it?”
“I didn’t think that would be an issue for you.” Death smiled. He leaned back in his chair, “Unless you want Amaranth or Canba to accompany you?”
Klitch’s eyebrow visibly twitched as he gripped the file harder, wrinkling it beyond repair.
“Tch, no. Why would I need their help-- they slow me down.” He replied, turning away from Death. Death smirked and sighed.
“Well then, You’d better get going.”
Klitch turned on his heel and headed for the door, just as he passed through it, he passed Answer, startling him into almost dropping the tray of coffee. Shakily he walked up to Death’s desk, placing the tray neatly on the corner. He nervously met Death’s eyes.
“I-Is Klitch going on another mission?” He asked slowly.
“Yes.” Death answered, grabbing his coffee mug and the pot off the tray. “Though… just in case, call the funeral service and have them prepare for his return.”
Answer visibly deflated and Death caught it. Answer let out a little, “Oh.” and walked over to his desk, sitting down sadly and starting on the letter to the funeral service team. Death sighed and leaned back in his chair again. He regretted ever letting them become friends.

----
« Last Edit: July 11, 2010, 10:19:30 PM by Iceh »

Offline Fnnenn Enninn

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2010, 08:19:06 PM »
It's pretty good xD
And I could almost tell you didn't write it, the style didn't seem to fit what I know of your personality.
Anyway, it's pretty good, the ending made me laugh really loudly.
Were going to party like it's 1986/ Blow in the cartridge and get ya' fix./

Offline Iceh

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2010, 08:24:54 PM »
Thanks. =D
That's our goal- to make people laugh.
My friend also wrote some one-shots.. but sadly she doesn't want me to post them. Only chapters. They're really funny though. xD I'll try to convince her to let me post them.. :P

Offline [aero]

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2010, 09:18:36 PM »
baaw now theres more on my list to read x_x anyways from the description and the pics, it looks like a mixture between Soul Eater and Gantz, and artwise semi deathnote-ish

ill write some more when i catch up on reading T-T

Offline Iceh

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2010, 09:48:25 PM »
Haha. Well have fun reading. My friend is really good at writing, so you should enjoy it. (;
And yeah, I've gotten Gantz before as well with the description..

And thanks. =D Huge compliment if my art looks a bit like Takeshi Obata's. He's an absolute genius.

Offline [aero]

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2010, 10:21:26 PM »
ahahaha the ending was great XD

anyways the differences between this and the afore mentioned mangas is pretty obvious, though they do share a lot in the basic story makeup

i like the writing, and im curious to see how you make it stand out from the crowd

Offline Iceh

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2010, 12:06:13 PM »
I'm curious as well..
I'm leaving the writing part totally up to my friend though.
And that.. is something I usually don't do. With many of my other projects I usually have a little bit or a lot of say on the story.. but in a way, this kind of thing is funner.

I'm going to be creating characters and their names.. and just throwing them out there. She then gives them personality and then writes about them.... Fun process I'd say. (;

Offline [aero]

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2010, 04:36:37 PM »
sounds kind of backwards from normal, but if it works it works XD

Offline Iceh

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2010, 06:01:03 PM »
Yup, and works, it does.
xD
I guess it makes it more fun that it's kind of a backwards process.. :/

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2010, 08:53:32 PM »
Whew, finally read it all. I've gotta say that it's really well written. It made me chuckle, humor is kind of crude though, good thing I'm a guy. I'll be keeping up with this story for sure now.

It's also good to know that Beat Limit is gonna be worked on. :D
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

Offline Iceh

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2010, 08:33:06 PM »
Thanks. =D
I've been bugging my writer to work on the second chapter.. so hopefully it'll be up soon. (;

And yup.. this humor could possibly be offensive to girls.. :/
Girls are quite a bit more awesome now-a-days and can take a joke though. xDD
Example: A girl wrote this. Hahaha.

Offline [aero]

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2010, 09:31:50 PM »
i like the comedy style >_>

i think its become more of a personal preference then a gender thing overall

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2010, 09:43:10 PM »
I like the humor too, I was just kind of saying that it's mostly guys that have such a crude sense of humor, like the story itself would probably be a seinen.
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

Offline [aero]

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2010, 09:46:39 PM »
*goes to look up the different names for this stuff*

yah im lucky if i catch domo x_X

Offline Monsterful

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Re: NitroX
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2010, 05:24:30 PM »
Just read it, pretty funny but yeah as it has already been said kinda crude well mostly cuz of swearing and such, but not THAT crude if you ask me!

funniest prank 4 me was the  vocal cords through ass thing. Keep it up!