The three part story: Part 1: Densetsu no karasu(The legendary crow)

[Hinata Tokumi]

I think I just figured out how to describe my story.

Title: Part 1: The Karasu
Genre: Romance, action, comedy
Centuries ago, there were different creatures that roamed the earth causing havoc for humans but there was one particular creature that didn't hurt humans but actually helped humans. Karasus. Karasus means crows. They are creatures that look human but have the features of a crow for example they were able to retract and protract their wings. They would tell other creatures to stop hurting humans but humans would think that we were teaming up with the other creatures. In conclusion, creatures, including Karasus, were driven out towns by humans so creatures were thinking of two options. Co-existing with humans or secretly live from humans. One day, a karasu was caught by a human picking some berries from a bush and a war broke out because the human thought that the karasu was a demon. They rewarded us with the nickname tengu when we were only karasus. Tengus are crow demons. A lot blood was shed and a lot lives were taken away. Suddenly, the population of Karasus was going down and it wasn't because of the humans killing them it was something else. Creatures known as chigaus was killing Karasus and stealing their powers to kill humans. Another war broke out and it was now between the Chigaus and the humans. Suddenly, during the battle, a large explosion knocked everyone off they feet in the battle. A teenager, that was crying and cut up, screamed no. She began to glow different colours. She unlocked her powers and she looked an angel. She used her powers to calm the war down and using her powers, peace was restored. She was known as the legendary crow..... A couple centuries ago, in the 21st century, the legend still lives on. Seventeen year old, Yuki, has been running for a long time away from Chigaus. Her parents disappeared when she was young. No trace of them: no clue or anything. Nowhere is safe for her. Everywhere she goes, she is encountered by chiagus. How will she get away if they're everywhere she goes? You'll find out soon.

Character descriptions

Name: Yuki
Female
Crow
Personality: Nice, softhearted, strong, stubborn, easily angered.
Yuki is a seventeen year old that is very kind and loving but she does have her strong side as well. She has long brown hair and she is the right height for a seventeen year old. She is currently running from chigaus because of being the daughter of the previous legendary crow thus inheriting her powers. Her parents have disappeared and she doesn't know whether they're dead or not. She was previously visited by a guy about her age in a dream that she had before any of this even happened and she was told to run as fast as she could because he was going to save her though the chigaus were on her tail. They finally catch up to her but at the moment she is about to die she is saved by the guy from her dream. Yuki uses different types of elements and powers. 

Name: Kyo
Male
Crow
Personality: Loving, jealous easily, perverted, strong.
Kyo is the same age as Yuki but he is older than her. He has long black hair that he ties in a ponytail and he's taller than Yuki. He is Yuki's childhood friend and her saviour. She forgot about him because of the whole chase between the chigaus and her. He uses his powers to enter her dreams and talk to her. Even though he's seventeen, he owns a school that looks after people like him and other creatures which includes vampires. Kyo takes Yuki to the school and there she discovers she's a legendary crow because of Kyo. He is very protective over Yuki because of his love for her. He is only perverted to Yuki because he loves her. Kyo uses electricity as his power

Name: Sky
Female
Crow
Personality: Kind, a little weak.
She appears in most of the story and she is one of the first friends Yuki makes in the school. She is short and has dyed blue hair with black streaks going through her hair. Sky sometimes gets caught up when Yuki is being kidnapped and normally gets hurt. She is younger Yuki and she's like a baby sister. Sky uses the air as an advantage to hurt people for example she can use the air to hurtle people to the other side of a room.

Name: Kiru
Male
Snake
Personality: Crafty, sly.
Kiru is part of another a school and he slipped into Yuki's dream. He imposed as Kyo and tried to do something to Yuki. He has short green hair that looks like bed hair. He is from the second school and has come and try and capture Yuki and bring her to his boss. He is very annoying and one feature of him that is a snake like is he has a very long tongue that he can shorten or make long.

Name: Yamato
Male
Crow
Personality: Perverted, annoying, strong.
Yamato is the second crow is that appears in this story. He is after something that has to do with Yuki. He is after her energy. Using her energy, he can become stronger. He's very intimidating and in some way, he begins to like Yuki. When gets a opportunity, he tries something perverted on Yuki but when Yamato realises that Yuki loves Kyo he begins to understand that he has no chance. (Sorry I can't describe him anymore because I'm still editing my story so I still have to think of the character's profiles)

New characters to com

Yuki's mum and dad
Taskue
Tsukasa
Kyoho
Akito

Please bear with me but I will definitely have the character profile.
Gomen nasai for the mistakes. Make any comments please. I wanna hear your opinions .
Akeru
Tamaru

[ChiefSosa300]

Its gone a lot better but i fink you havnt perfected it completely theres a few bugs lying around

1: How is Yukii the duaghter of the legendary crow if it the legendary crow was born centeries ago?

2:You didnt discribe Yamato's apearance in the character profile or isit that you want to keep him hidden untill a specific time in the story?

3:the summary is great but you confused me at the  ''She was known as the legendary crow..... A couple centuries ago, in the 21st century, the legend still lives on. Seventeen year old, Yuki, has been running for a long time away from Chigaus. Her parents disappeared when she was young. No trace of them: no clue or anything. Nowhere is safe for her. Everywhere she goes, she is encountered by chiagus. How will she get away if they're everywhere she goes? You'll find out soon.''

 You said she was known as the legendary crow and then you said  a couple centuries ago? in the 21st century ? was this dating back before the apearance of her unlocking her powers and before the war when she was younger? also what confuses me it says the legend lives on? is she still alive ? if its her duaghter how could the legend live on ? she must obviously have her own legend you cant really pass your legend into someones duaghter unless she done something to fulfill some sort of prophecy

[Hinata Tokumi]

Let me answer your questions.

1. The legendary crow is Yuki's ancestor. Yuki's mum is a legendary crow therefore mum getting married to a guy... child birth... legend passed down to Yuki.

2. Basically, I want to keep him hidden. The first time I wrote this story, I got everyone's profiles but now it will take some time to describe since I've never done something like this before.

3. When I said the legend lives on I meant like the legendary crow's powers. (I think?)

[ChiefSosa300]

oooohh you should of wrote the legendary powers where passed down to her

[Hinata Tokumi]

Sorry I meant that. I will correct it when I write some more in the actual story.

[Hinata Tokumi]

Should I make another poll on my part 2 of my three part story

[Hinata Tokumi]

But before that tellme your full opinion on the story now?

[ChiefSosa300]

Its a good story < I SUCK AT GIVING FEEDBACK LOLZ

[Hinata Tokumi]

D?mo arigat?. Finally, I get to move on to part 2. Yay!!

[ChiefSosa300]

Finally