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Author Topic: Kingfisher  (Read 8165 times)

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Offline legomaestro

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #15 on: July 13, 2010, 01:36:22 PM »
The're attached to the gasmask nd they're covering his eyes. (Whether they're tinted or not is you're call.)

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2010, 12:16:24 AM »
Up, it's where I'm caught.

Finally read the chapters here, though it already seems as if you've moved onto the actual thing and out of development. I've gotta say that the first chapter had a strong feel of a manga story, the second chapter was a little different, but that's to be expected for a prologue type thing, though for the second chapter it seems a bit early, you probably changed that in the topic in Manga Creations, I'll find out later.

The idea is really original, though some things I've seen, how the hero in the beginning meets another with a gift or item believed to be rare or one of a kind, though those types of stories end pretty quickly or are discontinued, I believe this story will make it to the end after a long epic is told first. Where you go from the beginning is important, introducing a new character from the start was actually an interesting choice as the hero, Rex, was already experienced and knew his way around rifts and monsters, adding in a factor that changed him life completely is a good way to start this story. Adding in his experiences later on would be best, or having little bits of his memories shown in the beginning of each chapter as a short tale itself. Simply an idea I have though, I think you can handle this on your own, writing wise.

I have a pretty untrained eye so I usually correct grammar and spelling errors in my mind so my eyes ignore them and continue as if they were correct, so I can't give you much aid in that area, but I'll try to give my opinion on the story like above.

The story is good, so much to tell and so many questions, continue this, or at least let me read the other topic and I'll be sure to give you my thoughts on it then as well, I expect an exciting story.
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #17 on: July 14, 2010, 03:19:35 AM »
Wow. A lot to go through.

Well, you should know the story has changed in certain ways on the creation board. For one thing Rex has a sister, but his parents are still x.x

The idea is really original, though some things I've seen, how the hero in the beginning meets [qoute]another with a gift or item believed to be rare or one of a kind, though those types of stories end pretty quickly or are discontinued, I believe this story will make it to the end after a long epic is told first.[/quote]

*sigh* when will i find the unwritten tale? Well, i hope i can bring something new to the table. I'm definately finishing it, since i'm having a heckofalot of fun. Esp. With Iceh making illustrations for me.


[qoute]I expect an exciting story.[/qoute]

*legomaestro crosses his fingers*

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2010, 04:31:43 PM »
Ahaha, seems like you may need a little practice with the quotes. :laughing11: Well I understood it anyways.

Original stories, I don't believe they exist anymore, you can come up with the most outrageous idea there is, and someone else is bound to have already done it or thought of it. THe only thing you can do is take any idea you think of and create your own characters, situations, and just make a story that may be similar in idea, but the feel will be completely different.

Sorry I didn't get to read the one on the Manga Creations board yet, had to sleep earlier to work, oddly enough I actually woke up later than usual...so...don't exactly know what to do at home right now. :confused:
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2010, 05:16:25 PM »
oops. quote blunder...

No probs on not reading it. I'm still posting the chapters, so if you wanna review in one go you could wait... (fingers crossed on me finishing the project.)

Free time, huh? Well, who knows what to do with it nowadays. I'll leave that problem to you. Howz Arcane going, anyway?

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #20 on: July 14, 2010, 05:28:02 PM »
Okay, I just read to the latest chapter of the topic in the Manga Creations topic, just have to read that last chapter you posted a short while ago. So far I'll say it's got me sucked in with interest, I'll leave that for my comment in the said topic though.

My reviews aren't all that great, I've always been forgetful, bad at looking deep into things and seeing the meaning, so the most I can give is my own thoughts on it, sorry.

Arcane? I opened a blank document just a little while ago to start chapter three, all I have is the chapter heading, so not too great at the moment. :tongue: Just winging it as usual, now off to finish reading.
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #21 on: July 14, 2010, 06:00:39 PM »
Haha. Chapter heading is something. Good luck with that. Now i head off to you're review.

And i don't really need deep reviews scrutinizing every aspect of the story. I think it'd fall apart at stanza one if you did that...   :laughing11:

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #22 on: July 14, 2010, 06:07:46 PM »
Hah, well I hope to get somewhere, after being sidetracked with manga.

Well I'm just saying that until I see a full story, or at least a deeper part of it, it's hard to review anything for me, bit by bit is difficult, but if I get to see a large event, it's different.
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #23 on: July 14, 2010, 06:10:57 PM »
Yeah, that makes sense. Feel free to wait until Monday/Tuesday, I'm going at this Light Novel a chapter a day so according to my calculations (as mentioned in the Creations board) i'll be completely done by those two days.

Then hopefully the illustrations will be in, and voila! Light Novel ready to be read through without much hassle :)

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #24 on: July 14, 2010, 06:24:16 PM »
Well let's hope for that much, then I can see the story as more of a whole rather than parts. And even light novels have art, though it's usually like 3-5 pictures per volume, minus the cover and first color page behind it.
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #25 on: July 14, 2010, 06:32:32 PM »
Well, the 20000 word rule is flexible for pro writers. I've seen 300 page light novels somwhere (or maybe the format was small?)

Nyway, yes, the art is essential to make it manga-literature.

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #26 on: July 14, 2010, 06:34:23 PM »
300 pages...that just seem like overdoing it for a light novel, it completely destroys the 'light' part. :confused:
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #27 on: July 14, 2010, 06:44:16 PM »
Exactly, but maybe it was a tiny book format? Something like the size of one Kakashi likes reading, with really spaced paragraphs. XD That would surely encourage people to read.

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #28 on: July 14, 2010, 06:46:11 PM »
Ahaha, sometimes I wonder about Kakashi and whether he's actually perverted or not... I'd definitely read it anyways, but 300...gotta find it. Maybe one day you can write something that big. :laughing11:
Arcane Judgement - Chapter 5 END (Now being reworked):
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php?topic=2972.0

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Re: Kingfisher
« Reply #29 on: July 14, 2010, 06:48:40 PM »
Biggest i've done is 140, and that was sweat, and a heckofalot of cramps.

 300? Some day... some day...