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Author Topic: Red Tea  (Read 2642 times)

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Offline RedTea

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Red Tea
« on: November 19, 2012, 12:55:35 AM »
Chapter 1 [Unfinished]

1. Read Right to Left, Top to Bottom. Follow the circles in the dialogue bubbles.































« Last Edit: November 21, 2012, 01:29:20 PM by RedTea »

Offline Ryan

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2012, 01:47:12 AM »
This is great. You've gotten yourself a pretty skilled artist here  ;D. Story is interesting as well, can't wait to see more.

Offline Monsterful

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2012, 02:01:25 AM »
Is this manga originally written in Japanese? Just asking because of the Sound effects.

Offline RedTea

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2012, 02:02:58 AM »
Nope. In English.

Offline Jack Melancholy

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2012, 02:16:35 AM »
JEEZUS! How did it take me so long to find this? This is awesome!

Offline RedTea

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2012, 05:34:44 PM »
Thanks for the comments. However, I am wondering, if the first 15 pages have a smooth enough story? Is it interesting enough to keep your attention so far? Are the characters relatable? In other words, does the story stand on its own legs?

Offline Monsterful

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2012, 05:44:13 PM »
Well, I'd love to give you some real critique, so let me try:

-There are major anatomy flaws, specially with eye placement and hands.
One good trick to point them out is to mirror the page, and you'll see how odd they are.

-Using Japanese characters for sound effects when the manga is originally written in English makes no sense.
I know this is your decision, but I'd strongly suggest you to use English characters for sound effects as well.

-If you're targeting western audiences, you should be using the western reading format of left to right (unless you plan to publish the manga to an eastern audience).

-I can't really comment on the characters personalities since it's too short for me to do that, but their designs are nice.

Offline RedTea

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2012, 06:17:46 PM »
Okay. Thank you alot =). Very helpful critique.

This manga will be translated to Japanese in the future, that is why it is Right -> Left and the SFX are in Japanese. Also, I find Japanese SFX to be more attractive and malleable than their western counterparts.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2012, 06:22:16 PM by RedTea »

Offline Monsterful

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #8 on: November 19, 2012, 07:24:56 PM »
I understand your decision, though it really breaks the design pattern.

Also you can have my word as a professional designer that Western letters are very attractive and malleable just like their eastern counter-parts (both asian and arabic).
It is your choice to use the Japanese SFX because you like it more, so I won't bug you there any further.

A good tip: Have your Illustrator reflect the drawings while he's sketching, he'll find errors faster.

I also noticed many perspective/scaling issues, but your artist will get that right with due practice.

Best of luck.

Offline NationKay

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2012, 07:46:05 PM »
Omg this is extremely amazing. Consistently beautiful artwork, and the story is enough to keep me reading thus far. Really nice work, keep it up.

P.S. The title is interesting too :3 
It isn't about how you play the game.
It is about how you allow the game to play you.

[Kisses] #LaloApproved

Offline stickmanex

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2012, 09:44:25 PM »
wow. wow. this is awesome, really.
...

Offline Suuper-san

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2012, 05:19:47 PM »
i generally tell by the speed i read a manga how good it is (the more interesting etc the faster i read, the less interesting, the more i look at the art and dont care about story)
i plowed through that, but there wasnt much happening, i mean it hasnt gone anywhere yet, the action shots and the panel layout was quite good.
good start overall, cant wait to see more!
Art: Manga / Fanart / Requests (closed) / Other | Manga Stories: Overdrive / Endlessness
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Offline Chelleka

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2013, 11:00:59 PM »
Was a bit surprised to come across an artist who uses hiragana/katakana for SFX, it's pretty rare. Back when I started, I practiced drawing all my SFX using Japanese characters because like you I found it to be far more appealing than it's western counterpart.

That was of course before I realized that what appealed to me most was the unique style in which it was drawn out, something you can easily mimic with our western characters and it looks just as attractive.

Anyway, just keep your audience in mind. Something as little as SFX could be a potential turn-off for some readers.

:)

Offline h_musick

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Re: Red Tea
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2013, 11:52:34 PM »
hey there chelleka! why dont you make yourself a topic in the welcome center...
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,8367.0.html

"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything."
- Gustave Flaubert