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Author Topic: Mangaraiders Manga  (Read 9863 times)

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Offline Coryn

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Mangaraiders Manga
« on: September 03, 2009, 12:31:35 PM »
This is where i will be posting the chapters for the MRM. It will also be the place for discussing the written material. And ONLY the written material. All other story discussion should take place in the MRM topic in develop your story. I have just finished writing up chapter one. I didn't use any fancy words or anything. There wasnt much need for that. I just did enough so the artist would be able to draw what needs drawn. Enjoy and please give feedback. Even if you aren't on the project the feedback will be appreciated!

MANGARAIDERS MANGA CHAPTER 1

   It is a bright night. There is a large full moon illuminating a large meadow on the edge of a forest. Suddenly someone appears out of nothing high up in the air and in front of the moon. You can tell she is female but you can’t see her face because of the moon’s light behind her. Scene moves to a close up of a sword and a large gun clashing together causing sparks. Next shot is farther back and you can see that it is Coryn attacking Zero with one sword and Zero blocking with his revolver. The two jump backwards and each land in front of a small group of people. Zero lands in front of Ghandi and Flojisa. While Coryn lands in front of Jack and Lass. Scene focuses on Coryn, Jack and Lass. Coryn makes a remark along the lines of why did this have to happen. Jack and Lass are happy to explain. As Jack and Lass takes turns pointing out one thing that Coryn did wrong to get them in this position. Coryn’s head gets lower and lower, he begins to hunch over, and with each remark the area around his eyes gets darker and darker. Coryn jerkedly turns his head around and says something about that being a rhetorical question. Zero yells out at Coryn. Coryn straightens up and faces Zero. Zero charges at Coryn. *short fight scene*. Coryn and Zero end up splitting apart again. This time they don’t jump away back to the others instead they along with the others form a sort of diamond position. Coryn now has both of his swords out. (one in each hand)  Zero tells Coryn to unleash his powers because he knows Coryn is stronger than what he is showing. Talking about how Coryn was different the first time he had met him. Coryn replies that he can’t. Zero gets mad and unleashes a stronger form. (zero can explain in greater detail) Zero orders Coryn to unleash his powers and begins to charge at Coryn. Bright white energy surrounds Coryn in a spiral. It dissipates in a bright flash and when it is gone Coryn has a white glow covering his body. Coryn once again states that he can’t unleash more power. Zero has stopped between the two groups of onlookers and just stares at Coryn. Scene moves back to woman in front of moon. Goes to close up of side of her face. You can only see her from the tip of her nose down. She smiles and lets out a little chuckle before disappearing. Lass and Flojisa both look up (respectively) to the spot where she was, as if they heard the chuckle. Flojisa only has to look up a little while Lass has to turn her head around. Flojisa looks back down at the battle while Lass continues to look at the spot in the sky. She has a slightly confused look on her face. Jack notices her and ask if something’s wrong. She shakes her head and looks back at the battle. Zero is still looking at Coryn. Coryn is still surrounded by a white glow. Zero builds up his energy and charges at Coryn. Coryn brings both his swords back so he can attack. There is a flash of light and chapter ends.

Please know that this is only chapter one. there is plenty more story to be told so dont be concerned if one of your characters didnt get any screen time or anything.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

dawood

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2009, 02:18:00 PM »

Just to clear a few things up with the story... just incase anyone who read this chapter didn't see who it linked up.... coryn sent me this


i understand where you going but dont worry i'll explain.

You see when i write a story i never do the back story first. I like to start at the beginning of the actual plot thats going to take place. and explain the story in little bits as the plot goes on. so the they whys will be explained in the next three chapters or so in bits of dialogue. but ill fill you in now. All these characters are together cause King Noch had previously made a play for control of earth. The good characters banded together at this point to stop him. After this was taking place Zero took on a sort of leader role. the others let this happen cause they felt Noch was more of a threat. after it was all said and done though Zero wanted to still be in control. Coryn basically said no. This led to a split in the ranks. those who wanted to follow Zero, and those who didnt want to follow Zero. as for ghandi i know you have described him as a wanderer. He doesnt want to be a part of the feud so he just "sides" with Zero so the sides would be equal. (i kinda see him like bookman from D.Grayman. if you ever have read or watched that) he just kinda wants to see what happens. But for now he just plans on sitting back and watching. he wont start taking an active role in the plot until it is revealed that Noch is after the diamonds.

       All of the characters are in the meadow cause that particular area isnt too far from the good guys base in their previous battle with Noch. so its a convenient place to hold a battle. I also plan to have other scenes happen there later in the story.

      On to Coryn. Now in Coryn's back story he fights in a first contact war (aka- a war that comes with first contact with aliens) this war leads to Coryn getting his powers. After the war Coryn mask the fact that he wont grow old by making himself appear to age and eventually die of old age. It is at this point that he starts traveling the universe and going from dimension to dimension. Coryn however at this point is a sort of gruff war veteran. so hes not the nicest guy or anything. His bottled up anger from the war makes him do somethings he regrets. But at one point he stumbles into mid-evil europe. After he makes a scene he is confronted by a mid-evil monk/mage. The monk uses his awesome mage powers to subdue Coryn. The monk uses magic to paralyze Coryn. And the monk then prepares to exorcize Coryn.. at this point Jack Frost who is following Coryn's energy trail stumbles into the same mid-evil dimension. Jack finds Coryn and attempts to free him. when he does the monk walks in and stops jack too. Coryn tries to explain that he isnt possessed. The monk says that he knows and explains what hes actually going to do is seal away Coryns aggressions. Coryn realizes that this would be for the best and allows the monk to do it. but in sealing away Coryn's aggressions the monk also ends up sealing away the lions share of Coryn's power. the idea being that power level is directly linked to aggression. While in my story Coryn is able to undo the seal at the point in Coryn's life that the MRM is taking place Coryn has just had his aggressions sealed away and is able to undo the seal. Sorry that that was such a long explanation but it wouldnt much make sense other wise.

       As for the woman in the moonlight that would be your female twin. you see when the keepers appear in the story before they reveal their true purpose they will only appear to the good guys with the male twin will look normal and the female will be wearing the guise of the old man. and  you will only see the female twin in her real form with the evil group. so until they reveal their identities the audience wont know they are one in the same.

i hope that clears your questions up. ill send you the character descriptions you wanted in a second pm.

Offline AnimeDoodler

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2009, 01:32:47 AM »
Well, as the artist, I must thank you for easy drawing location XD. Also, it seems that coryn gettingi a little too mich screen time, but that'll be resolved in later chapters I'm guessing ^^ other than that, I'm pretty much hooked... So e real dialoulgue wouldn't hurt but that'll co e later too I guess ^^

Offline Coryn

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2009, 10:55:27 AM »
don't worry i don't want to give Coryn extra screen time. I'm just trying to set the scene. like i said i want every character to take an equally important role. if you would like to know what i have in mind for your own specific characters feel free to pm me. that goes for everyone not just doodle.

As for dialogue. What i want to do is everyone write the dialogue for their own characters. this sounds kinda difficult i know but if we do it this way i think the characters will be much more convincing. now i plan to write in scenes where one person can write the conversation between their two characters. but of course this cant happen all the time. in this instance where the dialogue will involve 2 or more of us to collaborate to come up with the dialogue we can use msn or some other instant messaging system. and if someone doesnt have msn we can just use pm's.

and speaking of artist i know cache hasnt been on for a while but i have contacted him by email. now with any luck he'll respond.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline AnimeDoodler

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2009, 06:53:25 PM »
cool! sounds liek everything will work out fine XD

Offline Coryn

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2009, 07:56:58 PM »
God willing yes. but i need to get into the writing mood now. things to do things to do. like eating some ramen and putting my writing playlist back together.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline SaiHawkeye

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2009, 08:06:38 PM »
I'll just keep my diabolical hands which are composed of many sinister fingers out of this one. I like what you have so far, but having paragraphs sure woulda been nice. xD
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Offline Coryn

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2009, 08:18:37 PM »
OI OI! i dont have to make it look pretty. i just make it so it can be turned into drawings. besides, this is only the scene description. dont even have dialogue yet. i can make it pretty once the dialogue has been added and such. course im going to have to put some serious thought into what the actual shot is when writing.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline SaiHawkeye

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2009, 08:21:44 PM »
Draw a few layout sketches of basic shapes like circles and squares to represent the characters to get an idea of how you want it to flow. It'll jog your imagination as to how the words should be presented as well.
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Offline Coryn

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2009, 10:16:19 PM »
yeah. you see the way i write is i imagine what im writing in anime form not manga. maybe you can tell by the way i say scene instead of panel? but i can do some layout sketches. cause i have a very specific image of what some of the shots and angles will be. cause reading just the words means it could play out in the readers head much differently than the way i saw it when i wrote it. which could completely change the scene from what i envisioned it to be.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline AnimeDoodler

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2009, 10:19:41 PM »
hmmm, that might actually help a lot...give it a try coryn, see what you can come up with ^^

Offline Coryn

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2009, 10:21:16 PM »
ill do some work on it tomorrow. right after or sometime before my english homework. cause im too lazy to climb down from my bed at the moment.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline AnimeDoodler

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2009, 10:28:44 PM »
lol, take your time ^^

Offline Coryn

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2009, 10:34:03 PM »
Ill have something up by tomorrow night for sure. cant vouch for image quality though. maybe though... one of the libraries has a scanner. i dont know if it will cost to use it like it does to print but i might be able to scan some pics onto my flash drive. we'll see tomorrow i guess.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline AnimeDoodler

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Re: Mangaraiders Manga
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2009, 10:36:14 PM »
cool! again, take your time ^^