Sun and Moon Chapter 1 Summary

[nicoledrawsanime]

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting about my current project's story. I have a bad case of writer's block but I'm still working as hard as I can to develop this story. Anyway I wanted to show a basic summary of the first chapter of my upcoming manga, Sun and Moon (It's a working title). First I'll explain the whole story, then give a break down of the first chapter. Let me know what you think; ideas, suggestions, and critiques are welcome. Be sure to keep in mind that this is just a summary, so not every detail is going to be written.

Plot

Spoiler

The Land of Fera, is a world run by Ari, a mysterious source of energy that gives people special powers. People who can control Ari are called Users. In a world like this anything can happen. The knights are a group of Users who use their powers to protect the world. One day a whole town falls victim to a strange new illness that's very fatal, but no one knows where it came from or how to cure it. The town is under quarantine, but it seems nobody is doing anything to help them, not even the knights. Marisol and Luna, two young girls who just became friends, each have a parent who catch the disease. When they believe they found a clue to the source of the disease nobody listens to them so in order to save their parents they take matters into their own hands. There's just one thing, they are just ordinary girls.

Chapter 1: Meeting and Failure 

Spoiler

Marisol Sanza is an ordinary middle school girl who is just having another day of school. Luna Paige, is the new student who joins her class. She is very shy and timid making her an easy target for bullies. After seeing her get picked on Marisol steps in and stands up for her, and ever since Marisol and Luna became friends.

Meanwhile, at the knight's HQ a low ranking knight, Astraea Frey, is trying to convince her superiors they need to capture a pair of criminals who are causing mayhem in their country. But they deny her saying they are just ordinary people and knights only deal with Users so the police should handle it.

However, determined that these criminals need to be stopped, Astraea goes searching for them all on her own. She eventually finds and is ready to capture them. But it turns out that they appear to be able to use Ari. Astraea battles them with all her might but she fails to capture, and they end up doing something to her in order to keep her quiet.

Then as two seasons pass the near by town has been under quarantine for a new deadly illness.

[suuper-san]

sounds like a decent idea. there's a definite objective of the protagonists with a sense of urgency considering it's a disease, so the story will be gripping hopefully.

What sort of magic/force is Ari? (I'm reminded of the Japanese phrase "Nandemo ari", meaning "Anything goes", but in this case, it means "Everything's magic" XD)
I think it's great that the main character's can't use magic, because it makes their challenges more interesting than just a power fight all the time.

Also, what era is this? you mention Knights which implies medieval, but also police and schools which imply modern-ish.

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your first chapter, you might find it hard to fit it all in unless your storytelling pace is really fast, which might make it hard to follow. Each of those four paragraphs sounds like it could be at least a chapter in it's own right.

they end up doing something to her in order to keep her quiet.

Do you actually know what they do yet, like a threat or magic or something?

[nicoledrawsanime]

sounds like a decent idea. there's a definite objective of the protagonists with a sense of urgency considering it's a disease, so the story will be gripping hopefully.

What sort of magic/force is Ari? (I'm reminded of the Japanese phrase "Nandemo ari", meaning "Anything goes", but in this case, it means "Everything's magic" XD)
I think it's great that the main character's can't use magic, because it makes their challenges more interesting than just a power fight all the time.

Also, what era is this? you mention Knights which implies medieval, but also police and schools which imply modern-ish.

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your first chapter, you might find it hard to fit it all in unless your storytelling pace is really fast, which might make it hard to follow. Each of those four paragraphs sounds like it could be at least a chapter in it's own right.

they end up doing something to her in order to keep her quiet.

Do you actually know what they do yet, like a threat or magic or something?

Ari is a term I just came up with to call the magic of this world, never knew that it meant that. XD


I was actually hoping for this story to be my own spin on the magical girl anime/manga so the girls do get "powers" in a way, just not in a way that you'd think, they basically use certain magical tools to help them but they'll be incredibly weak tools. But what you just mentioned is in fact an idea that I have for a different story.

The era is modern, Knights is the name I just chose for the Users who protect the world profession.

I do know what they do to Astraea, you'll find out when the story is done.