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Author Topic: 12 Starlit Gems  (Read 277 times)

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Offline Kagayaki-hime

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12 Starlit Gems
« on: March 23, 2019, 07:46:25 PM »
This post is going to be very long, because this is an idea that I’ve had for a long time, and it’s gone through several modifications. I’m going to go back and edit this post frequently. Feel free to ask questions, or post suggestions. I just wanted to know if it was too similar to Sailor Moon or other magical girl series.


Synopsis:

A 14-year old Gemini girl named Misty Tash, nicknamed “Trash Bag” by her classmates always wanted to be someone better than herself—someone prettier, thinner, more athletic, outgoing, and fair skinned. One day, she finds out several new things about her life. First of all, her name isn’t even Misty Tash, it’s Claira Stelling. But more importantly, she can transform and gain elemental powers based on her Sun signs attribute. In her case, the stars. She becomes a gorgeous blonde Birthnkight named Estrella Alexandrite. Life seems like it would be much better...but then it becomes so much worse. The Birthknights have a reputation for destroying property and the environment, and a lack of teamwork. Now that her inner thoughts are blurted out without reservation, she finds it difficult to get along with her fellow Birthknights. And she discovers that people everywhere are dying because they stand out in society. But only she and the other Birthknights know who is really killing them.



The Orgin of the Birthknights: In ancient times, a genderless divine being called Celestis visited a man stranded in a desert. He was exiled from being different. Celestis rescued the man and brought him to a different civilization. The first Birthknight was created.

I did some research on birthstones, and I found something about the Breastplate of Aaron, which is one of my inspirations. The Stones on the Breastplate will shine brighter the more the Birthknight exhibits that quality both in and outside of transformation. But when a Birthknight dies, the gem turns black and dull, like charcoal.

Naming: The given names of human identities of the Birthknights are the quality of their personalities, and their last names are named after their elements. Earth names are the easiest, and the most plentiful. Water names are usually bodies of water, or fish, or even blood. Air names are usually after birds, since air names are not very common. The hardest and least common names to find are fire names, so I usually go with last names that mean sun, lighting, or warmth.

Superpowers: The powers will be in the same element family as the Birthknight’s Sun Sign. If a Birthknight practices the attribute his or her birthstone that they need to show the most, then their powers will be amplified and their corresponding birthstone on the Gem Plate will shine. If all 12 birthstones shine consistently at the same time, they could summon a great power.




Main Protagonist:
Misty Tash, aka. Claira Stelling (“Shrouded in mist” and “Ash tree”, and then “Clear” and “Star”. Basically, the name she has been given is the wrong element.) Birthday: 06/06/2006. She was adopted as a baby and given the name Misty. The only information that was left behind was a piece of paper with her birthday on it. She lives with an overbearing father, whose word is law, so she’s afraid to express herself and develop her own personality. Her father has several affairs with shallow women, so she has no strong female role models as a mother. The only relative she really got along with was her sister, 10 years older than her. But her sister committed suicide. But when 6-year-old Claira found the body, she discovered that it was sparkling. What she didn’t know at the time was that her sister was a Birthknight turning into stardust.

Side characters:

Aria Nespola (“First song of the opera”, “Tree”) Birthday: 05/08/1998. One of the few survivors of the last Birthknight team. She is a vegetarian, and animal lover, and an Eclectic Wiccan. She was opposed to Claira changing herself so much, and she worries about her, almost like another sister. She is currently living with her father, even though she has a teaching job. She was a very early bloomer in her childhood, and tallest in her family, even though she is the youngest, and she is uncomfortable about the attention she gets. That is why she asked to be young forever during transformation.

Alfred Petroski: (“Gentle”, “Stone”) Birthday: 09/14/1999 Is just an intern, but he possesses a great knowledge about psychology and first aid. But for the time being, he isn’t allowed to use it in front of his superiors. He’s criticized for being the brother of the principal. He is trying to overcome all of his own psychological difficulties. His other skill is cooking, and although he wasn’t allowed to pursue it as a career, he is still very talented. He is short and feminine, and he used want nothing more than to be strong and tall like his older brother. He has a lifelong crush on Aria.

Herman Petroski: Birthday: 01/10/1996 He has always been a genius since childhood. Because of that, he had great expectations on his shoulders. He stopped believing in Santa at 5, entered high school at 12, and graduated from high school at 16. He lost a leg as a boy, and although he is the physically strongest of the Birthknights, wished to get it back. He is sarcastic and cold, but he harbors a lot of secrets, especially about his sexuality. He will be represented by Garnet. His powers are very strength based, as in, he can lift more heavy objects and destroy even sturdy foundations rather than conjure up an element.

Ekaterina Cejkowski: Birthday: 10/09/2005 She is seemingly perfect. She’s on the cheerleading team, she gets straight A’s, and she’s a social butterfly. In reality, she’s done nothing but obey all her life—the rules of school, the censored and biased textbooks, and the rules of social life. She’s very dismissive and critical towards Claira, even though Claira believes that they are friends. She’s very apathetic towards people she doesn’t like. I’m giving her pink tourmaline as her representative birthstone because there is already a white color, and opal is hard for me to illustrate. There’s so many other colors, but without pink, it wouldn’t be complete.

Joelle Quaine 07/09/2006 She’s very short and child-like. Her hobbies and sports are very feminine—sewing and gymnastics. She will show her emotions at any moment, but not care about who she’s disturbing. She likes to cling to best friends and her step-sister. Her image color will be red, just like a ruby.

Valerie Hawke (Actually, her last name was Crane, but I’m undecided.) 02/11/2008 She’s a sharp tongued 7th grader who’s into debating, karate, and skateboarding. She’s the tallest in her grade, and usually mistaken for an older boy. Not that she totally minds, because she hates girly things with a passion—so much that she’s overzealous about it. Maybe I was thinking about slowly turning her into a FTM—maybe the phobia of feminine things kind of reflects that. But she still needs to learn to let other people have their choices too. She has a fierce rivalry with Tom Binley because she has a stubborn sense of justice. She actually likes to be different, but just because she flaunts her uniqueness doesn’t mean she’s not insecure. She hates being mollycoddled and clung to by her stepsister.




Love interests (Just because they are in the love interest category, doesn’t mean that they will become a canon couple with the main character):

Eric Binley - 04/06/2005

Devin Mizushima - 03/08/2007

Delilah Van Vuuren - 12/03/2004


Antiheroes:

Mary Elizabeth “Mari” Bloodborne - 11/08/2005

Tom Binley (may change his name) - 08/07/04




Antagonists:

The Servants of Oblivion - Like a Birthknight, a person can only be an Antiknight by birth. However, they were created in response to some Birthknights being corrupted in the ancient past. Their ultimate goal is to make humans all the same. They use elemental powers to kill from individuals to even thousands of humans at once. When a human is killed by a Servant of Oblivion, they turn into a perfectly obedient droid...with the same power as the one who killed them. Droids can’t be killed by ordinary humans or animals, or accidents. But if the droid dies either by a Servant or a Birthknight, then the original person who was turned into a droid is forgotten forever.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2019, 04:14:08 PM by Kagayaki-hime »

Offline Rustee

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Re: 12 Gems
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2019, 02:25:21 PM »
I really like this!  I can't wait to read more! Does this take place while she is attending school?  And how did she find out she is a Birthnknight and that there are others, or is it known? :)
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. – Confucius

Offline Kagayaki-hime

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Re: 12 Gems
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2019, 04:59:47 AM »
I really like this!  I can't wait to read more! Does this take place while she is attending school?  And how did she find out she is a Birthnknight and that there are others, or is it known? :)
It will be revealed in the story. She will be a student during most the story, but it will branch out into something bigger.

With that said, I will discuss the school and hometown.

The city of Giselle: A Midwestern American city. It prides itself on the diversity of its citizens. However, the city is divided into two major sections—upper and lower. The wealthier districts are in the upper side of town, and the less fortunate are in the lower side of town.

Giselle Residential Public Academy (GPRA): An intergrated school for grades 7-8, and freshman to senior in high school. It’s slogan is the “School of Opportunity” because it’s supposed to accommodate for students of all ethnic and financial backgrounds, and help with students whose parents work long hours. However, the school is running low on funds. There have been complaints that the rules are too strict, teachers aren’t being paid enough, the principal and superintendent are overpaid, and that elective classes have been cancelled. Junior high students wear red uniforms, and high school students wear blue uniforms. Bullying has been identified, but not much has been done about it. Because of the economic division of the city, naturally, are several cliques throughout the student body. Little do the students know, that the school was founded just for the purpose of finding and observing the Birthknights. The principal, Herman Petroski does have something to do with it, but he has to keep it secret, even from his teammates. Some of the antagonists go to this school as well, but they operate in secret.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2019, 04:21:30 AM by Kagayaki-hime »

Offline Kagayaki-hime

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Re: 12 Gems
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2019, 01:58:13 PM »
Is double posting allowed? I looked everywhere in the forums, but I couldn’t find any posts about it.

Anyway, this post is reserved for explanations about elemental superpowers.

The Golden Birthday Rule: A tragic event has happened within the year of a Birthknight’s Golden Birthday.

The Sun Signs and their elements:
Fire - Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Air - Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
Water - Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
Earth - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Fire Signs get fire, lightning, or light.
Air Signs get stars or some kind of wind power. Maybe clean air or smoke.
Water signs get clean water, blood, or poison
Earth signs get plants, metal, or crystals

Offline Kagayaki-hime

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Re: 12 Starlit Gems
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2019, 04:34:07 PM »
This post is reserved for the actual script.


Episode 1: The First Wish
Spoiler
(Chapter length: About 25-40 pages)
Claira Stelling is going to be called Misty Tash by people who are not birthknights, and in front of people who are not birthknights.)

-A girl is sleeping in her room.
-There is a ghost like person watching her in the middle of the night.
-It’s not known whether the person is male or female.
-

-She wakes up.
-Her name is Misty Tash, 14, and it’s the day of her high school orientation, in the last week of August.
-Misty is thinking about the dream she had.
-Misty looks at her closet.
-She gets a traumatic flashback every time she looks at the closest.
-Her sister committed suicide 8 years ago.
-Misty is called by her father.
-She is yelled at to hurry up.

-They get in the car.
-Mr. Tash complains about how he can’t have a happy family because of all his children.
-The radio is turned on.
-There is news of a “flashy superhero sighting”.
-Misty thinks to herself that they might be good people.
-There’s another report on sudden, extreme weather conditions.
-There was snow, even though it’s August.

-Her high school is Giselle Public Residential Academy (GPRA).
-Misty meets her first roommate, Ekaterina Cejkowski.
-Ekaterina is only half-happy to see her.
-Ekaterina goes to talk with the more outgoing girls.

-Misty goes to the library.
-On her way, a group of boys bully her.
-A blind boy rescues her.
-Misty’s friend, Regina comforts her.
-The same blind boy goes to Regina.
-Misty feels sad that the boy and Regina are dating.

-After dorm curfew.
-Something bad happens when the students are in their dorms.
-There is snow indoors.
-A small group of heroes come.

-The first day of school.
-Misty meets her new headmaster, Mr. Petroski.
-Mr. Petroski is only 24 years old.
-Misty was expecting Mrs. Chu to be the principal.
-He explains the situation.



-Misty meets her music teacher, Miss N (Aria Nespola).
-After class, Miss N stops Misty from leaving.
-Miss N tells Misty to do something she usually doesn’t do.
-Misty is confused.


-Misty confesses her love to Eric.


-Misty’s hands suddenly feel pain.


-Misty runs back to her dorm.
-Ekaterina isn’t there yet.

-Misty discovers her name is really Claira Stelling.
-Misty learns that her adoptive sister was a birthknight.
-Misty is told that she is a birthknight.
-Aria, Herman, and Alfred all transform.
-They were the same heroes from the other day.
-Claira is surprised to see Aria transformed into a little girl.
-The reason why Aria is a little girl is because she wanted to be forever young.
-A birthknight can make up to three wishes before their first transformation.
-Claira wishes to be taller and thinner, and athletic, and pale skinned.
-Claira transforms into Estrella Alexandrite for the first time.
-Estrella Alexandrite has a radically different personality than Claira.

Help with script writing and constructive criticism is much appreciated...as long as it’s not snarky.

Offline Rustee

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Re: 12 Starlit Gems
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2019, 07:01:28 PM »
I think you have a good rough draft, you just need to get into some details to those, like why, when, where, time ect.  Like what was bad that happened in the dorms and why was there snow inside?  And the news on the radio about the flashy super heroes, what did they do to be on the news.  And, the head master/ principle, what was explained.  One more thing too, our the birthknights known.  I can't wait to see more.  Hope this this helps a little.
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. – Confucius