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Author Topic: Dragon Universe [Reworked]  (Read 202 times)

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Offline PichuDX

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Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« on: March 11, 2019, 11:30:34 PM »
[Volume 1 Post and Introduction]

(Quick Note: In case you haven't seen on the old thread, we have decided to do a mini hard reset on the series.  We all agreed that the pacing was off, and the development could be much better, so instead of digging ourselves into a hole, we have completely redone all of the chapters! *Dear god have mercy on my fingers, they have worked so hard*  If you have seen the old scripts, please give these new ones a read! The characters are the same, but I think you'll enjoy this new reworked story!)
- Nathan L.

*Old Intro*
Hey everyone! My names Nathan L. and I'm the author behind Dragon Universe, my current manga project. My team of artists and I have been working diligently for the past few years to start this series up, so hopefully you all enjoy it!

A few notes you should keep in mind before you read:

1. The scripts posted here are bit unprofessional, and I realize that. They are written both like a script and with notes all over. I was going to clean it up, but I figured I'd keep it as is. I've found that using this format helps the artists understand more about how to draw the pages, so I thought I'd show you all the full process of how we get that done to help out any future mangaka, if that makes any sense :P. (as a side note, I have removed anything that might spoil later plot points, but besides that most of my work is there. By spoil, I mean anything the reader is not intended to know about while reading the finished product, none of the story was altered, just side notes.)

2. We have tons of artwork and pages done for the manga [ THOSE PAGES ARE NOW OLD AND NON CANON :D], If your interested in our work, and are curious what our characters look and interact like, please feel free to look us up on Facebook:
Please note that most of our pages are not there, we are waiting until we officially release the manga to show off our hard work to the public! That being said, all of our character designs and concept art is there, which there are a ton of.

3. All comments and criticism is greatly appreciated. there's no point in writing this story if no one enjoys it! We want to make this a great experience, so any feedback you have, please leave so we can review it. Thanks in advance!

Chapter 1


Chapter 1 “DREAM” Start

(The chapter opens on a little girl sitting in a field of flowers. The art style resembles that of a little kid coloring with crayons. The little girl is resembling a younger Yuki. Yuki is looking around the field, picking up flowers as she goes. After a few panels of her picking flowers, a grey fog starts to creep up from behind her. Once it moves past her face, she slowly turns around. As she's turning around I believe three small panels in a row with an intensifying light will work, as her expression changes to show disbelief. Once she's fully turned around, a whole page should be dedicated to her standing, facing a mansion that is up in horrifying flames. Yuki should seem small compared to the mansion and flames. The next panel should show the flames in her eyes, and with a close up of her eyes reveal a figure standing in the flames. The view should flip to her perspective, slowly zooming into a sinister looking figure (Make sure he has distorted looking, spiky hair. He should also have something resembling a chain coming from his pocket attaching to his waist) facing sideways, his hand facing upwards and out stretched. Once he is in close enough view, show him turning his head only towards Yuki, pulling his hand a bit closer to himself. Then, he smiles wickedly with two, distinctive red eyes shining directly at the reader and Yuki, clenching his hand into a fist, flames bursting out from inside the fist. His head should also be slightly tilted.)

Chapter 1 “DREAM” End

Real Chapter 1 “Rewrite” Start

(The chapter opens up on Yuki slowly opening her good eye [Her bad one isn’t shown until she's putting on her eyepatch, and when it's shown it's closed.] She rubs her bad eye with her arm, still lying down. She seems to have woken up in a cold sweat, and her breathing is off. Eventually, she pulls herself out of her disheveled bed, and makes her way over to her mirror, the reflection showing herself with a long White T shirt and black shorts on. She sighs, and speaks to herself as she puts her eye patch on.)

(She then goes about her daily routine. The next few scenes show her brushing her teeth, brushing her messy hair, making a coffee in a huge kitchen, and sitting down, sipping the coffee. As this goes on, it should become clear that she happens to be the only one in the mansion, show long, empty halls as she walks by, and empty rooms, with her sticking out. By the next time we see her, she switched out her shorts for casual, comfy jogging pants. She drags herself to the front door of her mansion.)

Yuki: (Guess I should pass the time.)

(She stretches, and walks out to her front yard.)

Yuki: It’s a bit early, but I guess I could get some practice in.

(Yuki arrives to her front yard, which is neatly kept, and walks over to a few logs by the path, a good few feet from the house as to not damage it.)

Yuki: Alright, lets see here…
(Yuki picks up a wooden training sword, which seems worn, and starts to swing it around a bit to warm up.)

Yuki: Yesterday I was able to snap one of these in five swings, so I guess I should go for four.

(Yuki takes her free hand, and picks up a log. She then whips it into the air, and patiently waits for it to fall. Right before it hits the ground, as it passes by Yuki’s face, she swings at the log with her wooden sword. The collision makes a loud thud, and the log flies forward a bit, scraping against the ground. A huge dent can be seen in the log, about ? of the way in.)

Yuki: Alright, lets try again.

(Yuki walks over to pick it up, and it is assumed she continues to train. The scene switches to deeper into the woods surrounding her mansion, and a shot of a few people in cloaks walking down a path can be seen. There are four in total, one of which is Hitachi, which is evident by his sword tied to his back. One of the thugs (Thug 3), is noticeable much older, the others seem to be young adults and in Hitachi’s case, a teenager. The four people all have their hoods up, and are walking in a pack. Eventually, the sound of Yuki smacking the logs can be heard by the group.)

[Note to artist: Feel free to design the other three thugs in any manner you wish.]

Thug 1: Did ya guys hear that?

Thug 2: Yeah. Maybe someones come to deliver us some damn food.

(The three laugh, while Hitachi keeps to himself.)

Thug 1: Let’s check it out.

(Thug 1 takes out a small pocket knife, and from his palm a streak of poison is created, wrapping around the blade. The title card for Talents and names appears, and lists this man’s talent as “Talent: Poison Produce”. The other three follow him and they stop right before moving into the clearing of Yuki’s mansion. They see Yuki training, and they seem dumbfounded.)

Thug 2: Whoa. I didn’t know something like this existed way out here.

Thug 3: It’s an odd place to call home… though I think we can work it out.

(The three thugs eye each other with vicious intend.)

(Hitachi is eyeing Yuki, who is now sitting on one of the logs and taking a break.)

Thug 2: Well, looks like we found our place to laylow. Bout time, Huh?

Thug 1: Yeah, I’m getting pumped up just thinking about it!

(Hitachi looks worryingly at the ground.)

Hitachi: What do we do about the girl?

(Thug 3 pushes Hitachi back, with enough force to knock him on his ass.)

Thug 3: You can’t hesitate in this kinda world, kid. This here is a golden chance to finally settle down, and your gonna blow it because you don’t want to hurt some girl?

(Hitachi slouches down, in embarrassment, as the three exit the woods and walk towards Yuki, menacingly. Yuki hears a noise behind her, and before she can turn around, the knife from early is pinned against her throat, she is in a choke hold with Thug 1.)

Thug 1: Don’t ya dare scream, kid. Wouldn’t want to hurt ya!

(The other two thugs laugh, and walk towards the house, as Yuki is mortified. As they walk towards the house, Yuki bites Thug 1’s hand, and runs over to her wooden sword and points it towards them.)

Yuki: W-what do you people want!? Leave me alone!

Thug 1: You little-

(Thug 1 rushes towards Yuki, and slashes at her. Yuki stumbles a bit as she moves out of the way, and she is pushed down to the ground by Thug 2, whose Talent is revealed to be a sort of clay. The Talent panel reads “Talent: Clay Produce”. She is then stuck to the ground, unable to move.)

Yuki: No- Let me go!

Thug 1: Hehe, shoulda played nice, ya little *censored*, you woulda last much longer.

(A scene is shown from a similar path from the one earlier in the woods, a shot of Bryan, his face covered by the shadows of the trees, is shown. He is walking with some sort of device in his right hand, which is outstretched in front of him like a compass. During this scene, Bryan’s face isn’t revealed.)

Bryan: They couldn’t have gone far, these guys don’t know when to quit.

(The light on the device changes, and Bryan seems to be intrigued.)

Bryan: Hey, they aren't far at all! Alright, time to take them down! Let’s see, there are three of them… so that would be about 40 points?

(Bryan continues to walk as he stares down at his device. The scene switches to Hitachi watching from the woods, as Thugs 1 and 2 kick and mock Yuki as she’s stuck to the ground. Thug 3 is now at the front door or the mansion.)

Thug 3: Now, lets see. Hope I don’t need a damn key or anything.

(Despite the torture, Yuki turns to Thug 3 and screams helplessly.)

Yuki: You, don’t you dare touch it!

Thug 3: Sorry girl, but I think you mean it’s ours.

(Thug 3 laughs as he enters the house, and Yuki squirms around frantically, trying to break out of the clay holding her down.)

Yuki: Nooo-! You guys can’t go in there! Who even are you people?!

(Hitachi watches from the woods as the three thugs torment Yuki, and he thinks to himself silently.)

(Hitachi reaches for the sword on his back, and slowly emerges from the woods. He walks past Yuki and the thugs, and enters the house.)

Thug 1: Hey, Tachi grew some balls!

Thug 2: Bout time. Hey, looks like we got to shut this kid up. Last thing we need is-

(Suddenly, from the woods, Bryan jumps out, in a full sprint, and a dumb grin on his face.)

Bryan: Hey you! What do you think your doing?!

(The two thugs seem more irritated than intimidated.)

Thug 2: Damn, not this stupid kid again…

(Bryan is finally completely revealed, rushing out into the clearing. His face is covered in bandages, and his jacket is a bit torn. Hitachi turns around before entering the house, and he seems dumbfounded.)

Hitachi: Who… the hell is that?

(A quick flashback shows the three thugs walking away from a beaten, defeated Bryan, who is slouched against a tree. Hitachi, not fully aware of the situation, continues to walk in after Thug 3.)

Bryan: Alright, who’s ready for some payback?

(Thug 2 whips his hand outward and attempts to shoot him down with his clay, but Bryan dodges it and manages to run in close. He gets one clean punch in on the thug’s arm before he gets pushed away by the thug’s free hand.)

Thug 2: Damn brat!

Bryan: That was for yesterday, ya damn jerk!

(Yuki is at a loss for words, and then suddenly, as the Thug is hit, the clay around her softens up, and she’s able to escape. She stands up, and backs away a bit. Thug 1 turns to her, his knife dripping with poison.)

Thug 1: Oh, how cute. You didn't plan on runnin’ , did ya?

(Yuki starts to run, but the Thug follows suit. Before he can grab her, she bends down and grasps the wooden sword she dropped. She whips around, smacking the thug in the jaw with the sword, and gets into battle stance.)

Yuki: I don’t know who you guys are…but you messed with the wrong girl.

Thug 1: (Damn, this ain’t gonna be easy, then?)

(Near by, closer to the house, Bryan is dodging and weaving blasts of clay. Thug 2 is getting visibly annoyed.)

Thug 2: Stand still, god dammit! You move around like a goddamn cockroach!

(Bryan dodges one more shot, and then tucks himself in, rushing towards the thug. He lands a punch to the thug’s gut, but this causes the blast the thug was currently charging to go wild, and it flys past Bryan, smacking into one of the mansion’s walls, leaving a good chunk of it ruined. Yuki looks away from her fight for a second and seems mortified.)

Yuki: H- Hey! Stop it!

Bryan: Crap! Sorry, miss! I didn’t-

(Thug 2 punches Bryan on the side of his face, making Bryan stop speaking and stumble back.)

Thug 2: Look what ya made me do! How are we going to live here with something like that!? I’ma make you pay, kid!

Bryan: Wha-!

(Thug 2 starts to rapid fire shots towards Bryan, and a lot of stray blasts are smacking into the mansion, causing even more damage.)

Yuki: My House!

(Yuki starts to rush over, but Thug 1 blocks her path.)

Thug 1: Don’t you think you should be more concerned about your own life!

(Thug 1 thrusts towards her, but Yuki skillfully, and seemingly out of character, is able to smack the knife out of the thug’s hand with her wooden sword, and then smacks his face with the handle, knocking him down. She then proceeds to walk over to Bryan and Thug 2, furious.)

Thug 2: Damn, that chick ain’t playin’ around…
Bryan: Again, I’m so sorry about th-

(As the three interact, they are all suddenly caught off guard by Thug 3, who is then thursted out of the second story, through a window. He lands on his back, coughs in pain, and then knocks out. Hitachi is then visible from the window.)

Hitachi: Sorry… but I’m not really comfortable with taking something like this from someone.

(Hitachi looks down at the other three, and then notices the damage to the house.)

Hitachi: Whoa, what the hell?! Why would you destroy the place if you wanted to live here!?

(Thug 2 is now extremely pissed. He aims at Hitachi with his hand.)

Thug 2: Damn traitor! Get your ass down here!

(Thug 2 then proceeds to rapid fire at the second floor, causing Hitachi to stumble back into the house to dodge the onslaught, but this leads to a lot of damage to the top layer of the house.)

Yuki: You...

(Yuki stomps over to Thug 2, who is still blasting, and attempts to grab him. He then changes his aim to her, but before she gets hit, Bryan steps in the way and starts to tank the blasts.)

Bryan: Get out of here miss, this guy is too dangerous for a civilian!

(Yuki starts to back up.)

Yuki: Who even are you, kid?

(Bryan then cockilly smiles, turn to her as he takes the hits, and speaks.)

Bryan: I’m a future Dragon University Student, Bryan! Nice to meet ya!

(From the top floor, Hitachi’s sword is whipped from the top floor at thug 2, and as Thug 2 is distracted, the sword nails him in the side, knocking him out as well.)

Bryan: Aw, hey! I wanted to beat him...

(Hitachi leans out of one of the broken windows, exhausted.)

Hitachi: A “Thank You” would be nice…

(An hour or two seems to pass. The thugs are now tied up to a tree nearby, unconscious, and Hitachi, Bryan, and Yuki are discussing the recent event. Yuki is slouched down on her steps, seemingly depressed about her current situation. Hitachi has his hood down, his sword lodged into the ground near him, and is leaning against one of the pillars near Yuki’s mansion. Bryan is standing in front of Yuki and Hitachi, upset at the damage he caused.)

Bryan: I’m so sorry about that miss! I wasn’t thinking at all, man…  I’m so ashamed of myself…

Hitachi: Well, at least you were here to help out. I think we coulda managed, but the damage could have been much worse.

(Yuki is still hunched over, silently contemplating the situation, saddened by her destroyed mess of a house.)

Bryan: Well, I hope you guys get it figured out.

(Bryan changes to a happy go lucky mood, and starts to walk over to the thugs.)

Bryan: I’m just glad I finally caught these three, they’ve been running a muck for weeks now! I can’t wait to get home and show-

(Yuki suddenly gets up as he speaks, and places her hand on his shoulder, menacingly. Bryan shudders, and slowly turns his head.)

Bryan: U- Um… can I help you, miss?

Yuki: One million.

Bryan: Excuse me?

Yuki: You owe me one million in repairs.

(Bryan’s jaw drops, and the color fades from his face.)

Bryan: Wh- what?! I don’t have that kind of money!

(Yuki turns coldly to Hitachi.)

Yuki: And you. You owe half of that. Five hundred thousand.

Hitachi: … For a window?

(The two boys seem scared of Yuki, as she turns back to Bryan.)

Yuki: You said you don’t have that kind of money?

(Her grip tightens, and Bryan panics and yelps.)

Bryan: H- Hey! Calm down miss! I’ll pay you back, I promise!

Yuki: And how do you suppose you’ll do that?

Bryan: I’ll earn the money! I’ll work for it, now please let go, your hurting me!

(Yuki’s grip lessens slightly, but she's still holding on.)

Bryan: You… your still holding onto me…

Yuki: I’m not giving you the chance to run away. Both of you are going inside. Right now.

(Hitachi sighs, and the three walk into what's left of the apartment. The sun shines through the trees, as the chapter closes with an ominous shot of Yuki’s basement { A few panels leading the reader down a hall or two, and down the stairs} with her sword, Korace, placed over an empty, dusty fireplace.)


Chapter 2


Chapter 2 “Departing” Start

(The chapter opens with the view of a plate of food, freshly prepared, but certainly not full, sitting on the table, in front of Bryan. They three are located in Yuki’s dining room, Yuki herself cleaning up some of the debris, and the other two sitting at the table. Bryan seems hesitant to eat, and as he looks over, he sees Hitachi dig in without hesitation.)

Bryan: Whoa…

Hitachi: [Food in his mouth, eating quickly] What?

Bryan: How can you eat that without worrying if she poisoned it or something?

Hitachi: Eh, food is food. I haven't eaten this good in a few weeks.

Bryan: Yeah, but this girl is kinda crazy…

(Yuki looks back as she was dusting, she is irritated.)

Yuki: I can hear you, jerk.

(Bryan sighs, and starts to eat a bit. As he does, Bryan places his device on the table, and Hitachi notices it.)

Bryan: Hey, why are you even feeding us, anyways? I thought you were going to grill us on how and when you wanted your money, or something like that…

Yuki: Oh, don’t worry. There will be plenty of time for that.

(Bryan shudders.)

Yuki: … I’m not heartless though. You two did save me, so the least I can do is give you a good meal.

(Hitachi bows politely, still eating.)

Bryan: Oh, alright. Well, your welcome miss!

(Bryan starts to rapidly gobble down the food, until he is interrupted by Yuki.)

Yuki: Another ten dollars for the food.

(Bryan can then be seen visablly choking. After this small gag, and after they finish eating, the two are still sitting at the table, as Yuki joins them.)

Yuki: Where the hell did you two even come from anyways?

Bryan: What do ya mean, miss?

Yuki: You do realise I live in the middle of nowhere, right? The closest village is at least 10 or 15 miles out, getting out here by complete chance is kind of hard to believe.

(Bryan sits back and contemplates the question a bit.)

Bryan: Well, I just sort of followed my assignment, and it led me here. I’ve tried hunting down those thugs for awhile now, but I just couldn’t manage to handle all of them…

(Something seems to click in Bryan’s head, and he slams both hands down onto the table, startling Yuki and Hitachi.)

Yuki: Whoa, calm down! Break the table and that’s another 15 do-

Bryan: Miss, I think I have a way to pay you back!

(Yuki seems surprised, and listens.)

Bryan: If we form a rookie party, we can earn money for turning in crooks!

(The room is silent for a few seconds, and then Yuki and Hitachi break the silence in unison.)

Yuki and Hitachi: What?

Bryan: Yeah, if we join together, I think we can eventually pay off our debt within the year! I think it’s a good idea, anyways!

Hitachi: Um… Ok, that’s cool and all, but what is a “Rookie Party”?

(Yuki is also in the shot, thinking/saying the following line under her breath.)

Yuki: (Your the ones in debt… I don’t owe anything.)

Bryan: What? You don’t know what a Rookie Party is? Haven’t you heard of Dragon University?

(Both Hitachi and Yuki shake their heads “no”.)

Bryan: Huh!? How is that even possible!? It’s the number one school for teaching people how to use their Talents, like, for good things and not bad things.

Yuki: Ok, but why would I care?

(Bryan freezes in place, being completely shot down, despite his excitement.)

Hitachi: I’ve heard about it back home, but we don’t really have anything like that out there.

Yuki: Back home?

Hitachi: I used to live in Arcadia for sometime, but I’ve decided to branch out a bit, see the world.

Yuki: Oh, the ice country? How was it?

Hitachi: Well, it’s a lot colder than here, but I was born there, so I was used to it.

(Bryan looks lost for words, staring at the other two.)

Bryan: (They… are completely ignoring me…)

Bryan: Alright, I guess I’ll give you a crash course on how this all works, maybe then you’ll see why I’m so brilliant for coming up with the idea!

Yuki: I don’t think you and “brilliant” really belong together, but sure, go on.

Bryan: (Why is she so mean?!)

(Bryan clears his throat, and then as he explains the following, images of generic students and officers can be seen behind him, for the reader.)

Bryan: Well, as you guys saw out there, people sometimes choose to use their Talents for bad things.

Bryan: Dragon University is dedicated to make sure that people use their Talents for good, and it wants to promote the act of helping others out in the process. Think of it as teaching people how to be a superhero!

Bryan: But to even get into the University, you need to prove yourself. The classes there are rigorous, and the dropout rate is almost half as many kids that get into the school. It’s honestly kind of scary to think about…

Bryan: That’s why you need to show you’ve got what it takes before you can get admitted in.  What people usually do is form small Rookie Parties, typically between three to five people to a party, and take on smaller assignments.

Bryan: These assignments can be anything from doing someone's shopping, to taking on some big bad thugs, like we just did. Usually people will place a request for an assignment into their C.R.O.W, and nearby rookies will receive the call.

(Yuki interrupts Bryan.)

Yuki: Hey, slow down, your saying a whole lot, man…

Hitachi: So can just about anyone take on these odd jobs?

Bryan: Yup! You earn points based on the a few factors, the program considers the person making the request, the request’s urgency, and its threat level. If you earn enough points, eventually you can trade them in for compensation. Stuff like food, money, clothing, the essentials, really. Some people like to make a living off of just being a rookie alone. I guess you’d call veterans to the system Bounty Hunters.

Hitachi: I’m assuming if you stand out enough, the school will scout you, or something like that?

Bryan: Yeah, basically. The system has been around for a few years now, but It’s worked out well. Plus…

(Bryan puts his arm on the back of his neck, and blushes a bit.)

Bryan: I really want to become a student someday.

(Yuki seems unimpressed.)

Yuki: Really? I couldn’t tell… (This kid talks too much…)

(Bryan starts to derail off into a tangent.)

Bryan: Anywho, yeah, it’s a good way to earn some quick cash, and I hear that there are some special classes you can buy your way into. Traveling is easier too, they pay for you to stay overnight in places where your working on longer assignments, and the places you get to go to are incredible! Once I heard that they sent an entire class to-

(Yuki throws a spoon at Bryan’s forehead to shut him up.)

Yuki: You said “Quick Cash”?
(Bryan stops, and nods.)

Yuki: That’s all I needed to hear.

(Yuki gets up, and stretches a bit.)

Yuki: so how does this thing work?

Bryan: Ow… For a rookie team, you need at least three members before you can be considered official.

Yuki: Then I guess I can fill in for one slot, but don’t expect me to do any serious work, I’m only going to keep tabs on you.

(Bryan perks up.)

Bryan: Really! Awesome!

(Bryan turns to Hitachi next, and starts to question him about the team.)

Bryan: And you?

Hitachi: Huh?

Bryan: You should help out too! You said you were trying to see the world, right? Well this is the perfect way! You can help me do some work, and adventure at the same time!

(Hitachi ponders it for a bit, and then looks a little annoyed.)

Hitachi: Yeah but… I don’t really know. I just want to find a place to stay first, really.

Bryan: Why would you need a place to stay if you could stay wherever you wanted? Didn’t you hear me say they pay for your travel costs and give you places to spend the night?

Hitachi: Oh, did you say something like that? Sorry, no offense, but I kind of tuned out midway.

(Bryan, again, is shot down.)

Bryan: You guys are jerks…

Hitachi: I guess I can go along for now then. I do really need a permanent place to stay though.

(Hitachi looks around the room, and then looks over at Yuki.)

Hitachi: Hows about this. I’ll double my debt, but in exchange, when we can fix your home, you have to let me live here with you.

(Yuki and Bryan look a bit surprised.)

Yuki: What? Wouldn’t that be kind of awkward…? Though…

(Yuki turns to ponder.)

Yuki: That’s a lot of money…

Bryan: Is that all you care about…?

Hitachi: Then it’s settled.

(Hitachi gets up, and extends his hand to the other two. The others get up, and all meet in the middle of the room.)

Hitachi: My name is Hitachi Justice. I’m just a wanderer, so there’s not much else I can really say.

Yuki: My name’s Yuki Versai. I’m kind of a shut in, so don’t expect much from me either…

Bryan: And I’m Bryan, Leader of Team Bryan!

(The three place their hands into the middle, and swear to form the team. Yuki and Hitachi are visually annoyed by Bryan.)

Yuki: Team Bryan?

Hitachi: Yeah, no.

Bryan: Aw, was worth a shot…

(The three all part a bit, and get comfortable again.)

Hitachi: So, now what?

Bryan: Well, we need to go and deliver those criminals to the outpost in that Village Yuki was talking about. We should get 30 or 40 points for them, and once we do, we can probably ask around for more work.

Yuki: How much does 30 or 40 points net us in cash?

Bryan: Um… well, lets see…

(Bryan looks visibly distraught.)

Yuki: What is it?

Bryan: Um… to be honest… I’m not really sure.

(Yuki looks annoyed.)

Yuki: You don’t even know how much it pays?

Bryan: Well, up until now, I’ve never actually caught any criminals. To tell you the truth, I’m still pretty new to this stuff as well. I just hang around a lot of people who know what their doing…

(Hitachi sighs, and scratches his head.)

Hitachi: Dumbass… I guess we’ll just have to see when we get there.

Yuki: Well, it’s still early. We should head out soon. I’ve made the trek there a few times, but it’s no walk in the park.

Hitachi: I guess we might not be back here for awhile. Yuki, you should pack everything we might need. I’ll help out. Bryan, go check on the three outside, we should leave within the hour.

Bryan: Huh? Oh, right! Ok, got it!

(Bryan runs outside, and Yuki and Hitachi begin to pack up. They pack two bags, and one suitcase over the course of a few panels, and before they head outside, Yuki pauses.)

Yuki: Hey Hitachi, wait here one sec, I forgot something.

Hitachi: Alright, hurry up though. We don’t want the sun to go down too early on us.

(Yuki proceeds to head down to her basement, where Korace is. She walks over to the fireplace, and gets on her knees, and bows.)

Yuki: Sorry, but I’ll be gone for a bit longer than usual, master.

(The sword seems to glisten through faint sunlight from some cracks made during the fight.)

Yuki: I’ll be back soon.

(Yuki gets up, and begins to walk away, but stops suddenly.)

Korace: I heard what you were discussing. You should bring me with you. This could be dangerous work.

(Yuki doesn't seem to be off putted by the sword, infact, she’s more surprised that it wants to go along.)

Yuki: What? But you said I shouldn’t ever use you unless its an emergency…

Korace: You could have easily lost your life earlier, child. If it hadn’t been for those two, you wouldn’t be here right now. You’ll need to be able to defend yourself, even if that means taking a life.

(Yuki gulps, and walks over to pick Korace off of it’s stand.)

Yuki: Don’t talk too much while your out though, I don’t want to have to explain that you can talk to people all the time.

Korace: Don’t worry, only those that can I deem worthy can hear my voice.

Yuki: Right…

(Suddenly, Hitachi can be heard from the top floor.)

Hitachi: You moron!!!

Yuki: Huh? What’s going on!?

(Yuki takes Korace, her belongings, and runs upstairs. When she arrives, Bryan is bowing on the floor in tears and Hitachi is yelling at him.)

Bryan: I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it!

Yuki: What’s going on? What happened? Did you actually break something else!?

(Hitachi turns to Yuki slowly, seemingly hesitant to tell her.)

Hitachi: This… this idiot…

(Bryan lifts his head dramatically, tears streaming down his face.)

Bryan: The thugs! I let them get away! I’m so sorry Yuki!

(Yuki, normal at first, slowly realises the situation. As she does, within a few panels, her expression changes from concerned, to surprised, to extremely frustrated. A shot of the outside of the wrecked home can be seen as the sun begins to set. Yuki’s scream can be heard for miles.)

Yuki: What!?!?


Chapter 3


Chapter 3 “Teamwork” Start

(The chapter opens on Yuki and Hitachi walking ahead of Bryan, they have already left on their way into the forest. They are following a linear dirt path, the trees and woodland animals around them all admiring the sun set. Hitachi has all of the equipment tied around him, including his sword, carrying it for the group. Yuki just simply has Korace by her side. Yuki and Hitachi seem highly annoyed, as they walk a good few feet in front of Bryan. Bryan seems upset.)

Bryan: Um… guys?

Yuki: Shut up.

Bryan: But… what are we going to do about-

Hitachi: We aren't on speaking terms.

(Bryan holds his arm in embarrassment and shame, and they continue to walk in silence for a bit.)

Bryan: Shouldn’t we be tracking these guys down?

(Yuki stops, Hitachi takes a few more steps and then turns, and Yuki whips around.)

Yuki: For everytime you speak, for every syllable out of your mouth, I will add one thousand to your debt, are we clear!?

(Bryan shuts up, tears forming on his eyes. Yuki Sighs and continues down the path with the others following.)

Yuki: Besides, we already are tracking them down. This path is barely ever used, and there are faint hints that it was recently used. They are heading down this way.

(Hitachi stretches his neck out a bit, and looks over at Yuki.)

Hitachi: Well, they probably won’t be moving all night, I think it’s ok if we stop soon too. Besides, all of this gear is kind of getting heavy, even for me.

Yuki: Right. Let’s give it another hour, then we’ll settle.

(Hitachi seems disappointed and exhausted.)

Hitachi: ( A whole hour…?)

Yuki: By the way, we should probably discuss how we’ll go about this.

Hitachi: You mean how we will catch the thugs?

Yuki: Yeah, We kind of just acted on instinct and adrenaline back at (Turns to face Bryan) what used to be my place.

(Bryan winces.)

Hitachi: Well, first we should go over our tactics. I couldn’t really tell from inside, how do you two go about combat?

(Yuki brings her sword up a bit to draw attention to it.)

Yuki: I fight with my Katana, although I’ve rarely ever had to use it on actual people.

Hitachi: What’s your Talents? Mine is Strength, it’s why I can carry all of this with relative ease. I also fight with a sword, mines a bit heavier than yours though.

(Yuki walks ahead, in silence, staring at her feet.)


Bryan: My Talent is also Strength! Though I prefer to punch people right in the face! Honestly, I prefer it to using any kind of-

(Hitachi nods his head towards Yuki, and Bryan looks over, both are concerned.)

Yuki: I’m… not really sure, to be honest....

(Hitachi and Bryan stop, and Yuki turns to them, a little embarrassed.)

Hitachi: Wait, are you telling me you don’t know what your Talent is?

Bryan: Huh!? How can you not know? Didn’t you go to school?

Yuki: Um… No. Actually, I’ve lived out by myself for a really long time. I only see other people’s Talents in action rarely when I have to go shopping in the village...

Hitachi: Where’s your family? You must have somebody who’s at least raised you.

(Yuki grips Korace, and looks down. She bites her lip.)

Yuki: No… I don’t really have anyone like that.

(Hitachi and Bryan look at each other, and the Bryan sighs.)

Bryan: Well, don’t worry Miss Yuki! You got us now!

(Yuki looks surprised for a second, but then heel turns back to her previous demeanor, though she is blushing through it.)

Yuki: Shut up.

Bryan: Jeez, just trying to be nice…

(The scene changes to night fall, and the three have set up camp on the side of the path, in a small opening in the forest. Hitachi is sitting on a rock, his eyes closed, as if he is contemplating something. Bryan is messing around on his C.R.O.W near a fire they made, and Yuki is polishing Korace on the opposite side of the fire. Hitachi looks over at Yuki as she’s cleaning.)

Hitachi: (I guess it’s because I’m in a similar situation… but… She's definitely lying to us. I find it hard to believe she would have these kinds of social skills if she lived by herself. Not to mention her house.)

(Hitachi closes his eyes, and sighs to himself.)

Hitachi: (I’m not really in a position to judge her though... so I’ll keep it to myself, for now.)

(Yuki looks over at Bryan, who is still messing with his device. She looks curiously, and eventually notices.)

Bryan: Uh… you good?

Yuki: What are you doing?

Bryan: Hm? I’m just checking if there’s any requests posted. We are out in the middle of nowhere, so I’m not surprised that I’m not really finding anything.

(Bryan continues to tap on the screen, and Yuki leans over a bit to look. She clearly is interested in it.)

Yuki: So… is this that Bird thing you were talking about back at my place?

Byran: A… C.R.O.W?

(Bryan tries not to laugh, but bursts out hysterically.)

Bryan: A “Bird thing”? Come on Yuki, everyone knows what a C.R.O.W is!

(Yuki tilts her head, and Hitachi chimes in.)

Hitachi: Actually, I’m just as curious as she is. How do those things work?

(Bryan looks at the two, smiling at first, but then realises they aren't joking.)

Bryan: Oh my god… you guys are serious…

(Yuki seems a bit annoyed.)

Yuki: Just tell us what it is already.

(Bryan looks perplexed, but clears his throat.)

Bryan: Well, this is a C.R.O.W. It’s what rookies and students use to communicate with the school. It’s also how you can keep track of your assignments. Everyone back home has one of these… I guess I’m just not used to people not knowing what it is… my bad…

(Bryan sulks down, feeling bad for how he reacted. Yuki gets closer, and examines the C.R.O.W up close, while it’s still in Bryan’s hand.)

Yuki: So… you can get requests this way? Where would me and Hitachi get one?

Bryan: Huh? Well, you guys can probably buy one at the outpost. People break theirs all the time, so they make sure to keep outposts stocked. As long as you know your information, you can log into your account from any C.R.O.W.

Hitachi: What does C.R.O.W stand for? I noticed that the letters were printed on the back as if it was an abbreviation.

Bryan: Hmm… I think it’s “C”ather, “R”ecruit, “O”rganize, and “W”in?

Yuki: “Gather” is spelt with a “G”, not a “C”...

Hitachi: So you don’t know?

(Bryan smiles a bit, and answers bluntly.)

Bryan: Yeah, I didn’t really pay attention when my friend handed me one. I just got so pumped to actually start taking on requests that I just rushed the exchange so I could get to work.

Hitachi: Whatever, as long as you know how to use it, I don’t really care.

(A shot is shown of the three chatting from a distance. The scene then fades away, and changes to Yuki sleeping, in the middle of the night. She slowly opens her eyes as she hears a faint noise from a distance away. She raises herself up, and looks around. Hitachi is sitting by a tree, asleep, with his sword by his side, his cloak being used as a blanket. Bryan is nowhere to be seen. Yuki rubs her eyes, and looks around for him, but then hears a noise coming from deeper in the forest. She slowly sneaks towards the noise, and, after stopping behind a tree, sees Bryan, his shirt and Bandana off, and he his punching the air, training. His C.R.O.W is lying on a nearby stump, on.)

Yuki: (Whoa… doesn't this kid ever take a break? Maybe I should try and scare him or something.)

(As Yuki makes a movement to move closer, she's hears an unfamiliar voice, and hides again quickly. She then notices the sound is coming from the C.R.O.W.)

???: So what did you call me so late for? I’m a busy man you know…

(Bryan is punching the air, out of breath, but still conversing.)

Bryan: Just wanted to let you know that I may not be home anytime soon. I met some great people today!

???: So you’re going to stay with complete strangers? Works for me, I hate cooking for you anyways, you lazy bum.

(The screen shows a man in a lab coat in a swivel chair, contemplating something as he talks to Bryan. He has a lot of medicine and notes scattered about his office.)

???: Though, I’m curious. What spurred this on? It’s not really like you to stay away from here for so long.

Bryan: I think… I finally found my team.

(The man perks up in curiosity.)

???: Oh? Well, that was sudden, huh?

(The man presses his hand against his stubble, and seems relieved of something.)

???: Bout time… I’m happy for you.

Bryan: Yeah, I figured you would be, Doc. I’ll keep you posted!

???: I’ll be rooting you on. Go show the world your passion. I’ll keep you posted on my research as well.

(The scene now shows the tree Yuki was hiding behind. It is empty, and a few feet away, she is walking away, with a faint, warm smile on her face. After one final wide shot of the forest at night, the scene switches to morning, as they are packing up to hit the path again. Hitachi is cleaning up the fire place as Yuki and Bryan chat.)

Yuki: Just so we’re clear, I still don’t like you.

(Bryan rubs his eyes.)

Bryan: Yuki, I just got up… Really?

Yuki: Yes.

Hitachi: Well, if we are going to be a team, you two need to get along more. If not, we’re just going to trip over ourselves all the time.

Yuki:[Sighing] He’s right. I guess I’ll pretend to like you.

(Yuki smiles towards Bryan, half assed.)

Yuki: How’s this?

Byran: … your like… the worst. You know that?

( Some time passes as the three continue to walk down the road together.)

Yuki: Hey, Hitachi. Can I ask you something?

Hitachi: Sure, anything to break the silence I guess.

Yuki: How did you manage to get mixed up with that group? I know you must have come in with them. It sounded like they knew you.

Bryan: Huh? Hitachi was with those thugs?

Hitachi: Well, they took me in for about a day, said they had some place to sleep at night and I wasn’t really in a position to turn that down.

Bryan: Wait, doesn't that make you a criminal?!

Yuki: He was just trying to get a place to spend the night, Bryan. If everyone who needed a place to sleep was a criminal, that would make the three of us all criminals as well.

(Bryan freezes up, as if the concept finally clicked.)

Bryan: Oh wow, never thought of it like that before!

Hitachi: You actually have thoughts?

(Yuki chuckles a bit, as Bryan yells at Hitachi. As the three chat, a silhouette can be made out from the the forest, watching them.)

Korace: Yuki, to your right…

(Yuki is caught off guard by Korace, and halts suddenly. Hitachi and Bryan do the same, and look at her.)

Hitachi: What is it now? Did you see something?

Yuki: Uh… Yeah, I think there’s something over there we should check out.

(Yuki turns to the right, and the three notice the silhouette, who is now running deep into the forest after being spotted. Bryan freaks out, and Hitachi grips his sword.)

Bryan: Whoa, creepy! Who was that!?

Hitachi: If I head to guess, our target.

(Hitachi starts running after the figure, Yuki and Bryan follow suit close behind. Eventually, they find themselves deep in the forest, looking around for a trail or hint of their stalker.)

Hitachi: *censored*, I lost him… Did you guys see where he went?

Korace: Tell them to check from the top of the trees. If there is a clearing nearby, it’s likely their hideout.

(Yuki looks down at Korace for a second, and then up at Bryan. Hitachi notices.)

Yuki: Try seeing if you can spot anything from that tree Bryan.

(Yuki points up to one of the nearby trees. Bryan nods, and starts to climb his way up there. Hitachi seems to be catching onto something, but doesn't say anything. As Bryan reaches the top, he shouts down to the others.)

Bryan: There’s smoke coming from… it looks like a bit further east from here! I don’t think it’s the village, too small. What do you think?

Hitachi: Well, Yuki?

Yuki: Huh? Well… It’s probably their hideout… or at the very least where they are camped out for now. We should try and scope it out.

Hitachi: Well put. Alright, let’s get going. Keep a low profile. [Hitachi looks over at Bryan as he gets down from the tree] Especially you Bryan, you talk loud.

(Bryan seems annoyed by that remark. The three sneak their way through the bushes and trees, and eventually they are right by the clearing where the three thugs are set up. Thugs 1 and 2 are eating some meat by a small table, while Thug 3 is scavenging through supplies by a tent.)

Yuki: You know, now that I think about it, I’m honestly surprised Bryan knew which direction East was.

(Hitachi tries not to laugh, and motions for Yuki to be quiet. Bryan seems annoyed, but simply sighs. They eavesdrop on the three. Thug 1 is cleaning his knife, and Thug 2 is chowing down.)

Thug 1: So, any words from the higher ups? I just want to get paid already…

Thug 2: [While chewing] They said funds been tight since security round the big city is really buckling down. We’ll have to go there ourselves, or we can wait for them to send a scout.

Thug 1: Ugh, them damn scouts take forever though, we’d starve before then. Man, If I was the head of this gang, I’d make sure there were small little hideouts all around the country, and funnel money that way.

Thug 2: Listen, if you were actually good at comin’ up with stuff, you wouldn’t be stealin’ from some suckers on the street. Shut up and eat already.

Thug 1: Tch.

(The two eat away, and Thug 3 brings out a few bags from the tent.)

Thug 3: The couple we drove out of here wasn’t really packing much. I only found a few valuables in there. Best I found was a small pocket watch.

Thug 1: What do you expect? They were just a couple of hikers, why would they pack more than they need?

Thug 2: Better then nothing I guess, the watch will buy us a few more days, at most.

(The three behind the cover discuss their plan.)

Hitachi: We need to catch them off guard. We don’t want to give them a chance to act.

Yuki: Yeah… Also, they may have something like the C.R.O.W to call back up, so we should make sure to prevent that.

(Bryan looks over at the tent, and sees Thug 3 looking at a picture he found.)

Thug 3: Damn, makes me sick how happy these people are.

Thug 2: Whatcha got there?

Thug 3: Some photo, just junk.

(Thug 3 drops the photo on the ground, and smirks. He then stomps on it with his heel, glass shattering, and ruining the photograph.)

Thug 3: Oops.

(The other thugs laugh, and the picture is revealed to show the couple, a man and women, with a young boy and girl in the middle of the photo. Only Bryan’s lower face is shown, but it’s clear something snapped.)

Hitachi: Alright, we can each take one. I’ll take the older one, as I think my sword can knock him down easier. Bryan can take the man with the knife, and Yuki can take the clay one. If your quick on your feet Yuki, you can dodge or deflect those shots. They don’t come out that quick, so it should be doable.

Yuki: Understood. What should Bryan do about the knife?

Hitachi: Hmmm, Bryan, have you ever fought someone with a weapon like-

(Hitachi stares behind Yuki, mortified. Yuki seems concerned, and turns to see Bryan is nowhere to be found. [ Note to artist - You can draw a dotted outline of where Bryan was, for comedic effect] The two look beyond that, to see Bryan rushing out of the cover, and screaming at the top of his lungs. His tone is different from before. He is much more serious.)

Bryan: I’m going to kick your asses!

(Thugs 1 and 2 jump up from their seats, and Thug 3 drops what he’s carrying. Yuki pulls her hair, and Hitachi smacks his forehead. During the next thought, show a full page of Bryan breaking out of cover, in a grand entrance.)

Yuki and Hitachi : (Bryan, you dumbass!!!)

(Bryan rushes towards Thug 3, and attempts to punch him right in the gut. Thug 3 braces for impact, and guards the attack with one arm, and smacks Bryan away with the other. Thug 3 is much taller and broader then Bryan. Bryan gets up, wipes away a scratch on his cheek from being hit, and attempts the same thing again.)

Thug 3: Damn brat, how haven’t you given up yet!?

(Instead of messing with Bryan this time, Thug 3’s arm transforms into a metal like material, and he strikes down Bryan in a single blow, directly to the top of his head. Bryan loses consciousness for a split second, as it’s clear that his hurt a lot. The Talent panel reads “Talent: Metal Morph.” as Thug 3 stares menacingly at the boy he just struck down. As Bryan falls, the panel reflects the blurry vision Bryan has. His entire head rattles, and his eyes start to fade as he falls. At this point, Yuki and Hitachi leap out, and the other two thugs are caught off guard. Hitachi reaches out completely with his sword, striking Thug 1 in the gut, and sending him flying off of his feet. Yuki unsheathes Korace, and before Thug 2 can shoot any clay, Yuki throws Korace’s sheath at his face. The thug reacts by smacking the sheath away, but as he does, Yuki has gotten too close, and she is able to smack him in the face with the hilt. Unlike with the first time she did this though, Thug 2 regains his footing, and creates a bar of clay. He swings it into Yuki’s stomach like a bat, and she falls to her knees, coughing. Hitachi looks over at Yuki, concerned.)

Hitachi: Crap, Yuki! Hold on, I’ll-

(Hitachi suddenly freezes up as Thug 3 stands over him. Thug 3 picks Hitachi up by his head, with his metal arm, and starts to crush him.)

Thug 3: looks fellas, looks like I caught us a rat!

(Hitachi screams in pain, as shots of Bryan struggling to get up and Yuki regaining her breath are shown. Thug 2 walks over to Yuki, laughing at them while he strolls over.)

Thug 2: You guys are pushing your luck. You only beat us before because we were careless. Sorry, but this is goodbye... for good.

(While Yuki is on her knees, barely breathing, Thug 2 kicks Yuki’s chin with full force, sending her flying a few feet. She lands on her back with a loud thud, and she drops Korace a few feet away. Hitachi struggles helplessly, but he manages to elbow Thug 3 in the nose, and free himself, but he takes a second to grasp his head, now bleeding.)

Hitachi: God dammit… what the hell are we doing!?

(Before the chapter closes out, the final page shows a splitting shot of all six fighters. There are five flashes at the top of the page of Yuki [Gritting her teeth in pain], Bryan [He can’t seem to gain his balance, and can’t seem to see straight], Thug 1 [Preparing his knife], Thug 2 [Still has his leg in the air, smirking cockily], and Thug 3 [Cracking his metal knuckles, his free arm is also mid transformation]. A final panel towards the bottom shows a close up of Hitachi’s face, blood pouring down past his eyes.)

Hitachi: We need to get out *censored* together… and quick!


(Vol. 1 Continued in a separate post!!)

I would normally follow up the scripts with the artwork for the characters, but they tend to crowd up the forum, so if your interested in their designs, take a peek at our facebook, or just ask!
« Last Edit: March 15, 2019, 09:21:04 PM by PichuDX »

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2019, 03:41:19 AM »
Hi, I read it. So you guys are doing a full rewrite. Interesting. Good luck :thumbsup:

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2019, 10:52:16 PM »
Chapter 2 posted! + Each volume will have its own post, within that post I will add chapter regularly +

Offline suuper-san

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2019, 10:19:59 AM »
all the best for the rewrite. I will have a read of it sometime ^_^
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Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2019, 10:39:40 PM »
Chapter 3 posted! :D

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2019, 09:20:10 PM »
[ Vol. 1 Post (Continued) ]

Chapter 4


Chapter 4 “Paradoxical Team” Start

(The chapter opens with Hitachi breathing heavily, grabbing his blade off of the ground, and hoisting himself up with it. Hitachi is struggling to regain his calm demeanor. Thug 3 is holding his face in pain, his nose is bleeding. Hitachi looks at his current situation. Yuki and Bryan are still downed, and The thugs are closing in on them. Thug 3 is distracted with his own pain.)

Hitachi: (Right…I’m not cut out for this… I wasn’t born to be a fighter... If I were to flee now, in this moment, and ditch these guys, I could get away just fine. Nothing’s stopping me from simply running away. Nothing…)

(Time seems to stand still for Hitachi, the rest of his surroundings seem to fade into white noise. A panel emphasising his glass Hourglass necklace is shown [The hourglass has no special powers, it’s just apart of his design, and character.] Then he has a flashback to forming the team in the back of his mind.)

Hitachi: (I don’t owe these people anything… I don’t owe them…)

(The scene of when Yuki explains the debt plays out in his mind. Hitachi grits his teeth. He looks over at an open pathway, but shakes the thought out of his head.)

(Suddenly, a final flash appears, of an unknown scene. Dedicate a few panels to this. The scene is a musty, prison environment. Empty cells and moist bricks line the walls. Hitachi is on his knees, on the outside looking in. His head is down, and his breath can be seen, signifying where ever he is, it is very cold. His attire is a lot more clean then it is currently, along with a fur coat, and he doesn't have his sword. His fists are clenched shut. He smacks his head against the bars, and a shot of a girl, around his age, but a complete silhouette, can be seen on the inside. Hitachi is trying to holding back tears, but he is clearly choking up. [Note to Artists - You don’t have to show his eyes, just hints that he is about to tear up.] Its then revealed he is holding onto an old, rusty cell key, and as he opens his hands, his palms are shaking. Some faint yelling can be heard far away [Blur out the words “Where is he?! Quick, find him! He could be in danger!”, but make it possible to make out if the reader really wants to.] The girl reaches her hand through the bars, slowly and with a soft, genuine smile, and places her hand atop of Hitachi’s hair, petting him gently.)

Girl: - It’s because your really sweet, Hitachi.

(Hitachi snaps back into reality. His face gives off the same emotions he felt back in the flashback, and in a rush of adrenaline, whips around in a full 360 motion with his sword, with a single hand gripping the handle, yelling at the top of his lungs. Dedicate an entire page to this.)

Hitachi: Dammit!!!!

(Hitachi smacks Thug 3 directly in the stomach. Place emphasis on the impact itself. The force from his swing is so powerful, several ribs can be heard cracking and snapping, and the thug almost immediately coughs up blood. In what seems to be slow motion, Hitachi turns to Yuki and Bryan, and shouts at them. As he speaks, the thug is still flying through the air. Only the world around them is in slow motion, the three of them seem to be really taking the next words to heart.)

Hitachi: I don’t know about you two, but I’ve given up way too much to die here!

(As Hitachi says this, Bryan regains his stupid grin. Bryan punches the dirt, and pumps himself back up.)

Bryan: Heh… Thanks… I needed that, Hitachi.

(Yuki also manages a faint smile while she has her right arm over her eyes. Before she pulls herself up, she speaks to them both.)

Yuki: You know, we make a pretty crappy team. But I think I’m ok with that. As long as you guys pay me interest for my service.

(Yuki pulls herself up all the way to her feet, as Thug 2 is in complete disbelief of the sheer power Hitachi just outputted. He’s frozen in utter fear.)

Thug 2: What the hell!? Whoa, these kid are trying to kill us! I- I can’t go out like this…!

(Thug 2 seems to be seriously contemplating running for his life. Thug 1, who had been knocked away earlier, storms past Thug 2 towards Yuki. He pushes Thug 2 behind him as he stomps towards her.)

Thug 1: I’m not losing my payday because of some dumbass kids. I’ll kill each of them with my bare hands if I have to.

(Thug 1 breaks into a full sprint, rushing at Yuki in full force, swinging his Knife wildly, the poison flying around as he swings. Before he reaches Yuki, Bryan smashes into the thug with his shoulder, pushing him to the ground. As the thug falls, his eyes are still trained on the two kids, with a bloodlust. Bryan turns to Yuki.)

Bryan: Grab your sword Yuki, it’s now or never!

(Yuki, still a bit shocked, nods and grabs Korace off of the ground.)

Korace: Yuki, listen to me. I have a plan.

Yuki: Make it quick.

(Bryan seems to think Yuki is speaking to him, and nods. Bryan rushes over to Thug 2, and throws a few jabs his way. Thug 2 tries to dodge, but he freezes up in fear, and Bryan fakes a strike out, and instead headbutts him in the forehead.)

Bryan: Hyaa!

(Thug 2 falls to the ground, gripping his head in pain.)

Thug 2: N- No! Please, Have mercy!!

Bryan: Don’t worry, I won’t kill ya!

(Bryan bends down and grins.)

Bryan: I need to turn you in alive if I want my points!

(Thug 2 stares at Bryan mortified, as if Bryan was some kind of psychopath. Back with Thug 1, he pulls himself off of the ground, and continues to swing at Yuki, relentlessly. The thug has completely lost his mind, swinging without care. A few panels can show his blurry, enraged vision, as his only target are the kids. He isn’t defending himself at all, swinging as if his limbs were lifeless ragdolls. Yuki is becoming scared of the thug, backing away slowly and trying to avoid him. As she backs up into a tree, Korace speaks to her.)

Yuki: Wh- What do I do?! I.. I…

Yuki: (I’ve never been so scared… This man is… he’s insane!)

Korace: Quickly, point me towards him!

(Yuki closes her eyes, terrified of the man’s sincere blood lust. She points Korace towards the thug, and shouts.)

Yuki: Just get away from me!!!

(Suddenly, a white-blue flash appears from the hilt of Korace. Hitachi and Bryan look towards Yuki.)

Hitachi: Yuki, Move alrea-

(As Hitachi yells, and right before the thug lands a backhanded slash on Yuki, Korace sends, from the hilt towards the thug, a giant wave of Ice, which floods out at a rapid pace. Yuki opens her eyes in shock and surprise, and Hitachi and Bryan are lost for words. The Ice keeps going, creating a giant, rugged cone shape, with its peak height reaching well above the treeline. Show a panel of birds flying away from the attack, as the sun is beginning to set. The Thug is completely encapsulated by the ice. Yuki is shaking, and drops Korace as she slouches down against the tree.)

Hitachi: W… Whoa.

Bryan: That was… incredible… was that Yuki?

(Some time passes, and when we return, the Thugs are all knocked unconscious, tied together much more firmly than before. Korace and Hitachi’s blade are lodged into the ground, side by side, shining in the sunset. Hitachi and Bryan are sitting at the table, side by side as well, While Yuki treats their head wounds. She is using the bags the thugs had as makeshift bandages.)

Yuki: Sorry, I know these aren't that great, but it will hold you guys off until we get to the village.

(She finishes tying it around Hitachi’s head, Bryan’s is already done. Hitachi sighs.)

Hitachi: That was too close… We could have seriously died back there.


Yuki: Let’s just be glad we made it out. When we get some time to ourselves we need to work on getting a certain someone to stay put.

Bryan: S...Sorry guys…

(Yuki stares at Bryan, sighs, and smiles a bit, pulling her coat up to hide it a bit.)

Yuki: Don’t worry. Your far from perfect, trust me… but you meant well.

(Hitachi looks over at Korace, and then back at Yuki as she’s teasing Bryan. He seems to be thinking to himself again.)

Hitachi: Yuki.

(The other two stop, and Yuki looks at Hitachi.)

Yuki: Y- Yeah?

Hitachi: You said you didn’t know what your Talent was, yet what you did earlier was incredible. I think it’s obvious to all of us that wasn’t normal.

Yuki: I’m sorry… to be honest I-

Hitachi: I want to ask you something… and tell me the truth.

(Yuki stares at Hitachi, and sees he is extremely serious. Bryan watches the two in awe.)

Hitachi: Did you lie to us when you said you didn’t know what your Talent was?

(Yuki gulps. Bryan looks back and forth between the two.)

Bryan: H… hey, I don’t think now's the time for something like this. Shouldn’t we worry more about getting those three to the village?

Hitachi: If we are going to make this team work, we need to stop hiding things from each other. Let’s face it, we don’t work well at all together, not to mention we just met. So Yuki, tell me. Tell me the truth.

(Yuki looks down at her feet, and clenches her fists. She’s nervous, but looks confidently at Hitachi.)

Yuki: I didn’t lie. I told you the complete truth, I didn’t know that was my Talent, if it even is.

(Hitachi closes his eyes, and turns away. Bryan seems to be very uneasy about the conversation. After a second of thinking it over, Hitachi smiles.)

Hitachi: Alright. I believe you.

(Hitachi thinks silently to himself.)

Hitachi: (I feel bad that I’m being a bit of a hypocrite, but no going back now.)

(Yuki, sighs, relieved. Bryan does the same, but Bryan looks over at Korace.)

Bryan: I know it may sound crazy… but… what if it was her sword?

(Yuki jolts up, and Hitachi considers it.)

Hitachi: I’ve never heard of objects having Talents, but I wouldn’t discount the possibility. Yuki, what do you think?

Yuki: Honestly… I’m not sure. I’ve never seen it do that before… but I don’t think that Ice came from me, either.

HItachi: Hmm. Maybe we can look into it when we get to the village. We will rest here for now though, it’s getting late.

Bryan: What do we do about the criminals?

Hitachi: We’ll have to take turns keeping a lookout. Switch off during the night so we can all get some sort of sleep.

(Bryan yawns and stretches.)

Bryan: Sleep sounds pretty good to me, that was enough action for one day.

Yuki: Whoa, didn’t think that would come out of your mouth, of all people…

Bryan: A hero needs his sleep too!

(Bryan lays his head down onto the table, and Hitachi and Yuki laugh a bit. As they are getting comfortable, The two suddenly tense up, and rush to grab their swords. Bryan jolts up, and looks around.)

Byran: What!? What is it!?

(Hitachi and Yuki are in battle poses, as a small car drives down the path near them. It is driving straight towards them. Bryan also gets up, and cracks his knuckles.)

Bryan: Crap, did they actually call for backup!?

(The car stops a few feet from them, and two people climb out of the car. A middle aged, blonde women, in a silk, business esc suit with glasses and an older, shorter man with gray hair and a gentlemanly attire look towards the kids as they get out of the car.)

Old Man: Hmm…

(The old man pulls out a cane and shuts the door behind him, and the women pulls out a more high tech version of the C.R.O.W. The man looks around, and notices the thugs tied together by the sidelines. He then directs his attention towards the three kids, and clears his throat.)

Old Man: *High Pitched voice*  Hiya~!
{Write that in his speech bubble the first time he speaks}

(The three kids don’t move, but their expressions show a mix of confusion and surprise.)

Old Man: Allow me to introduce myself. I am the chief of Kuro Kuro village. I think I see one familiar face, Is that you, Mrs. Versai?

(Yuki blinks a few times, and then answers, lowing her blade. The other two follow her lead.)

Yuki: Um.. yeah, Mr. Kuro…. But what are you doing all the way out here?

Hitachi: You know him?

(The woman moves past the chief and stands directly in front of the the kids. She twirls her updated C.R.O.W in her hand as she raises it, and she then flashes each of them in the face, one by one, with a camera on her C.R.O.W, blinding the three.)

Bryan: Whoa, hey, what the heck was that?!

Hitachi: Damn, why did you do that?

(The woman talks rapidly and efficiently, as she rapidly taps her screen.)

Woman: Hmm. I see. Bryan Nomuri, though Nomuri seems to be an adopted name. Your the only one here logged into the DU database, do you care to explain what you are doing way out here without a team? Unless this is your team, in which case to avoid a lawsuit you will have to register your friends there into the system sometime within the next 24 hours. I’m surprised your way out here on your own, it says here you live in Toaru city, a far cry from Kuro Kuro for sure, a days trip, and I’m talking about a car. God knows how long a journey like that would be on foot.

Bryan: Wh- Whoa lady… calm down, take a breather.

(The woman points her index finger and middle finger outward towards Yuki.)

Woman: Your name miss?

Yuki: Huh? Oh… Um, Yuki Versai, nice to-

(The woman moves onto Hitachi, annoying Yuki.)

Woman: And you?

Hitachi: Hitachi Justice.

Woman: Right, I’ll have to conduct my research on you, Hitachi. Your face isn’t registered for miles, so you must be a long way from home, as for Yuki, you came up as owning a residential area near by, however a satellite picked up that the residence is now gone, I am so sorry for your loss, but that's how these things go. Thank you for handling these thugs, we appreciate your cooperation with the Dragon University and hope for-

(Chief Kuro pats the woman on the back.)

Kuro: Clam down, Jess. Your talking too fast for them to understand you, I think.

(the three kids have swirls in their eyes, completely lost. The woman coughs shylly, and pushes her glasses into place.)

Jess: R-Right. My bad sir.

(Kuro clears his throat again.)

Kuro: You three, come to the village with us. We can get you all registered as a legit team at the local outpost.

(Yuki is still a bit confused, but she smiles warmly towards Kuro.)

Yuki: Thank you Mr. Kuro, we’d appreciate the lift. But… may I ask how you knew we were even here?

Kuro: Your not as far from the village as you may think. You kids made quite the ruckus. Not to mention that giant iceberg that appeared a few hours ago.

(Yuki blushes a bit, and Bryan laughs.)

Bryan: I like these guys! Alright, let’s get going you two!

Hitachi: If they offer us a place to spend the night, I’m down.

Yuki: Honestly, I could go for some food…

Jess: All of that will be accounted for. Now please get into the car, I will handle the criminals.

(The group gather their things, and prepare to leave. The three thugs are tied to the top of the car, In a comedic fashion, and the three kids squeeze into the back. Jess drives them, with Kuro in the passenger seat, humming to himself.  An image of them driving towards the village as night falls closes the chapter off.)


Chapter 5


Chapter 5  “Rookies Grow Up” Start

(This chapter opens on a shot of the early morning sun rising. Yuki’s, Hitachi’s, and Bryan’s jackets are washed, and drying on a clothesline, a small bird is sitting on the line, pecking itself. Yuki is sitting nearby, with a cup of coffee. She is sitting on some stone steps leading to a modest cottage, and some villagers are hustling and bustling about in the background. As Yuki takes a sip, she thinks to herself about the recent events.)

Yuki: (Man… still can’t believe I’m actually here right now.)

(A few images flash in the background behind her of Thug 2 destroying her house, forming the team, her watching Bryan train as he talks to his C.R.O.W, and the giant Iceberg shot out of Korace.)

Yuki: (My life has been so cut and dry after I started living on my own. I never would have imagined I’d have to fight for my life like that.)

(Yuki looks up at the sky, and stretches.)

Yuki: (I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this before… )

(New flashes appear, Ones implying that the three celebrated the night before. The next few panels flashback. They are sitting around a table, and Bryan is eating a crap ton as Hitachi and Yuki watch.)

Hitachi: You could, you know, actually enjoy your food.

Bryan: [Mouth Full] We worked hard for tis! We need to cerebrate!

Yuki: Please… chew your food with your mouth closed, Byran.

(Bryan swallows it all down and laughs.)

Bryan: You guys need to lighten up, this is our first completed request! This should be special!

( Yuki and Hitachi look at each other, and Hitachi shrugs and Yuki downs some drink on the table.)

Hitachi: Sounds good to me, I haven't really enjoyed myself since I left Arcadia.

(Yuki instantly spits her drink into the air, and Bryan chokes on his food.)

Yuki: Excuse me? Did you just say Arcadia?

Bryan: Isn’t that… like a whole other country?! Not even next to ours, Arcadia is like, Waaaay out there!

Hitachi: I know.

Yuki: How did you get all the way out here?

Hitachi: I walked.

(Bryan’s jaw drops.)

Bryan: I walked from Toaru to here, and I thought I’d pass out!

Hitachi: Well that doesn't surprise me, to be honest.

(Yuki laughs a bit and Bryan yells at Hitachi. Jess is visible from the next room, watching the kids goof off. Yuki notices, but pretends not to. She brushes it off, and keeps chatting.)

Yuki: Seriously though, you came a long way. Hey, got any stories?

(Bryan Perks up.)

Bryan: Oh, yeah! Common’, you must have something?

(Hitachi stretches, and folds his arms behind his head as he thinks back to his journey.)

Hitachi: Hmm… The first thing that comes to mind was this one time, I was chased down by a pack of wolves.

Bryan: Whoa, really? What did you do?

(Hitachi deadpan stares into Bryan’s eyes.)

Hitachi: I slaughtered each of them, one by one.

(Bryan seems mortified, Yuki unshoke. Hitachi laughs playfully before continuing.)

Hitachi: Just kidding, Bryan. I actually gave them some of the food I packed. They were surprisingly tame. I found out later some man in a really puffy scarf kept them as pets.

Bryan: [Sniffling] That was a cruel joke…

Hitachi: Eh, knowing you, you’d probably forget about it the next time someone mentioned DU.
Yuki: About that, what’s our next step? Did you turn in those thugs yet?

Bryan: Yeah actually. I’m just waiting for the points to be rewarded.

Yuki: So how much did we earn? I need to be able to gauge how long this will take.

Bryan: Well, the request was 40 points, though I don't know how well that translates to money…

(As the kids chat, Jess suddenly enters the room with her C.R.O.W in hand. She stands over the kids suddenly, looking down on them as she adjusts her glasses into place.)

Jess: 4 Dollars.

(There is silence. The kids stare up to her in confusion, and then Bryan and Hitachi show disbelief. Yuki’s face is shadowed out.)

Bryan: Ex- Excuse me, miss?

Hitachi: Did, you just say-

Jess: 40 points translates to 4 Dollars, exactly. The points are scaled to accommodate the skill level of the party involved, and the rank of the request. Seeing as they were low ranked thugs, and you are at the very bottom of the barrel, you have earned 4 Dollars. If you were a full fledged party, you may have earned around 40 or 50 for that encounter. Think of it as a “minimum wage”. They have to make it feasible as a job, but you did the equivalent to mopping the floors of the bathroom stalls, and that's being generous.

(Bryan looks as if he’s about to cry, and then starts to sweat, as if he just thought of something. He slowly cocks his head in Yuki’s direction. Yuki seems beyond pissed.)

Yuki: 4 Dollars… Bryan. You made me risk my life for 4 Dollars?

Bryan: Y-Yuki!! Calm down, I’m sure that this was just a bad misunderstanding. Miss, are you-

Jess: I am beyond positive. Believe it or not my Talent is Strategist. I believe I have only ever made two mistakes in my life, as of this moment.

(Yuki clenches her fists. Bryan sweats even more, and tenses up. Hitachi is chuckling in the corner.)

Hitachi: Oh man Bryan, your screwed!

(Yuki leaps at Bryan, attempting to choke the life out of him.)
Yuki: If I turn in his dead corpse as fertilizer to some old hag, how much do you reckon I can make!?

(Bryan is tapping the ground as if to say “I Give up!” Yuki continues to strangle him comedically. Jess taps a few times on her C.R.O.W, and responds.)

Jess: Assuming you want the points to translate into direct cash, some black markets may offer upwards of 4000 Dollars.

Yuki: You hear that Bryan, that’s a good chunk of cash!

Bryan: Please, I give! I’m sorry Yuki! I’m sorry!!!

(The scene fades away back to reality as Yuki sighs, and looks down at the grass. Bryan walks out of the cabin, and waves.)

Bryan: Yo!

Yuki: one thousand added.

Bryan: Really, your still mad?

Yuki: Keep talking, and I’ll keep building up your debt.

(Bryan sighs, and sits next down next to her. She scoots away a bit.)

Bryan: Listen, I looked into it, and there are requests that give a whole ton more. Plus, Jess said the more we do, the points will eventually start to “Scale up”. [Under his breath] Whatever that means…

(Yuki sighs, and looks up to him.)

Yuki: Listen, unlike you and Hitachi, I haven’t really ever fought other people. I’m not really cut out for this kind of thing...

(Yuki looks back down to the ground, upset. Bryan does the same.)

Bryan: O...Oh. Alright, I see. I guess I can’t really blame you for that. If you want to, me and Hitachi can just find someone else…

(Yuki stands up, turns around, and puts her pointer finger on Bryan’s forehead, surprising him.)

Yuki: What the hell are you talking about? If I didn’t stay, you’d never pay me back.
(Bryan lightens up.)

Bryan: Wait, you want to stay!?

Yuki: “Have to stay” and “Want to stay” are two very different things, but whichever helps you sleep better at night.

(Bryan bounces up and hugs Yuki, for a second Yuki shows surprise, but gets back into character within a few seconds.)

Yuki: G-Get off of me, you damn homewrecker!!

(Hitachi is leaning on the wall, inside, listening to the exchange. He has a warm smile, and he walks away. The next time we see Yuki and Bryan, Bryan looks as if he was punched into the ground, comedically, and Yuki is pouty on the steps. Hitachi emerges from the cottage with Korace and his blade.)

Hitachi: Alright you two, let’s hit that outpost. Can’t sit around like a couple of freeloader all day.

(Hitachi tosses Korace at Yuki, who catches it with ease. Bryan perks up and acts if nothing just happened.)

Bryan: Right! Let’s get going!

(Kuro walks up to them from off panel.)

Kuro: Hiya~!

(He startels Bryan, but the other two smile and wave to the old man. Kuro points to the north.)

Kuro: Our outpost is located that way. We don’t have too much in the way of requests in a small village, and especially these days…

(Yuki tilts her head.)

Yuki: “These days”? What do you mean Kuro?

Kuro: Well, a few weeks ago a couple of-

(Suddenly, from the far end of the village, a  loud roar of thunder and a flash of lighting can be seen striking. Bryan freaks out, Yuki and Hitachi whip around, weapons ready.)

Hitachi: What the hell was that!?

Bryan: Whoa, thunder without any storm!? I didn’t sign up for that!!

Yuki: Kuro get inside, we’ll go check it out.

(Kuro’s demeanor doesn't waver. In fact, he seems pleased.)

Kuro: Hmm… Yes, why don’t you three go and check it out?

(Kuro hops up the steps and walks into the house, Hitachi catching notice of how casual he just was. The three run over to the site of the thunder, and see a decent sized crater in the middle of a village road. Bryan goes to check it out, and as he peers into the crater, he freaks out.)

Bryan: Whoa guys! There’s like four guys down there! Come help me-

(Bryan goes to turn around, and to Yuki’s, Hitachi’s, and especially Bryan’s surprise, he suddenly has a knife in his face. He moves back, but the knife is moving quicker. Right before it makes contact, the wielder notices something, and backs off. Taro K had caught Bryan off guard, but it seems Bryan’s face had caught Taro as equally off guard. The two stare each other, awkwardly, until Taro takes a few steps back.)

Taro: Whoa- sorry about that kid, I thought you were one of those bandits.

(Bryan still looks a bit scared, but he takes another look into the crater and starts to piece together what just happened.)

Bryan: Wait, were you the one who created that thunder just now?

Taro: No, but I know who-

(From behind Yuki and Hitachi, two new figures appear and push past them. Fukagawa’s cape is flapping in the wind as he walks, one hand has his book, and the other is scratching his head. Lillian is walking close besides him, her circular blade over her shoulder.)

Fukagawa: Tch-! What the hell happened?

Yuki: Whoa…

Hitachi: Who in the…

(Taro slides his knifes away into his sleeves, and adjusts his scarf, staring at Fukagawa.)

Taro: You said that we were the only party out here. But clearly, you’ve miss calculated.

Fukagawa: I made an educated guess, so sorry about that. [Sarcasm]

(Fukagawa peers over the crater, and laughs to himself a bit. Lillian is sort of rocking in place, and Taro sighs. Yuki and Hitachi get closer as Bryan steps back a bit.)

Fukagawa: Lillian, go inform the outpost that we have a couple of criminals here.

Lillian: You got it~!

(Lillian skips past the others, towards the village.)

Bryan: Are you guys a Rookie Party?

(Fukagawa looks a bit disgusted by Bryan’s claim, and turns to face him.)

Fukagawa: Excuse me? “Rookie Party”?

(A shot of Fukagawa adjusting his glasses, with Taro adjusting his gloves is shown.)

Fukagawa: You are talking to the leader of Team Fukagawa. We are middle tier team, I’ll have you know.

Bryan: Whoa! That’s awesome!

(Bryan moves up to Fukagawa and starts to blabber on about fanboy things.)

Bryan: So, who’s your team leader? How long you been doing this? How many points do you guys have?

(Fukagawa freezes up, and then pushes Bryan away in disgust.)

Fukagawa: Weirdo! Calm down!

(Bryan laughs as the others are discussing things. Yuki and Hitachi begin talking with Taro.)

Hitachi: Sorry about our “Friend” there. Names Hitachi. [Pointing back to Yuki] And that’s Yuki.

Taro: Taro K.. It is a pleasure to meet you.

(Taro bows politely towards the two.)

Taro: Have you guys been out here long? Perhaps you live around here?

Yuki: Actually, out of my group I’m the only one familiar with the village and forest.

Taro: Hmm. I see. Well, whatever the situation is, I’m sorry if me and my team perhaps butted into your territory.

(Taro looks over at Fukagawa, who is still holding Bryan at an arm’s length away.)

Taro: That’s our leader, Reihei Fukagawa. He’s a bit of an egoist, but he means well. The girl with us earlier was Lillian Gardineer.

Hitachi: Right, well, it’s a pleasure running into people more experienced than us.

Taro: So you are another team, then? Judging by how your pal over there reacted, I’m assuming you’re just starting out.

Yuki: Yeah, honestly we started a few days ago. These two owe me for something, so we are just trying to earn money quick.

Taro: Right. Well, if you want to get money quicker, you could always-

(Suddenly, the C.R.O.Ws in Bryan and Fukagawa’s pockets go off while they are bickering at each other, they both check it simultaneously. Jess appears on both of their screens.)

Jess: Good. I was worried your C.R.O.Ws were so outdated that they couldn’t receive calls. Hurry back to the Chief's place, we must discuss something important.

(She hangs up, and the two look at each other. Fukagawa seems annoyed.)

Fukagawa: I see your also in contact with her?

Bryan: Heheh! You could say that.

(Fukagawa presses a few buttons on the C.R.O.W and calls Lillian as he motions for Taro. He speaks as the two walk away.)

Fukagawa: That woman in black wants a word with us, hurry back. And don’t stop to shop around like last time…

(Yuki and Hitachi go over to Bryan.)

Yuki: You ok, Bryan?

Bryan: Yeah, that scarf kid didn’t actually cut me or anything. I didn’t know there was another team in this village.

Hitachi: Judging by how they spoke, they don’t seem to be from around here, either. You just got a call from Jess, right? Let’s start heading back.

(The scene switches to the cottage from before, and now the three have their jackets back on. Fukagawa’s group is also there. They are all standing on one end of the table, while Jess is on the other. Jess seems frustrated.)

Jess: This is the fifth time since your arrival, Team Fukagawa, that you’ve caused substantial damage to our village.

(Yuki nudges Bryan sharply in the side.)

Yuki: [Under her breath] Remind you of anyone?

(Bryan seems embarrassed but smiles. Jess continues.)

Jess: And everytime you create a wreck in the village, it’s technically my job to clean it up.

(Fukagawa and his team seem a bit embarrassed with themselves.)

Jess: As you can imagine, this becomes rather stressful. So, I’ve come up with an idea that may benefit both of your troops.

(Jess lays down a file on the table. Confidential is plastered on the front.)

Jess: I am sending the both of you on a joint mission. I’ve actually already signed you up.

(All six kids seem surprised by this.)

Fukagawa: What? Wait, you want us to work with complete newbies like them!?

(Hitachi seems annoyed by his remark.)

Jess: The job is in Toaru, you’ll be looking into some recent events near Gilman street, recent gangster activity. It will be dangerous, so you’ll need to watch each others backs. Look at it this way. You want higher rated jobs, Fukagawa, and they need experience and points. By working together on this, each team will receive 1000 points, so it works in both of your favors.

(The surprise intensifies.)

Yuki: 1000 points!?

Hitachi: That’s… that’s definitely a big jump from what we just did.

Taro: Hey, Fukagawa.

(Fukagawa is still annoyed.)

Fukagawa: What is it?

Taro: We haven't done a joint operation before, either. The further we climb, the more common this will be. This benefits us as much as it benefits them.

Lillian: Plus, we get to meet new people! It sounds like fun, if you ask me.

(Fukagawa’s eye twitches, and then he motions for his team to meet him outside. Yuki’s group moves to follow them, Jess stops them.)

Jess: Actually, I have a bit more for you three.

(They turn to face her.)

Jess: There's a few things you should know, that you clearly don’t. First of all, whenever you complete a task, you can set a marker on the C.R.O.W for a cleanup crew to arrive and award your points.

Yuki: So we could have avoided them getting away…

Jess: If you mean the first time you caught them, then yes, exactly. From what you told me last night, your all walking blindly into this. I suggest once you get to Toaru, you settle into a hotel room or something, and knock out a handful of requests there. Make a name for yourselves. It’s not uncommon for popular teams to receive private requests.

Hitachi: Right, I think that’s a good idea as well. It’s not like we have a place to stay otherwise.

(They all wave goodbye, and exit the building, Jess watching as they leave. When Yuki’s team steps out side, they are greeted with Fukagawa’s team making a dash for the woods.)

Yuki: What the-!?

(Fukagawa turns around, pulling his eyelid down and sticking his tongue out. Taro seems annoyed, and Lillian seems to just enjoy running.)

Fukagawa: 1000 points is a lot, but 2000 is even more! Why split it when we can take it for ourselves!

Hitachi: You little *censored*!!

(The three chase after them, and from the doorway they eventually fade out of view, running into the woods towards Toaru. Jess is in the doorway, when Kuro laughs from inside [He was in another room] )

Kuro: Definitely a rowdy bunch, these rookies.

Jess: Well, I’m just glad we got rid of them. They were too noisy.

(Jess walks back in, adjusting her suit.)

Jess: These kids need to realise that rookies grow up. This kind of work is going to become more dangerous and more rigorous. They can’t keep being so unprofessional.

Kuro: You were a rookie once, weren't you?

Jess: Yes, but I’m a senior now. I’ve grown far beyond that point.

Kuro: Oh really? Three.

Jess: H-Huh? Excuse me sir?

Kuro: Well, rookie, you’ve made three mistakes now. I remember you saying your record was two.

(Jess seems suddenly extremely embarrassed and flustered.)

Jess: What… are you talking about, sir?

(Kuro points to the file on the table.)

Kuro: They never opened it. They only know that their job is in Toaru, on Gilman street.

(Jess face seems terrified, as she just sent six kids away without their information.)

Jess: C...crap….

(Jess grabs the file and runs after the kids, Kuro watching from the doorframe.)

Kuro: It’s a great day for some exercise, I’d say. Wonder if she can catch up?

(The chapter ends with a view of Jess running, with the file hugged to her chest.)


Chapter 6


Chapter 6 “ A Request “ Start

(The chapter opens with a shot of the wilderness, from a top down point of view, and then the three, Yuki, Bryan, and HItachi, lost in the woods. They are all standing around, attempting to catch their breath after chasing Fukagawa’s team. Bryan is sitting against a tree, Hitachi pushing against one with his head hung down, and Yuki is bent forward, gasping for air.)

Yuki: D- Damn it… did you guys see where they went?

(Hitachi shakes his head in defeat, and Bryan doesn't respond.)

Yuki: This blows.

(Yuki sits down, setting her sword by her side. Hitachi does the same, and Bryan undoes his headband and messes with his hair in frustration.)

Bryan: Darn! Their going to beat us at this rate!!

Hitachi: Well, maybe we can find a shortcut? Bryan, do you know any?

(Bryan shakes his head no.)

Bryan: I don’t even know the way back to Toaru from here normally, if I’m going to be honest.

Yuki: Why does nothing you say surprise me anymore?

(Hitachi sighs, and then tries to think of a plan.)

Hitachi: The one in the cape, Fukagawa. He was using the C.R.O.W like some sort of compass or map. Bryan, can the C.R.O.W do something like track a destination?

(Bryan pulls his C.R.O.W out, and ponders the possibility.)

Bryan: Well, I think so. But I’m not really sure of how to set it to do that…

(Yuki facepalms.)

Yuki: (This kid is useless!)

(Bryan laughs a bit in embarrassment, and Hitachi seems annoyed.)

Hitachi: Man, we really are a train wreck of a team, huh?

Yuki: You got that right.

(Suddenly, the C.R.O.W buzzes.)

Bryan: W-Whoa!

Hitachi: What is it?

Bryan: I… don’t know. It’s never done that before.

Yuki: Does it say anything?

(Bryan looks down at the C.R.O.W to see the words “URGENT” scrolling across the screen. Then, a request is pinged to the main menu, reading “Open?” underneath it.)

Bryan: An “Urgent Request”? I’ve never heard of that… Why would rookies like us even receive something like this?

Hitachi: Isn’t it supposed to ping everyone closest to the request? Aren't we in the middle of nowhere?

Yuki: Instead of asking questions, let’s investigate the area.

(Yuki smirks as she gets ready to head off.)

Yuki: Maybe someone from the village got raided by thugs or something. A little bit of extra cash wouldn’t hurt.

Hitachi: Good point. [Under his breath] Besides that last bit...

Hitachi: Alright team, let’s split up.

Bryan: How will we get in touch with each other? You two don’t have C.R.O.Ws…

Hitachi: Hmmm… well, If we need each other, just scream “Crow!”, real loud. The request can’t be far, so if we’re loud enough, we should all be able to hear it, no matter where we are.

(Yuki and Bryan look at each other, then back at Hitachi.)

Yuki: That seems really dumb and dangerous. What if it is thugs? Wouldn’t shouting only give us away?

Hitachi: Just get far enough away from them so that we have time to get to you. Just don’t get yourself caught.

(Hitachi looks at Bryan.)

Hitachi: Don’t. Get. Caught.

(Bryan makes a pouty face.)

Bryan: Jeez, I get it. Stupid face.

(The three split up, and a quick montage passes of the three searching the forest on their own. Bryan tries to climb trees for a good view, but sees nothing. Hitachi attempts to call out to people, but no one answers. Yuki, the last one shown, is walking through the woods, sort of wandering without any real direction.)

Yuki: This was really, really stupid. We shouldn’t be split up like this if the C.R.O.W is warning us it’s “Urgent”. What do you think, master?

Korace: You have a point, but I don’t sense any real danger around. Perhaps the device malfunctioned?

Yuki: You can “Sense” danger?

Korace: Not really, just my… intuition, I suppose.

Yuki: Right….

Korace: I’ve seen many a battlefield. If there is trouble, one gets this sort of, “gut feeling”, if that makes any sense.

Yuki: I mean, I don’t know how a sword can have a “gut feeling”, but whatever you say.

Korace: Don’t sass me, young lady.

Yuki: Y-Yes, master…

(Yuki keeps walking a bit further, until Korace speaks again.)

Korace: Wait...

(Yuki stops, looks down at Korace.)

Yuki: What is it?

Korace: The left. Go to the left.

(Yuki looks forward, and notices the path she is following only hooks right.)

Yuki: You sure you didn’t break your “senses”? Maybe your just getting a bad signal?

Korace: What did I just say about sass?

Yuki: Ugh, fine. But If I get pricked by some thorns or something trying to go through these bushes, it’s on you.

(Yuki pushes through the bushes, struggling to squeeze through tight trees and branches as she heads deeper into the woods. Eventually, she trips, and falls into a small clearing. In the center of the small clearing is a small, wooden cabin. There are no paths leading out of the clearing. Yuki looks up after falling, and is surprised and chilled.)

Yuki: What the…

Korace: Keep your guard up. This place seems… off.

Yuki: Yeah, I’d say any creepy old house in the woods would seem “off”...

(Yuki gets up, dusting herself off but not taking her eyes off of the cabin. She slowly edges closer, her hand on Korace’s handle, ready to draw her if necessary. As Yuki approaches, she notices a tall, lanky silhouette in one of the cabin windows. Yuki gets chills down her spine [visible to the reader] and she freezes.)

Yuki: Do… do you see that?

Korace: See what? I don’t exactly have eyes, Yuki.

Yuki: Well, do you sense it? Someone is in there…

(The tall figure seems to be staring back, and then it slides out of view. Yuki stands her ground. And after a few silent, tense moments, the cabin door begins to creek open.)

Korace: Yuki! You need to fall back and call the others, this could be danger-

(As the door swings open fully, a small child, a young girl no older than six years old, with long, brown wavy hair, wearing a shirt a little to large for her, is revealed staring at Yuki. The girl seems curious, and after a second tilts her head as if she is confused. Yuki releases her grip on Korace, and stares back in a similar manner.)

???: May! Get back! What did I tell you about-

(A much older voice can be heard from inside the cabin, and a tall, lanky man, in his mid 30’s, stumbles over to shield the little girl from the door. He looks at the girl, and then up at Yuki.)

???: What? Hey, are you…?

(The man now leaves the girl behind at the doorway, and stumbles outside. He is wearing an old, worn out sweater vest, and dress pants. He has a bit of a beard growing, and short, brown hair. Yuki takes a step back as the man approaches.)

???: You wouldn’t happen to be… from a Party, would you?

(Yuki gulps, and then, while looking back at the girl, responds.)

Yuki: Um…  Yeah, you could say that. Why, do you-

(The man, a foot or two away from Yuki now, suddenly drops to his knees in front of her, and slams his head into the dirt, bowing to her. Yuki seems shocked, and the little girl winces, as if she thinks the man might have hurt his head.)

???: Please!!! I Beg you!!! Help my daughter!!!

(Yuki seems taken aback, not sure how to handle the situation. The man grips at the grass and dirt, on the verge of tears.)

???: My darling has been suffering from a rare illness, and I can’t find the herbs to treat her anywhere near here! She isn’t fit enough to travel to the city anymore, and I’ve just run out of my last few spares! I can’t leave her here alone, I’m all she has, so please, help us!

(Yuki, shocked at first, bends down and pats the man on the back.)

Yuki: It’s… ok sir. I’ll help.

(The man lifts his head, a bruise already forming where his head made impact with the ground. Tears fall as he stares into Yuki’s eyes.)

???: R-really? You’d do that? I can’t pay much, and I don’t have much to offer in return, but I’d be forever in your debt if-

(Yuki gets up, and the man pauses, scared she might leave.)

???: Wait, please, don’t go! I’ll do anything! I can’t bear to see my daughter like this, I need your-

(Yuki looks down at the man, annoyed.)

Yuki: I already said I’d help, so stop worrying about it. I don’t care about any rewards. Wait here a sec, I’ll call my team.

(The man, still crying, sits up, as his daughter wobbles over, weakly, to comfort him. Yuki walks a few feet away, towards the surrounding woods, and shouts at the top of her lungs.)

Yuki: CROW!!!!!

(There is silence. Yuki looks towards the woods, as the man and his daughter looked stunned, but also in awe. Yuki turns to them.)

Yuki: They’ll be here soon. I suggest you take her inside, we can discuss the details when they get here.

(The man, still awe struck, nods, picks himself up, as well as his daughter, and walks into the cabin, leaving the door open to Yuki. Yuki stays behind for a bit.)

Korace: Yuki…


Korace: This… this is very grown up of you… I’m proud.

(Yuki stares down at the ground, her hair covering her eyes, her eyes are not visible to the reader.)

Yuki: That girl… she reminds me of myself.

(Korace doesn't respond. There is silence.)

Yuki: I have a illness like that too, you know.

Korace: Yuki, it’s not an-

(Yuki snaps, her upper face shaded out.)

Yuki: Yes, it is!

(Another long silence. Yuki then whispers the words to herself again. She lightly traces over her eye patch with her free hand, pushing away her hair as she does.)

Yuki: It is an illness. One I can’t cure…

Korace: .... You should go inside and speak with that man. Go and see if he needs help with anything while you wait for the others.

Yuki: I planned on it…

(Yuki takes a second to readjust herself, and then enters the cabin. She clears her throat as she walks in. The cabin is small, and for the most part baren as far as furniture goes. A desk full of notes and books is noticeable in the corner of the room, and the father is sitting at a table, in what seems to be their dining room or kitchen.)

Yuki: So, what’s your name sir?

(The man looks up, his face still a bit dusty and red. He nods towards Yuki politely, and offers her a seat at his table. Yuki walks over to sit as he responds.)

???: My friends used to call me Higs, back in the day.

Yuki: Right, well I’m Yuki. And your daughter’s name was May, if I heard that right?

Higs: Yes, that would be correct. I can’t stress to yourself how grateful we are for your kindness.

Yuki: What are you two doing all the way out here on your own? Why don’t you move in with the villagers a few miles from here?

(Higs sighs, pressing his hands together, and leans over the table.)

Higs: My wife used to love this old cabin. We live here to honor her memory, though I guess that does sound a bit ridiculous.

Yuki: I don’t think it’s ridiculous at all, it’s honorable that you’d even consider that. Your wife, did she…

Higs: She passed away four years ago now. She died of the same illness our daughter is suffering through…
(Yuki looks down at the table, not knowing what to say.)

Yuki: I’m… sorry about that.

Higs: Don’t worry about it, It’s been a long time since. We’ve moved on. We may not have much, but we live happily here, and that’s all that really matters to us.

(Suddenly, from outside, shouting can be heard.)

Bryan: Hey!!! Yuki!!! You here!?

(Yuki cracks a bit of a smile, and then sighs.)

Yuki: That’s one of my friends. Hold on a moment.

(Yuki gets up and walks out of view. The scene stays with Higs as the conversation between Yuki and Bryan plays out. Their interactions aren't visible, just Higs reactions to them.)

Bryan: Hey! Yuki! Man, I got scared *censored*less when you screamed like that, good to see your all in one piece, hahaha-

(A loud crash is heard, and Higs seems startled and concerned.)

Yuki: Shut up, you dumbass! There’s a kid in there, watch your mouth!

(The scene then shows Yuki and Bryan sitting at the table, Bryan with a lump on his head. Yuki seems annoyed with him.)

Bryan: [Under his breath] You know, you said a bad word too…

Yuki: Bryan, this is Higs. He asked us to help him out.

Bryan: Um, ok, with what?

Higs: Well, I’ve run low on-

(Suddenly, the C.R.O.W Bryan has goes off again, and the screen reads “URGENT” again.)

Bryan: Man, what is with this thing?

Higs: Oh, I’m so glad!

(Bryan and Yuki looks at Higs confused.)

Higs: My C.R.O.W model is outdated, I was worried sending a request out wouldn’t work, but I’m so glad it did!

Yuki: Oh, I see. That would make sense.

(Bryan seems a bit lost.)

Bryan: Wait, he’s the request?

Yuki: Yeah, why?

Bryan: Well, that’s cool and all, but we can’t accept two requests at once. That preppy lady already signed us up for one, so we have to do it before we accept this one.

(Higs seems disheartened, and Yuki turns away, annoyed.)

Yuki: I don’t give a damn about any requests right now. Our first priority is helping these people out.

(Bryan seems stunned by Yuki’s reaction.)

Bryan: Whoa… Really?

Yuki: Yes, is there a problem with that?

Bryan: N-No! I just wasn’t expecting it, that's all! Also… did you say these people?

Yuki: Yeah, his daughter is over there.

(Yuki points over to another room, the girl’s bedroom. The door to it is open, but no response is heard or seen from it.)

Yuki: Um… is May ok?

Higs: She’s probably resting. She can’t really stand very well, her running over to me earlier probably did her in. I’ll go check on her.

(Higs gets up to go and see May, as Bryan and Yuki talk.)

Bryan: Alright, so let’s get this clear. We need to help this man find medicine plants for his daughter? Seems simple enough, I’m down to help!

Yuki: Why did you refer to herbs as “Medicine plants”...? Anyways, yeah, that's the gist of it.

Bryan: Actually, believe it or not, but I’m a pro at this sort of thing! I help the Doc gather stuff like that all the time back home, so leave it to me!

Yuki: The “Doc”? Who’s that-

(Higs comes running back from May’s room, flustered and horrified.)

Higs: Yuki, it’s May!

(Yuki and Bryan turn to Higs, as he panics.)

Higs: She's not in her room!

Yuki: What?

Bryan: Uh oh…

Higs: Her window was wide open... Do you think… she left the house…?

Yuki: It’s possible, if what you said is true, she couldn’t have gotten far. Bryan, common! We need to find her, and quick! She can’t handle being on her own for long!

Bryan: Right!

(The three run out of the cabin, screaming for May. The scene switches to another part of the woods, Hitachi is seen roaming around, yawning. )

Hitachi: Man, they were right. That plan was really dumb. I can’t even pinpoint where Yuki shouted from… Damn, I hope she’s ok…

(As Hitachi walks, he stops and looks up towards the trees. A little white cloud can be seen floating by. Hitachi seems confused.)

Hitachi: What in the… I really should get more sleep…

(As he rubs his eyes, he notices that a little girl, May, is riding on top, trembling, with a determined look on her face.)

Hitachi: … Huh? Is that… a kid?


« Last Edit: March 22, 2019, 04:03:28 PM by PichuDX »

Offline Action Animation

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2019, 11:43:12 PM »
don't hold back on him MR, give him your best^^

reviews and critiques are the only way we can improve^^

i look forward to a new reviewer with a fresh perspective^^

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2019, 08:21:27 AM »
Chapter 6 is posted on the Vol 1 continued post!

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Re: Dragon Universe [Reworked]
« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2019, 04:02:47 PM »
[ Vol 1 Continued (Again :D) ]

Chapter 7 *NEW*


Chapter 7 “Field of White” Start

( The chapter opens on Yuki, Bryan, and Higs, frantically searching deep in the woods for May. They are together, but are searching in different corners and bushes, calling her name. Bryan stops for a second, catching his breath.)

Bryan: I thought you said she could barely walk, how in the hell did she get this far out?

Higs: I’m not sure… I hope she’s not much further, if she keeps going, she might collapse!

Yuki: lets keep our hopes up that she hasn’t already…

(Higs notices an indent on the side of the path, traveling along the side. It is as if someone took a really wide stick, and drawn a line along the path. It doesn't seem to stop anywhere nearby, and it leads deeper into the woods.)

Higs: What… the?

(The other two look over and notice the line as well.)

Bryan: Um… that’s odd. Maybe it was the neighbors?

Yuki: Bryan, we are god knows how many miles away from the village at this point, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t anyone else that would choose to live out here in the middle of nowhere.

Bryan: Yeah but… don’t you live out here?

Yuki: Shut up.

Higs: I… I’ve never seen tracks like this before. It’s probably not an animal, at least not a local one…

Yuki: Let’s follow it, maybe May followed it too?

(Bryan thinks to himself as the follow the line.)

Bryan: None of this really makes sense. Does May usually run off like this?

Higs: She's never done anything like this before… just thinking about where she might be right now is making my heart skip a beat.

Yuki: Maybe Bryan’s loud mouth scared her off, and she’s hiding in a bush or something.

Bryan: I’m… not that loud…

(Before the scene switches, the three continue to follow the line deeper into the woods, still on the lookout for May. Meanwhile, the first shot shown of Hitachi is his sword, making a line in the dirt. He is dragging it silently behind him as he cautiously follows behind the girl on the cloud, May. He is a few feet behind her, and he has his eyes locked on her. He looks back for a quick second, down at his line.)

Hitachi: (I don’t know where this girl is going, but she might be related to that request Bryan got.)

(He looks back up towards the girl. Her expression hasn’t changed, still determined, as if she has only one goal in mind.)

Hitachi: (She’s been at it for awhile now… this trail should lead me back to where I was, maybe Yuki and Bryan will find it. I hope it doesn't bring any unwanted company, though… I wish I had thought of the practicality of this, but I didn’t want to lose her.)

(Suddenly, the girl and cloud stops.  Hitachi comes to a halt, and moves behind a nearby tree, casually. The girl seems disturbed, and then roughly coughs. Hitachi doesn't expect this, and notices that when May coughs, her cloud fades in and out.)

Hitachi: ….

(The girl takes a deep breath, and pushes on forward. Hitachi continues to follow.)

Hitachi: (She's sick… that would explain her trembling. But why did the cloud just… wait...)

(Hitachi looks to his sword, and then at the cloud.)

Hitachi: (I see. That would explain it. But for the cloud to act like that… she must be in a very unstable condition.)

(Again, the girl coughs, but it seems to catch her off guard, and the cloud comes to a sudden halt. Hitachi doesn't have time to hide, and as the girl coughs, the cloud starts to flicker in and out again. The cloud then fades out completely, to the girl’s surprise, and she starts to fall. She smacks onto the path with a light thud, due to her small nature, but the fall nonetheless clearly hurt her.)

Hitachi: H- Hey!

(The girl doesn't stop coughing, and Hitachi drops his sword in a panic and rushes over. He gets on one knee, and leans over the girl, observing to see if she maybe cut or bruised herself. She opens one eye, as the coughs were so brutal that she could barely see, and notices Hitachi. She does not panic though, instead, through the coughing, tries to talk with Hitachi.)

May: P… Please *cough*

Hitachi: What’s wrong, can you move?

May: I… I need to get to... *cough*

Hitachi: Stop talking. Just concentrate on trying to breath.

(Hitachi place his hand on her forehead, and his alarm only deepens.)

Hitachi: (Holy *censored*… this girl is beyond a fever right now!)

(The girl weakly lifts her hand, and points down the path, in the direction the two were heading in.)

May: T- There. I need to… *cough*

Hitachi: Just be quiet! You need to see a doctor, or somebody!

(Hitachi looks towards the path, and back down at her.)

Hitachi: I don’t know my way around this forrest, do you?

(May nods, weakly.)

Hitachi: Then here.

(Hitachi grabs May, and places her on his back. May holds on as tightly as she can, and Hitachi supports her with his left arm.)

Hitachi: (She's really light too… I don’t know if its because of my Talent or if she just weighs nothing…)

(Hitachi looks over to his sword, and then turns and begins walking down the path again with May.)

Hitachi: (I can come back for it later. Right now, this girl needs serious help. I should probably hurry up, but I don’t want to hurt her while I’m running…)

(The two continue to walk further into the forest. The scene switches  back to Yuki, Bryan, and Higs, who are still following the line.)

Bryan: So, she has a rare illness… what is it?

Higs: Polymyositis… That’s what her mother had as well.

Yuki: Poly… what now?

Bryan: Polymyositis. It causes the person's muscles to inflame, basically they get all weak until the person can’t move anymore.

(Yuki looks at Bryan confused.)

Yuki: How… do you even know that?

Higs: Your right, it can also cause a shortness of breath, fatigue, and sometimes it can even mess with her heart. That’s why I’m so scared… If something happens, anything that can cause her to panic, she may not be able to calm back down…

Yuki: Right…

(Yuki looks over at Bryan, perplexed that he knew what the disease was.)

Bryan: Then we really do need to hurry… huh?

(Bryan stops, and the others follow his lead. Yuki looks towards where Bryan is looking, and notices Hitachi’s sword on the ground.)

Yuki: Isn’t that…

(Bryan and Yuki run over, and Higs follows. Bryan bends down to look over the sword.)

Bryan: Yeah… I think this is Hitachi’s…

Yuki: Do you think he’s ok?

Bryan: I don’t know… why would he leave his sword behind?

(Heavy breathing can be heard from behind the two, and Yuki turns to see Higs, mortified.)

Higs: Oh no… theres someone else with something like that out here?! If May sees that… she’d… oh my god…

Yuki: Higs! Hey, calm down! Hitachi wouldn’t hurt her, or anything like that, right Bryan?

(Yuki turns to Bryan, but is shocked to see Bryan not exactly sure himself.)

Bryan: I… I don’t know. He seems nice, but he was with the band of thugs before… I don’t think he’d hurt May, but even if he startled her…

(Yuki is also panicking now.)

Yuki: We need to hurry. Quick, lets keep going.

(Bryan goes to lift up Hitachi’s sword, and is in shock.)

Bryan: Oh… oh my god…

Yuki: What is it now!?

(The mood of the scene changes drastically. Yuki and Higs looks dumbfounded and annoyed at Bryan as he tries to lift Hitachi’s sword, but can’t.)

Bryan: Why the hell is this so heavy!?

Yuki: We… don’t have time for this…

(The scene switches back over to Hitachi and May. The two have made good progress, but Hitachi looks worried. May is resting her head on Hitachi’s, and the two are walking until the path suddenly fades out, leaving the grass and trees in front of them.)

Hitachi: Did we take a wrong turn somewhere?

(Hitachi looks back at May, who says nothing. He starts to turn back to look for another road, but then May points to the trees.)

Hitachi: What? Are you sure?

(May nods, weakly.)

Hitachi: ....

(Hitachi looks towards the trees, hesitating.)

Hitachi: If we go through there… it’s going to be impossible to find our way out. I really think we should turn back and-

May: Please… It’s there… trust me…

Hitachi: (“It’s”... ?)

(Hitachi takes a deep breath, and pushes forward, cautiously, through the trees. He pushes branches and fauna out of his and May’s way as they walk, and eventually, the thick forest suddenly thins out, and leads to a wide open clearing. As they approach, Hitachi is blinded for a moment by the sudden light from the clearing, shielding his eyes with his free hand. Then, as he finally gains his vision back, he sees a wide, open field, filled with whitish flowers, atop rolling hills. The sudden change of scenery stuns Hitachi.)

May: This... is it.

(As Hitachi is stunned, the cloud from before whirls into form in front of him, and May climbs on top, weakly.)

Hitachi: H-Hey! Kid, we don’t really have time for-

May: My… dad. He really… likes these flowers. He used to… give them to mommy and… now he gives them… to me...

(Hitachi stops, and stares at her. May turns, and floats over to a spot in the field, and gently floats down. She then proceeds to attempt to pick flowers. As she tries, her body trembles, as if picking them was too much work for her to handle.)

Hitachi: … I think I get it.

(Hitachi walks over to where May floated to, and bends down to help her. The two begin to pick flowers together. After awhile, the scene switches back to the other three, frantically running down the path.)

Higs: May!!! May, where are you?!

Yuki: Hey, come on out!!

Bryan: (Damn it… at this rate… we could have missed her back along the path already…)

(The three make it to the part where the path ends, and they stop to catch their breath.)

Bryan: This… is pointless! She could have already gone back to the house, maybe she went to grab a stick to play with or something?

Yuki: Shut up!

Higs: Wait…

(Higs moves close to the trees, stepping ahead of the other two.)

Higs: Did she…

Yuki: What is it?

Higs: This… this leads to where we can find the herbs… you don’t think she…

Bryan: She left to find them herself!?

(Higs runs ahead into the trees, and, after Bryan and Yuki exchange a concerned look, follow suit. The scene switches back to Hitachi and May, when Hitachi hears a sound coming from the forest. May looks over, and Hitachi notices.)

Hitachi: Hey, kid… Did you hear that?

(May nods, and moves closer to Hitachi. Hitachi gets up and steps in front of May, facing the sound.)

Hitachi: Who’s there?

(Nothing happens at first, just the two staring towards the sound. Then, out of nowhere, Taro is flung through the sky, from the forest, towards the field. He is bloody and beaten, as if he was just fighting. He is barely conscious. He lands a few feet from Hitachi and May, with a loud thud. May doesn't get up, but she huddles near Hitachi’s leg, mortified.)

Hitachi: What the hell!?

(Hitachi’s eyes widen.)

Hitachi: Isn’t that…!

(A flashback to when Taro introduced himself and his team to Yuki and Hitachi is shown. After the quick flash, Taro is shown, barely breathing. He is cut up, and his shirt is torn up. Hitachi looks towards where he came from, and notices a white fog being emitted from a small part of the forest.)

Hitachi: Who else is there!? Show yourself!

(From the direction in which Taro came, a tall man, dark grey hair, in his mid 30’s, with a dirty t shirt and dark jeans emerges from the forest. The man is wearing a strange mask over his mouth, it has small tubes running from the sides that tie around his neck, and down his shirt. His eyes seem sunken, with bags underneath. Smoke seems to be coming from under the mask, it is being emitted around the man, and is falling to the floor. He looks at Taro, and then towards Hitachi and May.)

???: More rats? How big is this rookie party anyways…?

(Hitachi braces himself, and attempts to reach for his sword. He then realizes he doesn't have it anymore.)

Hitachi: S-*censored*! You’ve got to be kidding me! Kid, we need to-

(Hitachi looks down at May, who is breathing heavily. She seems to be barely awake, and she is focusing on her breathing.)

Hitachi: What… the hell?! Now, of all times!?

(Hitachi looks to the man, and seems to be in a panic. From the sidelines, in another part of the forest, close to the clearing, Higs can be seen in an equal panic, trying to rush out to help his daughter as he is being held down by Bryan and Yuki, who are also scared. Bryan is also covering Hig’s mouth. They saw what just happened, and are making sure Hig’s doesn't draw attention to themselves. Hitachi stares the man down, a shot of both of them staring at each other from across the field is shown, and then a close up of each.)

???: Listen… I’m going to have to ask you five to get the hell out of here. This is our turf.

Hitachi: (“You five”?)

(The man takes a step, and as he does, some of his smoke falls to the ground, and touches some of the flowers. The flowers suddenly wilt and dry out, as if something in the smoke is poisoning them. The chapter closes with the man’s face in full view, staring at the reader.)

???: If you won’t listen, I’ll have to make you leave by force. And I don’t think you’ll be fond of how I do that.