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Author Topic: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far  (Read 388 times)

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Offline ;w; Andou

  • Andou Keitohno
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Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« on: July 18, 2018, 11:25:33 PM »
If anyone would like to help out and collab with my writing I would be happy
if you so join my website in order to update my wikia page and plan out a really good story..

I'm into great art style and stories like gantz for example
I would like to relate it like this story to be like a certain magical index, yu yu hakusho, hunter x hunter, fate / stay night unlimited blade works, saint seiya, gantz, beelzebub, bleach, the law of ueki, magi, UQ Holder, One piece, Jet Set Radio Future, Kingdom, Trails of Cold steel, tokyo underground and zatch bell.

I hope we could interact more

I'm wanting to put like folklore mythical stuff, demons, war, magic, espers, enemies, tournaments, drama, goals, mythology, stuff etc..

The summary of the story starts like this
There are 12 landlords of 5 unknown mythical islands. This is located at Tokyo Japan, Greece, Seda (Sertar) in Kham Tibet, the desert of Pakistan, and Kathmandu Valley in Nepal. 2 brothers get involved with magic. They become the demon contractor one with ice and one with fire. These creatures are the last of its kind. The blue one provides Holy magic but is too weak to use it so Andou tries to learn it. The Red one provides Horror magic and is too strong so Irugin tries to learn it in a different pace. 2 brothers become fugitives of many powerful magic organizations. They are after Andou Golden Letter and Irugin’s. These Golden Letters provide secret maps to various places and events. These espers are hunters.  One day when encountering the good news Andou becomes approved to St. Taurus and Irugin walks his own path to become a weapon collector and a strong Sorcerer. In FRSC Island there are schools named after Astrology. They are horoscope school regions. Andou takes his time researching about them and eventually get’s recruited into Class Vessel a team that develops a one man army of espers. These individuals overcome the danger that circles around them. Andou becomes a chosen candidate of the structured calendar, when defeating the challenges of the structured calendar. He and his friends unlock the rest of FRSC Island region. Andou starts off having the power to levitate items with his eyes and learns more about his esper powers from the sesame creatures, outsourcing, warrior feats, battles, war, magic side of religion, and life time experience. Later on him, some people from the horoscope schools regions and outsiders team up to prepare for more horrific adventures. This relates of taking care of evil beings that could possibly take over the planet.

Please message me about the links I can't post it here I need 25 posts

Andou Keitohno


Terrance the Alien Yeti


I sometimes don't understand my story and the point of it I just would like to make it like hunter x hunter and attack on titan in a way!!

Anybody there to reply!!
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Abilities_and_Powers
I need some writers to help me set this up to be more anime wikia related
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Andou_Keitohno
Goals ~ mangaka youtuber and anime cartoonist and a really great job

Offline Vikings1428

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2018, 04:06:26 AM »
I really like your art and your summary was kinda cool but it sounds a bit hectic and all over the place in the summary. and your characters don't sound very appealing to a reader. you should work more on the characters and give them more depth like why does your character want to do magic and you shouldn't give too much of the exposition when giving a summary.  a summary is supposed to give the person who's reading it a small glimpse of the story but simple and enough for the reader to want to read the story.  and just get your posts up to 25 by responding to other posts within the forum which doesn't take that long. I could help you though if you need it?  :thumbsup:

Offline MK

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2018, 09:20:33 AM »
You mention all these animes that you would like it to be like but those are all very different in their own sense.  HxH is about nen users fighting each other while AoT is titans trying to kill humanity who can only fight with physical weapons (later on fighting with titans as well).

I generally don't think summaries are the best thing to judge a series because it's more about the journey than the idea.  From what I read it seems like you have the story setting and an idea of what the powers are going to be but you don't really mention much about the antagonists or the hook.  The hook is one of the most important things because most people will decide to read the series based on the first few chapters.  You want to get people interested with the character and/or the plot.

Once people are invested into your story then you can start to explain more about the powers and the protagonist's backstory.  While the main character is important, the conflicts and how they are resolved is what really makes readers love your story.  The conflicts don't have to be enemies but since you are thinking of a story revolving around battles then you want to have an interesting villian and their agendas (like Hisoka from HxH and how he goes between trying to kill Gon or helping him but for his own benefit).  Please note that it doesn't have to be in this order but you do want to touch on all these topics at some point.

Again, this is based on what you have here but I'll put out some questions for you to think about when writing.  You don't have to answer them as a post but just in your mind.
Spoiler
Do the beginning chapters get people interested in the characters and/or the plot?

What weaknesses do your character have and how do they overcome them?

Do the actions of the main character affect the way they think?

What purpose do the antagonists have?  Are they just there because they are bad or do they have some kind of reasoning/plan?

Is there an end goal for the main character?

Offline ;w; Andou

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2018, 11:27:30 AM »
Ok I'll message you 2 and send you my word document
I'll try to make it a fine story with your guy's help

Yeah I'm trying to figure out the end goal
« Last Edit: July 20, 2018, 11:31:21 AM by ;w; Andou »
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Abilities_and_Powers
I need some writers to help me set this up to be more anime wikia related
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Andou_Keitohno
Goals ~ mangaka youtuber and anime cartoonist and a really great job

Offline Vikings1428

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2018, 12:19:04 PM »
Awesome.

Offline ;w; Andou

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2018, 10:56:07 PM »
Did you get my private message you guys.

oh after your done reading post your thoughts in this thread please!!
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Abilities_and_Powers
I need some writers to help me set this up to be more anime wikia related
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Andou_Keitohno
Goals ~ mangaka youtuber and anime cartoonist and a really great job

Offline Vikings1428

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2018, 11:39:52 PM »
K I wanna help because the deatails for the story and the abilities you made were interesting but Andou has no depth on his character and no plot and the doc has too much information so early on. This can overwhelm a reader easily also it would be easier and more awesome if you didn't use the real world and have your own world for this story but thats just my opinion. Do you have a discord?

Offline ;w; Andou

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2018, 12:24:24 AM »
Yeah I have discord

https://discord.gg/6et2ReZ group chat

evand498#3676 me

yeah what do you have in mind like what kind of world

I kinda like real world/main characters crossing over to of 5 unknown mythical islands

to fight for what??
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Abilities_and_Powers
I need some writers to help me set this up to be more anime wikia related
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Andou_Keitohno
Goals ~ mangaka youtuber and anime cartoonist and a really great job

Offline Vikings1428

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2018, 12:50:53 AM »
where should i post in your discord chat??
nvm i'll just dm you there
just accept the inv i sent you to an empty chat lol
« Last Edit: July 21, 2018, 12:56:34 AM by Vikings1428 »

Offline ;w; Andou

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Re: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2018, 07:08:34 PM »
OK I shorten the special moves of my character a bit, just so you know when he transforms into Arch Kokutou he is a bit powerful I am planning out ideas.

and yeah just so you guys know I have summer vacation homework and classes
I'm gonna be available a bit later in August.

I gotta take that exam and pass..

I am open to anyone who wants to help me in this thread about: Water Kahn Beta manga writing 1-2 chapters so far
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Abilities_and_Powers
I need some writers to help me set this up to be more anime wikia related
https://waterkahnbeta.wikia.com/wiki/Andou_Keitohno
Goals ~ mangaka youtuber and anime cartoonist and a really great job