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Author Topic: Insólito  (Read 100 times)

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Offline Weak

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Insólito
« on: June 01, 2018, 02:34:30 AM »
Oh man, im sorry i'm just to nervous. This is the first thing i show some of my stories to anyone, and oh my, i feel ashamed haha.

Okay, First of all i have to apologize, for what? for my english, i am not a fluent speaker, and of course i have some problem translating this. i could just ask someone good in english to help me and everything but... well i cant do that, it seems... wrong. I will just train my english for the nexts outcomes, and use your critics to repair this one if i post it in a blog or something like that. one time i tried to read a novel all translated in google tradutor and... o gosh this was bad, so i know how unreadable this can become if i mess up.

And now some... how can i say this? beforewords?

Spoiler
This story is somethig i was working for a few weeks, yeah i saw her soo many times in my head that is like seeing the same anime for 40 years, some weeks earlyer i decided to put this out and finaly start writing, since is a helluva crazy story i have no idea if peoples will find this cool or weird, i cant be impressed, since i am writing it  :glare: so i hope to know what peoples will find out. depending on feedback i may bring the next chapters, if peoples dont like it, well, i will just abandon, it isnt like its a bad thing at all, i've earned some experience working on this, and i dont regret, i also have another crazy storyes in my head that i coul work on.

This story pass in Brazil, why? Because i know Brazil, i can't tell a story that is in a place i dont know, with a culture i dont know, things could just became weird and i'm not in the mood to handle that. The characters had Brazilian names before, and except for the title name i just have "translated" then to become more "global", if you find their Brazilian names sneaking around in the story, just tell me and i will repair that. I also was careful to not "Brasiliate" Things to much, or the story may become something too much geografical and i dont want that, of course a little of my costumes and culture will slip, but there will be no problems if this doenst became a too strong thing.

 there is noo "sinopsis" the sinopsis is "There is no sinopsis", thats because its funnier to read things with not knowing were are you going, to a hikikomori like me this can be called an adventure.

Genre:Action, Fantasy, Gender Bender? Comedy (am i good at comedy? i guess there will be a few jokes in here but dont wait to much, i am terrible at jokes), Romance (just a bit, but enough to be in here), ecchi (i dont know, maybe? i dont feel this story is for that, so for a while is a no-no, but i may change my mind), harem(MAYBE, i still dont know yet, to tell the truth i think there will have no harem at all, but i will leave it here just in case i change my mind)

Well, Leroy Jenkins (Be Aware of the illustration even with they beeing not soo good).

Spoiler

Spoiler


Birdsongs can be heard from outside a bedroom window, this one containing several posters of game characters, a TV with a console on the floor, the controls with jumbled wires, the messy bed with some of the blanket lying on the floor, some clothes scattered all over the corner, the room clearly belonged to a sloppy person. In front of the table where the computer was with the words "you are dead" stamped in red blood on screen, slept a girl with silver purple hair, she had a small stature, but wore baggy clothes, a small puddle of drool leaves her mouth, the girl's eyes open and she lifts her head with a yawn.
- Damn, I hope I'm not late ...
The girl's face makes an expression of discomfort, she looks at her body and then into her hair, her face shows an even more confused expression, she pulls her hair, but the same does not leave, she gets up leaving sleep sideways, turns on the light and runs to the front of her mirror.
- Impossible!

Spoiler


The confusion on the girl’s face, turned into astonishment as she looked in the mirror. "I became a girl?" She thought, then put her hand on her breasts, trying to prove her thinking, but well... she had no breasts, in fact her height was from a girl about 10-12 years old, still trying to prove her hypothesis the girl placed her hand between her legs and... well the result turned out to be much worse than she expected, or in the case, he, since he had not become a girl, only acquired the appearance of one .
The young man leaned his head in the mirror, his face now had no expression, he was just trying to digest what happened and trying to think what to do about it, how did it happen? Why? How does he will go to school like that? What about his parents? Many problems circulated his head and no solution, which problem to solve first? The young man had no idea, but soon he discovered that the biggest one was in the hurried footsteps that he heard toward his room and the knocks on his door.
- Hey Richard! Let's go! Why haven’t you come down yet?
"Damn" Richard thought, the situation had just gone from bad to worse, the person who was knocking on his door was Richard's neighbor and childhood friend; Julia, she was calling him to go to school together as they always did, she wouldn’t be able to believe that Richard had acquired the appearance of a girl, or she would? Richard had no idea what to do, even the fact that he did not exactly became a girl made things even more confusing, "I need to say something," Richard thought.
- I will go later!
In that moment, Richard realized he just f***** up, not just his face and body now resemble that of a girl, his voice was genuinely feminine. Kneeling in despair Richard thought "It's over", despair made his mind go completely white, he gave up resisting and just stood still on the floor waiting for the situation that would follow.
- Hi? Who's there? Where's Richard?
Said the girl after a little moment of silence.
- If you do not open, I'll break open that door Richard!
“Impossible”, thought Richard, Julia did not have the strength to break the door ...
BAM! made the door when she break through, Julia entered with concern in face, her long black hair, partly tied by a ponytail, with her breathless face looking confused to the girl on her knees on the floor and asked ...
- Who are you? Where's Richard?

Spoiler


Richard remained static on the floor, the extreme despair of the situation, the fact that there was no way out, simply made Richard's heart become light as a feather, he did not feel nervous or scared anymore, this was one of his characteristics, knowing that there was nothing left to lose, and that there was no way the situation would get worse, Ricardo simply struck a Nirvana state, "The world is a wonderful place," he thought, all the shuffled paths and narrow streets, all unanswered questions Richard was now only seeing a straight line , with a possible way, Richard did not know where it was going to take him, but he knew that walking through it was inevitable, be able to see only one possible way calmed Richard's heart, because now he knew exactly what to do.
- I'm Richard. - Said the girl.
As expected, Julia frowned and shouted:
- Richard, what's with this joke?
As she moved her face to the sound to be able to echo through the house, she stood before the girl and said,
- Right where's Richard and where do you know him? I'm already more than late so I do not have time for this.
Julia had a serious feature on her face, she was not the kind that was playful, the few times she tried to make a joke on someone, people were confused not knowing what she was talking about. Although she was not the type of person who easily worry about something, the worry on her face was visible and began to increase as Julia had no response. Richard and Julia have always been friends, he does not really remember how he met her, he just remember their childhood games, both developed the same tastes, for video games and anime, but Julia was a hardworking person committed to studies different from Richard, she hated that he had good grades even though he was a slacker, but that envy was something she wanted to take to the grave, or hide until she got over it.
- As I thought, you would not believe it. - Richard said. - Look Julia, I'm not joking, I'm not going to force you to believe me or not, but let's do a test, ask me something that only Richard ... I mean, I would know.
Julia rolled her eyes.
- I already told you...
- No matter if we're late, you can go on your own if you want to, anyway I can’t go to school like this. Come on! ask me anything!
Julia stared at the girl in front of her, the amount of time wasted to hurry to school was not worrisome anymore, because Julia was already late and there was no hurry that could take her out of that situation.
- Alright then, “Richard” when was the first time I met you?
Richard's eyes widened, “F***!” Richard thought, the only thing he did not really remember was asked.
- Wait, can we pass this one?
- No. - Julia said with her arms crossed.
- Alright then... - Richard put his hand on his head trying to remember the deepest memory he might have of their first encounter, but that was impossible, Richard's memory was not meant to remember real life, he thought, everything which he remembered was games and more games, it was a miracle he remembered the boring lectures of his teachers, "This is just another game" he thought "where I have to get points and pass the level" maybe that was the determination that would make him be able to get good grades, but still, he couldn’t even remember what did he lunch yesterday.
- So, do you know the answer or not? - Julia asked.
- Sorry Julia I really don’t remember. - Richard gave up. - Ask me something about some game or about school, I'll definitely know!
Julia did not frown or grimace, she just looked around and said,
- How long does Richard solo the Nightmare Forest on level 87?
- Half an hour and 37 seconds with ping at 170, 27 minutes and 10 seconds with ping at 60, I am not able to give more than 49890 damage per second, so I take 7 minutes more than you, even though I am 100% immune to magic with my current set, you're able to summon a monster up to level 60 with 28912 damage per second , which leaves your job 40% faster , it's a shame I have to give up to summon only to became invulnerable to magic, but still I don’t regret, actually...
- Okay, sure you can shut up. - Julia made an uncomfortable expression. - You need to explain to me what's going on.
- Well… I'd like to know, this morning when I woke up I was like this...
Julia sat on the bed putting her hand over her mouth.
- Do you believe me? - Asked Richard.
- I don’t know what to believe... Richard truly is a useless calculations machine, so only he would be able to answer that...
- Right then... it's me! you see? (Wait I really calculate useless things?)
Julia look at the girl, didn’t knowing if she should believe it or not, if she said yes, Richard could appear from somewhere proving to be just a trick? How long could he take it? He could not do those silly games with her, since she did not know how to play like that, what was happening? Julia decided to take this forward, the only way to really confirm whether what the girl was saying was true or not, was by playing the game, although Julia really doubted that anyone could wake up with the sex and look different from day to night, for the sake of her sanity and patience, she perished to act as if she believed.
- All right, I believe you. Now what are we going to do from now on? What about the school or your parents?
Richard took a thoughtful look and sat down on the chair in his room, in front of Julia.
- I have no idea either...
Looking at each other for a moment, Julia stared at the girl in front of her, she wore the same clothes of Richard, the blue and faded T-shirt, and the old jockey shorts that Richard used since his 9 years, "even wearing his underwear? "Julia thought slightly uncomfortable, Richard, noticing the glances spoke;
- Can you stop staring at me? Really, if I had known that this sort of thing was so uncomfortable I wouldn’t have done it in my lifetime.
Julia surprised, looked away and gave a slight smile.
- A sexual maniac like you must pay for your crimes. - Julia jokingly said.
Richard laughed, and looked at Julia.
- Did you feel that way when I looked at your body?
- Did you looked at my body? - Julia said in surprise.
"Damn!" thought Richard, whit his face blushing, he tried to change the subject.
- And if... we... err... I dunno, look what to do on google?
Julia, with her face also blushing, decided to change the subject as well ...
- I don’t think we'd find the answer, I don’t really think anyone has ever been in this situation before.
- Hmmmm... - Richard put his hand on his head and began to reflect - Well.. there is a first time for everything... to tell you the truth, I just thought of a forum where we can find the answers, but Of course, we'll have to ask before.
- I don’t think anyone would believe that.
- Just ask with "wangle" and certainly they will answer something that helps, in this forum it is common for users to share theories and information that may seem useless, but that in fact are valuable.
- Are you sure?
- No, but it does not hurt to try, if no one believes, we just go back to where we are.



Offline Coryn

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Re: Insólito
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2018, 07:35:18 AM »
Congratulations on taking this first step! No time to read right now I'm afraid, but I hope to see you posting more stories!

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Insólito
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2018, 08:18:31 PM »
I read it. So far it's gender bender story. A boy wakes up to find himself in a girl body. But have his boy part. Girl body, male genitalia. I don't know the terminology but doesn't that make him transgender? Idk just a thought.
I like the cover and the fantasy feel of it. When is that coming into the story? He loves video games, I guess he may go into a sword art online world.
Is this the final form of the story, text with little art here and there or it's going to be like a manga later?

If you want to write in English and your story going to be text-based, its good idea to work on your English.
Depends on your priorities. If you want to be a writer or an artist or both. Know what you want and go for it.