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Author Topic: Lost Fir - One Shot  (Read 377 times)

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Offline eldritchmaestro

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Lost Fir - One Shot
« on: May 31, 2018, 08:41:35 PM »
A god burns, and a man seeks to end a curse that took him away from an idyllic life as a blacksmith...





Foreword

Indulge me a wall of text before you (hopefully) indulge reading the comic.

This is a failed collaboration.

Ryan and I were chatting on skype at some point, and I was getting some useful tips on arting from him as usual, when life does what it does and we got way too busy to even complete it. I worked on the storyboard in a two step process: First a mini storyboard to get an idea on how many pages it'd be, then drawing out that storyboard to full blown pages. For a while, things looked really good. But alas...

So there it sat, a complete storyboard with lot's of notes and nothing else to show for it really. I did learn from the experience, and to be honest this will absolutely happen to a lot of my other projects now and in the future, what I know is is that by doing this mad 4 day rush I've put a chink in the fortress of my own personal Development Hell.

I got it done. It's finished, in  it's imperfect art and quite flawed form, but I'm proud that I managed to finish something that I had left for dead. I'll celebrate this, and a lot of my characters can rest easy knowing that there is some hope to me getting to them eventually...


Anyhow, hope you enjoy the story, and I'll post all extra material at the end in hopes of encouraging other writers to get off their but and get things done, whether in comics or in personal stories. For a long time my art level was an excuse, but now I know the problem was actually just a fear of putting my foot down and finishing something. Funny enough, some of the storyboards have more life than the finished product. Weird.

Also what is perspective?

Enjoy

TL:DR Super stoked that I got an abadoned collaboration project finished. Please enjoy.



Lost Fir

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Storyboards and Character Notes













































The Map and a Little History



Year 0 - The Upheaval. Several thousand gods come to the mainland and in the massive scrabble for beliefs and power, wars are raged and large kingdoms form almost instantly in comparision to how long such things usually take. Countless others are obliterated from existence.

The year is 645. Not even a millenium after The Kingdom was established, the land is overrun with magic and greater and lesser gods.


Samaritan Paladin Monastry - After the first upheaval of gods descending on the continents, the Samaritan Paladins moved from the mainland to an island. They used to be fanatics who carried out crusades to crush any opposing religions, but then after seeing that the new world was one ruled by multiple dieties, they decided to focus on crushing 'evil gods and their disciples and activities', but that, too, was too vague a guideline, because at any number of time there were hundreds of evil gods that were benevolent to great populations  and cruel to others. So that wasn't reliable enough a service to offer... Finally the Samaritan Knights settled on protecting those affected by curses - Usually the rich who are able to repay such a service. It was a much more practical solution, and has been working to their favour ever since. (It is possible that the Waroth Cultists are an offshoot of the Samaritan Paladins', or a coincidence)


The unnameable woods - One of the last hotbeds of primodial undiscovered gods, the unnameable woods have the literal inability to be named (other than the title - which is a bad english translation of the in-world-term) because of the many powerful gods that reside there and refuse to have an opposing forces territory acknolwedged over their own. It's a dangerous place for tresspassers, but can be visited.  It also serves as a biodome for a lot of the land's wildlife.


Blindspot - a desert where the sun always shines with blinding intensity. It takes only five seconds to be blinded forever by the sun. A god resides in that area.  Some pilgrims voluntarily blind themselves in this land after suffering some trauma or as pencance for a crime, becoming Blindmonks, who help others navigate the desert or spend their days in meditative hermitage.

Valley village - Troy's home village. Named after the two mountains it's perched between. A humble village that makes a name for itself through Dale's Smithery - Troy's family Smithery - and the ore that resides in the area.


Kokgo Bog - A natural fossil deposit, massive bog.


The Pass - An old fort that worked as a border between the human world and the elven world... Until the elves left the mainland forever during The Upheaval. 


Elven Glade - During the upheaval of gods, the elves followed their strong belief in the woods and nature as a whole , refusing to ascribe any of nature to a single god. Over time, gods encroached upon their territory, what they considered a tainting of their beliefs - the sheer inability to follow their cultural and personal beliefs without inadvertly worshipping a dervish or singular entity of some sort forced them to purge the woods of any supernatural beings and they vanished as whole. However, the glades are blessed, and anybody is able to visit them once in their life time - an experience which they forget as soon as they leave the glades. And nobody who has made it to them will be able to find them again.


Halen/Haven - A town under the petrified stone remains of a giant. The gigantic ribs curl over the city, providing it shade. It's a very rocky place, but is rich with minerals and a sort of loamy earth that is excellent for produce, albiet bracky and distasteful. The south witch originally researched the history in the area when she was an apprentice.


Dragonblood Bog - A unkown god liquiefied a pompous dragon into black oil. Several witnesses report this. The few who tried to approach the god met the same fate. He is said to travel in humanoid form.


Alambra Outpost - An ambitious outpost said to be preparationto travel to other lands than the mainland. Some are said to be sent there for exile, but there has been no 'infamous' criminal worthy of a long trip over the lands from the kingdoms to be deposited there. It's easier to have local kingdoms mete out punishment locally . The outpost is an arid desert island with very little to tempt anyone to refurbish it. Little historical value.


« Last Edit: May 31, 2018, 08:52:01 PM by legomaestro »

Offline Coryn

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2018, 08:58:09 PM »
Neat. Feels a lot like berserk. Although I kept looking at the knight dude and imagining Solaire from Dark Souls

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2018, 09:07:01 PM »


He was def an inspiration that one. So reliable.

Domo arigatou Mr. Roboto

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2018, 09:08:49 PM »
Wow, this is an astoundingly ambitious project. I'm proud of you for all that's here, although some parts of the chronology are a little confusing, despite the notes. It could go for a little refinement in places. I have to say I'm interested and engaged with the story and the mechanics of the magic. Overall, I'd say this is a pretty good oneshot. It might need a little cleaning up in some places, but you've officially bested me. You finished it.

All I can really say here is "Wow" and "congratulations".

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2018, 09:14:17 PM »
Aho! There is no besting here. I was just beating down my own procrastinatory as, and no cent has been earned from all this muss and fuss, so it's a victory on a very philosophical level. Still not a pro, still nub nubbing around, but just more optimistic about it.

Geh ambition is right. I should've known at the start that I was more likely to quit it. I just love developing stuff way too much. Well at least it's done now.

And yeah totally. Would you recommend anything specific that could be refined? (Just taking a note for the future.)



And ugh. Magic. I know how it works and all but I'm truly impressed at how magic fighting systems make or break the tension in a story. It's hard to come up with rules that are accepteable to the reader haha.

Offline devola

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2018, 04:55:59 AM »
The Dark Souls vibes were nostalgic  :clapping:

Great job getting this done! You should be proud!

Offline suupertramp

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2018, 04:50:20 PM »
great one-shot, definitely continuable for sure :)
great to see the process.

And ugh. Magic. I know how it works and all but I'm truly impressed at how magic fighting systems make or break the tension in a story. It's hard to come up with rules that are accepteable to the reader haha.
ikr. I've been struggling with my own magic system for a while now :/

"Wow" and "congratulations".
Agreed. Great inspiration for us all.

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2018, 07:21:27 AM »
Thankee suuper! Muchly appreciated

Haha which magic system? As in for which story?


@Devola thanks a lot man!

Offline suupertramp

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2018, 12:28:47 PM »
The story which is still in my head lol. I've got a few spinning around that I have never put down on paper because its not fleshed out enough.

PS In the sketch storyboard I misread the title as LOBSTER :P

Offline eldritchmaestro

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Re: Lost Fir - One Shot
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2018, 06:14:22 AM »
Hahaha my handwriting is pretty legendary like that.

Ah yes, the infinite fleshing out. Well when it comes to you I believe you have legit reasons to hold off on your story. I'm more the type to just say 'screw it' and go for it at the moment haha.