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Author Topic: Doubting my ideas  (Read 466 times)

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Offline SilverMoonOfMadara

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Doubting my ideas
« on: February 22, 2018, 02:50:15 PM »
I am in the process of gathering people to create a manga filled to the brim with more messed up subjects than Devilman at a satanists convention in hades. Fatal Moon, a psychological horror yaoi manga about Religion, religious fanatics, 'are humans capable creatures?' Satan, God, humanity, death, murder, love, mystery, insanity, pretty girls and beautiful men. With a dash of demon rockstars, devlish pop divas and musical competitions to die for! And the theme of "even the innocent suffer and die alone, none are spared from the embrace of death". This project is an adult title with strong language, drug abuse, cannibalism, human sacrifice, mob murders, suicide, anti-religous imagery, anti-anti-religous imagery, nudity, sexual content, graphic violence, and more.

However as I write it out, I feel as if it isn't good enough to find an audience. I know there is a market out there, I just doubt my idea is one able to grab hold of it.

From the summary above, opinions?

Offline Coryn

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Re: Doubting my ideas
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2018, 07:51:37 PM »
My first impression is that it was hard enough to follow all the stuff happening in your summary. I think you're suffering from a classic case of clutter. Just that paragraph was all over the place. I couldn't tell you what tone you're shooting for there.

Take a hard look and pull out things that don't ultimately matter to the story. Find your core, and then add the accessories which make it better. Otherwise, you'll just drown the main course in aide dishes.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline SilverMoonOfMadara

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Re: Doubting my ideas
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2018, 08:45:16 PM »
Hn. The core concept is, Humanity as the sons of Adam and Eve, are in fear of the demons they live alongside, as well as the fact as humans, death will come for them oneday no matter how they bend over backwards for a genderless, faceless, featureless god that does not care. They seek to control these fears and segregate themselves from demons. The demons, as sons of Adam whom was Micheal or the hebrew Mikha'el, and Lilith whom was Lucifer after his first death, end up trying to find a way to revive the dead Lucifer's reincarnation, Satan,  order to protect themselves from the onslaught of the human emperor and his holy priests in the church of God. every element listed above is included in this, focusing on several demon characters and a few humans, like the human emperor and his children. But in the end the mistakes of the son, Ranmaru, will lead to the end of days for more than just humanity.

Offline Coryn

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Re: Doubting my ideas
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2018, 07:46:55 AM »
You're still too broad. I really mean core concept here. One sentence at max. And no cheating by making it a run-on either. Pair it all the way down. Once you can explain a story in a single sentence, one which sums up the entire work concisely, will you truly understand what it's about.

Will review stories upon request. My latest arc: http://goo.gl/KYgsfF

Offline Robin Ryuu

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Re: Doubting my ideas
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2018, 10:25:02 AM »
Here's a sort of tutorial along the lines of what Coryn is suggesting:

https://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/snowflake-method/

Personally, I use a modified method that is a combination of that and this guide:

https://www.storymastery.com/story/screenplay-structure-five-key-turning-points-successful-scripts/

And instead of writing lists of major/minor events, I use flow charts:

http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,18957.0.html


Since that's a lot of material to read and try to adjust to (if so chosen) feel free to ask me any questions about the processes or anything really. I'll do my best to help.

Offline Zetnodan

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Re: Doubting my ideas
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2018, 11:28:52 AM »
I'm curious about who this thing is about. Generally when you're explaining the story to people you specify the main characters. If you don't do that, while the premise is interesting you could do anything with it from what you've told us
The character you choose is going to determine so much about what the story is about, what themes you tackle, etc.

Offline Corycaly

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Re: Doubting my ideas
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2018, 04:47:14 PM »
As Coryn Sken, you have lots of ideas mixed together. It's good because it means you have inspiration  but here the result is too complex, too blurred.
Here is a  simple advice. Try to answer in one sentence those questions:
When? Where? Who? What? How/Why?
Once you have those elements, you can summarize your story with those steps.
Beginning
The problem
The solution
The conclusion
This will help you to clean up your ideas! I hope it will work for you!

Offline Action Animation

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Re: Doubting my ideas
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2018, 10:13:49 PM »
this is common among writers, what that normally means is that, your idea in itself does not hold your own attention. A subconscious hint telling you this is too muddled to be coherent.

from what I red it seems your story has a very temperamental atmosphere with a undisciplined tone that shifts all over the spectrum.

It seems your struggling with investment and its one of the core values of any story.

you can have the most original Idea ever made but if you have a bland cast, we as readers won't care what happens

now if you switched that, the entire outcome changes.

you can have the most cliche story line but if you bring us a cast that we as a viewer grow attached to as if they were our family, It does not matter what their trial is because we love your characters so much we want to see it through.

when you look back at your story see if your cast reacts as a real character would, with their own unique thoughts feelings and emotions

because if they are the stock characters we see today you yourself may lose interest with what happens to your crew and not have a drive to see them carry out their adventure.
just a thought^^
-Action
« Last Edit: February 28, 2018, 08:02:30 PM by Action Animation »
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