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Author Topic: Show Don't Tell the above character! (Characterisation Workshop)  (Read 305 times)

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Offline GreenTrap

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Show Don't Tell the above character! (Characterisation Workshop)
« on: December 16, 2017, 12:14:39 PM »
So here's a little workshop that was inspired by the layout of Lego's one a week ago:
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,18825.0.html Ironically that was also inspired by a different workshop, so maybe a trend of inspirations will settle in here  :dance:

Anyways, one of the things I've learnt when writing film scripts at University is that an audience can't read a narration of what a character will be like. Instead they need to observe what a character does or says to get glimpses into their personality and emotions.

Translating this into novel format can be hard for beginners. If you're used to a 'Tell' approach, it can be very hard to get out of. An example of a 'Tell' approach can be something simple like; "Mikasa was Angry. She threw a plate on the floor. The others were scared."
However, a simple sentence such as that can be spiced up if we avoid telling the anger, fear and crash and instead 'Showed' "Mikasa's smile soured into a grimace. Everyone's ears perked up at the sound of Mikasa's plate being flung to the floor, shattering before their feet. Wanting nothing more to do with this, they all retreated from the building."

Visual cues in body langauge as well as using the five senses are good tools to change from Tell into a Show. So why don't we all practice now by putting our own Shows on some Tells? I'll put one example and the next person will Show it, then put down their example for another to Show it, and so on  :thumbsup:


Example:
Spoiler
The Princess was happy. Her garden was beautiful in the Summer.

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Show Don't Tell the above character! (Characterisation Workshop)
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2017, 06:00:24 AM »
When it rained here, it didn't do much to offset the heat. It became warm, rather, and since nobody was allowed this far into the palace, she indulged in it, stepping carefully in the deluge amongst the hibiscus and frangipani. She understood how silly it was, how it drenched her expensive silk white dress. She didn't mind. She twirled instead.


- The dog-man was angry. He chewed some gum.  (I'm not sure if that's a good prompt)

Offline MadOxMalachi

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Re: Show Don't Tell the above character! (Characterisation Workshop)
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2017, 06:59:10 AM »
"Morning. Its $11.64 for the coffee, bagel, and nicotine gum... No, give me cash. We only accept credit or debit for purchases over $20." "F-off," said the dog-man to the clerk.

Prompt for the next: The girl felt as if this ship was hers, that she owned this moment.

Offline GreenTrap

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Re: Show Don't Tell the above character! (Characterisation Workshop)
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2017, 06:59:43 AM »
The gentle ripples of the swimming pool rocked Daisy’s inflatable boat. Her footing was hard to maintain but she still stood strong and proud. Her shadow peered over all the other kids, who had to swim aside and make way lest they get caught in Daisy’s path. With a dark giggle, the proud girl said “This is my pool. Bitches.”

Prompt: A waitress spills tea over a proud samurai