Hi Miss Churro.
I am posting very late...haven't been on in awhile. But I saw this and felt I wanted to say something.
I think I was very much like that too, trying to come across cool, fun, outgoing even though I'm not like that in real life. I've gotten over the persona thing though. Just took some time and maturity for me. And I think it was a similar case for you too. Takes a lot of courage and humility to admit and share what you wrote.
To be honest, I felt guilty after reading because there was a time when I used to think negatively whenever I saw you take disciplinary action against someone. I used to think you were trying to act big...I was very silly in my feelings...I'm very sorry for that.
We can never know what another person is going through, but instead we jump to conclusions nonetheless. Please, please keep striving. You are a very talented person and I think many colleges would be happy to have you. Wish you all the best.