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Author Topic: Blodtorstig  (Read 70 times)

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Offline Canislupus54

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Blodtorstig
« on: November 28, 2017, 08:03:11 PM »
I actually put this in panel format, so I feel like it's ready to go here instead of Develop Your Story. Feedback is welcome.

Spoiler
Characters:
Alyssa “Lyssa” Crow: five foot three, shoulder length black hair. Brown eyes. Wearing a brown hooded cloak, a white knee length, short sleeved dress, white knee high stockings, and brown boots. Wields a blood red spear. Demon form: Red eyes with slit pupils, pink hair, red curved horns coming out of the side of her head.
--
Chapter 1

Page 1
Five Panels
1.1 Lyssa is walking along a dirt road. In the distance, a village surrounded by a high fence, with a forest to the right of it is visible.

1.2 Close up on Lyssa, frowning and shielding her eyes from the sun with one hand.
   Lyssa(thinking): Geez, I hope this town has a good inn. If I have to sleep in some creepy farmer’s stable one more night I am going to kill--er, have harsh words with the mayor!

1.3 Lyssa reaches the village gates. There is a guard manning them, standing in front of her and to her right.

1.4 Lyssa has to noticeably look up at the guard to meet her gaze, as the guard is much taller than her. She scowls slightly.

1.5 The guard looks down at Lyssa.
   Guard: Identification.

Page 2
Four Panels
2.1 Lyssa fishes around in her bag.
   Lyssa(thinking): Why do they always ask for that? It’s not like they can keep track of everyone in the kingdom anyway…

2.2 Lyssa hands the guard a slip of paper.

2.3 The guard examines the piece of paper.

2.4 The guard hands the piece of paper back to Lyssa.
   Guard: Looks good, welcome to Riverdon, Alyssa Crow.

Page 3
Three Panels
3.1 Alyssa puts the piece of paper back in her bag.
   Lyssa: Thank you, sir. Would you happen to know where I can find a good inn here?

3.2 The guard gives a hearty laugh.
   Guard: There’s only one good inn here! The Restful Bull is just down the street on your left.

3.3 Lyssa walks past the guard, down the street, looking to her left.
   Lyssa: Thank you.

Page 4
Four Panels
4.1 Close up on a sign with a faded picture of a bull on it.

4.2 Inside a crowded inn’s dining room, full of people eating and drinking. Lyssa is opening the door and walking in.

4.3 Lyssa sits down at a table. A waitress walks up to her.
   Lyssa: I’ll have the steak and a glass of apple juice, please.

4.4 Shift to two nearby women talking to each other. Lyssa is visible in the background, looking at them quizzically.
   Woman#1: I sent my children to gather firewood at dawn and they still haven’t come back!
   Woman#2: That’s horrible. Hopefully they didn’t get lost in the White Forest!

Page 5
Five panels
5.1 Woman#1 leaps to her feet, slamming her fists down on the table, shaking the contents.
   Woman#1: Don’t even say such horrible things!

5.2 Focus back on Lyssa. The waitress sets down Lyssa’s food.
   Lyssa(thinking): Don’t get involved, Lyssa, the children are already lost. Even if you could get them back…

5.3 Lyssa cutting into her steak.

5.4 Lyssa eating the piece of steak she just cut.

5.5 Lyssa taking a sip of her juice.





Page 6
One Panel
6.1 Lyssa takes off running towards the door, knocking over her chair in the process. The waitress stands in the background with a shocked look on her face.
   Waitress: Miss, your food!

Page 7
Three Panels
7.1 Lyssa running through the streets, towards the forest.
   Lyssa(thinking): I sense a large amount of demonic energy from the forest. There must have been a huge battle there during the war.

7.2 Lyssa stops running in a clearing in the forest. There’s a large man with a battle axe standing in the clearing, looking around.

7.3 The man notices Lyssa.
   Man: Hey, are you here for the kids too? Too bad, they’re my prey.

Page 8
Four Panels
8.1 Close up on Lyssa scowling.
   Lyssa: You’re going to kill them?

8.2 The man is in the midst of a shrug. Lyssa is glaring at him
   Man: Of course. They’ve been in the White Forest for hours. At their age they’ve turned for sure.
   Lyssa: I won’t allow that.

8.3 The man is scratching his head.
   Man: Why’s that?
   Lyssa: Because I know what it’s like. Leave, now.

8.4 The man is running at Lyssa, holding his battle axe with both hands.
   Man: Not a chance!

Page 9
Five Panels
9.1 The man is right in front of Lyssa, his axe raised over his head.

9.2 The man’s axe is slamming down into the ground, sending dirt flying everywhere. Lyssa has dodged to her right and is in the midst of drawing her spear.


9.3 Lyssa stabs the man in the knee from the side.
   Man: Agh!

9.4 The man swings horizontally at Lyssa. Lyssa catches the blow on the shaft of her spear and kicks the man in his wounded knees.
   Man: Urgh!

9.5 The man is on one knee. Lyssa is stabbing him in the face.

Page 10
Five Panels
10.1 Lyssa withdraws her spear from the man’s head.

10.2 Lyssa walks away from the corpse, which is now lying face down on the ground, the grass soaked with blood.

10.3 Lyssa arrives in an area with pure paper white trees.

10.4: Close up on Lyssa’s eyes, which are now red with a slitted pupil.

10.5 Close up on Lyssa from the side, showing her hair has turned pink.

Page 11
Three Panels
11.1 Lyssa is looking off into the distance and grinning after hearing a roar and loud footsteps.
   SFX: RIAAAAAH!
   SFX: Boom boom! Boom boom!

11.2 A large monster has arrived. It appears to be a humanoid skeleton with pitch black bones. It is walking on its knuckles like an ape and has two lung-like sacks of flesh within its ribcage.

11.3 Lyssa’s grin widens.
   Lyssa: I came here to rescue some brats and I get to fight a demic! I’ll take you on!

Page 12
Five Panels
12.1 Lyssa leaps at the monster, stabbing at it with her spear.

12.2 The monster catches the spear .

12.3 The monster throws Lyssa away, sending her flying through a nearby tree.

12.4 Lyssa stands up.
12.5 Lyssa swings at the monster’s legs with her spear. The monster tries to block with its left arm, but the arm shatters on impact.
   Lyssa: Come on, don’t tell me that’s all you have!

Page 13
5 Panels
13.1 Lyssa leaps into the air, spear raised overhead to smash down on the monster’s skull.

13.2 The monster breathes fire on Lyssa while also raising its remaining arm to block the blow.

13.3 Lyssa’s spear emerges from the flames and shatters the arm.

13.4 The flames clear to show that Lyssa now has her horns.

13.5 The monster grabs Lyssa in its jaws.

Page 14
Six Panels
14.1 The monster throws Lyssa into a nearby tree.

14.2 Lyssa is on the ground, pushing herself to her feet, one hand on her abdomen.

14.3 Lyssa takes away the hand to reveal a heavily bleeding wound.

14.4 Lyssa gives her widest grin yet.
   Lyssa: Did you just make me bleed, you idiot? Do you know who I am!?

14.5 Spears fly out of the wound and destroy the monster’s legs.

14.6 The monster falls to the ground, unable to move.
   Monster: RIAAAH!

Page 15
Four Panels
15.1 Lyssa stands over the monster with her spear raised.

15.2 Lyssa smashes in the monster’s head with her spear.

15,3 The monster’s corpse begins to dissolve.

15.4 The corpse finishes dissolving, revealing two unconscious children, one boy and one girl, lying where the monster’s flesh sacs were.

Page 16
Three Panels
16.1 Lyssa slings one child over each shoulder.
   Lyssa: Okay, let’s go, brats.

16.2 Lyssa arrives back at the inn. Everybody present stops and stares at her.

16.3 Lyssa gently deposits the two children on the ground before Woman#1.
   Woman#1: What?

Page 17
Five Panels
17.1 Woman#1 kneels by her children, tears stream down her cheeks.
   Woman#1: My children…

17.2 Woman#1 looks up at Lyssa.
   Woman#1: You went in the Forest and you’re fine. No, your eyes. You’re a demon!

17.3 Close up on Lyssa’s face showing her eyes are still demonic.
   Lyssa: Crap!
   Someone from off panel: A demon!?

17.4 Viewed from behind Lyssa’s back. Woman#1 is looking around in a panic.
   Background character: We should kill the children too, then!
   Woman#1: No, don’t kill my children!

17.5 Lyssa bursts out in fake evil laughter.
   Lyssa: Hahaha! You think I turned these kids? They were so weak they’d barely make for a snack, so I returned them! That’s all!

Page 18
Four Panels
18.1 Lyssa runs out of the inn.

18.2 Lyssa runs through the streets.
   Someone from off panel: Stop the demon!

18.3 The guard at the gate looks up.
   Guard: What? A demon!?

18.4 Lyssa runs the guard through on her spear.


Page 19
One Panel
19.1 Lyssa runs along the open road with the moon rising, wiping tears from her eyes.
   Lyssa(thinking): This is how it always is, after all...
« Last Edit: November 28, 2017, 10:46:36 PM by Canislupus54 »

Offline Canislupus54

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Re: Blodtorstig
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2017, 05:22:52 PM »
Chapter Two

Spoiler
Chapter 2

New Characters:
Kyle Levia: A thirteen year old boy with short black hair and brown eyes. Wearing a plain brown long-sleeved shirt and black pants. Brown shoes. Stands at 5’5”
Isake Levia: A twenty year old man with shoulder length straight brown hair and brown eyes. Wearing a white long coat, a black shirt, grey pants, and brown boots. Six feet tall. Has a one handed sword on his hip.
Page 1
Three Panels
1.1 Lyssa in human form, silhouetted against the moon, has her spear run through a man’s chest.

1.2 Lyssa, still in silhouette, withdraws her spear.

1.3 The man falls over.

Page 2
Four Panels
2.1 An overhead shot of Lyssa standing in an open field, surrounded by corpses.

2.2 Full body three-quarters view from the back of Lyssa. Lyssa walks away.

2.3 Lyssa is in a forest. She is sitting on a tree stump trying to light some fire wood with a flint and rock. Her spear is lying on the ground next to her.

2.4 The fire lights.

Page 3
Five Panels
3.1 Lyssa sits by the fire with a bowl of soup. She is in the midst of raising a spoonful to her mouth.

3.2 There’s a rustling from off-panel. Lyssa looks in that direction and reached for her spear.
   SFX: Rustle

3.3 Kyle emerges from a bush.

3.4 Lyssa sighs and returns her hand to her spoon.

3.5 View over Lyssa’s shoulder from behind. Kyle is scratching his head and looking off to the side awkwardly.
   Kyle: Hey, mind if I join you?

Page 4
Four Panels
4.1 Close up on Lyssa from three-quarter view. She’s smiling in a friendly manner.
   Lyssa: As long as you don’t mind joining me. I don’t have any extra soup.

4.2 Kyle sits down at the fire and starts humming.
   Kyle: Hmhmhmmmhmhm.

4.3 Close up on Lyssa looking inquisitive.
   Lyssa: What brings someone so young out here alone?

4.4 Kyle gives Lyssa an irritated pout.
   Kyle: I could ask you the same thing.

Page 5
Five Panels
5.1 Lyssa gives Kyle a skeptical look with one eyebrow raised.

5.2 Kyle stares into the fire.
   Kyle: I ran away from home, okay?

5.3 Lyssa smiles nostalgically.
   Lyssa: I ran away from home once, but I don’t think I ever got this far.

5.4 Kyle stares at the ground silently.
   Kyle: I doubt your family was like mine.

5.5 Side shot of Lyssa and Kyle.
   Lyssa: As do I. I’m sure you’ll return. Home is--
   Kyle: I don’t need a lecture from a demon!

Page 6
Three Panels
6.1  Lyssa is standing, holding her spear and pointing it at Kyle.
   Lyssa: How do you know?

6.2 Close up on Kyle, looking at Lyssa out of the corner of his eye.
   Kyle: Sorry, that was uncalled for. My brother’s an Exorcist. I’ve picked up a few things.

6.3 Close up on Kyle, looking directly at Lyssa/the camera.
   Kyle: But you don’t seem like a bad person!

Page 7
Four Panels
7.1 Lyssa lowers her spear.
   Lyssa: I saved some children. There was a misunderstanding. Now I have a bounty on my head.

7.2 Kyle looking inquisitive.
   Kyle: So you’re lying low until this blows over.

7.3 Lyssa smiling.
   Lyssa: More or less. Your ran away to get out of your brother’s shadow.

7.4 Kyle smiling.
   Kyle: More or less. I’m Kyle Levia.

Page 8
Four Panels
8.1 Close up on Lyssa, her eyes are wide with shock.
   Lyssa(thinking): The Levia family is a famous clan of Exorcists! I’m surprised he doesn’t have a fake identity!

8.2 Lyssa’s face has relaxed into a friendly smile.
   Lyssa: I’m Alyssa Crow. You can call me Lyssa. Nice to meet you!

8.3 Showing the shadows of the forest. A dagger comes flying out.

8.4 Lyssa narrowly moves her head out of the dagger’s path.

Page 9
Five Panels
9.1 Lyssa is scowling.
   Lyssa: You set me up!

9.2 Kyle is holding his hands up innocently.
   Kyle: No, I had no idea I was followed!

9.3 Back to the shadows. Isake is stepping out of them.

9.4 Close up on Kyle. Kyle looks surprised
   Kyle: Brother Isake!

9.5 Side view. Isake is staring at Lyssa impassively. Kyle is in between them.
   Isake: I will kill this demon, then punish you for consorting with her.
   Kyle: Brother, no!

Page 10
Five Panels
10.1 Isake walks between Kyle and Lyssa.
   Isake: I do not appreciate you bewitching my brother, demoness
   Lyssa: I don’t appreciate being accused of things I didn’t do.

10.2 Shot from behind Lyssa over her shoulder Isake is suddenly right in front Lyssa.

10.3 Isake draws his sword to strike.

10.4 Lyssa parries the blow with her spear.

10.5 Isake flash steps behind Lyssa, moving to stab to her in the back.

Page 11
Six Panels
11.1 Lyssa rolls forward to avoid the stab.

11.2 Lyssa has turned around and is stabbing at Isake with her spear.

11.3 Isake moves to the side, out of the way of the stab

11.4 Isake slashes horizontally at Lyssa.

11.5 Lyssa backflips to avoid the slash.

11.6 Close up on the sword clipping Lyssa’s left arm.

Page 12
Six Panels
12.1 Lyssa lands with a small smirk.

12.2 A dagger flies out of Lyssa’s wound.

12.3 Isake moves out of the way, but gets a small cut on his right arm. His eyes are wide with surprise.
12.4 Close up on Lyssa scowling.
   Lyssa: Looks like I’ll have to take you seriously.

12.5 Close up on Isake looking neutral.
   Isake: I will have to fight you with maybe a quarter of my power.

12.6 Close up on Lyssa’s right eye, now red with a slit pupil.

Page 13
Five Panels
13.1 Side shot of Lyssa showing her hair has turned pink and she has grown her horns.

13.2 Lyssa and Isake walk toward each other.

13.3 Lyssa and Isake stand about five feet apart. Lyssa is looking up and Isake is looking down so they make eye contact.

13.4 Zoom out. The fire is out, the ground around Isake and Lyssa has cracked, and the trees around them are exploding. Wind is blowing out from around them.

13.5 Close up on Kyle shielding his eyes and bracing himself.
   Kyle: This is crazy, just from their raw power!?

Page 14
Six Panels
14.1 Close up on Lyssa grinning.

14.2 Close up on Isake looking impassive.

14.3 Lyssa stabs at Isake with her spear.

14.4 Isake dodges to Lyssa’s left.

14.5 Lyssa turns the spear in order to hit Isake with the shaft.

14.6 Isake parries with his sword.

Page 15
Six Panels
15.1 A knife comes flying out of Lyssa’s arm wound.

15.2 Isake ducks to avoid the knife.

15.3 Lyssa kicks Isake in the face.

15.4 Isake is flying through the air.

15.5 Isake has recovered and landed on his feet.

15.6 Lyssa is right in front of Isake swinging her spear at him.

Page 16
Six Panels
16.1 Isake parries Lyssa’s blow.

16.2 Lyssa and Isake are interlocked by their weapons.

16.3 Lyssa’s knife comes back.

16.4 Isake tilts his head to avoid the knife, getting only a shallow cut on his cheek.

16.5 Isake sweeps Lyssa’s legs out from under her.

16.6 Isake stabs at Lyssa in mid air.

Page 17
Six Panels
17.1 Lyssa Blocks the stab in midair with her spear.

17.2 Lyssa is sent flying away.

17.3 Lyssa rolls along the ground for a few feet.

17.4 Isake stands over Lyssa with his sword ready to stab down. Lyssa is on her back.

17.5 Lyssa swings her spear at Isake’s legs.

17.6 Isake jumps to avoid the attack.

Page 18
Three Panels
18.1 Lyssa flips over onto all fours.

18.2 Lyssa leaps up at Isake, impaling him in the chest with her horns.

18.3 Close up on Isake coughing up blood, with his eyes wide with surprise.

Page 19
Six Panels
19.1 Isake grabs one of Lyssa’s horns with his free hand.

19.2 Isake has forced Lyssa’s head away from his chest. His sword arm is extended for a horizontal strike.

19.3 Lyssa knees Isake in the stomach.

19.4 Lyssa extends her leg, kicking Isake away from her.

19.5 Frontal shot of Isake glaring at Lyssa with one arm covering his horn wounds.

19.6 Close up up of Lyssa grinning.
   Lyssa: Don’t worry, it’s natural to make mistakes when you’re badly wounded!

Page 20
Six Panels
20.1 Isake’s wounds glow.

20.2 Isake moves his arm out of the way to reveal he has healed.
   Isake: I underestimated you twice. It won’t happen a third time.

20.3 Isake vanishes.

20.4 Isake reappears, kneeing Lyssa in the face.

20.5 Lyssa goes flying backwards

20.6 Isake punches Lyssa in the stomach.

Page 21
Four Panels
21.1 Lyssa goes flying through several trees.

21.2 Lyssa lands on her feet.

21.3 Isake appears, slashing downward at Lyssa.

21.4 Lyssa blocks the attack with her spear.

Page 22
Six Panels
22.1 Lyssa twists her spear to hit Isake in the side of the head.

22.2 Isake is knocked over by the blow.

22.3 Isake catches himself with one hand.

22.4 Isake flips over.

22.5 Isake lands back on his feet.

22.6 Isake stabs at Lyssa.

Page 23
Five Panels
23.1 Lyssa parries, but steps backwards to do it.

23.2 Kyle runs into the area.
   Kyle: This is bad, she’s totally being pushed back!

23.3 Lyssa swings at Isake with her spear.

23.4 Isake catches the spear my the shaft.

23.5 Isake kicks Lyssa in the stomach, sending her flying through several more trees.

Page 24
Six Panels
24.1 Lyssa slides to a stop a few feet away from a cliff. There is a waterfall going off the cliff.

24.2 Close up on Lyssa’s stomach wound closing up.

24.3 Close up showing Lyssa’s wound has healed.

24.4 Close up on Lyssa’s eyes. The sclera are now black.

24.5 Close up on Lyssa’s left hand. Her nails have lengthened and sharpened into claws.

24.6 Isake stands a couple feet away from Lyssa with a small smirk on his face.
   Isake: Looks like I overestimated you that time.

Page 25
Three Panels
25.1 Side view, silhouette. Lyssa has stabbed Isake through the stomach with her spear. Lyssa is laughing hysterically.
   Lyssa: HAHAHA!

25.2 Close up on Lyssa’s face, still laughing.
   Lyssa: HAHAHA! Don’t think for a second you could beat me!

25.3 Close up on Isake’s face, eyes wide, mouth agape.

Page 26
Three Panels
26.1 Isake kicks Lyssa away from him.

26.2 Isake throws a dagger at Lyssa.

26.3 The dagger his Lyssa in the chest, the force sends her flying off the cliff.

Page 27
One Panel
27.1 Close up on Lyssa falling in human form.
   Lyssa(thinking): I guess I should have run away…