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Author Topic: Fate From Zero (My still developing light novel)  (Read 133 times)

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Online Lewd Cat

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Fate From Zero (My still developing light novel)
« on: November 12, 2017, 07:40:32 PM »
? Synopsis ?
Genre: Drama, Psychological, Sci-fi, Action, Mystery, School life, Game
A lonely young boy Theremin suffered a unique trait. Children at his age becomes scared at him even if doesn't do something. Also her sister is defective as well; She can't show any expressions. Instead, she draws emoticons to show her feelings. The siblings struggled through life by using their great intellect. However, what keeps them being sane was playing chess.

Is this good? help me guys :D
« Last Edit: November 13, 2017, 04:55:29 PM by Lewd Cat »


Offline Forlorn Serpent

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Re: Fate From Zero (My still developing light novel)
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2017, 08:18:02 PM »
I’ll start reading tonight.

Online Lewd Cat

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Re: Fate From Zero (My still developing light novel)
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2017, 04:18:18 AM »
I recently came up with this idea. Is this good?

Spoiler
? Chapter X ?

There are pillars everywhere. A room made for physical test purposes only. It changes form depending on the mode of environment.
“Nii… We’ll have a lots of fun here.” S.N. whispered to her brother’s ear as she gently touch his brother’s arms to hands.
“A lots of fun? What do you mean?” Theremin gulped his saliva out of curiosity.
“Here take this!” S.N. handed something to her brother’s hand.
“A gun? Real gun or something else?”
S.N. didn’t hesitated to fire directly to Theremin. However, she purposely missed the shot to warn Theremin that they are going to be serious.
“*censored*! I just recently died and I’m gonna die again!?”
“Don’t worry this is just a simulation but you will feel the pain as if it were real.”
Intense dual guns fight of Theremin and his sister began. They both run and evaded each other’s attacks. Series of bombardment fired from S.N.’s pistols and Theremin barely dodged it.

“I will aim for her head if I able to make to a feint and make her jump. There’s a chance that she will predict it. I will throw my other gun to block her field of vision. Then I will fire with a curved trajectory to her blind spot.”
“What is he doing? Coming straight at me?”
Theremin charged and throwed his gun to S.N. while she is in the air. It made S.N. caught off guard and she was corned by Theremin’s plan.
“Just kidding~” S.N. fired away the gun that was blocking her vision and couldn’t find Theremin.
“The trajectory of the bullet is going to 18 y axis and -35 x axis at the speed of 30mph. Aiming for the side of my head huh? Wait something is strange-”
“Yes, you are still you my lil’ sis. You’re still always like that!” Theremin slide towards S.N. while covering his action when he threw the gun. Then he fired the bullet that aims for her sister’s chin.
“Too bad nii...” S.N. deflect the bullet going to her right. The 1st bullet fired by Theremin changed directions and its velocity doubled and a chain reaction of deflection began. Theremin didn’t expect it and he had no time to react and he lost.
“Nii… Do you remember our promise?”
“Promise?”
“We’re going to defeat papa. But I can’t do it if you are weak.”
“This is what happens after dying for 2 years?”
“Geez, you drowned into one of your delusions… Nii, You’re in coma recently.”
“Well, I need to learn as fast as possible. I didn’t imagine that you would become like this my lil’ sis.”
“Yay! Praise me more!”
“You’re the best sister in the world! Here is your reward…” Theremin patted his sister’s head and her sister was charmed by it.


Offline S8N

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Re: Fate From Zero (My still developing light novel)
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2017, 08:04:19 PM »
Flashbacks to NGNL.

While I'm not against the idea of taking inspiration from other stories and writers, I highly suggest that you be wary of where the line should be drawn.
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S8N

Online Lewd Cat

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Re: Fate From Zero (My still developing light novel)
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2017, 08:11:46 PM »
How come? is it how should I approach the story? I'm still not yet done with my character's synopsis including their health conditions that's why the flashback there /\ is like a ripped off from NGNL hahaha