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Author Topic: Dragon Universe (Shonen)  (Read 1100 times)

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Offline PichuDX

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Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« on: October 29, 2017, 11:18:54 PM »
[Chapter 1 Post + Introduction]

UPDATE (12/12/17) {~ Happy Holidays ~}

Hey everyone! My names Nathan L. and I'm the author behind Dragon Universe, my current manga project. My team of artists and I have been working diligently for the past year to start this series up, so hopefully you all enjoy it!

A few notes you should keep in mind before you read:

1. The scripts posted here are bit unprofessional, and I realize that. They are written both like a script and with notes all over. I was going to clean it up, but I figured I'd keep it as is. I've found that using this format helps the artists understand more about how to draw the pages, so I thought I'd show you all the full process of how we get that done to help out any future mangaka, if that makes any sense :P. (as a side note, I have removed anything that might spoil later plot points, but besides that most of my work is there. By spoil, I mean anything the reader is not intended to know about while reading the finished product, none of the story was altered, just side notes.)

2. We currently have up to chapter 6 completely edited and finished, with chapters 7 - 55 written up (With notes and some unfinished bits.) If we can get a few people reading along, I'd love to post the scripts here as I finish :D

3. We have tons of artwork and pages done for the manga, If your interested in our work, and are curious what our characters look and interact like, please feel free to look us up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dragon-Universe-171809216719052/?ref=bookmarks
Please note that most of our pages are not there, we are waiting until we officially release the manga to show off our hard work to the public! That being said, all of our character designs and concept art is there, which there are a ton of.

4. All comments and criticism is greatly appreciated. there's no point in writing this story if no one enjoys it! We want to make this a great experience, so any feedback you have, please leave so we can review it. Thanks in advance!

- Notice: We are currently looking for volunteers to read through the finalized first chapter, manga pages and all! This is to help us quality check our work. To participate in this, please contact me here or via my email (on my profile page.) You will be required to have a Discord account to be able to discuss with the team live, and have some free time for us to pull you aside and ask some questions. Thank you in advance to any Voluteers~! -

Chapter 1 “DREAM” Start

(The chapter opens on a little girl sitting in a field of flowers. The art style resembles that of a little kid coloring with crayons. The little girl is resembling a younger Yuki. Yuki is looking around the field, picking up flowers as she goes. After a few panels of her picking flowers, a grey fog starts to creep up from behind her. Once it moves past her face, she slowly turns around. As she's turning around I believe three small panels in a row with an intensifying light will work, as her expression changes to show disbelief. Once she's fully turned around, a whole page should be dedicated to her standing, facing a mansion that is lit up in horrifying flames. Yuki should seem small compared to the mansion and flames. The next panel should show the flames in her eyes, and with a close up of her eyes reveal a figure standing in the flames. The view should flip to her perspective, slowly zooming into a sinister looking figure (Make sure he has distorted looking, spiky hair. He should also have something resembling a chain coming from his pocket attaching to his waist) facing sides ways, his hand facing upwards and out stretched. Once he is in close enough view, show him turning his head only towards Yuki, pulling his hand a bit closer to himself. Then, he smiles wickedly with two, distinctive red eyes shining directly at the reader and Yuki, clenching his hand into a fist, flames bursting out from inside the fist. His head should also be slightly tilted.)


Real Chapter 1 “Yuki” Start

(The chapter opens up on Yuki slowly opening her good eye (Her bad one isn’t shown until she's putting on her eyepatch, and when it's shown it's closed.) She rubs her bad eye with her arm, still lying down.)

Yuki: (That dream… Why, after all these years, does it still haunt me…?)

(Yuki starts to sit up in bed. She yawns, and gets out of bed. She walks over to her mirror, showing herself in a long White T shirt and black shorts on. Next to her mirror is a plain bust of a face with her eyepatch on it, so she grabs it and puts it on.)

Yuki: (It’s been almost 9 years... Since the fire. You’d think rebuilding the entire place would rid me of those memories…)

(The next few scenes show her brushing her teeth, brushing her messy hair, making a coffee in a huge kitchen, and sitting down, sipping the coffee. By the next time we see her, she switched out her shorts for casual, comfy jogging pants. She goes outside to a courtyard built into the middle of the Mansion, and waters a few flowers that are growing in a garden. She then goes back inside, stretches and yawns, grabs a bag of chips and slouches down onto a fancy couch in front of a TV.)

Yuki: (But whatever. I need to stop thinking the same thoughts everyday, I need something new in my life... Something that will get my mind off it.)

(She turns on the TV with a remote that was on the couch already, and it opens to a news story.)

News Reporter: Sadly, the situation is only getting worse. There seems to be no end to this new crime wave, with every passing day the crime rate must be sky rocketing. On the scene right now is our action reporter.

(the scene on the screen switches to a man in a suit outside of a shop. The glass of the shop’s windows seem to have been bashed in, with graffiti sprayed all over the building.)

Action reporter: Thanks. As you can see here, a local, small shop has been ravaged and cleaned out by a new crime syndicate. On the shop's back wall, it appears the gangsters have left some sort of call sign. (The Tv now shows a wall with the word “ClaW” Written in graffiti across the whole wall. The W in Claw Is made of three claw marks (\I/ <- Like that )) Besides that, there seems to be no trace of the vandalizers. If anyone watching knows anything about this incident, please, inform your local Police Station or Patrolling Officers asap. The rebuilding of our nation can only start with yo-

(The screen shuts off with a flash, with remote in hand, Yuki Sighs.)

Yuki: (Jeez. It seems everyone's getting in on the whole crime thing. I wonder how much I could make doing something like that? I’m sure they need someone with a Talent like mine...)

(Yuki giggles to herself, and gets up from the couch. She then shakes a near empty bag of potato chips.)

Yuki: ( Ugh. I guess I need to go and get some more snacks. I’m running low again…)

(Yuki tosses the now empty bag of chips on a nearby table, which is piled with some other trash and food wrappings. She picks up her coat which was thrown on a chair near the table and heads for the door. She can be seen before the scene switches from the outside of the Mansion, a front on view of the whole thing as she leaves it. It looks in almost perfect condition, but clearly shows she's wealthy. Around her are woods, and in front of her is a dirt road. The scene now switches to a scene in a forest. The sun is shining through the trees, and a boy with a brownish cloak is walking down a dirt path. On his back, he has something huge tied and hidden away with white tape. The item is strapped around him like a sash, and seems to be a large, long rectangle. The boy has his face revealed after a panel or two, showing Hitachi. He continues walking for a bit, when, suddenly, a thug with a bandanna around his mouth walks out from behind a tree. The man has his hands in his pockets, and he confronts Hitachi from a distance.)

Thug: Hey, punk. I’ll have you know, this here is my turf. What brings yeh to this neck of da woods?

(Hitachi doesn't answer)

Thug: Hey, pal, I asked you a question. Or would you rather ...cut... to the chase?

(The thug pulls out a pocket knife from his pocket, and flips it open, showing it off. Again, Hitachi says nothing. This time, he takes a single step back, though.)

Thug: I want all yer valuables. Drop what you got and scram before I hav’ta use this… (Spins the knife around.)

Hitachi: Sir. Please move out of the way. You're annoying.

Thug: What? Kid, are you trying to smart mouth me? Ima make your cocky ass regret it!

(The thug rushes at Hitachi, with his knife pulled back, ready to stab Hitachi full force. Around  half a foot away from him, Hitachi suddenly ducks down, grabs the item off his back, and swings it at the Thug full force. This hits the Thug, sending him flying, back first, into a tree. He slams into it, and falls flat on his face. The scene now shows the bandages/ tape falling off of Hitachi’s item, which turned out to be his sword. By this point, his hood has fallen off, fully revealing his face and hair. The scene should show an emphasis on the sword, but still have Hitachi in the shot as he says this next line.)

Hitachi: What did I tell you? I swear, some people just don’t listen…

(The scene switches back to Yuki, who is now walking down a crowded sidewalk. The area around her is a city, with huge skyscrapers and shops all over the place. It should look like a typical busy city, think New York or Tokyo. She stops in front of a small store, which sticks out a bit more then the buildings around it. It is a medium sized convenience store called “Quick Zip’s”. She walks in, the doors sliding open on their own as she enters. She is sort of slouched over, with her coat covering her mouth. The store clerk, a man around his early twenties waves to Yuki.)

Clerk: Well, if it isn’t our favorite customer. Sup, Yuki!

(Yuki waves with a half assed smile, then walks to an aisle lined with potato chips. As she looks over the selection, another customer walks in. This one looks a bit rough, a sweatshirt with his hood pulled over and a bit of a beard growing on his face. He is around his forties. He checks around, not noticing Yuki, then goes straight for the counter where the clerk is. He slams his fist down on the counter, and pulls out a gun from underneath his sweatshirt.)

Thief: Open the register. NOW.

(The clerk is in shock, and he hesitates to open the register.)

Clerk: S-Sir. Please, there's no need for-

Thief: I said NOW.

(Yuki peaks from behind a shelf and sees the man, but her expression is still her usual moody self. She sighs, then walks over to the thief. The thief jolts around, and points the gun at her, startled.)

Thief: Who?! Hey, get on the ground kid! I’m not playing, I’ll *censored*ing kill you!

(Yuki stares at him for a second, then sighs. She then stares at the Thief with a serious expression.)

Yuki: Dude, if you were gonna shoot me, you would have done it already. No need to fool yourself.

Thief: Wha-

(Yuki looks to her left and lifts up a broom that was leaning against the wall. The Thief walks up to her, the gun trained on her head.)

Thief: Don’t you play games with me, you little bitch-

(At the word “Bitch”, Yuki swings the broom, bashing it against the head of the Thief. He goes flying, letting go of the gun and smashes into a shelf at the other end of the store. Yuki stares him down while he twitches, unable to get up.)

Yuki: Before you continue that sentence, I’d like you to ask yourself who the bitch here really is.

(Yuki turns to the shocked clerk, and sighs.)

Yuki: You guys out of Salt and Vinegar chips again?

(The clerk slowly shakes his head “yes”.)

Yuki: Figures. Well I guess I’ll just grab a chocolate bar or something…

(The scene now shows Yuki, with her coat slightly unzipped, with the chocolate in her mouth, her hands in her pockets, walking home. Then it shows cops rushing past her, heading to the store.)

Yuki: (That man asked me to stay and explain what happened… but…)

(A panel shows the clerk trying to explain to the cops as they handcuff the Thief.)

Yuki: (What's the point? I mean, it's not like there was anything in it for me. Anyone could have stopped that nobody. Everyone's Talent is good for that much, at least I’d hope so.)

(Yuki looks at her right hand as she walks and thinks to herself.)

Yuki: (Honestly, I hate Talents. If they didn’t exist, everyone wouldn’t be so special, so the people with real talent could shine instead of being left in the dust.)

(A brief description of Talents is on the side of this panel, perhaps a Chibi Yuki speaking?)

Brief Description: For the uninitiated, Talents are the special, unique traits almost every individual is born with, thanks to help from the Talent Tree! It can range anywhere from super speed to breathing fire! Stay tuned later for a more in-depth description.

(As Yuki is thinking to herself, a figure rushes past her, brushing her as they dash by, making her drop her chocolate. She turns and looks towards them somewhat startled, Showing Bryan running towards the crime scene. For a second she stares in shock, then looks down to see her chocolate wasted.)

Yuki: (What the…) Hey, watch where you're going, asshole!

(Bryan completely ignores her, screeching to a halt and turning to look inside the shop. He moves back a bit as the criminal is pushed out of the shop, and dragged off by the police. The panel of Bryan speaking should focus on him a bit because it's his first appearance.)

Bryan: Aw, I missed the action… where the hell are the Officers?

(Yuki stomps over to him and places her hand on his shoulder, extreamly pissed.)

Yuki: You see what I did to that guy? (Points towards the thief, being dragged off.)

Bryan: Huh? Wait, you stopped that guy!? I haven't seen you around befo-

(Bryan quickly shuts up as her grip tightens.)

Yuki: If you don’t buy me a new chocolate bar for the one you just made me drop, I’m going to pulverise you the same way.

Bryan: Uh… what chocolate?

(Yuki points to the bar, melting away on the cement of the sidewalk.)

Bryan: Wha- Oh jeez did I run into you or something?! Sorry, I always seem to be doing stuff like-

(Yuki raises her other hand in a fist and gets ready to punch Bryan.)

Yuki: New Bar. Now.

Bryan: Ok, ok! I get it! Just calm down, chick!

(Yuki pushes Bryan against his will into the store, and then the scene switches again to Hitachi, with his hood now off and sword unsheathed and planted firmly into the ground, leaning against a tree. He is a few feet from a tree with the Thug, tied down with the bandages/ tape that was on his sword.)

Hitachi: So, you know where the nearest village or town is?

Thug: Why should I tell you?!

(Hitachi’s eyes narrow, giving the Thug a death stare.)

Hitachi: Because if you don’t, I’m going to bash your skull in with a single swing, and nobody will know where I hid your corpse.

(The Thug, about to *censored* himself, gulps.)

Thug: Alright, alright! You're about a good mile from the nearest City. Its Toaru. You know the place?

HItachi: No, I don’t. What can I find there?

Thug: Well, it’s pretty big. Tons of shops and stuff. It’s famous for being right next to the University.

(Hitachi’s eyebrows raise slightly)

Hitachi: The one for the military?

Thug: Yeah, that's the one. I’d be careful, they have Officers patrolling those streets 24/7. If they even get a quick glance at that sword of yours, you can consider yourself screwed.

Hitachi: Right. Thanks, I’ll take note of that. Welp, that’s all I needed, I’ll be going now.

(Hitachi pulls up his sword with ease, and carries it as he walks away. The thug turns around with an expression that says “Are you serious?”)

Thug: Uh, Hey kid. You're gonna untie me, right?

(Hitachi stops and looks back.)

Hitachi: Eh, not feeling it. What's in it for me?

(The Thug’s jaw drops)

Thug: What do you mean “What's in it for me?” !? Just let me go already!

Hitachi: Hm… Oh, I know. You’ll be my escort.

(The Thug is then dumbstruck)

Thug: … huh?

(The scene switches to back to Yuki and Bryan, Yuki is opening a new chocolate bar, and Bryan is looking at her like shes crazy.)

Bryan: You do realise you threatened a dude you’ve never met before over chocolate, right?

(Yuki gives Bryan a very serious look, similar to Hitachi’s death stare.)

Yuki: It’s more than chocolate. It’s MY chocolate, making it all the more valuable.

Bryan: … you're weird.

Yuki: And you're rude. We can keep going all day dude.

(Bryan sighs, then looks back at the shop.)

Bryan: So were you the one who stopped that guy, or not?

Yuki: Hm? (Chocolate in her mouth.)

Bryan: The criminal, from earlier.

Yuki: Yeah. He was trying to act tough so I kicked his ass.

Bryan: Damn… are you a new Patrol Officer that transferred or something?

Yuki: What?

Byran: You know, you a Soldier? I feel like I would have seen you before, but maybe not. It is a pretty big city.

Yuki: Oh, like one of those military kids? Nah, I just go with the flow. Screw school.

Bryan: What?! But you clearly have an awesome Talent if you were able to stop that guy! You should apply!

Yuki: There's nothing special about it. It’s just some simple Strength. See?

(Yuki takes out a coin, and flips it with her pointer finger and thumb. It sky rockets into the air, and goes out of view for a bit. Bryan is in awe, and Yuki catches the coin as it shoots back to the ground.)

Yuki: Don’t you need some weird Talent to get into it?

Bryan: Well, that's not necessarily true. Even if it's just strength, it's how you use it that counts! Hey, I’m actually going to be applying soon myself, we should do it together! We would probably end up in the same test, but that only adds to the fun.

Yuki: There's a test for something like that? I never would have guessed- Hey wait, I don’t care! I’m not gonna sign up for it. It's a waste of time!

Bryan: Huh? You do something besides threaten people over chocolate?

(Yuki scratches her head for a second.)

Yuki: Well… No, I guess I just relax at home all day... But so what?

Bryan: Oh come on, aren't you bored?! Think of all the cool stuff you could do as an Officer!

Yuki: Like? Last time I checked they are just younger, glorified cops.

Bryan: Miss, you got yourself some learning to do. Listen, I’ve got to start heading home, but I want to convince you to sign up with me, so lets chat for a bit.

Yuki: Ugh...

(The scene switches to Hitachi and the Thug walking through the woods, conversing.)

Hitachi: So, what were you really doing out here.

Thug: What do ya mean?

Hitachi: I doubt you planned to rob people by yourself. Where's the rest of your group.

Thug: To be honest, scattered all over the forest. I’m part of this gang ran by this dude named Emilio, never met the guy, but I was invited to the group and decided I needed the cash. What's your story kid? Not everyday I meet a kid with crazy Talent like yours.

Hitachi: I’m just a runaway. Hated my parents, so I’m just trying to find a place to fit in. So far, not really working out.

Thug: With that strength, I’m surprised you didn’t just kill ‘em. You got guts kid.

Hitachi: I never said I didn’t respect them. I just hated them. I had no reason to harm them, so I just got up and left.

Thug: Well, If you need, I’m sure we got room for a dude like you. What do yah say?

Hitachi: Thanks, I’ll keep the offer in mind, but I like to keep a low profile. Actually, My plan for blending in was going to try and apply to that school you mentioned earlier. They got dorms for kids who don’t got places to spend the night, free food and shelter never hurt anybody. I’ll just drop out when I find something better.

Thug: Hmm, I see. Well, I guess that makes us enemies.

Hitachi: We weren't already?

Thug: Heh, guess your right. What's your name, kid? I’ll be sure to keep a look out for you.

Hitachi: Hitachi Justice. And I’ll try and follow your little crime syndicate as well. Who knows, maybe we'll run into each other some time.

(The scene ends with the backs of the characters on the path towards the city, in the forest. The scene switches back to Yuki and Bryan, sitting together outside the shop on a bench nearby.)

Yuki: You really want me to sign up that bad, huh?

(Bryan nods, with a determined face on)

Bryan: You seriously have some skill. The school could use people like you. Lets meet at the schools gates when the next exam rolls around next month.

Yuki:... Fine. I guess I can try it. But I still think it's stupid.

(Bryan grins stupidly as he fist bumps the air)

Bryan: Awesome! By the way miss, the names Bryan. Yours?

Yuki: Yuki. Yuki Versai.

Bryan: Well then, Yuki, I guess I’ll see you in a month! Don't skimp out on me!

Yuki: Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, I really don't have much else to occupy my time. I'll be there.

(Bryan gets up, stretches, and walks off. Yuki simply watches as he walks away. She is holding an empty chocolate bar wrapper in her hands.)

Yuki: (What a weird kid…)

(A clock in a nearby park starts to ring, and Yuki looks as if she forgot something.)

Yuki: *censored*! My Train!

(Yuki bolts in the opposite direction of Bryan.)


« Last Edit: December 12, 2017, 11:45:48 PM by PichuDX »

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2017, 05:33:20 AM »
Hello Nathan!

Searching up "Dragon Universe" lead to Dragon Ball results.
Here a topic about how to post images. 
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12761.0.html but looks like it's not fully working

Do you think its fear to give criticism and feedback if you taking parts of the chapter out because they are spoilers?
It's your story, you don't need to tell us the spoilers if you don't want to. But that makes the criticism and feedback pointless because part of the chapter missing.

Sound interesting tho

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2017, 06:55:50 AM »
Hello Nathan!

Searching up "Dragon Universe" lead to Dragon Ball results...

...It's your story, you don't need to tell us the spoilers if you don't want to. But that makes the criticism and feedback pointless because part of the chapter missing.

Thank you for the feedback, Not sure why it didn't pop up for you on Facebook. If your still interested in seeing our collection of art, perhaps try searching for our group page on Deviant Art instead (There's a link to the Facebook there) Hopefully that helps.
Also, my bad for not being clear enough, when I stated I removed spoilers, I meant note wise. For example if I wrote something that was only intended for me or the artists to understand how to draw something, but it would spoil something down the line, then I removed it. All of the original story is there, no worries! I haven't, and will not.
Not sure if the image will appear, but lets see if this works. If it does show, this is one of our earlier sketches of Yuki:
« Last Edit: October 30, 2017, 06:59:08 AM by PichuDX »

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2017, 08:13:32 AM »
Sorry, my bad. Make sense now.

Okay, I found your Deviantart page by Searching "PichuDX Dragon Universe"
You got some cool stuff on your facebook.

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2017, 08:32:13 AM »
Haha, thank you! It's mostly some promotional stuff and character designs, hopefully if I get the ok, I'll start posting the finished pages here as well.

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2017, 09:05:08 AM »
What do you mean "the ok"?
The ok from your team to post finished pages. Or the ok to post pages here on the forum?

Last time i checked its okay to post pages here, but I'm not sure.

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2017, 09:26:24 AM »
I mean the ok from here. My team is just as excited as I am to get the work out there, I just don't want to break any of the forums rules or anything like that, haha! If it's fine, I'll post the first 10 pages in a few minutes as a test run.

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2017, 09:48:18 AM »
[First 15 pages preview!]

( UPDATE - Put the images in a spoiler section to help make the forum seem more cleaned up and professional :3 )

I decided first 15 because I felt 10 wasn't enough to get the style across. (First 5 pages are Dream section)


« Last Edit: December 12, 2017, 11:44:54 PM by PichuDX »

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2017, 07:53:33 PM »
[Chapter 2 Post]

Hey, sorry for the delay guys but here's Chapter Two! Let me know what you think. To help you guys, I've posted images of the new characters that appear in the chapter, and will do so from now on. Because of my writing style, I probably just listed the name of the characters down without any description, so I suggest taking a look at the characters before reading. - Nate L.

Chapter 2: “Freeway”

(The scene opens up to the words “A few hours later” with Yuki, on a futuristic looking bullet train. The train is mostly empty, with about three other random people around. She’s reading a comic book. Her coat is zipped up, and she's sitting as far away as possible from the other passengers. One of the other passengers is Hitachi, with his cloak and hood on. His sword has its bandages on it again, keeping it hidden from the other passengers. One of the other passengers is an old man, Kimichi Regold, who’s reading a newspaper. He also has a briefcase, tucked under his seat. A simple panel should focus on it. The train seems to be doing fine, but after a shot of Regold reading, he looks concerned after hearing a knock from behind him. He turns his head to face the window, to see Teddy, waving. Startled, considering how fast the train is moving, Regold gets up and falls on his ass, facing Teddy. Yuki and Hitachi, both at opposite ends of that section of the train, notice Teddy. Teddy then chuckles to himself, places his hand gently on the glass, and within a split second blows the entire train off the rails. As the train is flying off, (by the way the train is up somewhere high, like an elevated railroad about halfway up skyscrapers,) Yuki is seen smacking into the back of the Train, and Hitachi is seen bracing himself for impact. The train, once it hits the ground, is on fire, with a wide shot of the crash. The train landed in an empty street, with other buildings nearby a bit damaged from the train’s impact. Yuki is seen, waking up after the crash on the ground. She is covered in soot and ash, and as she raises her head she sees Hitachi battling against Teddy, The scene she first sees is Hitachi, with his hood off, swinging his sword full force with one hand at Teddy, who simply repels it with his hand while grinning.)

Yuki:( What the… What the *censored* just happened?)

(Yuki focuses on Hitachi for a second.)

Yuki: (Who the hell is that? Is he an Officer?)

(Yuki suddenly places her hand on her forehead, wincing.)

Yuki: Ghaa… (Jeez, I must have hit my head at some point…)

(Yuki looks back at the train wreck behind her, and notices Regold still knocked out trapped inside.)

Yuki: Wait… Oh my god…!

(Yuki struggles in pain as she raises to her feet, wobbling. She starts to head for the wreck, towards Regold. The scene now shows Hitachi, sweating a bit and looking annoyed. Teddy is laughing wickedly.)

Teddy: Oh man, of all the people on the Freeway, I wasn’t expecting a student!

(Hitachi is bleeding a bit from the mouth, and as he wipes it he thinks to himself.)

Hitachi: (Who the hell is this guy, and what the hell is his Talent?!)

(A distorted image of Teddy, posed as if he's about to Repel something flashes in Hitachi’s mind.)

Hitachi: (I’ve never seen anything like it… It’s like my sword is bouncing off of him like it's made of rubber…)

Teddy: Hellooooo? You there hot shot? (Coming from out of view)

(Hitachi snaps back into reality, to Teddy in his face, his right palm an inch or so away from his face.)

Hitachi: Wha-?!

(Teddy repels Hitachi back, making him fly and crash besides Yuki, who was just pulling Regold out of the wreck. Yuki braces herself a bit, covering her face from the dust from Hitachi’s impact. When she looks, Hitachi is wounded severely, bleeding from his forehead, down. Most of his cloak has been blown away, with his normal outfit starting to tear.)

Yuki: Hey! You ok?!

(Hitachi slowly raises his head with a pissed off expression, not facing Yuki.)

Hitachi: Do I look ok!? Chick, whats your Talent?

Yuki: Huh?

(Hitachi turns only his head to face her, while still sitting in the debris of his crash.)

Hitachi: What’s your Talent? I’m trying to come up with a strategy.

Yuki: Well… um… I’m ok with a stick or sword but… I don’t-

Hitachi: Perfect. Just get behind that guy while I distract him, Ok?

Yuki: What?! Dude, I understand we aren't in the best situation, but this man needs help and-

(Hitachi’s eyes narrow.)

Hitachi: Do you want to die?

(Yuki shuts up, eyes widened and a bit shaken up.)

Hitachi: If not, do as I say and we might have a shot. Now once I charge at him, go. Got it?
(Yuki is still shaken up, but she nods. The scene switches to Teddy, who is now looking around the area.)

Teddy: Where the hell did I send that kid packing? I didn’t even mean to send him so far! Oh well, I guess he probably didn’t survive it, better contact-

(Teddy turns suddenly to see Hitachi, his sword swinging down at Teddy. Caught off guard, Teddy touches the ground and sends himself a few feet away, just in time to dodge the attack. Hitachi is breathing heavily, with a serious expression.)

Hitachi: (So that's it… His Talent. Then my plan will work.)

(Teddy looks pissed, holding his chest where his heart would be like he had a heart attack.)

Teddy: Dear god, you scared me, you goddamn cockroach! How the hell did you survive my attack!?

(Hitachi says nothing, but lowers his sword to about his knees, with the end of the sword facing Teddy.)

Teddy: You're not gonna get another chance like that, sorry to say. You’ve wasted enough of my time as it is.

(Teddy gets in position to launch himself at Hitachi, lowering his hands to the ground.)

Hitachi: Now! The legs!

(Teddy looks confused, raising up slightly, then turning his head around to see Yuki with a slim, steel bar from the debris. She sweeps the legs from behind, making Teddy trip and begin to fall. Before Teddy hits the ground, Hitachi rushes at him, his sword still lowered to his knees. Once Hitachi reaches Teddy, still charging at him, he starts to curve his sword up to try and catch Teddy.)

Teddy: (Yeah, ok!! I’ll just send that sword right back at you!)

(Teddy puts his hands out to try and stop the sword, but Hitachi curves the sword between Teddy’s arms, and raises his sword up, uppercutting Teddy. The force of the uppercut sends Teddy flying, so far that he lands a about a yard away from Hitachi and Yuki. All of this happened as Teddy was mid trip, by the way. The scene shows Teddy land with a loud thud, on his back. His face falls back to reveal he’s knocked out, defeated. Then it goes back to the other two. Yuki places the pipe down on the floor, using it as support to keep herself up. Hitachi plants his sword firmly in the ground, and walks over to Yuki, one hand on his hip. Even though he's bleeding severely, he keeps his composure. He looks at Yuki with concern.)

Hitachi: You alright? Come on, we need to get you to a doctor.

(Yuki looks at Hitachi in disbelief.)

Yuki: Me!? You're the one who's bleeding a damn waterfall!

(Hitachi looks confused, then touches his forehead, and looks at the blood on his hand. He doesn't appear to be phased by it.)

Hitachi: Huh, guess I am, aren’t I? Then I guess we both need to see a doctor.

(Yuki is speechless, but then remembers Regold, and turns towards where she left him. He is on the ground, slouched over by a wall of a building.)

Yuki: Our priority should be to help him out first, then ourselves. You seem fine *under her breath: Somehow* , do you mind carrying him?

Hitachi: No problem. Let’s go.

(Hitachi and Yuki go over to the unconscious Regold. Yuki is still using the pipe as if it was a crutch or cane. Hitachi bends down inspect the man, but then wobbles a bit.)

Yuki: Hey, you ok?

(Hitachi goes to grab his sword for support but his hand simply slides off and he falls unconscious. Yuki looks horrified, and she falls to her knees, pushing the pipe aside and attempting to tend to Hitachi.)

Yuki: *censored*, you lost way too much blood… what the hell was going through your head!?

(Yuki pushes some of his hair out of the way on his forehead and attempts to clean him up with her sleeve.)

Yuki: (I need to think of a way to get us help, and quick. These wounds are ridiculous. What the hell was that guy even after… and what was with those weird ears…)

(The scene shows over Yuki’s shoulder to show that Teddy has disappeared, before switching to a new scene where the cat form of Teddy is sprinting through some of the wreckage. Towards the front of the destroyed train, Shake can be seen sitting on a pile of rubble. He looks up as Teddy stops in front of him. Off panel, Teddy transforms back to his human form, looking pissed off, bleeding from the mouth a bit.)

Shake: Jeez, you ok Teddy? There wasn’t supposed to be soldiers on the train so-

(Still pissed, Teddy wipes the blood spilling from his mouth.)

Teddy: Well there were soldiers, two of ‘em. We need to clear out of here before backup arrives. You got the cargo?

(Shake reluctantly points besides him, to a briefcase with a bit of blood splatter on it.)

Shake: Yeah, I got it. The old guy was pretty hesitant to let it go, but I snatched it from him before anyone else noticed.

(Teddy nods, and sighs.)

Teddy: Alright then, Shake, then let’s book it back to Tai.

(Shake gets up, and Teddy transforms back to his cat from. Shake stays human, and the two walk into a nearby alley way, Shake with the briefcase in hand. The scene switches back to Yuki, who has taken off her coat entirely and tied it around Hitachi’s head, attempting to bandage the wound. She is now tending to Regold. As she is checking to see where he’s hurt, he starts to regain consciousness. He looks around for a second, somewhat out of it, then notices Yuki checking his chest, his coat unbuttoned for her to see. He blushes a bit, concerned.)

Regold: Um, miss? I think I might be just a bit too old for you…

(Yuki looks at Regold confused, then realized it looked as if she was checking him out, so she blushes a bit as well, and backs off a bit.)

Yuki: N- no way! Creep, do you even know where you are!?

(Regold looks around a bit more, and notices the train a few feet away from them. He sighs, and pulls out his glasses from his coat pocket, and slides them on as his middle finger positions them.)

Regold: So, that furball actually blew us clean off the tracks…

Yuki: You mean the huge guy? Yeah, I think so. I was unconscious for some time, so I have no clue what went down as soon as we hit the ground.

(Yuki looks over at Hitachi.)

Yuki: That dude over there saved both of our asses, I have no clue how…

Regold: I see. Well, I appear to be in decent shape thanks to you two, so I owe you a great deal. You appear to have had your fair share of trouble here as well, so let's see if we can’t find you guys a doctor.

(Regold slowly rises to his feet, Yuki somewhat surprised by his vitality.)

Regold: I’ll grab the boy, you go and see if you can find any help. I’ll be right behind you.

(Yuki nods, and heads off to find any help. Regold picks up Hitachi on his back, Hitachi’s sword on Hitachi’s back tied to him with his bandages. Before following after Yuki, he looks around one more time.)

Regold: (Yup, I knew it. That cat was after the research… I’ll have to fill the others in later.)

(The scene now switches to the three in the hospital, Regold watching over the kids while both are in beds side by side. Yuki is awake, but Hitachi is currently asleep. Yuki is sitting up, her coat on the end of the bed, still bloody from Hitachi. She’s staring at it. Regold sighs, then looks over at Yuki. He is sitting on a chair by her bedside.)

Regold: I should apologise to you two.

Yuki: Huh?

Regold: The whole train thing… that man was after my belongings.

(Yuki stares at Regold for a second.)

Yuki: What do you mean?

Regold: I think it might be best to introduce myself. I’m Kimichi G. Regold. I’m the head of Regold Science Inc.

(Yuki looks dumbfounded.)

Yuki: What!? No way, the Regold!? Your a legend!

(Regold scratches the back of his head and smirks a bit.)

Regold: I guess I’m a bit famous, aren't I? Sorry, I should have told you sooner, I think-

(Hitachi turns his head towards Regold, awake now but still lying down. He has bandages on his forehead and all around his chest.)
Hitachi: I’ve never heard of you. Mind explaining a bit?

(Regold’s glasses slide off his face a bit, and Yuki has a (T_T) expression on. Regold clears his throat, and adjusts his glasses with his middle finger again.)

Regold: Well, if you really don’t know, Regold Science is the world’s leading science research company. We specialize in everything, from simple day to day equipment to architectural things like buildings and railways, Like the Freeway we were on.

Hitachi: I see. Sorry, I’m not from around here. What is it that the Catman was after?

(Regold folds his arms.)

Regold: I was bringing some blueprints for a new vehicle design to one of my Labs, but that man took it. He’s probably planning on selling it or something…

(Regold sighs.)

Yuki: You should have told us while we were there! We could have gotten the blueprints back for you…

Regold: It’s fine, they weren't anything to special anyways. I’m more concerned about you two kids. When we checked into this hospital, neither of you were in the computer’s database. Mind explaining why you two don’t have any identification?

(Yuki looks away, avoiding the question.)

Yuki: Huh, oh jeez, looks like the other kid made a speedy recovery, huh?

Hitachi: The name’s Hitachi Justice. You?

Yuki: Um… Yuki Versai. Sorry, I guess we never really got to introduce ourselves.

Hitachi: You owe me. When the train initially crashed, I was the one who pulled you out when you were unconscious. Actually, you were out for quite a bit, I think you might have hit your head during the crash.

(Yuki blushes a bit.)

Yuki: Oh… well, Thank you. I guess I do owe you one.

Hitachi: You can pay me back by getting me into that school of yours, the military one. I want to become a Soldier, so If you could put in a word for me, that would be great.
(Yuki stares at Hitachi, a bit confused.)

Yuki: I’m, uh… I’m not a Soldier. I honestly thought you were one.

(Hitachi looks disappointed.)

Hitachi: What!? Ah man, I really thought I was going to get a free pass in… well, guess that's my fault for assuming.

(Regold stands up.)

Regold: Well, considering I owe the both of you my life, hows about I put in a word for the both of you? I’m a good friend of the principles. Him and I go way back, I’m sure he would consider you two greatly if I tell him about the whole Freeway incident.

(Both Yuki and Hitachi perk up.)

Yuki: Really, you’d do that for us? Thats awesome!

Hitachi: I’m down for that. Thanks Pops.

Regold:.. I’m not that old, kid. Anywho, yeah, I have to visit him tomorrow for the exams anyways, so how about you two rest up today, and attend tomorrow's written portion of the exam? The physical portion shouldn’t be for another week, so you’ll have time to heal up.

(Regold waves, and the others wave back as he exits the room. Hitachi sits up in his bed, and notices Yuki’s coat.)

Hitachi: Jeez, I didn’t notice all that blood before, are you going to be ok?

Yuki: You mean my coat? Actually, all that blood came from you… I used it to bandage you up.

Hitachi: O- Oh. I see. Sorry about the mess then, I guess.

(Yuki sighs.)

Yuki: It’s fine, I just hope it comes out easy. That coat means a lot to me.

(Hitachi stares at Yuki for a second, then at the coat.)

Hitachi: Was it a gift or something?

Yuki: Yeah, you could say that. Someone really special to me gave it to me when we parted ways a long time ago.

Hitachi: I see… I can respect that. My sword is something that's pretty special to me, for similar reasons.

(The chapter ends on a panel close up of Yuki’s bloody coat.)






« Last Edit: December 12, 2017, 11:42:32 PM by PichuDX »

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2017, 09:52:58 PM »
[Chapter 3 Post]

Long time no see! Sorry for the long pause, here's the third script! Also, all the character images are now there! They should be in order of appearance, more or less. Sorry if some things are grammatically off, I did a quick read through to fix a few things, but I may have missed a few :P - Nate L.


Chapter 3: “Introducing: Reihei Fukagawa!!!”

(The scene opens up on Fukagawa, his back to the reader. He is staring up at the school, from in front of the closed gates. His cloak appears to be flowing with the breeze.)

(Fukagawa’s chest is shown for a panel)

Fukagawa: I’ve finally made it…

(Fukagawa’s Book is shown for a panel, him tightly clutching it in his left hand.)

Fukagawa: After years of intensive studying and training…

(Fukagawa’s closed eyes with his glasses are focused on for a panel.)

Fukagawa: I’ll be able to prove myself…

(Fukagawa suddenly swings his right arm, extending his cloak out fully in some badass manner. He then, palm facing up, extends his right arm out in front of him in a full body shot, his left arm push back. the wind seemingly blowing directly in his direction. He looks seriously directly at the reader.)

Fukagawa: I’ll become the best student at Dragon University! I’ll climb my way to the top, Class 0, and become the strongest solider this world has ever seen! I am… Reihei Fukagawa!!!

(Suddenly, there is a clapping sound effect near Fukagawa. He becomes stone cold, still in his pose, he slowly turns his head awkwardly and some what pissed towards Lillian, who had been watching the entire time.)

Lillian: Great performance, Fukie! (Still clapping)

(Fukagawa stares at her for a second, his eye twitching.)

Fukagawa: Lillian, how many times do I have to tell you… don’t call me by that name anymore!

(Lillian holds her mouth as if surprised.)

Lillian: Oh, right! Sorry, Fukie, I forgot!

(Fukagawa stands normally again, fixing his glasses with his free index finger and sighs.)

Fukagawa: You just called me Fukie again…

(Lillian pretends to punch herself in the side of the head lightly)

Lilllain: Sorry! Just a bad habit, I guess!

Fukagawa: Whatever. Just stay as far away from me as possible, and maybe no one will notice.

(Lillian makes a pouty face.)

Lillian: Oh don’t be like that! You act like I’m the only one who saw you do that just now.

(Fukagawa looks around to see the other kids waiting by the gate. Poi is trying not to laugh by covering his mouth, Tetsuya is nearby with Faith, Tetsuya shaking his head, smirking and Faith giggling to herself. Fukagawa looks embarrassed.)

Fukagawa: You… you gotta be kidding me…

(Mr. Tempora suddenly appears, towering over Fukagawa and Lillian. He’s looking down at them.)

Mr. Tempora: Cut the crap. The exams start soon, you best be ready to fail, worm.

(Fukagawa looks as if he is about to have a heart attack, stumbling forwards as he turns to see Mr.Tempora. Lillian simply steps back a bit.)

Lillian: Are you one of the teachers here, Mr?

(Mr.Tempora goes to open the gate, as he does he looks back at Lillian.)

Mr.Tempora: I am the commanding officer of class A, yes. You will refer to me as Mr.Tempora. Nothing less.

Lillian: Yes sir!

Mr.Tempora: What did I just say...

(Mr.Tempora sighs and swings the massive gate open with a single shove. A panel shows all of the students around the gate looking up at the school building, both in awe and with determination. Separate panels show a focus on separate students. Poi, who is in a crowd of other students, is smirking. Tetsuya and Faith are together. Faith looks in awe while Tetsuya looks bored, both looking towards the gate. Fukagawa and Lillian are together as well. Lillian has a stupid, determined grin on her face, and Fukagawa looks pissed, but determined. Other, random students are scattered around as well, about a single panel showing them all looking towards the school. In the back, Taro has his scarf up, his head down and slowly walking to meet the students who are walking in. Even further back, after most of the students have walked through the gates, Yuki can be seen casually walking along with Hitachi, Hitachi still with some bandages around his forehead. Hitachi looks tired, and Yuki looks some what worried.)

Yuki: Looks like we just made it. What a relief, thought we were going to be late…

(Hitachi moves ahead and stops in front of Yuki, turning to face her.)

Hitachi: listen…

Yuki: Huh…?

(Hitachi gets serious all of a sudden. A slightly larger panel than normal should be dedicated to the next scene.)

Hitachi: Shut up.

(Yuki is speechless, and confused.)

Yuki: Wha-?

Hitachi: I appreciate your help, and believe me, I want to be your friend, But…

(Hitachi looks towards the school.)

Hitachi: Once we pass those gates, you're my rival. Not everyone makes it to the top, and I have no intention of going easy on you. You better not hold back if we are put against each other, because I will not hesitate to crush you. Do you understand?

(Yuki is in a bit of shock, but then gets somewhat serious.)

Yuki: Y- Yeah. Your right. I guess we are enemies the second the exams start.

(Hitachi starts to walk away, towards the school.)

Hitachi: Good, you get it. Well, good luck I guess.

(Yuki watches him walk off, then looks as if she just died.)

Yuki: (That was… scary! What a jerk!)

(Yuki shakes it off, and looks toward the school with determination.)

Yuki: (He’s right, though. If I’m going to make it to the top, I can’t afford to go easy on him, or anyone for that matter. Speaking of anyone… where the hell is that other kid?)

(Yuki looks around as she walks towards the school at the stranglers walking with her, and can’t spot Bryan. When she mentions Bryan, a silly, cartoonish drawing appears in her head of him for a panel. A final panel of the school shows before changing scenes to a large gymnasium. A makeshift podium has been made in the far right, with a mic attached. Multiple teachers, including Mr. Tempora, Mr. Vincent, Vivi, Caitie, Kikibo and Bibiko are waiting around, instructing kids to stand in the center, and face the podium (Most won’t have too much focus on them, just simple back or low quality shots of them in the background. This should take up two- three panels.) Yuki walks in, and looks around. She walks over to the crowd, towards the back row. In the mess of the crowd, Fukagawa and Lillian are towards the middle.)

Fukagawa: When the hell is this starting? It’s taking forever!

Lillian: We’ve only been here for like… five minutes…

(Suddenly, snaking through the crowd, Tetsuya moves up behind Fukagawa, he bumps into him with his shoulder, and Tetsuya moves back a bit. Fukagawa turns around, annoyed.)

Fukagawa: Hey, watch where you're going! Its crowded enough!

Tetsuya: Hmm? Oh, sorry man. Didn’t mean too!

(Tetsuya puts his hands in his pocket.)

Tetsuya: Your that clown that was spouting some weird stuff out front, right?

(Fukagawa looks (and is) offended.)

Fukagawa: What? Clown!?

Tetsuya: You said something like, “I’m going to be the best!”... at least I think that's what I heard. I was kind of laughing at you, so I didn’t catch the whole thing.

Fukagawa: Errrr…. Yes, that is what I said, because I will be the best. Got a problem with that?

Tetsuya: Actually, Yeah. I do have a problem with that. Last time I checked, I’m going to be the best.

(Fukagawa’s eyes narrow.)

Fukagawa: If you're looking for a fight, save it for the exams, chump.

(Tetsuya puts his right hand up, as if surrendering.)

Tetsuya: Alright, alright! I get it! Just do your best, ok…?

(Tetsuya, his right hand still out, starts to walk by Fukagawa. As he passes by, Tetsuya pats Fukagawa on the back. As he does, Fukagawa slams full force into the ground, as a result of Tetsuya’s Talent. Lillina backs away, her hand covering her mouth and in shock. The other students around also clear a small area where Fukagawa fell. Tetsuya smirks.)

Tetsuya: Chump.

(As Tetsuya says this, a full page is dedicated to an upper body shot of him smirking, his hand, palm down, taking prominence. His name, Kaichi Tetsuya, is displayed, with the words “Talent: Repel!” underneath his name.)

(Fukagawa starts to raise his head, his hair a bit messed up. He looks extremely pissed.)

Fukagawa: You…

Tetsuya: Oh! Sorry! I forgot, sometimes it's hard to control my Talent! Please forgive me~!

(Tetsuya flips Fukagawa off as he walks away, deep into the crowd ahead. Lillian rushes over and helps Fukagawa up.)

Lillian: You ok, Fukie?

(Fukagawa wipes a bit of blood spilling from his mouth. He is starring Tetsuya down, with a murderous intent.)

Fukagawa: I’m going to kill that bastard. I swear it.

(The scene switches back to Yuki, who is looking around in the crowd. She is moving through it, trying to avoid bumping into anyone, when she accidently is shoved into Taro, who was also in the back. Taro turns around, a bit surprised. Yuki panics a bit, waving her hands.)

Yuki: So sorry! Some jack ass pushed me, I didn’t mean to disturb you-!

(Taro raises an eyebrow, then shrugs.)

Taro: Don’t worry about it.

(Yuki sighs.)

Yuki: Phew… Hey, have you seen a stupid kid with a headband around? He might have on a stupid grin?

(The silly cartoon Bryan appears once more in Yuki’s head.)

Taro: Hmm… I’ve been trying to stake out the competition, but I havn’t seen anyone like that. Sorry. If I see him, I’ll let him know you were looking for him. Um, just so I know what to tell him, what’s your name and Talent?

Yuki: Oh, well I’m Yuki Versai, my talent is-

(Yuki suddenly looks at Taro in fear and shock as she speaks. She suddenly stops and covers her mouth. Taro takes down his scarf and smiles at her.)

Taro: Clever girl, Yuki. I guess you figured out my plan?

Yuki: You… You were trying to figure out my Talent, weren't you?

(Taro chuckles a bit.)

Taro: Correct, you're the first person to have figured it out! I can tell, you're going to be a great opponent.

(Yuki sighs and smiles a bit.)

Yuki: I’m surprised I’m the only one who’s picked up on it. Well, thanks anyways, sorry for bothering you.

(Yuli starts to walk away, when Taro points towards the right.)

Taro: Hold up. I was lying about not noticing the kid. His names Bryan, right? He fell for my trick a few minutes ago, he's standing over there.

Yuki: Huh? (Bryan does seem like the type of idiot to fall for something like that…) Oh, thank you so much… um, what was your name?

(Taro chuckles some more and pulls his scarf back up.)

Taro: Nice try. You’ll find out soon enough, I’m sure.

(Yuki looks a bit flustered, and waves.)

Yuki: Hehe, I was being serious, but alright!

(Yuki starts to walk off towards the area Taro pointed towards, and sure enough, as some soon to be students clear out of the way, Yuki can see Bryan laughing with another figure. Their face can’t be made out, but they have dark purple, spiky hair, similar to Bryan’s. They are wearing a long white coat, making him look like a doctor. He is definitely older than most of the people in the room, perhaps a few years younger than Regold. Yuki looks a bit puzzled by it.)

Yuki: (Wonder who that is…)

(As Yuki is a few feet away from the two, the lights go off, leaving everyone in complete darkness. There are gasps from most of the students, and some panicking. The scene switches to Lillian, who starts to produce a small flame within her hand for light. Once the flame is fully developed in her palm, an entire page is dedicated to her, showing her lit up by the flame, in the darkness. Her name, “Lillian Gardner” along with “Talent: Producing Flames!” are listed on the page. She looks over at Fukagawa, who seems to be one of the only other students not panicking. He is staring at the podium, and as she turns to face it, she can make out a broad, tall silhouette of a man, standing there with his arms crossed. Lillian looks in a bit of shock, right before the lights turn back on, revealing Hirigo, the Principal, as the man who was standing at the podium. The other teachers are standing behind him, in a row with their backs up against the wall, standing up straight. They all appear serious, even Bibiko and Caitie, who are typically light hearted. Lillian’s flame is suddenly snuffed out by a stranger, and as she jerks away from the person, while bumping into Fukagawa in the process, the stranger is revealed to be Mr. Chase (“Hat”), standing tall and smiling warmly.)

Mr. Chase: Miss, the assembly is about to begin. Let’s save our Talents for the Exams, ok?

(Lillian still looks a bit nervous, but nods and turns back to face the podium. Mr. Chase walks away, through the crowd and up with the rest of the teachers as Hirigo begins. Hirigo nods to Mr. Chase as he walks past, Mr. Chase giving him a small wave. Hirigo clears his throat, the light shining and reflecting off of his visor. A few shots of the students watching in some awe, especially the major ones. They should look as if they are ready to pay attention. Hirigo is standing up tall, with a s warm but fierce smile on his face, his hands behind his back. The other teachers also have their hands behind their backs.)

(Note to whoever is creating the panels for this following speech: This speech should be cut up into multiple panels, please feel free to take multiple shots of both the students and faculty listening to Hirigo speak.)

Hirigo: My students, I’ve gathered you here today to discuss your potential future here at Dragon University. As many of you may already know, we are the world's leading school for preparing Talented individual’s, such as yourself, for a life of justice! Before we begin going over what we expect of you during the exams, I’d like to thank each and everyone of you for taking this great risk, it shows us you are willing to go great distances to better yourselves! We here at DU are all ready to help you fulfill your personal academic and life goals, and go even further beyond your wildest expectations. Now then, Seeing you all here today means each and everyone of you passed the written exam with at least passing grades.

(Yuki looks a bit relieved. A single panel is dedicated to a flashback of Regold giving a laid back thumbs up as she speaks to herself in her head.)

Yuki: ( Thanks to that geezer, Hitachi and I were able to take the written exam in the hospital. I have no clue how he convinced such an uptight school to agree to something like that…)

Hirigo: Now, your academic achievements don’t really reflect your abilities on the battlefield, however being able to think rationally, as well as being able to think critically about your situations are important parts of being a great soldier. To be blunt though…

(Hirigo looks to the side, sweating a bit.)

Hirigo: We kind of make that written part pretty easy, so if you got a perfect score, it really doesn't mean much…

(A quick scene of Fukagawa, looking a bit pissed and at a loss for words, with Lillian giggling a bit, is shown.)

Hirigo: The real test… Is the physical exams. A true test of your skills and quick thinking.

(Hirigo smirks a bit.)

Hirigo: I hope you don’t mind me pointing you out young lady…

(Hirigo points towards Lillian, who is now blushing a bit.)

Hirigo: This young lady used her Talent, which appears to be summoning fire at will, to light up the room when we intentionally made it pitch black. It was an early test, some free points, and she was the only one of you who passed.

(The other students looks a bit pissed or flustered, some eyeing Lillian as she tries to cower behind Fukagawa.)

Hirigo: You kids need to be ready for any situation, that was a simple example. Now, lets discuss the physical exams. There are two phases to the exams. The first phase will be used to knock students out of the final roster of students joining the school this year, the second phase will help show us what class you should be put in. During the first phase, all of you will be subject to a major event, all at once. We will simulate an attack that a criminal would create, and you will prove yourselves by collecting points and escaping the simulation as quick as possible. Think of it as a simple rescue training. Your points will come from the gathering of ragdolls, based around different civilians, as well as the time it took you to escape with them. You must exit the simulation with your “civilians” for them to be counted as points. Any questions so far?

(Hitachi, who is now in the middle of the crowd, raises his hand. Hirigo points to him.)

Hitachi: It's not so much of a question as it is just confirmation, but to my understanding, If you you do not collect enough points, you won’t be permitted into the school?

Hirigo: Thats correct. Currently, there are about 250 of you standing in this room right now…

(There should be a pause/ break between the next panel, perhaps showing the students gazing up at Hirigo.)

Hirigo:... By the time this first phase is done, I’m guessing around 50, at most, will remain.

(The students are in shock. A shot of Hitachi, a bit lost for words, is shown, followed by a shot with Yuki also looking shocked.)

Yuki: (50 students... at most!? That’s insane! That means at least 200 students here won’t make it?!)

(A shot of Fukagawa, a bit of sweat running down the side of his face is shown. He has his head slightly turned towards Lillian, who is giving him her full attention.)

Fukagawa: How the hell are 250 students supposed to be tested physically, all at once? The exam makes enough sense, but where in the hell will they be sticking this many people?

( A shot of Tetsuya is shown next, from the ground up, with a bored expression on his face. He doesn't say anything, he is just acknowledged.)

Hirigo: Before we begin, we are aware that not everyone of you has come prepared with battle gear, whether that was a result of being lazy or not being able to afford it doesn't matter. We will escort those who need equipment to the school armory, while the rest of you prepare on your own in the locker rooms. Please meet us outside the school in 30 minutes!

(Hirigo motions for Caitie, who happily walks over to the podium.)

Caitie: Heyo~! How’s everyone doing today~?

(Some students gawk at Caitie, a panel with Taro is shown afterword.)

Taro: (A… cat?)

Hirigo: This is Caitie, our blacksmith. Please follow Ms.Caite to the Armory. You are all dismissed.

(The students start to leave, and while the gym clears out, Yuki walks over to Bryan, who is now on his own, tightening his headband.)

Yuki: Hey, kid! Its me, Yuki!

(Bryan looks over, then grins stupidly.)

Bryan: There you are! Were you here the whole time? Couldn’t find yah!

Yuki: Didn’t really look like you tried to hard, you were talking with that man right before the assembly.

Bryan: Huh? Oh, that was just Nomuri! Don’t be afraid of him, couldn’t hurt a fly!

Yuki: He didn’t scare me… the assembly just sort of stopped me before I could-

(From the front of the gym, Caitie waves.)

Caitie: Alright, do I have everyone?

Yuki: Ugh. We’ll have to catch up later.

(Yuki runs off to catch up with the group while Bryan waves. The chapter ends with a final scene of Fukagawa eyeing Tetsuya while walking in the halls towards the locker rooms.)

Fukagawa: (I’ll make sure to show that prick who’s boss. Just wait until the exam...)

End Chapter

Reihei Fukagawa

Lillian Gardener



Ivan Tempora

Taro K.

Drea Vincent

Vivian "Vivi" Contesta




Principle Hirigo

Fredrick "Hat" Chase

« Last Edit: December 13, 2017, 12:02:40 AM by PichuDX »

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2017, 12:10:40 AM »
[Chapter 4 Post]

Hey guys! Let's see if I can keep a fairly decent upload schedule! Here's chapter 4, along with the weapon that belongs to Fukagawa and the weapon Lillian chooses for the exam. (No no characters this time, well, besides Yuki's new friend~...) Also, to answer to any concerns as to where the Faith and Reiner (both characters who where briefly mentioned) concept art is, we are currently re working them. - Nate L.


Chapter 4: “Preparation”
(The chapter opens on Yuki in the middle of a small group of kids. Poi, Reiner, Taro, and Hitachi are also within the mix. They are walking through normal looking school hallways, on the ground floor. They are heading to the back of the building. Yuki looks as if she's pondering something, when suddenly the students start to come to a halt. She looks past one of the other students and sees the doors to the Armory. The doors are huge, metal slabs decorated with metal designs running down the sides. The doors don’t seem to fit well with the school's design, as if it was shoehorned in after the school was built. Caitie is standing in front of the doors, with a stupid cat grin on her face.)

Caitie: Alright kitties! (Put a little :3 cat face in the speech bubble next to kitties.)

Yuki: (Woah… that's the armory? I figured it would have been a building outside of the school, or a locker room… or something like that.)

Caitie: Behind these doors is the Armory. It’s basically my classroom!

Hitachi: (What kind of class takes place in an armory? What the hell is up with this school...)

Caitie: You can have a look around, but don’t touch anything without my purr-mission!

(Taro sighs.)

Taro: (She's… really annoying…)

Caitie: All joking aside though...

(Caitie’s expression becomes serious for a second.)

Caitie: Don’t you dare touch a thing without my say so.

(Some of the children gulp as Caitie turns around to open the doors. She gives them a strong shove, and the doors swing open, a bright light blinding some of the students at first. Yuki tries to shield her eyes, and once she's adjusted, peers in.)

Yuki: (What the-)

(The Armory is now shown, given at least half a page to show it off. The room is both huge and long, almost as if they had entered another building entirely. The walls and floor are made of a completely different material than the rest of the school. The floor is hard concrete, with wells full of what seem to be lava jutting out of the floor behind Caitie’s desk, in the far corner of the room. The Armory walls are completely different. They were somewhat fancy, as if they were the walls of some fancy mansion (like Yuki’s.) The walls were lined with all sorts of strange and obscure weaponry, from hammers with blades attached to double bladed scythes (Some examples, whoever does this page feel free to go crazy :P) There are tables set up around the room, as well as weapon racks, full of the same kind of weaponry and battle gear. The children are gazing at the room in awe for a few seconds, before Poi pushes his way through the crowd and directly  up to Caitie. Caitie smiles at him while he looks around.)

Poi: So miss, we can take whatever we want here into battle?

Caitie: Well, you're limited to just one, but yes. I’m actually supposed to let you kids know that before going into the actual exams I’ll need to make the weapons a bit safer, so no one gets too hurt. Of course during training and actual field work, the safety measures will be removed.

(Although Poi was listening, he started to wander off, looking over a weapon set on a nearby table.)

Poi: I see. Cool.

Caitie: I’ll be over at my desk if anyone needs me! Remember, you’ll have to pick something that benefits your skills and Talent! Don’t choose something just because you think you’ll look cool or scary with it, no one likes a show off! Make sure to check the gear out with me before leaving the Armory!

(Caitie starts to walk off, and the students start to flood in and look around. Hitachi follows Caitie to her desk, his sword tied up and on his back. Yuki sort of stalls for a second before walking in, then starts to gaze at some of the weapons.)

Yuki: (Ugh, now what? I’ve never attended school before, so I don’t know for sure what my Talent even is… what the hell do I choose?)

(Yuki looks at her right hand, palm up. She has on a concerned expression, and in the background, Taro can be seen staring at her. He's out of frame while the focus is on Yuki, then a panel is dedicated to showing him watching her. Then he is caught off guard when a giant hammer is suddenly dropped on his head. He cries out in pain, then looks over his shoulder to see Lillian, who for some reason hadn’t been seen up until this point.)
Lillian: Gah! Sorry! I- I didn’t think it would be that heavy!!

(Lillian looks devastated, more so than Taro.)

Taro: Its- it's alright! Don’t cry or anything over it! It didn’t hurt that much… (Yes it did…)

Lillian: You sure? I mean… If you say so.

(Taro’s face then shows a bit of interest.)

Taro: Wait… aren’t you the girl the principle singled out during the assembly?

(Lillian blushes and tries to change the subject.)

Lillian: Well, anywho! Sorry to bother you!

(She turns to put the hammer back.)

Taro: (Just by the way she acts I can tell…)

(Focus is put on Lillian while she figures out how to remount the hammer onto the wall.)

Taro: (She got those bonus points from sheer luck.)

Taro: Why are you even trying to grab a hammer to begin with?

Lillian: Huh? I don’t know…

(Lillian takes her hand, makes a fist, and smacks it into her other hand, as if she was trying to nail something in. She has a bright expression on her face.)

Lillian: I thought a fire hammer would be awesome!

(Taro looks lost.)

Taro: Right… (Definitely luck.)

Taro: Listen, if you're looking for a weapon, then you should find something that will benefit the fire you can produce, not the other way around.

Lillian: What?

Taro: If your Talent is creating fire, then pick something that goes well with that. Don’t choose something like that hammer just because you think the fire will make the hammer look cool. Does that make sense?

(Lillian looks clueless and lost, but she nods slowly.)

Lillian: Y- Yeah! I get it!

(Taro has an expression like this ? T_T on)

Taro: (She doesn't get it at all…)

Taro: Just come with me, I’ll help you pick out a weapon.

(Lillian’s eyes light up.)

Lillian: Really?! Thank you… um…

(Lillian looks lost again.)

Lillian: Who are you again?

Taro: My name's not important. Here, just follow me.

(Taro grabs Lillian’s wrist and starts to walk off with her, her face still looking a bit clueless. The scene switches to the Locker Room, where Fukagawa is sitting on a bench, reading some of his book. He appears to be studying it. Tetsuya notices it while talking with Faith, and walks over to him.)

Tetsuya: Hey, Foureyes. Whatcha’ got there?

(Fukagawa looks up, a bit annoyed.)

Fukagawa: None of your damn business. Buzz off.

(Tetsuya peers over to see what Fukagawa’s reading. Then he has a confused expression on his face. A panel showing illegible symbols on the pages is shown.)

Tetsuya: What language is that? Is that EVEN a language?

Fukagawa: Kid, I’m going to smack you if you don’t *censored* off.

(Tetsuya snatchs Fukagawa’s book from him, and flips through the pages. Fukagawa gets up to grab it back, but then is blown back by Tetsuya’s free hand, sending him smacking back first onto the ground.)

Tetsuya: All the pages are like this… Seriously Foureyes what the hell is this thing?

(Faith steps in, and bends down to help Fukagawa up.)

Faith: Sorry about Kaichi, he’s a bit of a jerk sometimes...

(Fukagawa slaps Faith's hand away and gets up on his own.)

Fukagawa: “Sometimes” sounds a bit generous, no?

(Tetsuya is studying the pages.)

Tetsuya: Nah, I’m a great guy. Here, I’ll even give you your stupid book back.

(Tetsuya goes to hand the book back to Fukagawa, but then holds it up in front of himself, aimed at Fukagawa’s face. He then puts his free palm on the book, and launches it at Fukagawa, smacking him square in the face, causing him to stumble back a bit and to have a bit of a nose bleed.)
Fukagawa: Gha! Ow, you prick, that *censored*ing hurt!!

Tetsuya: Sorry, you said save it for the exam earlier…. But honestly I have so much skill I really can’t help it.

(Fukagawa starts to grind his teeth, and simply holds the book out stretched in front of himself, opening to a page in it.)

Fukagawa: Alright asshole, you asked for it. You want a fight? I’ll give you one…

(suddenly, Fukagawa’s cape starts to flow upwards rapidly. A magic circle starts to take shape underneath Fukagawa’s feet. Tetsuya looks more confused than worried, and Faith is stepping back. The next panel shows Fukagawa mouthing the next line.)

Fukagawa: Death Spell Number 18…

(The panel after that is a full page. This depicts Fukagawa, with a completely dead serious look on his face. He has one hand with his book outstretched, the pages flapping wildly with a whirling wind. His other hand is hovering above the book, with a small electric charge forming in right below his palm. There is text on the page reading “Name: Reihei Fukagawa!” Under that, “Talent: Magic Tongue: Spellcaster!!!” The magic circle is fully formed under him, and he starts to point a finger at Tetsuya. Tetsuya suddenly realises what's going on, and gets ready to dodge. With the next line, Fukagawa looks as if he is out for blood.)

Fukagawa: Armor Piercer!!!

(A thin, straight beam of electricity shoots rapidly out from his out stretched finger, aimed for Tetsuya’s heart. Tetsuya smacks his right palm on the locker behind him, pushing/ Repelling himself out of the way just in time, a sudden expression of fear on his face. His hood flies off in the process.)

Tetsuya: (*censored*!)

(Faith has her hand over her mouth in shock, and the beam continues to pierce the locker that was behind Tetsuya, creating a clean cut hole straight through it.)

Vivian: HEY!!!

(Vivian rushes from another part of the locker room over to the fight, which has started to gather a small crowd.)

Vivian: What the hell is going on over here?!

(Tetsuya is sweating a little bit, and points to Fukagawa.)

Tetsuya: That little *censored* is using that weird cheat sheet to summon some funky *censored*! He tried to kill me!

(Vivian punches Tetsuya over the head, and he winces and rubs the impact.)

Vivian: Don’t use that kind of language in front of me. And as for you…

(Vivian stares at Fukagawa, who is now in a bit of shock, in a less epic stance from a few seconds ago.)

Vivian: Try something like that again and you won’t even make it to the First Phase. Are we clear?

(Fukagawa looks annoyed, but sighs.)

Fukagawa: Y- Yes Ma’am…

(Vivian looks at both of the kids, then turns back to return to what she was doing. Tetsuya narrows his eyes towards Fukagawa.)

Tetsuya: Alright Foureyes, I didn’t think you had the balls to try something like that. I’ll cut you some slack till the main event.


(Fukagawa simply stares at Tetsuya and Faith as they walk off, Tetsuya still rubbing his head.)

Fukagawa: (Hmph. Serves him right.)

(The scene switches back to the Armory, where Hitachi is walking up to Caitie’s desk. Caitie has her head in her crossed arms, resting on the table, seemingly asleep.)

Hitachi: Um… Excuse me?

(Hitachi pokes Caitie’s ear, and it twitches for a second before she yawns and raises her head slightly.)

Caitie: Hmm? Sorry sweetie, I was taking a quick catnap.

Hitachi: Well… I actually brought my own weapon…

Caitie: Then why did you come down here? You should be in the Locker Rooms getting-

Hitachi: Well, the thing is… I’m not sure it’s ok for me to use it…

(Caitie laughs a bit.)

Caitie: Nonsense! Don’t you see the weapons all over the place?! Surely yours isn’t anything to worry about. Here, show it to me.

(Hitachi looks a bit concerned, sighs, then takes the wrapped sword from off his back and rips the bandages off of it. Caitie looks a bit shocked, not expecting it to be the thing on his back. A few of the near by students turn their heads and gawk at Hitachi’s sword.)

Hitachi: Here it is…

(Caitie’s mouth is wide open, astonished.)

Caitie: Whoa, wait THAT’S your weapon!? How the hell did you carry that thing around the school!?

( A full page is dedicated to Hitachi, who looks a bit embarrassed. He is scratching his cheek with his free hand, while the hand with his sword is planting the sword firmly on the ground. The words “Name: Hitachi Justice!” are listed, with “Talent: Incredible Strength!!” are listed below it.)

Hitachi: My Talent is strength, so It's not really an issue for me.

Caitie: Yeah but… Even people who are given a Strength Talent would struggle to carry something like that!

Hitachi: Yeah, I guess it just sort of runs through my family…

Caitie: Huh, if you say so kid. Well, let me see it and I’ll let you know whether or not you can use it.

(Hitachi lifts the sword with one arm and slams it flat on Caitie’s desk. Caitie inspects it for a few panels, feeling around it and looking at every angle of it. Then, she puts on a big smile.)

Caitie: This sword is a real work of art! Do you have any idea who crafted this? I’d love to meet them!

Hitachi: Heh, actually I’m not to sure about that myself. It’s been a family treasure for a while now, though I’ve never really thought to ask about it.

Caitie: I see, thats a shame. Well, the sword is mostly blunt, not really sharp in any places. It's more like a big, slim piece of thick metal! I don’t see why you can’t use it. If any of the testing gets too  intense, we are always standing by to pull students out.

Hitachi: I see. Well, thank you!

(Hitachi bows, and Caitie giggles a bit.)

Caitie: No need to be so modest! It's a great piece of work, I can’t wait to see the both of you in action. Now then, how's about we-

(From the corner of Caitie’s eye, she notices Yuki in the very back of the room. Yuki is simply looking through some weapons, not really picking up anything, just thinking.)

Caitie: Hmm. Actually, I think I may need to help out another student… You head up to the Locker Rooms, ok?

Hitachi: Alright, thank you again for your help.

(Hitachi starts to leave the Armory, as Caitie picks up a small hammer from under her desk. As she comes back up, she sees Yuki eyeing the Ice Katana, at the very corner of the room.)

Caitie: (She's not going to…)

(Yuki starts to head over to it, and in grabbing distance, looks it over a bit. Caitie looks a bit nervous, and as she exits from behind her desk, Yuki places a hand on the grip of the Katana. Caitie appears to be in complete shock, and suddenly dashes towards Yuki.)


(Yuki turns her head towards Caitie, but is instantly taken away from that when ice starts to spill from the holster of the katana. Yuki turns her head back towards the katana, and as she does, with Caitie almost close enough to pull Yuki away, the Ice Katana’s holster starts to rapidly spew out Ice and snow, almost blinding Yuki. Yuki shields her eyes with her free arm, and when she puts her arm down, her jaw drops. All around her, for miles, is snow and ice, a barren wasteland. It appears that she was transported to a completely different location then the armory. Yuki drops the sword, as it was suspended in the air by her hand, and it softly thuds into the snow. Yuki stumbles back and falls on her ass into the snow, eyeing the katana in shock. After a few seconds of trying to catch her breath, Yuki starts to realise how cold it is. She starts to shiver, and hugs herself to keep warm.)

Yuki: (What the hell is going on…! Where am I!?)

(Suddenly, the katana starts to gently rise up. Yuki stares at it, a bit frightened, as the katana fixes itself to become placed in the snow, vertically up so the grip it facing the sky. Yuki gets up slowly, still freezing, and stares at it while trying to keep herself warm. Yuki starts to take a few steps towards it, when she instantly freezes in place. Unable to move, Yuki looks down to see her legs, up to her ankles, are completely frozen solid. In a bit of a panic, Yuki tries to pull her legs free, but with no success. Then, she hears a voice in her head, causing her to look around.)

Katana: (I see. So another fool has stumbled into my domain…)

Yuki: (Huh?!) Hey! Who said that!?

Katana: (Hush. There's no reason to shout. No one can hear you but I.)

(Yuki slowly starts to realise whats going on, and still in a bit of disbelief, looks directly at the Katana.)

Yuki: So this was your doing… mind explaining whats going on?

Katana: (I could, but it wouldn’t matter. You’ll probably freeze to death before I could give you a fair answer.)

Yuki: What?

(Yuki looks down at her legs, and notices that the ice is slowly starting to grow and rise.)

Yuki: Hey! Stop it! The hells your issue!?

Katana: (I could ask the same of you. Why did you grasp me with your unworthy hands?)

Yuki: (Oh… I’ll show you worthy…) I don’t know… I liked the look of the katana, that's all. I don’t understand what the big deal is.

Katana: (The problem is that I don’t like to be touched.)

(Yuki’s face suddenly becomes confused, as if she was Lillian.)

Yuki: Wait… you’re a weapon that doesn't like being held? Isn’t that a bit counterproductive?

Katana: (Don’t play with me fool. I can make that ice climb up faster if I please.)

(Suddenly, the ice is now at Yuki’s waste, and climbing up faster.)

Yuki: Alright, alright! I get it! Just let me go already! How the hell do you expect me to use you if you're just going to freeze me!?

Katana: (What do you mean “use me”? I don’t recall giving you permission to wield me.)

(Yuki puts on a devilish grin.)

Yuki: You really thought, after this, I’d simply walk away? Hell no…

(Yuki then looks serious, eyeing the katana.)

Yuki: I’m taking home a souvenir.

Katana: (That’s big talk, considering you're the one stuck in place.)

Yuki: Well then, let's make a deal.

Katana: (I have no intention in bargaining with a child, let alone a human.)

Yuki: If I can free myself from this, and manage to grab you again, you're mine. If you manage to completely freeze me, well then I guess that leaves me dead. Sound fair?

Katana: (... Fine. You are clearly not thinking straight, but I accept the terms. However I won’t hold back.)

Yuki: That’s fine with me. Now then…

(Yuki is now covered in ice up to her stomach. She grins wickedly, then punches herself full force where she's freezing, causing her fist to bleed a bit. The ice remains intact. Yuki winces at the pain.)

Yuki: (Ow! *censored*… This is going to be harder than I thought... )

(Yuki hits it again, this time with her other hand, full force. Again, it bleeds with no damage to the ice itself, besides having her blood roll down it. Yuki then starts to get angry, as she rapidly starts to beat the ice. After a few more panels of her struggling, the ice has risen even higher. The damage to the ice is next to none compared to her fists.)

Katana: (Hmm. Bite off more than you can chew?)

(Yuki looks exhausted, but still manages to look up at the katana and give it a determined, pissed off gaze.)

Yuki: Shut… Up… I’m not going to be beaten by some stupid hunk of metal!

Katana: (You seem to have an issue with talking big, you should really learn to back it up.)

(Yuki starts to grind her teeth. She starts to beat on the ice again, this time more viciously. As the Katana is in place, it starts to notice some sort of black smoke drift out from under Yuki’s eye patch.)

Katana: (...)

Yuki: (Damn it! Damn, damn, damn!!!)

(Suddenly, one of Yuki’s punches suddenly cracks the ice. A panel with both Yuki’s face and the katana noticing it is shown. Yuki doesn't stop, continuing to try and crack the ice in that one spot. The black smoke starts to become more noticeable, and the Katana suddenly stops increasing the ice’s growth. Noticing that, Yuki stops. She doesn't look at it, she just continues to breath heavily.)

Yuki: What the… Why the hell did you stop…? Don’t go easy on me-

Katana: (I’ve seen enough.)

Yuki: Huh?

(Yuki looks beyond exhaustion. Her arms have blood running down and spilling all over the place.)

Yuki: I’m… I’m not leaving here until I’ve won!

Katana:(I forfeit. After witnessing that… performance… I have no problem with letting you be my third wielder.)

(The ice completely shatters off of Yuki in spectacular fashion, all at once. Yuki is in shock, swaying from side to side, then falling to her knees, almost unconscious.)

Yuki: What? Why… why forfeit…?

Katana: (I have no doubt you would have broken out. Even if I completely encapsulated you in ice, you would have found a way. I can tell that's the type of person you are. I can respect that.)

(Yuki looks shocked, and almost as if she doesn't believe what she's hearing.)

Katana: (I’ll admit, when you first entered here, I took you for any other human. Although, after That, I can see there's something different about you. And I don’t just mean your determination. Now come, pick me up.)

(Yuki stands up, and does nothing.)

Katana: (What’s the matter? I understand you're not satisfied with the results of the duel, but-)

Yuki: It's not that.

Katana: (...)

Yuki: I could never wield a weapon that gives up, or holds back on anyone. That would just get in my way.

(Yuki starts to walk over to the Katana, and as she does, her wounds start to heal, and she starts to regain her energy.)

Yuki: If I pick you up now, you must swear to never do that again.

Katana: (... Fine. I can see where you're coming from. Before you pick me up, may I ask your name?)

(Yuki is now standing directly in front of the Katana. As she prepares to grasp it, she answers its question.)

Yuki: My name is Yuki Versai.

Katana: Well, Ms. Versai, mine is Korace. I’m honored to be in your service.

(Suddenly, as Yuki grabs the Katana, the snow around them starts to swirl incredibly fast. Yuki doesn't block her face this time, however the snow around her blinds her completely. When the snow disappears, she is back in the Armory, holding the Katana directly out in front of her. Caitie grabs her from behind, and turns Yuki around, worried.)

Caitie: Put that down! It’s dangerous! You could- Huh?

(Yuki looks a bit confused, then smiles.)

Yuki: Don’t worry, I’m alright! Korace and I are cool.

(Caitie takes a few steps back.)

Caitie: (Woah… she knows its name?! Then…)

Caitie: Don’t tell me… the katana spoke to you?

Yuki: Yup.

(Yuki looks around, and sees that virtually no time has passed.)

Yuki: (Strange. Even though it felt like hours… I was only there for about half a minute.)

Yuki: Don’t worry, we talked it out. Korace decided to let me wield him.

Caitie: What? Are you sure!? I mean… I guess if you holding it that way right now, it means it actually has accepted you, but…

Yuki: It should be fine. I have no clue what he can do, but I really don’t have much time to test it out right now, haha!

(As Caitie is in a bit of shock, Yuki throws the Katana up and grabs it by the middle of the holster as it falls back into her hand. She then starts to walk out of the Armory.)

Yuki: Hopefully you don’t have a problem with me using him!

(Caitie stares at Yuki blankly, dumbfounded.)

Caitie: Um, no… I guess I don’t have an issue with that.

(Once Yuki is completely out of the shot, Caitie looks a bit worried again.)

Caitie: (I have no clue… If Vivi is going to be happy or angry Korace found a new partner…)

Chapter End

The weapons mentioned at the top of the post:
Fukagawa's is left, Lillian's is right
« Last Edit: December 13, 2017, 12:13:47 AM by PichuDX »

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2017, 05:40:40 PM »
[Chapter 5 Post]
Sorry, wanted to post earlier in the day, but I've been busy :3 Heres Chapter 5, and some of the characters!

Chapter 5: “Turbulence”

(The chapter opens on Yuki roaming the halls, with Korace propped up on her shoulder. She appears to be looking around, a bit lost.)

Yuki: (I thought I was heading the right way… but…)

(Yuki looks a bit annoyed and flustered.)

Yuki: (This school is way bigger than I thought it was!)

(Suddenly, Yuki hears a voice.)

Korace: (Take a left here, then keep heading straight. You’ll reach the Exam gates eventually.)

(Yuki looks over at Korace, and raises an eyebrow.)

Yuki: So, you can still talk?

Korace: (To you, yes. No other mortal can hear me. One of my many Talents is Telepathy.)

Yuki: “Many” Talents? I thought you were just a strange Katana…

Korace: (You’d be surprised then, Ms. Versai. I won’t reveal to you my full potential initially, however it should become clear in due time.)

Yuki: That doesn't explain to me what you really are though…

Korace: (Just think of me as your weapon, and your guide. Now then, make haste for the gates, the first exam will be starting soon.)

Yuki: Right.

(Yuki sighs and attempts to turn the corner into the left hallway, and suddenly bumps into Mr.Chase. Mr.Chase looks a bit disheveled.)

Mr.Chase: Oh, dear me, sorry about that young lady!

(Yuki is also a bit in shock.)

Yuki: Huh? Oh, um, no it’s alright! It's my bad, really. I should have been paying more attention…

Mr.Chase: Same goes for me. To be honest, I sort of blanked out myself. Say, your taking the Exams today, no?

Yuki: Yeah, I was on my way there now.

Mr.Chase: Well then, good luck out there, the competition seems to be very tough this year.

(Mr. Chase waves, and starts to walk away, but before he leaves he stops, not turning around.)

Mr.Chase: Say, was that Korace you're carrying with you?

(Yuki had started to walk herself, then stops. She turns towards Mr.Chase.)

Yuki: You know it’s name?

Mr.Chase: He’s well known among some of us long time teachers, that's all.

Yuki: Oh, um… ok?

Mr.Chase: Now that I know for sure that's Korace, I’ll be sure to keep an eye on your performance.

(Mr. Chase turns only his head towards Yuki’s direction, and smiles. The smile is a bit off.)

Mr.Chase: I can’t wait to see you two in action. Don’t disappoint.

(Yuki stares at Mr.Chase as he walks out of view, and she suddenly feels chills running down her spine.)

Korace: (...)

Yuki: You know him Korace?

Korace: (The children call him “Hat”, although formally he is referred to as Mr. Chase.)

Yuki: I see… He kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

Korace: (I agree. He tends to give off that sort of vibe.)

(There is a panel *Possibly half or full page* of Mr.Chase walking down a hallway, the perspective from the floor up words. He has on a sly smile, holding his hat in place with one hand and the other in his pocket.)

Korace: (He’s always been a strange one.)

Yuki: I’ll keep note of that… Anyways, let’s head to the gates already.

(Yuki walks off, and as she does the scene switches to a view of the outside of the back of the school. Some students are already outside, with others still arriving. The scene shows a giant, fenced off square grid, about the size of a whole football stadium. The gates of which are where the students are gathered around. The scene then zooms in on Hitachi, who is leaning on the fence, his sword propped up next to him.)

Hitachi: (Wonder when the test will start…)

(Hitachi looks to his left and a few feet away is a small gathering of students. He looks a bit curious, so he picks up his sword, places it on his shoulder, and walks over to observe the commission. He pushes through a few kids, one of which includes Zed, and sees at the center of the group Emily, literally butting heads with Saya.)

Hitachi: (What the hell-?)

Emily: Well look who it is, who the hell invited you here, Saya?

Saya: If you must know Emily, I happen to be a grade A student. Although I could understand if someone were to ask the same question of you. Didn’t you completely flunk half of last year?

Emily: *Gritting her teeth* I was training outside of school to be able to completely wipe the floor with these losers. And what have you been doing? Studying useless *censored* know one cares about, I’d assume?

Saya: At least I got in through hard work and dedication, and not through “recommendations”.

Emily: What!? Who the hell said I got recommended? So what If my parents know some of the teachers? I got in through pure skill. I don’t even know why I bother talking to someone like you, you're going to completely fail this exam, and then I’ll never see you again!

Saya: Really now? Last time I checked, I thought the same of you. I can’t wait until the day I get to walk past you in the street wearing my new badge, while your stuck at some desk job.

(The two get really pissed, and are on the verge of knocking each other out, when Emily’s dog pops out from her collar, and barks happily. Emily sighs, and backs off, a bit annoyed.)

Emily: Calm down, Dimp. It’s alright. I’ll just save it for the Exams.

Saya: Ugh, you still carry that mutt around with you? Have you ever had him checked for any diseases?

Emily: Leave Dimp out of this.

(Emily puts on a stupid, childish face and pets Dimp, who pants happily.)

Emily: ~Don’t let the mean girl get on your nerves, my little Dimpy~

(Dimp barks, then hops out of Emily's collar, to her surprise. He then runs over to Zed, who had been watching from the crowd. He barks happily, and wags his tail, looking up at Zed. Zed looks confused, and maybe even a bit scared.)

Zed: Uh… Um… Nice doggy?

(Emily walks over to Zed, and picks up Dimp. With the same stupid face, she shoves Dimp in Zed’s face, causing Zed to become more flustered.)

Emily: ~ Awww, He likes you!~

Zed: I… Uh… don’t think I quite understand…

(Hitachi watches from a distance. He looks around at some of the other students, then turns back to wait by the gate. As he’s on his way back, he notices Poi, who is seen uncapping a water bottle. He then throws the cap away, and pulls out his canister. He pours the water into the canister, then throws the empty bottle away. Hitachi watches, confused.)

Hitachi: (Why doesn't he just drink it out of the bottle?)

(Hitachi shrugs to himself and looks around again, this time noticing Jin, who is by the gate, polishing the end of his spear. Jin looks over at Hitachi after a few seconds, some what menacingly, and Hitachi looks away awkwardly.)

Hitachi: (Weird…)

(Hitachi sighs and holds the back of his neck.)

Hitachi: (There's a lot of competition, huh?)

(Just as Hitachi finishes his thought, a voice is heard over nearby speakers.)

Intercom: All Physical Exam Participants, please start to gather by the gates. The 1st round will begin shortly.
Hitachi: Thank god, I was getting bored.

(From behind him, laughter is heard. Hitachi whips his head around, and sees Bryan, with a wide grin on his face.)

Bryan: I was just thinking the same thing! Man, I can’t wait to slug someone!

(Hitachi stares at Bryan for a second, then turns without saying a word, and walks towards the gates. Bryan shrugs to himself, and makes a face.)

Bryan: Not a talker, huh? Fine, I’ll make sure to slug you first.

(A panel is shown of just a determined grin, then the rest of the page is filled with Bryan, with a fist up, with a determined, competitive look on his face. The text reads “Bryan! Talent: Raw Strength! ( And willpower...)” )

Bryan: I’ve waited my whole life for this moment… I’m going to outdo everyone!

(Bryan turns to his left to see Yuki looking around,  a bit lost. He smiles and runs over to her. The next panel then shows Yuki, observing the kids preparing to take the Exam.)

Yuki: Man… I’m still amazed at how many people are taking the Exam.

Korace: (Really? This is one of the smallest groups I’ve ever seen.)

(Yuki looks a bit flustered.)

Yuki: R- Really?

(Yuki looks to up suddenly, to see Bryan waving at her, running towards her from a few feet away.)

Yuki: Oh, it’s you again.

(Bryan finally makes it over, and places his hands on his hips. He then proceeds to look at Korace and whistle.)

Bryan: Damn, that weapon suits you pretty well, Yuki! It looks sick!

Yuki: Um… Thanks?

(Yuki looks at Bryan for a second before asking.)

Yuki: Where’s your weapon? Is it hidden or something?

Bryan: Nope, they're front and center!

(Bryan gets into a boxing stance, and throws a few punches at the air.)

Yuki: I see… Wouldn’t it have been smarter to at least get some gloves or brass knuckles?

(Bryan freezes, and then looks distraught.)

Bryan: That… actually makes a lot of sense…

(Yuki facepalms and sighs.)

Bryan: It’s fine, I’ll just go run and grab some! Hey, since we’re friends, come along so we can catch up.

Yuki: Wha- friends? Since when were we ever fri-

(The Intercom interrupts the conversation.)

Intercom: The Exam is about to begin. Participants, please take your positions at the gate in front of the simulation square.

Bryan: Aww… well, guess I’ll have to go in without the gear. That’s fine though, I’ll still come out on top! Let’s go Yuki!

Yuki: Wait, seriously don’t call me your friend! I don’t even know you!

(Bryan laughs, takes Yuki by the sleeve, and runs towards the gate, while Yuki seems flustered. The scene now shows all of the participants waiting in front of the gate. Several panels showing each of the main students (including everyone from the locker room and the side students introduced) are shown, each of them waiting for the signal. As the Intercom speaks, the student’s are shown bracing themselves individually.)

Intercom: Now, before we begin, let's review the rules. No fatal injuries are allowed. If they should occur, the child who gave it will be penalized to the highest degree of the law. The objective of this course is to rescue as many Prop Civilians as possible within the time limit. You will have 1 hour. You must bring the Prop Civilians back to the gates in order for them to count towards your score. You may return to the gates to stash Prop Civilians as many times as you want. Stealing from another participant is allowed as long as they have not reached the gate.

(Hirigo pushes his way through the crowd, to the front and turning to face the students.)
Hirigo: Alright future Soldiers! Once these gates open, I ask that you stand back until the signal is given.

(The gates slowly opens behind Hirigo, who is smirking with a remote in his left hand. With a press of a button, the floor of the grid starts to glow bright. It blinds the students, who have to shield their eyes. When they look again, an entire city, complete with skyscrapers and roads, had materialized on the grid. The students stare in awe, when suddenly Bibiko, from behind the crowd, fires his gun in the air, signaling the start of the Exam. Two panels are shown side by side, of two smirks from the crowd. Then, from out of nowhere, Poi and Tetsuya blast ahead of the crowd. Poi is riding on a forward tornado of water, while Tetsuya had propelled himself forward by placing his hands on a kid behind him. All of the kids behind them have been blasted back, some even knocked out. Yuki, Bryan, Hitachi, Taro, and Fukagawa all look surprised (All split panels.) )

Tetsuya and Poi in sync: TURBULENCE!!!

(The two are neck and neck, and they look at each other, awestruck.)

Tetsuya: You stole…

Poi: … My line!

(The two stare each other down, the chapter ending in a panel with split shots of the two staring each other down from opposite ends of the gate, with the other splits each having a main student, shocked.)


Saya Mori

Emily Sayuri