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Author Topic: Dragon Universe (Shonen)  (Read 136 times)

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Offline PichuDX

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Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« on: October 29, 2017, 11:18:54 PM »
Hey everyone! My names Nathan L. and I'm the author behind Dragon Universe, my current manga project. Me and a team of artists have been working diligently for the past year to start this series up, so hopefully you all enjoy it.
A few notes you should keep in mind before you read:
1. The script posted here is the most recent rendition (10/29/2017) of the first chapter. I realize its a bit unprofessional, written both like a script and with notes all over. I was going to clean it up, but I figured I'd keep it in. I've found that using this format helps the artists understand more about how to draw the pages, so I thought I'd show you all the full process of how we get that done to help out any future mangaka, if that makes any sense :P. (as a side note, I have removed anything that might spoil later plot points, but besides that most of my work is there.)
2. We currently have up to chapter 5 completely edited and finished, with chapters 6 - 55 written up (With notes and some unfinished bits.) If we can get a few people reading along, I'd love to post the scripts here as I finish :D
3. We have tons of artwork and pages done for the manga, but I believe I can't post links, so instead I'll say this: If your interested in our work, and are curious what our characters look and interact like, please feel free to look us up on Facebook by searching up the manga's title, "Dragon Universe". We should be the top result ;3.
4. I'm still fairly new to this forum, so I'm not sure if its alright to post the pages here along with the script, so I'll post them separately if I get the OK form someone with more experience here >_<;
5. And finally, all comments and criticism is greatly appreciated. there's no point in writing this story if no one enjoys it! We want to make this a great experience, so any feedback you have please leave so we can review. Thanks in advance!

*P.S, couldn't figure out how to attach files, so I just copy and pasted it instead. If anyone can tell me why the option isn't appearing, I'd appreciate it!*

Chapter 1 “DREAM” Start

(The chapter opens on a little girl sitting in a field of flowers. The art style resembles that of a little kid coloring with crayons. The little girl is resembling a younger Yuki. Yuki is looking around the field, picking up flowers as she goes. After a few panels of her picking flowers, a grey fog starts to creep up from behind her. Once it moves past her face, she slowly turns around. As she's turning around I believe three small panels in a row with an intensifying light will work, as her expression changes to show disbelief. Once she's fully turned around, a whole page should be dedicated to her standing, facing a mansion that is lit up in horrifying flames. Yuki should seem small compared to the mansion and flames. The next panel should show the flames in her eyes, and with a close up of her eyes reveal a figure standing in the flames. The view should flip to her perspective, slowly zooming into a sinister looking figure (Make sure he has distorted looking, spiky hair. He should also have something resembling a chain coming from his pocket attaching to his waist) facing sides ways, his hand facing upwards and out stretched. Once he is in close enough view, show him turning his head only towards Yuki, pulling his hand a bit closer to himself. Then, he smiles wickedly with two, distinctive red eyes shining directly at the reader and Yuki, clenching his hand into a fist, flames bursting out from inside the fist. His head should also be slightly tilted.)

“DREAM” End

Real Chapter 1 “Yuki” Start

(The chapter opens up on Yuki slowly opening her good eye (Her bad one isn’t shown until she's putting on her eyepatch, and when it's shown it's closed.) She rubs her bad eye with her arm, still lying down.)

Yuki: (That dream… Why, after all these years, does it still haunt me…?)

(Yuki starts to sit up in bed. She yawns, and gets out of bed. She walks over to her mirror, showing herself in a long White T shirt and black shorts on. Next to her mirror is a plain bust of a face with her eyepatch on it, so she grabs it and puts it on.)

Yuki: (It’s been almost 9 years... Since the fire. You’d think rebuilding the entire place would rid me of those memories…)

(The next few scenes show her brushing her teeth, brushing her messy hair, making a coffee in a huge kitchen, and sitting down, sipping the coffee. By the next time we see her, she switched out her shorts for casual, comfy jogging pants. She goes outside to a courtyard built into the middle of the Mansion, and waters a few flowers that are growing in a garden. She then goes back inside, stretches and yawns, grabs a bag of chips and slouches down onto a fancy couch in front of a TV.)

Yuki: (But whatever. I need to stop thinking the same thoughts everyday, I need something new in my life... Something that will get my mind off it.)

(She turns on the TV with a remote that was on the couch already, and it opens to a news story.)

News Reporter: Sadly, the situation is only getting worse. There seems to be no end to this new crime wave, with every passing day the crime rate must be sky rocketing. On the scene right now is our action reporter.

(the scene on the screen switches to a man in a suit outside of a shop. The glass of the shop’s windows seem to have been bashed in, with graffiti sprayed all over the building.)

Action reporter: Thanks. As you can see here, a local, small shop has been ravaged and cleaned out by a new crime syndicate. On the shop's back wall, it appears the gangsters have left some sort of call sign. (The Tv now shows a wall with the word “ClaW” Written in graffiti across the whole wall. The W in Claw Is made of three claw marks (\I/ <- Like that )) Besides that, there seems to be no trace of the vandalizers. If anyone watching knows anything about this incident, please, inform your local Police Station or Patrolling Officers asap. The rebuilding of our nation can only start with yo-

(The screen shuts off with a flash, with remote in hand, Yuki Sighs.)

Yuki: (Jeez. It seems everyone's getting in on the whole crime thing. I wonder how much I could make doing something like that? I’m sure they need someone with a Talent like mine...)

(Yuki giggles to herself, and gets up from the couch. She then shakes a near empty bag of potato chips.)

Yuki: ( Ugh. I guess I need to go and get some more snacks. I’m running low again…)

(Yuki tosses the now empty bag of chips on a nearby table, which is piled with some other trash and food wrappings. She picks up her coat which was thrown on a chair near the table and heads for the door. She can be seen before the scene switches from the outside of the Mansion, a front on view of the whole thing as she leaves it. It looks in almost perfect condition, but clearly shows she's wealthy. Around her are woods, and in front of her is a dirt road. The scene now switches to a scene in a forest. The sun is shining through the trees, and a boy with a brownish cloak is walking down a dirt path. On his back, he has something huge tied and hidden away with white tape. The item is strapped around him like a sash, and seems to be a large, long rectangle. The boy has his face revealed after a panel or two, showing Hitachi. He continues walking for a bit, when, suddenly, a thug with a bandanna around his mouth walks out from behind a tree. The man has his hands in his pockets, and he confronts Hitachi from a distance.)

Thug: Hey, punk. I’ll have you know, this here is my turf. What brings yeh to this neck of da woods?

(Hitachi doesn't answer)

Thug: Hey, pal, I asked you a question. Or would you rather ...cut... to the chase?

(The thug pulls out a pocket knife from his pocket, and flips it open, showing it off. Again, Hitachi says nothing. This time, he takes a single step back, though.)

Thug: I want all yer valuables. Drop what you got and scram before I hav’ta use this… (Spins the knife around.)

Hitachi: Sir. Please move out of the way. You're annoying.

Thug: What? Kid, are you trying to smart mouth me? Ima make your cocky ass regret it!

(The thug rushes at Hitachi, with his knife pulled back, ready to stab Hitachi full force. Around  half a foot away from him, Hitachi suddenly ducks down, grabs the item off his back, and swings it at the Thug full force. This hits the Thug, sending him flying, back first, into a tree. He slams into it, and falls flat on his face. The scene now shows the bandages/ tape falling off of Hitachi’s item, which turned out to be his sword. By this point, his hood has fallen off, fully revealing his face and hair. The scene should show an emphasis on the sword, but still have Hitachi in the shot as he says this next line.)

Hitachi: What did I tell you? I swear, some people just don’t listen…

(The scene switches back to Yuki, who is now walking down a crowded sidewalk. The area around her is a city, with huge skyscrapers and shops all over the place. It should look like a typical busy city, think New York or Tokyo. She stops in front of a small store, which sticks out a bit more then the buildings around it. It is a medium sized convenience store called “Quick Zip’s”. She walks in, the doors sliding open on their own as she enters. She is sort of slouched over, with her coat covering her mouth. The store clerk, a man around his early twenties waves to Yuki.)

Clerk: Well, if it isn’t our favorite customer. Sup, Yuki!

(Yuki waves with a half assed smile, then walks to an aisle lined with potato chips. As she looks over the selection, another customer walks in. This one looks a bit rough, a sweatshirt with his hood pulled over and a bit of a beard growing on his face. He is around his forties. He checks around, not noticing Yuki, then goes straight for the counter where the clerk is. He slams his fist down on the counter, and pulls out a gun from underneath his sweatshirt.)

Thief: Open the register. NOW.

(The clerk is in shock, and he hesitates to open the register.)

Clerk: S-Sir. Please, there's no need for-

Thief: I said NOW.

(Yuki peaks from behind a shelf and sees the man, but her expression is still her usual moody self. She sighs, then walks over to the thief. The thief jolts around, and points the gun at her, startled.)

Thief: Who?! Hey, get on the ground kid! I’m not playing, I’ll *censored*ing kill you!

(Yuki stares at him for a second, then sighs. She then stares at the Thief with a serious expression.)

Yuki: Dude, if you were gonna shoot me, you would have done it already. No need to fool yourself.

Thief: Wha-

(Yuki looks to her left and lifts up a broom that was leaning against the wall. The Thief walks up to her, the gun trained on her head.)

Thief: Don’t you play games with me, you little bitch-

(At the word “Bitch”, Yuki swings the broom, bashing it against the head of the Thief. He goes flying, letting go of the gun and smashes into a shelf at the other end of the store. Yuki stares him down while he twitches, unable to get up.)

Yuki: Before you continue that sentence, I’d like you to ask yourself who the bitch here really is.

(Yuki turns to the shocked clerk, and sighs.)

Yuki: You guys out of Salt and Vinegar chips again?

(The clerk slowly shakes his head “yes”.)

Yuki: Figures. Well I guess I’ll just grab a chocolate bar or something…

(The scene now shows Yuki, with her coat slightly unzipped, with the chocolate in her mouth, her hands in her pockets, walking home. Then it shows cops rushing past her, heading to the store.)

Yuki: (That man asked me to stay and explain what happened… but…)

(A panel shows the clerk trying to explain to the cops as they handcuff the Thief.)

Yuki: (What's the point? I mean, it's not like there was anything in it for me. Anyone could have stopped that nobody. Everyone's Talent is good for that much, at least I’d hope so.)

(Yuki looks at her right hand as she walks and thinks to herself.)

Yuki: (Honestly, I hate Talents. If they didn’t exist, everyone wouldn’t be so special, so the people with real talent could shine instead of being left in the dust.)

(A brief description of Talents is on the side of this panel, perhaps a Chibi Yuki speaking?)

Brief Description: For the uninitiated, Talents are the special, unique traits almost every individual is born with, thanks to help from the Talent Tree! It can range anywhere from super speed to breathing fire! Stay tuned later for a more in-depth description.

(As Yuki is thinking to herself, a figure rushes past her, brushing her as they dash by, making her drop her chocolate. She turns and looks towards them somewhat startled, Showing Bryan running towards the crime scene. For a second she stares in shock, then looks down to see her chocolate wasted.)

Yuki: (What the…) Hey, watch where you're going, asshole!

(Bryan completely ignores her, screeching to a halt and turning to look inside the shop. He moves back a bit as the criminal is pushed out of the shop, and dragged off by the police. The panel of Bryan speaking should focus on him a bit because it's his first appearance.)

Bryan: Aw, I missed the action… where the hell are the Officers?

(Yuki stomps over to him and places her hand on his shoulder, extreamly pissed.)

Yuki: You see what I did to that guy? (Points towards the thief, being dragged off.)

Bryan: Huh? Wait, you stopped that guy!? I haven't seen you around befo-

(Bryan quickly shuts up as her grip tightens.)

Yuki: If you don’t buy me a new chocolate bar for the one you just made me drop, I’m going to pulverise you the same way.

Bryan: Uh… what chocolate?

(Yuki points to the bar, melting away on the cement of the sidewalk.)

Bryan: Wha- Oh jeez did I run into you or something?! Sorry, I always seem to be doing stuff like-

(Yuki raises her other hand in a fist and gets ready to punch Bryan.)

Yuki: New Bar. Now.

Bryan: Ok, ok! I get it! Just calm down, chick!

(Yuki pushes Bryan against his will into the store, and then the scene switches again to Hitachi, with his hood now off and sword unsheathed and planted firmly into the ground, leaning against a tree. He is a few feet from a tree with the Thug, tied down with the bandages/ tape that was on his sword.)

Hitachi: So, you know where the nearest village or town is?

Thug: Why should I tell you?!

(Hitachi’s eyes narrow, giving the Thug a death stare.)

Hitachi: Because if you don’t, I’m going to bash your skull in with a single swing, and nobody will know where I hid your corpse.

(The Thug, about to *censored* himself, gulps.)

Thug: Alright, alright! You're about a good mile from the nearest City. Its Toaru. You know the place?

HItachi: No, I don’t. What can I find there?

Thug: Well, it’s pretty big. Tons of shops and stuff. It’s famous for being right next to the University.

(Hitachi’s eyebrows raise slightly)

Hitachi: The one for the military?

Thug: Yeah, that's the one. I’d be careful, they have Officers patrolling those streets 24/7. If they even get a quick glance at that sword of yours, you can consider yourself screwed.

Hitachi: Right. Thanks, I’ll take note of that. Welp, that’s all I needed, I’ll be going now.

(Hitachi pulls up his sword with ease, and carries it as he walks away. The thug turns around with an expression that says “Are you serious?”)

Thug: Uh, Hey kid. You're gonna untie me, right?

(Hitachi stops and looks back.)

Hitachi: Eh, not feeling it. What's in it for me?

(The Thug’s jaw drops)

Thug: What do you mean “What's in it for me?” !? Just let me go already!

Hitachi: Hm… Oh, I know. You’ll be my escort.

(The Thug is then dumbstruck)

Thug: … huh?

(The scene switches to back to Yuki and Bryan, Yuki is opening a new chocolate bar, and Bryan is looking at her like shes crazy.)

Bryan: You do realise you threatened a dude you’ve never met before over chocolate, right?

(Yuki gives Bryan a very serious look, similar to Hitachi’s death stare.)

Yuki: It’s more than chocolate. It’s MY chocolate, making it all the more valuable.

Bryan: … you're weird.

Yuki: And you're rude. We can keep going all day dude.

(Bryan sighs, then looks back at the shop.)

Bryan: So were you the one who stopped that guy, or not?

Yuki: Hm? (Chocolate in her mouth.)

Bryan: The criminal, from earlier.

Yuki: Yeah. He was trying to act tough so I kicked his ass.

Bryan: Damn… are you a new Patrol Officer that transferred or something?

Yuki: What?

Byran: You know, you a Soldier? I feel like I would have seen you before, but maybe not. It is a pretty big city.

Yuki: Oh, like one of those military kids? Nah, I just go with the flow. Screw school.

Bryan: What?! But you clearly have an awesome Talent if you were able to stop that guy! You should apply!

Yuki: There's nothing special about it. It’s just some simple Strength. See?

(Yuki takes out a coin, and flips it with her pointer finger and thumb. It sky rockets into the air, and goes out of view for a bit. Bryan is in awe, and Yuki catches the coin as it shoots back to the ground.)

Yuki: Don’t you need some weird Talent to get into it?

Bryan: Well, that's not necessarily true. Even if it's just strength, it's how you use it that counts! Hey, I’m actually going to be applying soon myself, we should do it together! We would probably end up in the same test, but that only adds to the fun.

Yuki: There's a test for something like that? I never would have guessed- Hey wait, I don’t care! I’m not gonna sign up for it. It's a waste of time!

Bryan: Huh? You do something besides threaten people over chocolate?

(Yuki scratches her head for a second.)

Yuki: Well… No, I guess I just relax at home all day... But so what?

Bryan: Oh come on, aren't you bored?! Think of all the cool stuff you could do as an Officer!

Yuki: Like? Last time I checked they are just younger, glorified cops.

Bryan: Miss, you got yourself some learning to do. Listen, I’ve got to start heading home, but I want to convince you to sign up with me, so lets chat for a bit.

Yuki: Ugh...

(The scene switches to Hitachi and the Thug walking through the woods, conversing.)

Hitachi: So, what were you really doing out here.

Thug: What do ya mean?

Hitachi: I doubt you planned to rob people by yourself. Where's the rest of your group.

Thug: To be honest, scattered all over the forest. I’m part of this gang ran by this dude named Emilio, never met the guy, but I was invited to the group and decided I needed the cash. What's your story kid? Not everyday I meet a kid with crazy Talent like yours.

Hitachi: I’m just a runaway. Hated my parents, so I’m just trying to find a place to fit in. So far, not really working out.

Thug: With that strength, I’m surprised you didn’t just kill ‘em. You got guts kid.

Hitachi: I never said I didn’t respect them. I just hated them. I had no reason to harm them, so I just got up and left.

Thug: Well, If you need, I’m sure we got room for a dude like you. What do yah say?

Hitachi: Thanks, I’ll keep the offer in mind, but I like to keep a low profile. Actually, My plan for blending in was going to try and apply to that school you mentioned earlier. They got dorms for kids who don’t got places to spend the night, free food and shelter never hurt anybody. I’ll just drop out when I find something better.

Thug: Hmm, I see. Well, I guess that makes us enemies.

Hitachi: We weren't already?

Thug: Heh, guess your right. What's your name, kid? I’ll be sure to keep a look out for you.

Hitachi: Hitachi Justice. And I’ll try and follow your little crime syndicate as well. Who knows, maybe we'll run into each other some time.

(The scene ends with the backs of the characters on the path towards the city, in the forest. The scene switches back to Yuki and Bryan, sitting together outside the shop on a bench nearby.)

Yuki: You really want me to sign up that bad, huh?

(Bryan nods, with a determined face on)

Bryan: You seriously have some skill. The school could use people like you. Lets meet at the schools gates when the next exam rolls around next month.

Yuki:... Fine. I guess I can try it. But I still think it's stupid.

(Bryan grins stupidly as he fist bumps the air)

Bryan: Awesome! By the way miss, the names Bryan. Yours?

Yuki: Yuki. Yuki Versai.

Bryan: Well then, Yuki, I guess I’ll see you in a month! Don't skimp out on me!

Yuki: Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, I really don't have much else to occupy my time. I'll be there.

(Bryan gets up, stretches, and walks off. Yuki simply watches as he walks away. She is holding an empty chocolate bar wrapper in her hands.)

Yuki: (What a weird kid…)

(A clock in a nearby park starts to ring, and Yuki looks as if she forgot something.)

Yuki: *censored*! My Train!

(Yuki bolts in the opposite direction of Bryan.)

END CHAPTER


« Last Edit: November 02, 2017, 07:38:32 PM by PichuDX »

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2017, 05:33:20 AM »
Hello Nathan!

Searching up "Dragon Universe" lead to Dragon Ball results.
Here a topic about how to post images. 
http://forums.mangaraiders.com/index.php/topic,12761.0.html but looks like it's not fully working

Do you think its fear to give criticism and feedback if you taking parts of the chapter out because they are spoilers?
It's your story, you don't need to tell us the spoilers if you don't want to. But that makes the criticism and feedback pointless because part of the chapter missing.

Sound interesting tho

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2017, 06:55:50 AM »
Hello Nathan!

Searching up "Dragon Universe" lead to Dragon Ball results...

...It's your story, you don't need to tell us the spoilers if you don't want to. But that makes the criticism and feedback pointless because part of the chapter missing.

Thank you for the feedback, Not sure why it didn't pop up for you on Facebook. If your still interested in seeing our collection of art, perhaps try searching for our group page on Deviant Art instead (There's a link to the Facebook there) Hopefully that helps.
Also, my bad for not being clear enough, when I stated I removed spoilers, I meant note wise. For example if I wrote something that was only intended for me or the artists to understand how to draw something, but it would spoil something down the line, then I removed it. All of the original story is there, no worries! I haven't, and will not.
Not sure if the image will appear, but lets see if this works. If it does show, this is one of our earlier sketches of Yuki:
« Last Edit: October 30, 2017, 06:59:08 AM by PichuDX »

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2017, 08:13:32 AM »
Sorry, my bad. Make sense now.

Okay, I found your Deviantart page by Searching "PichuDX Dragon Universe"
You got some cool stuff on your facebook.

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2017, 08:32:13 AM »
Haha, thank you! It's mostly some promotional stuff and character designs, hopefully if I get the ok, I'll start posting the finished pages here as well.

Offline KeanFox

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2017, 09:05:08 AM »
What do you mean "the ok"?
The ok from your team to post finished pages. Or the ok to post pages here on the forum?

Last time i checked its okay to post pages here, but I'm not sure.
 

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2017, 09:26:24 AM »
I mean the ok from here. My team is just as excited as I am to get the work out there, I just don't want to break any of the forums rules or anything like that, haha! If it's fine, I'll post the first 10 pages in a few minutes as a test run.

Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2017, 09:48:18 AM »
I decided first 15 because I felt 10 wasn't enough to get the style across. (First 5 pages are Dream section)















Offline PichuDX

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Re: Dragon Universe (Shonen)
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2017, 07:53:33 PM »
Hey, sorry for the delay guys but here's Chapter two! Let me know what you think. To help you guys, I've posted images of the new characters that appear in the chapter, and will do so from now on. Because of my writing style, I probably just listed the name of the characters down without any description, so I suggest taking a look at the characters before reading. (Also can't figure out how to attach the original script file, like the little spoiler tap thing, so ugh.)

Chapter 2: “Freeway”

(The scene opens up to the words “A few hours later” with Yuki, on a futuristic looking bullet train. The train is mostly empty, with about three other random people around. She’s reading a comic book. Her coat is zipped up, and she's sitting as far away as possible from the other passengers. One of the other passengers is Hitachi, with his cloak and hood on. His sword has its bandages on it again, keeping it hidden from the other passengers. One of the other passengers is an old man, Kimichi Regold, who’s reading a newspaper. He also has a briefcase, tucked under his seat. A simple panel should focus on it. The train seems to be doing fine, but after a shot of Regold reading, he looks concerned after hearing a knock from behind him. He turns his head to face the window, to see Teddy, waving. Startled, considering how fast the train is moving, Regold gets up and falls on his ass, facing Teddy. Yuki and Hitachi, both at opposite ends of that section of the train, notice Teddy. Teddy then chuckles to himself, places his hand gently on the glass, and within a split second blows the entire train off the rails. As the train is flying off, (by the way the train is up somewhere high, like an elevated railroad about halfway up skyscrapers,) Yuki is seen smacking into the back of the Train, and Hitachi is seen bracing himself for impact. The train, once it hits the ground, is on fire, with a wide shot of the crash. The train landed in an empty street, with other buildings nearby a bit damaged from the train’s impact. Yuki is seen, waking up after the crash on the ground. She is covered in soot and ash, and as she raises her head she sees Hitachi battling against Teddy, The scene she first sees is Hitachi, with his hood off, swinging his sword full force with one hand at Teddy, who simply repels it with his hand while grinning.)

Yuki:( What the… What the *censored* just happened?)

(Yuki focuses on Hitachi for a second.)

Yuki: (Who the hell is that? Is he an Officer?)

(Yuki suddenly places her hand on her forehead, wincing.)

Yuki: Ghaa… (Jeez, I must have hit my head at some point…)

(Yuki looks back at the train wreck behind her, and notices Regold still knocked out trapped inside.)

Yuki: Wait… Oh my god…!

(Yuki struggles in pain as she raises to her feet, wobbling. She starts to head for the wreck, towards Regold. The scene now shows Hitachi, sweating a bit and looking annoyed. Teddy is laughing wickedly.)

Teddy: Oh man, of all the people on the Freeway, I wasn’t expecting a student!

(Hitachi is bleeding a bit from the mouth, and as he wipes it he thinks to himself.)

Hitachi: (Who the hell is this guy, and what the hell is his Talent?!)

(A distorted image of Teddy, posed as if he's about to Repel something flashes in Hitachi’s mind.)

Hitachi: (I’ve never seen anything like it… It’s like my sword is bouncing off of him like it's made of rubber…)

Teddy: Hellooooo? You there hot shot? (Coming from out of view)

(Hitachi snaps back into reality, to Teddy in his face, his right palm an inch or so away from his face.)

Hitachi: Wha-?!

(Teddy repels Hitachi back, making him fly and crash besides Yuki, who was just pulling Regold out of the wreck. Yuki braces herself a bit, covering her face from the dust from Hitachi’s impact. When she looks, Hitachi is wounded severely, bleeding from his forehead, down. Most of his cloak has been blown away, with his normal outfit starting to tear.)

Yuki: Hey! You ok?!

(Hitachi slowly raises his head with a pissed off expression, not facing Yuki.)

Hitachi: Do I look ok!? Chick, whats your Talent?

Yuki: Huh?

(Hitachi turns only his head to face her, while still sitting in the debris of his crash.)

Hitachi: What’s your Talent? I’m trying to come up with a strategy.

Yuki: Well… um… I’m ok with a stick or sword but… I don’t-

Hitachi: Perfect. Just get behind that guy while I distract him, Ok?

Yuki: What?! Dude, I understand we aren't in the best situation, but this man needs help and-

(Hitachi’s eyes narrow.)

Hitachi: Do you want to die?

(Yuki shuts up, eyes widened and a bit shaken up.)

Hitachi: If not, do as I say and we might have a shot. Now once I charge at him, go. Got it?
(Yuki is still shaken up, but she nods. The scene switches to Teddy, who is now looking around the area.)

Teddy: Where the hell did I send that kid packing? I didn’t even mean to send him so far! Oh well, I guess he probably didn’t survive it, better contact-

(Teddy turns suddenly to see Hitachi, his sword swinging down at Teddy. Caught off guard, Teddy touches the ground and sends himself a few feet away, just in time to dodge the attack. Hitachi is breathing heavily, with a serious expression.)

Hitachi: (So that's it… His Talent. Then my plan will work.)

(Teddy looks pissed, holding his chest where his heart would be like he had a heart attack.)

Teddy: Dear god, you scared me, you goddamn cockroach! How the hell did you survive my attack!?

(Hitachi says nothing, but lowers his sword to about his knees, with the end of the sword facing Teddy.)

Teddy: You're not gonna get another chance like that, sorry to say. You’ve wasted enough of my time as it is.

(Teddy gets in position to launch himself at Hitachi, lowering his hands to the ground.)

Hitachi: Now! The legs!

(Teddy looks confused, raising up slightly, then turning his head around to see Yuki with a slim, steel bar from the debris. She sweeps the legs from behind, making Teddy trip and begin to fall. Before Teddy hits the ground, Hitachi rushes at him, his sword still lowered to his knees. Once Hitachi reaches Teddy, still charging at him, he starts to curve his sword up to try and catch Teddy.)

Teddy: (Yeah, ok!! I’ll just send that sword right back at you!)

(Teddy puts his hands out to try and stop the sword, but Hitachi curves the sword between Teddy’s arms, and raises his sword up, uppercutting Teddy. The force of the uppercut sends Teddy flying, so far that he lands a about a yard away from Hitachi and Yuki. All of this happened as Teddy was mid trip, by the way. The scene shows Teddy land with a loud thud, on his back. His face falls back to reveal he’s knocked out, defeated. Then it goes back to the other two. Yuki places the pipe down on the floor, using it as support to keep herself up. Hitachi plants his sword firmly in the ground, and walks over to Yuki, one hand on his hip. Even though he's bleeding severely, he keeps his composure. He looks at Yuki with concern.)

Hitachi: You alright? Come on, we need to get you to a doctor.

(Yuki looks at Hitachi in disbelief.)

Yuki: Me!? You're the one who's bleeding a damn waterfall!

(Hitachi looks confused, then touches his forehead, and looks at the blood on his hand. He doesn't appear to be phased by it.)

Hitachi: Huh, guess I am, aren’t I? Then I guess we both need to see a doctor.

(Yuki is speechless, but then remembers Regold, and turns towards where she left him. He is on the ground, slouched over by a wall of a building.)

Yuki: Our priority should be to help him out first, then ourselves. You seem fine *under her breath: Somehow* , do you mind carrying him?

Hitachi: No problem. Let’s go.

(Hitachi and Yuki go over to the unconscious Regold. Yuki is still using the pipe as if it was a crutch or cane. Hitachi bends down inspect the man, but then wobbles a bit.)

Yuki: Hey, you ok?

(Hitachi goes to grab his sword for support but his hand simply slides off and he falls unconscious. Yuki looks horrified, and she falls to her knees, pushing the pipe aside and attempting to tend to Hitachi.)

Yuki: *censored*, you lost way too much blood… what the hell was going through your head!?

(Yuki pushes some of his hair out of the way on his forehead and attempts to clean him up with her sleeve.)

Yuki: (I need to think of a way to get us help, and quick. These wounds are ridiculous. What the hell was that guy even after… and what was with those weird ears…)

(The scene shows over Yuki’s shoulder to show that Teddy has disappeared, before switching to a new scene where the cat form of Teddy is sprinting through some of the wreckage. Towards the front of the destroyed train, Shake can be seen sitting on a pile of rubble. He looks up as Teddy stops in front of him. Off panel, Teddy transforms back to his human form, looking pissed off, bleeding from the mouth a bit.)

Shake: Jeez, you ok Teddy? There wasn’t supposed to be soldiers on the train so-

(Still pissed, Teddy wipes the blood spilling from his mouth.)

Teddy: Well there were soldiers, two of ‘em. We need to clear out of here before backup arrives. You got the cargo?

(Shake reluctantly points besides him, to a briefcase with a bit of blood splatter on it.)

Shake: Yeah, I got it. The old guy was pretty hesitant to let it go, but I snatched it from him before anyone else noticed.

(Teddy nods, and sighs.)


Teddy: Alright then, Shake, then let’s book it back to Tai.

(Shake gets up, and Teddy transforms back to his cat from. Shake stays human, and the two walk into a nearby alley way, Shake with the briefcase in hand. The scene switches back to Yuki, who has taken off her coat entirely and tied it around Hitachi’s head, attempting to bandage the wound. She is now tending to Regold. As she is checking to see where he’s hurt, he starts to regain consciousness. He looks around for a second, somewhat out of it, then notices Yuki checking his chest, his coat unbuttoned for her to see. He blushes a bit, concerned.)


Regold: Um, miss? I think I might be just a bit too old for you…

(Yuki looks at Regold confused, then realized it looked as if she was checking him out, so she blushes a bit as well, and backs off a bit.)

Yuki: N- no way! Creep, do you even know where you are!?

(Regold looks around a bit more, and notices the train a few feet away from them. He sighs, and pulls out his glasses from his coat pocket, and slides them on as his middle finger positions them.)

Regold: So, that furball actually blew us clean off the tracks…

Yuki: You mean the huge guy? Yeah, I think so. I was unconscious for some time, so I have no clue what went down as soon as we hit the ground.

(Yuki looks over at Hitachi.)

Yuki: That dude over there saved both of our asses, I have no clue how…

Regold: I see. Well, I appear to be in decent shape thanks to you two, so I owe you a great deal. You appear to have had your fair share of trouble here as well, so let's see if we can’t find you guys a doctor.

(Regold slowly rises to his feet, Yuki somewhat surprised by his vitality.)

Regold: I’ll grab the boy, you go and see if you can find any help. I’ll be right behind you.

(Yuki nods, and heads off to find any help. Regold picks up Hitachi on his back, Hitachi’s sword on Hitachi’s back tied to him with his bandages. Before following after Yuki, he looks around one more time.)

Regold: (Yup, I knew it. That cat was after the research… I’ll have to fill the others in later.)

(The scene now switches to the three in the hospital, Regold watching over the kids while both are in beds side by side. Yuki is awake, but Hitachi is currently asleep. Yuki is sitting up, her coat on the end of the bed, still bloody from Hitachi. She’s staring at it. Regold sighs, then looks over at Yuki. He is sitting on a chair by her bedside.)

Regold: I should apologise to you two.

Yuki: Huh?

Regold: The whole train thing… that man was after my belongings.

(Yuki stares at Regold for a second.)

Yuki: What do you mean?

Regold: I think it might be best to introduce myself. I’m Kimichi G. Regold. I’m the head of Regold Science Inc.

(Yuki looks dumbfounded.)

Yuki: What!? No way, the Regold!? Your a legend!

(Regold scratches the back of his head and smirks a bit.)

Regold: I guess I’m a bit famous, aren't I? Sorry, I should have told you sooner, I think-

(Hitachi turns his head towards Regold, awake now but still lying down. He has bandages on his forehead and all around his chest.)
Hitachi: I’ve never heard of you. Mind explaining a bit?

(Regold’s glasses slide off his face a bit, and Yuki has a (T_T) expression on. Regold clears his throat, and adjusts his glasses with his middle finger again.)

Regold: Well, if you really don’t know, Regold Science is the world’s leading science research company. We specialize in everything, from simple day to day equipment to architectural things like buildings and railways, Like the Freeway we were on.

Hitachi: I see. Sorry, I’m not from around here. What is it that the Catman was after?

(Regold folds his arms.)

Regold: I was bringing some blueprints for a new vehicle design to one of my Labs, but that man took it. He’s probably planning on selling it or something…

(Regold sighs.)

Yuki: You should have told us while we were there! We could have gotten the blueprints back for you…

Regold: It’s fine, they weren't anything to special anyways. I’m more concerned about you two kids. When we checked into this hospital, neither of you were in the computer’s database. Mind explaining why you two don’t have any identification?

(Yuki looks away, avoiding the question.)

Yuki: Huh, oh jeez, looks like the other kid made a speedy recovery, huh?

Hitachi: The name’s Hitachi Justice. You?

Yuki: Um… Yuki Versai. Sorry, I guess we never really got to introduce ourselves.

Hitachi: You owe me. When the train initially crashed, I was the one who pulled you out when you were unconscious. Actually, you were out for quite a bit, I think you might have hit your head during the crash.

(Yuki blushes a bit.)

Yuki: Oh… well, Thank you. I guess I do owe you one.

Hitachi: You can pay me back by getting me into that school of yours, the military one. I want to become a Soldier, so If you could put in a word for me, that would be great.
(Yuki stares at Hitachi, a bit confused.)

Yuki: I’m, uh… I’m not a Soldier. I honestly thought you were one.

(Hitachi looks disappointed.)


Hitachi: What!? Ah man, I really thought I was going to get a free pass in… well, guess that's my fault for assuming.

(Regold stands up.)

Regold: Well, considering I owe the both of you my life, hows about I put in a word for the both of you? I’m a good friend of the principles. Him and I go way back, I’m sure he would consider you two greatly if I tell him about the whole Freeway incident.

(Both Yuki and Hitachi perk up.)

Yuki: Really, you’d do that for us? Thats awesome!

Hitachi: I’m down for that. Thanks Pops.

Regold:.. I’m not that old, kid. Anywho, yeah, I have to visit him tomorrow for the exams anyways, so how about you two rest up today, and attend tomorrow's written portion of the exam? The physical portion shouldn’t be for another week, so you’ll have time to heal up.

(Regold waves, and the others wave back as he exits the room. Hitachi sits up in his bed, and notices Yuki’s coat.)

Hitachi: Jeez, I didn’t notice all that blood before, are you going to be ok?

Yuki: You mean my coat? Actually, all that blood came from you… I used it to bandage you up.

Hitachi: O- Oh. I see. Sorry about the mess then, I guess.

(Yuki sighs.)

Yuki: It’s fine, I just hope it comes out easy. That coat means a lot to me.

(Hitachi stares at Yuki for a second, then at the coat.)

Hitachi: Was it a gift or something?

Yuki: Yeah, you could say that. Someone really special to me gave it to me when we parted ways a long time ago.

Hitachi: I see… I can respect that. My sword is something that's pretty special to me, for similar reasons.

(The chapter ends on a panel close up of Yuki’s bloody coat.)

END CHAPTER

Yuki


Hitachi


Regold


Teddy


Shake