September 25, 2018, 02:59:06 AM


If you have Login Problems Use the Login in Top Menu Bar

If you have a problem registering here, Leave a msg at our FB Page >> Here.

Plz Don't use Hotmail to Register. You might not receive Activation mail. Use Other free mail provider like Gmail or Yahoo.

Author Topic: Scenes from Byakko(tentative title)  (Read 718 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Canislupus54

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Scenes from Byakko(tentative title)
« on: October 09, 2017, 11:10:33 PM »
This is a scene from a story I thought up recently. It doesn't really have a beginning right now, but I'm thinking about making it into webcomic. I would appreciate any feedback.

A large man resting a massive sword on his shoulder rounds the corner right in front of Tora and Loup. He’s wearing the Hunter uniform with the sleeves torn off. The two tense up. Loup puts his right hand on the hilt of his sword.
Loup: Who are you? We didn’t hear about any other Hunters in the area.
The man smirks.
Large man: Heh, looks like the bait hasn’t quite expired yet. You can call me Black.
Loup: Bait? Then the malbeasts…
Black: I lured them here. Well, I can’t take all the credit. In any case, I—
Tora’s right fist impacts Black’s face. Black goes flying backwards down the street and smashes into a disheveled storefront.
Tora: You bastard! You killed people! Shot of a dead woman. You killed kids! Shot of a bloody teddy bear. I won’t forgive you, no matter how much you beg for it!
Black stands and dusts himself off. His face splits into a manic smile and he starts laughing.
Black: Nice arm, boy! If you want to fight I’ll be happy to oblige.
Black swings his sword down on the ground one-handed. A wave of air pressure rushes at Tora, Tora’s eyes widen, but Loup pulls him out of the way.
Loup(whispering): I was going to grill him for information! Too late now. We’ll take him together.
Tora grins and nods. Suddenly, Black is right in front of them, swinging his sword down on Loup. Loup draws his sword and blocks, causing a large shockwave that tears apart the walls and street around them. Black and Loup lock swords.
Black: Good reflexes, kid!
Loup: It’s more than reflexes! Hah!
Loup pushes. Black goes sliding back along the ground. Tora rushes in and punches Black in the stomach. Black swings his sword horizontally, but Tora easily leaps over the blow and kicks Black in the face, staggering him. Loup appears and stabs Black in the stomach.
Black: Ah!
Black punches Loup with his free hand, sending Loup flying backwards and through the building at the end of the street.
Tora: What power!
Black is already in front of Tora and knees him in the stomach with his right leg. Black grabs Tora by the face and throws him in the same direction as Loup. Loup is just standing up when Tora crashes into him. They both tumble down the street. They stop when Black plants his foot down on top of Tora’s back.
Black: You’re not bad, brats. It’s been a while since I used five percent of my power. Almost a shame to snuff out your flame. Almost.
Loup stabs Black in the calf. Black steps off and stabs down at Tora and Loup, but they suddenly disappear. Loup stands behind Black with his sword by his side in a relaxed position with Tora crouching behind him. Loup smirks.
Loup: Looks like I’ll have to get serious too.
Tora: Seriously!? Life or death and you were holding back!?
Loup: I didn’t want to destroy your confidence. But it can’t be helped. Loup points his sword at Black Let’s go, Yaga!
Loup and Black shoot towards each other. They lock blades, causing a massive shockwave. Tora struggles to stay in one place from the force of the shockwave. Black is still using one hand and uses his free hand to punch at Loup. Loup is also using one hand and catches the punch with his free hand. Electricity crackles around the two from the force of their inochi.
Loup knees Black in the stomach, allowing him to overpower Black in the blade lock. Black jumps backwards, but Loup’s sword grazes his chest, giving him a shallow cut. Loup presses his advantage by stabbing at Black. Black catches the sword with his free hand. His hand is still cut by the blade and bloodied.
Loup lets go of his sword, moves closer to Black, and kicks him in the stomach. Black releases Loup’s sword and goes flying backwards. Loup grabs his sword by the hilt. Suddenly, he’s behind Black, diagonally cutting at him, downwards from right to left. Black, blocks with his sword and whirls around to punch Loup in the face. Loup tumbles down the street and crashes into some crates. Black goes to stab Loup, but he’s not there anymore. Loup is behind Black, horizontally slashing at him. Black blocks behind his back, but his block is overpowered and he gets a cut across his back. Black turns, slashing at where Loup was, but Loup is now back by Tora. Black scowls.
Black: I guess I’ll really die if I don’t treat you like a Hunter.
Black grips his sword with both hands and slashes downwards. Faster than they can react, Loup and Tora are blasted backwards by the air pressure. Black appears between them as they fly through the air and kicks Loup through two buildings. Loup rolls to a stop on the next street over. Black appears with his foot planted on Loup’s chest and raises his sword. Tora suddenly punches Black in the back. Black stumbles forwards slightly and Tora steps between him and Loup. Black gives Tora a glare.
Black: I forgot about you. You should have used that opportunity to escape.
Tora: Yeah, right, like I’d lose to Loup that way! We’re rivals. We push each other and get stronger!
Black: Do it in hell.
Black appears back in front of Loup and slashes down at him. Tora turns and catches the blade by the flat. Loup looks at Tora with wide eyes.
Loup: You idiot, you can’t stop that blow!
Tora: I know! I’m buying time for you to move, so move!
Black’s sword pushes Tora’s arms down, almost touching his head. Loup moves out of the way and prepares for a counterattack. Tora’s arms give out and Black’s sword crashes down on his head.
Tora: Aaaaah!
Cut to Shiro and Aoi at the campfire. Shiro hears Tora’s screams and looks in that direction. She stands up. Her eyes are full of tears.
Aoi: Shiro, don’t be reckless—
Shiro: Shut up! I’m going to Tora!
Shiro runs off towards Tora’s scream.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2017, 07:10:16 PM by Canislupus54 »

Offline Canislupus54

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Random scene from Byakko(tentative title)
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2017, 02:52:00 PM »
Here's the scene immediately following.

Loup looks at Tora’s corpse in shock. Then, he glares at Black. Black merely rests his sword on his shoulder and smiles at Loup.
Loup: You bastard! What did you do?
Black: He sacrificed himself for you. That’s noble. I guess he was a Hunter after all.
Loup: You… I’ll kill you!
Shiro screams from off panel. Loup turns his attention to her. Black continues smiling.
Loup: Shiro, no, stay back!
Shiro runs to Tora’s corpse and kneels by his side. Tears run down her face. She puts her hand on his shoulder and gently shakes him.
Shiro: Hey, Tora, wake up… smiles weakly This is no time for a nap. Wake up. Please…
Black: Another bug has come to be squashed. This is turning out to be pretty fun.
Loup: screams in rage.
Loup grips his sword with both hands and charges Black. Loup stabs at Black’s chest. Black sidesteps the attack and the air pressure from Loup’s attack destroys a nearby building. Black grabs Loup by the face and slams him down into the ground, then releases him and punches at him. Loup rolls out of the way.
Loup gets to his feet and slashes downwards at Black. Black sidesteps to the left. Loup brings his sword up diagonally towards Black. Black tilts his head to avoid the blow, but the sword grazes the side of this head.
Loup appears behind Black and stabs at his back. Black casually blocks without looking, then does a spinning kick, hitting Loup in the side and sending him flying into a building on the side of the street.
Loup tries to stand, using his sword to support himself. Black laughs, then appears in front of Loup and kicks him in the face, knocking him over. Loup tries to stand again, but Black steps on his back.
Black: Why do you keep trying to stand up? It’s useless, don’t waste your energy!
Black raises his foot and slams it down on top of Loup. Loup coughs up blood.
Black: You “I’m a hero of justice, I’ll never give up!” types really piss me off! Just stand still and die!
Shiro(from off panel): Stop it…
Black turns his head to look at her. Shiro’s head is down, her eyes are shadowed by the hood of her cloak. She stands up. Black smiles mockingly and slams his foot down on Loup again.
Black: What was that, weakling?
Shiro raises her head, revealing her eyes, tears are still flowing.
Shiro: I said stop!
Shiro rushes forward. Black smirks and swings his sword one-handed at Shiro. Shiro bats the sword aside with her bare right hand, shattering the blade and causing Black to lose his grip on the hilt. The hilt sails through the air and shatters a nearby window. Black’s eyes are widened in surprise. Shiro punches Black in the stomach and sends him flying backwards. Black hits the ground and slides to a stop, but Shiro is next to him and kicks him in the side, launching him into the air and over the buildings lining the side of the street. Shiro runs to catch him, crashing straight through the walls of the buildings he flew over.
Black is on the ground, Shiro goes to slam her foot down on his chest, but Black catches it with his right hand. Black grits his teeth from the effort.
Black: So strong. Maybe if you were here your friend would be alive!
Shiro: Tora? You don’t get to talk about my big brother!
A crack is heard as Black’s arm breaks, allowing Shiro’s foot to slam down on his chest with another crack. Black coughs up blood. Shiro lightly kicks Black and he rolls down the street into a pair of barrels. Black props himself up with his left arm, then stands. His right arm hangs limp by his side. Shiro glares at him.
Shiro raises a hand and a ball of energy forms in it, She makes a throwing motion and the ball hits Black, causing an explostion. Black comes charging out of the smoke and punches Shiro in the face. She doesn’t react at all. Shiro sweeps her legs under Black, knocking his legs out from under him, then kicks him out of the air, sending him flying through two buildings and through the wall of another, into a shop. Shiro appears in front of him and grabs him by the hair, then tosses him through another wall.
Black stands. Shiro appears in front of him and pummels him with countless punches. She finishes with a kick. Black tenses up and the kick only sends him sliding back through one more wall and back onto the streets.
Shiro appears in front of him. She raises her fist for a punch, then opens her hand into a claw-like formation.
Shiro: This’ll finish it! Tiger’s Claw!
A panel with Shiro in shadow and (the attack name in kanji but this forum won't let me write that) written across it.
Blades of inochi appear on her fingers. She slashes at Black.
Black raises his left hand and blocks the blow. All the buildings around them are cut into pieces. Scratches appear on Black’s chest despite his block. Shiro’s eyes are wide with surprise.
Loup appears and stabs Black in the stomach while running, pushing Black back into a fruit stand. He withdraws his sword and leaps back to Shiro before Black can counterattack. Black stands, covered in blood. His head is down.
Black: You damn hero-types! If I see you again, you’re dead!
Black disappears.
Shiro falls to her knees and starts crying again, burying her face in her hands. Loup stands awkwardly to the side and looks away.
Loup: We should head back… We need to…
Shiro nods with dull eyes of unhappiness.
Shiro: We need to bury him.
Cut to Shiro and Loup by Tora’s corpse. Shiro takes Tora’s scarf and cries into it. Cut to Shiro, Loup, and Aoi standing by a grave.
Cut to Black in a cave, leaning against a rock.
A woman wearing a long black dress enters the cave.
Woman: Those brats forced you to use a third of your power?
Black: They were strong. Especially the white haired girl. I didn’t see her ears but if I had to guess I’d say she’s half Kuugami. In other words… close up on Black a demon!
« Last Edit: October 10, 2017, 03:13:20 PM by Canislupus54 »

Offline Canislupus54

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Scenes from Byakko(tentative title)
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2017, 07:11:31 PM »
The Intro:

Tora is pressed against the side of a building, looking nervously around the corner.
Tora(thinking): I can’t let my target know I’m here. I’ll have to do this quickly. Steady now, Tora. She can smell fear.
Tora moves to grab something from his back pocket.
Someone is giggling from off panel.
Tora starts stepping around the corner.
Tora(thinking): Now, for my opening move. I’ll—
Girl(off panel): I know you’re there, Tora!
Tora trips on a rock. He falls to the ground, face first. He quickly stands up and dusts himself off.
Tora: How did you know!?
Girl: I heard Shiro giggling. Anyone would have heard it.
Shiro peaks out from behind the corner.
Shiro: Sorry, Tora…
Tora smiles at Shiro and gives her a thumbs up.
Tora: Don’t worry about it, Shiro, I won’t let something like this stop me!
Shiro: Do your best!
Shiro ducks back behind the corner.
Tora turns back to the other girl.
Tora: All right! Please go out with me!
Tora holds his hand out to present something, only to realize his hand is empty.
Tora: Crap, I got a really nice flower for you, but I must have dropped it when I tripped!
The girl has a sweat drop.
Girl: That’s sweet, Tora…
Tora: Is that a yes?
Shiro giggles off-panel.
Girl: It’s nice of you to do things like this to make Shiro laugh!
Tora: But I really was asking you out…
Girl: Anyway, I already have someone l like, sorry!
Tora(thinking): She’s not listening at all.
Small panel of Tora thinking
Small panel of Tora making a shocked face.
Tora: It’s Loup, isn’t it!?
Girl: N-no!
Shot of Loup approaching, holding a paper bag.
Loup: There’s some simple reasons she said no.
Tora: Oh, and what’s that?
Loup: You stalked her, brought your little sister along, and completely failed to read the atmosphere.
Tora: Hypocrite, you were following us, weren’t you!?
Loup holds up his bag.
Loup: Actually I was buying the groceries, like Leo asked.
Shiro steps out from behind the corner.
Shiro: Just call him Dad already!
Loup looks silently at Shiro.
Loup looks back to Tora.
Loup: We should get back home. Tomorrow is an important day.
Tora grins.
Tora: I guess. (turns to the girl, who is now gone) What!?
Loup: She left a while ago.
Shiro: I thought you noticed…
Tora and Loup return home.
Tora’s father, Leo, is waiting form them outside.
Leo: Hey, what were you two up to?
Loup: Their usual antics.
Leo: As long it’s not trouble!
Caption: The Next Day…
Leo, Loup, Tora, and Shiro stand in a temple with a priest, who is holding a deflated rubber ball in is left hand.
Priest: You’re always so prompt! Most people in the sleepy countryside aren’t so eager to have their inochi measured.
Tora grins.
Tora: Well we’re not most people!
The priest laughs.
Priest: Since you’re so fired up, why don’t you go first, Tora?
Tora: All right, I’ll burst this ball!
Tora grabs the rubber ball from the priest’s hand.
Tora holds up the ball at eye level. It inflates to a normal size.
Priest: As usual, you’re levels are… respectable.
Tora sighs.
Tora hands the ball to Loup.
Loup holds the ball up like Tora did.
The ball inflates to a huge size.
Priest: Such power and control! Have you been practicing?
Loup: Not really.
Loup throws the ball to Shiro.
Shiro catches the ball.
The ball deflates completely.
Shiro frowns.
Tora: I’m sure you’re just a late bloomer!
Shiro smiles.
Shiro: Yeah. But that’s not important right now. With your inochi, you should qualify for the Knights!
Tora: Yeah, I’ll be captain of the King’s Guard in no time!
Loup: That’s impossible. That’s my position.
Tora: I’ll fight you for it!
Loup: No thanks.
Caption: One week later…
Tora, Loup, Leo, and Shiro walk up to a huge walled city. There’s a group of young people gathered outside the gates, looking depressed.
Tora: Hey, what’s the matter!? We’re all here to join the Knights, right? This is a great day!
Girl at the back of the group: Some nobles are blocking the way.
Shot of two confident, well dressed young men standing side-by-side in front of the gates. They’re talking to a boy trying to enter.
Girl: They say they won’t let “trash like us” join the Knights anymore.
Tora scowls at the two nobles.
Shot of the nobles, still talking to the same boy.
Noble #1: Only the high born have the right to be Knights!
Tora’s fist crashes into Noble #1’s face.
Noble #1 goes flying back into the wall.
Noble #2: What!?
Tora goes to punch him too.
Noble #2 catches Tora’s fist, then knees him in the stomach.
Noble #1 runs back to Tora and elbows him in the face, knocking him over.
Noble #1: That wasn’t bad for a country bumpkin, but you can’t stand up to nobles like us!
Noble #2 raises his hand. A small ball of energy appears.
Suddenly, Loup is between the nobles and Tora. He punches the nobles in their faces simultaneously.
Both nobles go flying backwards and slam into the wall. They fall to the ground, unconscious.
Tora stands up.
The crowd cheers and floods through the gates.
The girl from earlier walks up to Tora and Loup.
Girl: Thanks for the help. I’m Lavender.
Tora: No problem! We won’t let jerks like them get their way!
Loup: They were annoying.
Lavender: Well, let’s go!
Tora: Yeah!

Offline Canislupus54

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Scenes from Byakko(tentative title)
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2017, 11:18:08 PM »
Tora, Loup, Lavender, and Shiro stand in front of coliseum-like building.
Tora: Wow, it’s so big in person!
Shiro: It’s cool!
Lavender: I know, right?
Panel of Loup staring silently at the building, smiling slightly.
Tora: Well, let’s not waste time. Let’s be Knights!
Lavender: Yeah!
Shiro: Go, Tora!
The four enter the building and encounter a long line with a guard at the front.
Shiro: I’ll be cheering for you!
Shiro walks away.
Tora, Loup, and Lavender look at the line.
They sigh and walk to the line.
Caption: Two hours later…
Loup is at the front of the line, with Lavender and Tora behind him.
Loup goes to enter the arena, but the guard stops him and points to Loup’s sword.
Guard: No killing blows.
Loup: Right. I doubt I’ll even need Yaga for this.
Guard: Be confident, not arrogant. Go on in.
Loup walks into the arena.
A bird’s eye view shot of the arena. It’s sectioned off into six portions, all except for one have two people in them. The remaining section has only one person in it.
Loup walks into the section with only one person in it. The person is a man about the same height as Loup, resting an axe on his shoulder.
The man waves lazily at Loup.
Man: Hey, I’m your test proctor today. The name’s Bill. What are you trying for?
Loup: Loup. The King’s Guard.
Bill: Not the talkative type I see. Let’s get going then!
Bill charges at Loup, his axe raised over his head.
Bill stops just in front of Loup and swings his axe down.
Loup grabs the axe by the shaft and wrenches it out of Bill’s hands.
Loup throws the axe aside.
Loup punches at Bill’s stomach, but Bill catches the punch.
 Loup knees Bill in the stomach.
Bill smiles and punches Loup in the face, causing him to stagger backwards.
Bill kicks Loup in the chest, sending him flying back, hitting the wall of the arena.
Bill: You’re strong, but you need more than that to beat me.
Loup stands and dusts himself off.
Loup launches at Bill and kicks him in the face.
Bill punches at Loup’s face.
Loup ducks under the blow and elbows Bill in the stomach.
While Bill is stunned, Loup draws his sword and slashes across Bill’s face.
Bill gets a long, shallow cut across his face.
Bill smirks.
Bill: Welcome to the Knights, kid. The King’s Guard will be lucky to have you!
Loup: Thanks.
Loup walks back to Lavender and Tora.
Lavender: That was cool!
Loup: Yeah.
Guard: Next.
Lavender: Right!
Lavender walks over to Bill, who is holding his axe again.
Lavender: Okay, let’s go!
Lavender makes a throwing motion. A ball of energy flies at Bill and explodes.
Bill emerged from the smoke with his axe ready. Lavender leaps over him and fires another energy ball, which also explodes, at the height of her jump.
Lavender lands behind Bill and fires another energy ball at him. The ball explodes on contact.
The smoke clears to reveal Bill unharmed.
Lavender runs in a circle around him, then runs straight at him.
Lavender taps Bill on the chest.
The circle Lavender ran in and the semicircle of her jump arc glow.
There is a huge explosion.
The smoke clears to reveal Bill with an energy barrier around him, unharmed.
Bill: Not bad, but your tactics are more suited to fighting malbeasts. You’ll make a great Hunter.
Lavender smiles.
Lavender: That’s actually what I wanted, so great!
Lavender starts walking back towards the line.
Tora zooms past Lavender into the section and flashes Bill a confident smile.
Tora: Let’s get to the part where I kick your ass!
Shiro is in the audience, waving her hands high in the air.
Shiro: Go Tora! Do your best!
Bill: I like your enthusiasm!
Tora: Thanks!
Tora runs at Bill and punches at Bill’s face with his right hand
Bill leans out of the way, only for Tora’s other fist to hit him in the stomach.
Bill recovers and elbows Tora in the stomach, sending him flying across the section of the arena. Tora lands on his back and slides backwards.
Tora stands up.
Tora: I’m not done!
Tora runs at Bill again and kicks him in the face. Bill falls over.
Bill sweeps Tora’s legs out from under him and kicks him high up into the air. Tora falls back to the ground with a thud.
Tora stands up.
Tora: I’m not done!
Tora runs at Bill and head butts him. Bill stumbles backwards. Tora follows up with an uppercut that launches Bill into the air.
Bill recovers and lands on his feet in a crouch.
Tora runs up and kicks Bill in the face. Bill falls over. Bill laughs.
Bill: That tenacity is good! But it takes more than that to be a King’s Guardsmen. You’re assigned to the Hunter Corps.
Tora looks upset.
Tora: What? But Loup made it into the King’s Guard…
Loup walks up behind and puts a hand on Tora’s shoulder.
Loup: Don’t worry about it, Tora. I’ll follow you into the Hunter Corps. We’re rivals, after all.
Tora: Loup… but your dream…
Loup: It wouldn’t be worth having this way. Get stronger, and we’ll enter the King’s Guard together!
Tora smiles broadly.
Tora: Yeah!
Tora and Loup walk out of the arena. Shiro and Lavender are waiting for them outside.
Shiro: Sorry you didn’t get into the King’s Guard, Tora.
Tora smiles.
Tora: It’s okay, I’m not done yet!