My first manga it (shouen/scifi/isekai) it name is (YES! can fight or can fight)

[smastermangawriter]

Hello it my first time doing this I've never written manga or novel before i have good score literature and been watching anime and studying it since I was 13 yrs old, I currently watch up to 56 anime and read up 70 manga but lately first time in my life i have this crazy brain worm telling me to write this manga or idea. Hope you like it this, just a sample please give strict feedback and show me mistakes in my idea's please/thank.


My story beginning, In space there are 2 warring religious fractions that has been in war for century and a half, one fraction beliefs that all living things should be under control and detach themselves from the enjoyment of life that chaos in essence occurs through freedom and attachment this fraction is the virth and while other beliefs in freedom and attachment amongst living thing and enjoy all the gifts of life has to offer this fraction is zazkyo. Through these disagreement of beliefs we have our war but each fraction has unique ability they can command matter with unique force call (sensoi) for how each fraction get this ability has been lost amongst the century of hate between these 2 fractions, each fraction has there own protagonist and antagonist we follow them in final battle they recall in their fraction, until the (EVENT) which was caused by bomb which contain the power of (FIVE) gamma ray burst this, rip a hole in space-time causing wormhole which envelop our 2 main chars. A week has pass since this event our chars awoke to world call (warth) that doesn't make sense with strange creatures and humanoids they never seen before with all them using a strange power call (MAGIC), but while they explore this new world they unexpected ran into each other. How fast do you think they FIGHT!

well guys this is the premise hope you enjoy the sample, please give feedback and future thanks

[araithiel]

This is the premise or like set-up, but not really the actual narrative, as far as I can read. What is the story actually about, who are we following, what are they like, and what's the plot arc? This sounds like the opening to The Devil is a Part Timer sort of, but the part you have here only covers basically the first two minutes of that show, and is missing the other 99% of what it's really about (a derpy devil trying to be a part-timer in a lazy human world and sort of settling into a routine instead of escaping).

So what is the goal of the characters? They are sucked into this world and then what? They are struggling to get back? They want to conquer it? They begin to spread religion there? Why would they fight each other now that they're in a new world and no longer pressured?

Second note, and this is a general isekai rule:

You're moving characters from one fantasy realm to another, and neither of them are the actual human realm. Typically, the purpose in moving them to a different realm is to change the rules on them and to give them a new or unique experience, either by putting a regular dude in a fantasy land and giving powers or putting a fantasy character in a regular world and removing powers. This appears to just be moving existing fantasy peeps to another fantasy place with slightly different rules, so I'm not sure how that will affect their growth/change. Usually you move them to a world that either gives or takes so that they have to adapt. This is more like "hey you had a power over here, you're used to having power, don't worry that isn't gone, now it's called something different here and is a bit different power but there's still power." At a conceptual level, nothing is really lost. It's possible the narrative that's missing I pointed out above solves this problem though so this could all be nothing.

[smastermangawriter]

thank you very much this only a sample sir i'm planning on releasing a chapter as soon as i'm finish, expect i be done on Tuesday. the problems you pointed out are true but one i have current problem with is that MC has to have no powers before being transported to another world isekai is currently just recycling itself until it get unpopular. In which main char has to be some weak, normal or worthless person who get transported to a world where he become a badass through plot relevant points and making his character likable. With my idea I expect to at least change the mold of currently isekai where the story revolves around with 2 main character who already has power from there universe coming into fantasy universe and how there power interact with magic for your other questions it be answer when i release the chapter on Tuesday.