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Author Topic: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?  (Read 304 times)

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Offline YoUr EyEs

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Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« on: September 05, 2017, 02:42:30 PM »

After my french class ended in the most normal way possible, my teacher came to me and asked me if I was avaiable after school for a "guidance". (That's like forcing someone to say yes...)

Anyway, I went and my teacher told me that he always look my way during class and that he can't stop thinking about me at home...TBH I couldn't answer to that and left quickly but, how am I supposed to go back to my next french class? I am way too stressed...

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2017, 02:48:32 PM »
Get the authorities involved right now. That behavior is unprofessional and unacceptable within the teaching career. As a future teacher, I would deck that sonnuva b*tch in the face. All you have to say is that he requested to talk with you alone off of school grounds and that it made you uncomfortable and if he retaliates in any way, most places in the world have something in place for him to be fired for that form of discrimination.
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!"--Marquis de Sade
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Offline 50 Words for Paipis

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2017, 05:42:14 PM »
Since you are 20, this is a college class, correct? Drop that mofo, immediately. It's before the drop date for most universities, so you have time. If you need the class this semester, try to see if you can enroll for an eight week course with another teacher. Imo, unless he said what he said in a threatening way or made some physical advance or otherwise intentionally violated your safety, I don't necessarily see anything wrong with what he did. You are both adults. However, it is incredibly understandable that you are uncomfortable with it, and you have enough stress to deal with in college. If you drop the class, he should get the message that you aren't interested and neither will have to deal with the other after the fact. In that sense, it is best for both parties. If he continues to bother you, that is stalking and you should contact the authorities.

If, like we all have done at some point in our lives, you have put a different age than your own on your profile, and are in high school or middle school, see Mahlua's advice.

Offline Operative13

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2017, 06:02:05 PM »
Right off the bat, I can say this guy is not a good person. First he asks for time after school for "guidance" - already something misleading - then he begins to go about how he's always looking your way and having "thoughts"... I don't care how many times romance movies show that type of behavior, that act is creepy. If this was a different situation, I would have said otherwise, but this one is not acceptable.

There's a reason it is forbidden to have student-teacher relationships and that's because of bias. The moment there is some sort of relationship, it disrupts the academic environment and damages people's ability to learn. Not just yourself, but other people as well. It was stupid of him to even consider asking that question and much more so to use his authority to mislead you about your meeting.

Like I said, had it been any other situation, I would have said otherwise, but if I were the one-in-charge, I'd have the man investigated. Doesn't matter if it's one person out of a thousand teachers asking once, there is a standard that every teacher uphold their pledge on maintaining an academic environment among their pupils. If this idiot can't even keep his mouth shut for that, I have to question his motive for teaching.  :ninja:
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Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2017, 06:46:23 PM »
Even in a college environment, making an advance for a student enrolled in your course is usually against quite a few rules due to the bias issue that Op explained. It can be taken to the Dean of Students or someone higher than him in the department. His behavior is unacceptable. Period.
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!"--Marquis de Sade
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Offline 50 Words for Paipis

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2017, 07:58:43 PM »
Of course it's unacceptable on a professional level. But it's not necessarily predatory behavior.

Offline YoUr EyEs

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2017, 10:56:26 AM »
Get the authorities involved right now. That behavior is unprofessional and unacceptable within the teaching career. As a future teacher, I would deck that sonnuva b*tch in the face. All you have to say is that he requested to talk with you alone off of school grounds and that it made you uncomfortable and if he retaliates in any way, most places in the world have something in place for him to be fired for that form of discrimination.


I am uncomfortable with it and I did felt forced to attend that "guidance" of his, yet by having the authorities involved would make me more stressed, I will try to get transfered in another class.

I don't think that I will be able to get back and study in this kind of environment tbh.

Since you are 20, this is a college class, correct? Drop that mofo, immediately. It's before the drop date for most universities, so you have time. If you need the class this semester, try to see if you can enroll for an eight week course with another teacher. Imo, unless he said what he said in a threatening way or made some physical advance or otherwise intentionally violated your safety, I don't necessarily see anything wrong with what he did. You are both adults. However, it is incredibly understandable that you are uncomfortable with it, and you have enough stress to deal with in college. If you drop the class, he should get the message that you aren't interested and neither will have to deal with the other after the fact. In that sense, it is best for both parties. If he continues to bother you, that is stalking and you should contact the authorities.

If, like we all have done at some point in our lives, you have put a different age than your own on your profile, and are in high school or middle school, see Mahlua's advice.


Yes, I am in college~
I am thinking of transfering in a new french class tbh, for personal reasons I cannot afford to drop any classes at the moment.

I think that it is wrong for him to ask me out knowing that he is my teacher, should a teacher behave like that and make me feel more stressed than what I am already putting up with college? Dunno but I think that there is a proper way for things to be in a school.

Right off the bat, I can say this guy is not a good person. First he asks for time after school for "guidance" - already something misleading - then he begins to go about how he's always looking your way and having "thoughts"... I don't care how many times romance movies show that type of behavior, that act is creepy. If this was a different situation, I would have said otherwise, but this one is not acceptable.

There's a reason it is forbidden to have student-teacher relationships and that's because of bias. The moment there is some sort of relationship, it disrupts the academic environment and damages people's ability to learn. Not just yourself, but other people as well. It was stupid of him to even consider asking that question and much more so to use his authority to mislead you about your meeting.

Like I said, had it been any other situation, I would have said otherwise, but if I were the one-in-charge, I'd have the man investigated. Doesn't matter if it's one person out of a thousand teachers asking once, there is a standard that every teacher uphold their pledge on maintaining an academic environment among their pupils. If this idiot can't even keep his mouth shut for that, I have to question his motive for teaching.  :ninja:


I really felt like running away, either he just thought that it might not be a big deal or he is a .... anyway.

I totally agree with you~


Offline 50 Words for Paipis

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2017, 03:34:49 PM »
^You were there and know the situation better than I do, so I'll trust your discretion, not that it matters whether I do or not.

Offline YoUr EyEs

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2017, 04:43:09 PM »
It does matter to me and all of you are helping me out~

Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2017, 07:33:59 PM »
I hope that things clear up for you and that you'll be able to transfer into another French class.

Even at the University level, it is in fact very inappropriate for his position, at least speaking from the United States. Typically it's expected to not even make an advance until the student has graduated the University entirely and no longer has that "student" status due to how the student-teacher dynamic is supposed to work, so it frustrates me a lot that he did such a thing. At the very least, I believe that the student may not be enrolled in any of your courses in order for such things to be permissible, but just because it may or may not technically "be against the rules" is hardly the problem here. The problem is that he made you uncomfortable, and that in and of itself is unprofessional and not at all how teaching works.

Ugh, I'm just...literally this emoji: >:(
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!"--Marquis de Sade
"A loss of innocence / one hand to wash the other / be a perfectionist / you're nothing if you're just another"--TBM, "Goodnight"
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Offline devola

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2017, 08:41:58 PM »
After my french class ended in the most normal way possible, my teacher came to me and asked me if I was avaiable after school for a "guidance". (That's like forcing someone to say yes...)

The fact that he exploited his position as a teacher by calling it "guidance" is the really concerning part... that HAS to be grounds for SOME kind of punishment. I mean there's asking someone out and then there's abusing your position to force someone into an uncomfortable situation.

Offline YoUr EyEs

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2017, 11:49:35 AM »
I hope that things clear up for you and that you'll be able to transfer into another French class.

Even at the University level, it is in fact very inappropriate for his position, at least speaking from the United States. Typically it's expected to not even make an advance until the student has graduated the University entirely and no longer has that "student" status due to how the student-teacher dynamic is supposed to work, so it frustrates me a lot that he did such a thing. At the very least, I believe that the student may not be enrolled in any of your courses in order for such things to be permissible, but just because it may or may not technically "be against the rules" is hardly the problem here. The problem is that he made you uncomfortable, and that in and of itself is unprofessional and not at all how teaching works.

Ugh, I'm just...literally this emoji: >:(



Thank you~

I have requested a transfer and I was told that they would see what they can do.
Hopefully it will be approved.

After my french class ended in the most normal way possible, my teacher came to me and asked me if I was avaiable after school for a "guidance". (That's like forcing someone to say yes...)

The fact that he exploited his position as a teacher by calling it "guidance" is the really concerning part... that HAS to be grounds for SOME kind of punishment. I mean there's asking someone out and then there's abusing your position to force someone into an uncomfortable situation.


It definetly is an abuse and hopefully I can get transfered out of his class.

Offline YoUr EyEs

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2017, 02:44:54 PM »
Just an update on the situation.

I am allowed to go to another french class~! YaY!

Offline Forlorn Serpent

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2017, 06:24:59 PM »


Im sorry, I had to do it.

Jokes aside. I would have done the same.
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Offline MahluaandMilk

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Re: Have you ever been asked out by a teacher?
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2017, 02:03:39 PM »
I'm glad to hear that the transfer was approved. I hope the semester goes well for you.
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!"--Marquis de Sade
"A loss of innocence / one hand to wash the other / be a perfectionist / you're nothing if you're just another"--TBM, "Goodnight"
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