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Author Topic: Love as our only weapon  (Read 192 times)

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Offline HyunHyun

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Love as our only weapon
« on: August 17, 2017, 10:57:48 AM »

Plot: Woo Hyun-Ah lives a life without any hardship of life, however everything will change when Kishimoto Shin, a Japanese foreigner became her neighbor, her peaceful life will shatter and rock bottom will follow.

Genre: Drama, Romance, Thriller, Mystery

Chapters: 22 chapters

Writer: HyunHyun

Offline HyunHyun

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Re: Love as our only weapon
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2017, 10:58:03 AM »
File 1: Calm before disaster

 
Spoiler
In this particular night, this particular rain was coming down heavily, one could have thought that the gods were sad. Was that saddness caused by the teared apart hearts, or was it sadened by blood that was spilled that night?

 

On a fresh autumn morning, at a restaurant named the "Happy Fish", this is were this story of started to unfold the hatred and unhappiness of others.

 

Hyun was your typical Korean young woman, her kindness was well carried by her beauty, accepted into a wealthy family and to a fiance she loves, who wouldn't be happy? That is what her friends were discussing amongst them.

 

First was Da-Hye, she was also pretty but, mostly mocked because of surguries done to her chin, she was a rich and pesky woman.

"-Her husband will soon cheat on her, not a single man can be trusted." She claimed coldly before taking a sip of coffee.

 

"-Isn't that the experience of being cheated on speaking?" Yoon-Soo, a middle-aged woman questionned mockingly, she brushed her short hairs and added. "-Surgeries are probably the reason he did that, Da Hye-darling."

 

"-...Ugh!" Bitting her lips, Da-Hye turned her head away from their conversation but, continued to follow it with a distant interest

 

"-You shouldn't say such things to Da-Hye, have you two started hating men?"

 

Hyun sighted and took her phone out to check the time. "11 A.M only..." She thought to herself.

 

"-Am I not supposed to?" Yoon-Soo smiled and decided to not add anymore than what she already said.

 

"-Anyway, why did you ask us to gather here Hyun?" Da-Hye said to her friend.

 

The young woman regained full interest in the conversation, she had raised her hand to the waiter to refill her cup.

 

"-Ah! I almost forgot..." Hyun put her hand in her handbag searching for something, soon she dragged out two lipsticks. "-Our new product is ready! Can you guys test them out as always?"

 

"-...Ugh"

 

"-Da-Hye, we promised to do it and stop that attitude already."

 

"-Thank you!"  Hyun was overjoyed and went to hug both of her friends but, Da-Hye pushed her gently away.

 

"-I better not grow weird stuff on my lips afterwards, understand?" Da-Hye said with a smile that finally allowed Hyun to hug them.

 

"-Isn't it time for you to go pick up Jae-Hee?" Yoon-Soo looked at her watch. "-We can always continue tomorrow."

 

"-No, it's ok, Seung-Jae said that he would go pick her up from school."

 

Da-Hye clicked her tongue at the name of her friend's husband name. Jealousy, maybe? Or was it because herself couldn't have an happy family.

 

"-Da-Hye?" Hyun was worried that something had brought her friend's mood down.

 

"-What did you need to tell us anyway?" Ignoring the worries was Da-Hye.

 

"-I want you guys to attend at my wedding next month!"

 

"-WHAT!?" Both Da-Hye and Yoon-Soo reacted, everyone in the restaurant turned around to look at what was disturbing their dinner.

 

It is always said how important it is to invite those whom you call your family and friends but, sometimes would it be better to step on this rule? Looking back, was it the wedding announcement that crumbled the peace that was bestowing their daily lives?

 

Seung-Jae was the son of a wealthy man, he inherited his family buisness after the father passed away, he was very good looking, his feminine figure and gesture added a sense of mystery to him.

 

"-Did you have fun in school Jae-Hee?"  Seung-Jae pressed the play button of his car radio, an american pop song was playing.

 

"-Did you have fun in work, old man?" Jae-Hee, the daughter of Seung-Jae and Hyun smiled innocently.

 

"-Hey you, I told you not to call me that." Her father replied with a serious tone before starting the car engine. "-If you knew better, 32 years of age isn't old."

 

"-Is this what the current society says now?" Jae-Hee took her cellphone from her school bag and opened the screen.

 

"-What do you mean?"

 

"-You know, papa, there was a time when the human life span couldn't pass over 35 years old." The child plugged her headphones in her phone and played a Korean ceremony anthem.

 

Seung-Jae glanced at his daughter and finally decided to concentrate on the road.

 

"-Kids this day are really scary and that is supposed to be my daughter..." He gave up talking any further with his daughter.

 

[...]

 

"-You are seriously getting married?" Yoon-Soo was shocked at the wedding annoncement that Hyun made.

 

"-Yes, I love Seung-Jae, you know?"

 

"-...Until he'll cheat on you that is." Da-Hye added coldly as if her emotions were ripped apart.

 

"-How old are you?" Asked Hyun to her friend giving back the same cold tone that she recieved from her.

 

"-You already know that, why do you ask?"

 

As the two seemed on edge, Kim's ringtone went on, as she stood up, she made a hand sign telling her friends that she would be quick.

 

"-You are 22 years old, you have been cheated on 8 times in the past year, haven't you?" Hyun smiled coldly and finally gave a signal to Yoon-Soo that they would be waiting.

 

"-...Ugh!" Da-Hye went back to bitting her lips, a sign of defeat that made her friend giggled.

 

"-Listen, Da-Hye, we've been friends since elementary school and I am inviting you to a very special day for me, I would be happy if you wouldn't behave like you are doing right now..." Hyun was serious, she was staring in her friends eyes, searching for a way to understand why was her friend so jealous?

 

Meanwhile, Yoon-Soo returned to their table and sat down with her eyes empty, she wasn't looking at nothing in particular but, neither was she not looking at something. "What was it about?" Hyun wanted to ask but kept her mouth sealed, she wouldn't want to make the situation worst.

 

"-What was it about?" Da-Hye asked, she did not seemed to care about it at all, she was looking at the passing by clients of the restaurant rather than her friend.

 

"-Nothing." Yoon-Soo replied coldly, she was obviously hiding something. "-Anyway, I have to get going, text me about the wedding Hyun." She briefly stood up and walked away in a pressing way.

 

"-I wonder what happened to her?" Hyun felt that her friend was way too preoccupied at that phone call to say that it was nothing.

 

"-Who cares?" Da-Hye was gasing and smiling to a young man sitting in the table next to theirs.

 

Everyone around Da-Hye knew that her husband started dating a mistress behind her back, he wasn't the kind of man that had the idea of loyalty in mind, for him a wife was not different than a mistress. The young woman found out her husband San's relationship around two months later, her heart was broken but, she decided to cheat on her husband too although she was rather unsuccessful at it.

 

"-Da-Hye this is the son of your husband friend, you cannot act this harshly..." Hyun warned her friend and decided that she didn't want to witness Da-Hye cheating on her husband, she stood up firmly. "-I will be going then, good luck." Hyun said as she started walking away from the table.

 

How does a crime occur? How does love strike One? Isn't it because One's daily life was broken? On this autumn morning, two events broke their routines. How should One know when it has been changed?

 

[...]

Na-Ra, the sister of Seung-Jae, was a CEO at the family buisness, her red hair blended perferctly with her pale skin but, this was what made her pretty, she was a trouble child despite knowing she was beautiful.

 

"-Are you the one that has rented the house next to us?"

 

Na-Ra had picked up the daily newspaper from the mail box and approached a middle-aged man. He was tall and had bangs covering most of his face.

 

"-I am." He did not seem like the chatty type, which Na-Ra had expected.

 

"-I live here with my older brother and sister-in-law, it's nice to meet a kid with such a dark vibe around him." Na-Ra said without any consideration as she noticed her brother's car. "-Speaking of the devil..."

 

"-You are pretty, miss." The young man turned his heels and walked as fast as he could to his house.

 

"-I guess he isn't bad either." Na-Ra gazed at the young man's house and smiled.

 

"-Hi, Auntie!" Jae-Hee barely got out of the car that she went to hug her aunt.

 

"-Did you have fun in school?"

 

"-Yes, today I had a lot of fun, Auntie." The child smiled to her aunt and took out a school paper showing that she had 100% on a quiz.

 

"-WOW, congrats!" Na-Ra looked at the quiz, amased by her niece, she patted her head. "-Go on, I have to talk to your father, okay?" She said as her brother was approaching toward them.

 

"-Okay." Jae-Hae took back her quiz in her aunt's hand and walked to the house, she glanced back with a smile before going in.

 

"-Listen to me, you are my brother and father already refused, so..." Na-Ra was using tears forcefully out to act as a victim.

 

"-Huh?"

 

Seung-Jae knew where this conversation was heading, she asked him to lend her money, a vast amount that he couldn't recall, her previous husband had taken her money and had run away to the United States. Their father, Kim Jae-Dong, owner of the family buisness had refused to lend even a penny to his daughter, claiming that he had failed to raise a buisness woman in her.

 

"-Who is that guy that you were speaking to?" Seung-Jae changed the subject quickly enough.

 

"-...Oh, yeah, he just moved in, he isn't the social type but." Na-Ra was obviously an easy-going woman, Seung-Jae grinned as he successfully changed the topic of their conversation.

 

"-Is that so, anyway, Hyun should arrive quickly enough, I'll go wash up before that." As soon as he said that, he walked as quickly as he could and left his sister outside.

 

Na-Ra hanged around a bit and finally decided to go harrass her brother more for a loan but, the greedy woman was interrupted by a car that she quickly recongnized, it was Hyun's.

 

"-If it isn't my wonderful sister-in-law!" Na-Ra was smiling happily as her brother's fiancee stepped out of the car with her shoppings goods.

 

"-Na-Ra, I am not lending you any money." Hyun understood that such a warm greeting was hiding some kind of motive to it.

 

"-I haven't even asked you anything yet!"

 

"-You were about to do so, right?" Hyun asked with a gentle smile and looked around to see if her future husband was around but, her eyes met those of her new neighbor. "-Who is this?" She asked faintly to her sister-in-law.

 

"-Your new neighbor, he is a real playboy." Na-Ra turned her face around, she couldn't find the courage to look at the young man. Was she shy? No but, something about that man had awoken something that had been sleeping deep inside her.

 

"-Isn't he the type of man you like, Kim Na-Ra?" Hyun peeked at her sister-in-law's face and noticed how uncomfortable she had become as the young man started approaching toward them.

 

"-S-Shut it..." Na-Ra quickly shoot at Hyun before the approaching man could catch a glimpse on their conversation.

 

"-My name is Kishimoto Shin, your new neighbor." The young man smiled and sent his hand foward.

 

"-Nice to meet you!" Said Hyun as she shook his hand and smiled to the man before peeking yet again at Na-Ra. "-You are Japanese, right?"

 

"-Yes, I came aboard to study actually." Shin gazed at the red hair of Na-Ra and sensually he licked his lips. "-You are pretty..." He whispered in a tone that made both sisters to get confused.

 

"-Oh! Look at the time, I have to go prepare our dinner, will you help me Na-Ra?" Hyun created this opportunity to make her way out of this awkward situation alongside her sister-in-law.

 

"-Y-Yeah!" Na-Ra felt lost as she gazed through the man's eyes, she felt Hyun's hand grabbing her arm and dragged her away. "-Excuse us, Kishimoto!" She let out these words inconctiously.

 

Shin stood there a moment, gazing at the sky, he finally started going back to his house but, midway through he stopped and grinned. "-Such an innocent fools you two are..."

 

[...]

 

Hyun and Na-Ra were laughing in the living room, which made Seung-Jae walked several time in and out, wondering what he miss that was so funny, he finally decided to ask his fiancee about it rather than his sister.

 

"-What is so funny?" He seemed like a happy puppy around it's master for a second as he sat near to Hyun.

 

"-Nothing that concerns you." Na-Ra quickly answered, she always hated her brother's curiosity.

 

"-Shut it or I'll invite your husband over." Seung-Jae knew how this would shut his sister up, especially since he knew that she was in the process of getting a divorce with her husband.

 

"-How about you sleep in the living room tonight, Seung-Jae?" Hyun covered her sister-in-law, she had an evil smile targeted at her fiancee.

 

"-I am not sleeping here..." Seung-Jae turned the TV on, to get rid of his fustration.

 

The three of them stayed silent a little while, until Na-Ra decided to go to her room and probably get some sleep. "-I'll be in my room." She said with a gentle smile as she went away.

 

"-Hyun, about the wedding..." Seung-Jae's head naturally went down on his fiancee's shoulder. "-Have you already invited your friends?" He felt at ease on her shoulder, he felt protected, warmt, peace and love at the same time.

 

"-..." Hyun was hesitating a moment but, she finally decided to answer her future husband's question. "-I did but, they didn't gave me any answers yet."

 

"-What kind of friends are they?" Seung-Jae was often sarcastic but, somehow he did sound serious this time.

 

"-What about your brother back in America?" Hyun was curious about either she would be meeting the famous "black sheep" of the Kim family.

 

"-I didn't invite him..." Seung-Jae seemed a bit shook at the mention of his brother. "-Unless of course, if you plan on having my father die of an heart-attack."

 

Hyun felt that she shouldn't stick her nose more into it, she stayed silent but, with s gentle touch, she lifted her fiance's head off her shoulder and put her head down his thighs, which made him smile equally.

 

[...]

 

In the house that Shin Kishimoto lived in, not much luggages or appliances were there, he just had the necessary, the table that was in the kitchen had a laptop on it which Shin was using.

 

He was on the Wi-Fi menu, he had failed to enter the password at several occasions but, nonetheless he kept trying until finally he succeded.

 

"-Even hacking someone else's internet is an easy task." The young man grabbed an glass that had rum in it and drank it all in one go, he was an heavy drinker from the way he kept his face straight. "-How about the pretty lady?" He asked to himself out loud.

 

At the time, was it something that could have been stopped? One thing was for sure, that day, the wheels had moved and would soon be reaching the fate that had Kim Jae-Dong murdered...

[...]

 

As the heavy rain kept mourning the dead, Hyun was sitting near a police box with an detective that was involved with the Kim family for weeks now, never would he had imagine that such a serious crime, although things had escalated to a worrying state the week before the murder occurred.

 

With coffee in his hand, detective Kang Ki-Woo was reluctant about drinking his cup on such a sad day but, he would need it to keep investigating through the night, he knew it would be a long night.

 

As he scratch his messy hair, he felt like he had to put his feelings aside and ask about the suspects regardless of how badly Hyun might feel.

 

"-I know how hard it is for you but, let me tell you more about the suspects that had no alibi, ok?" Detective Ki-Woo took a deep breath and took his tablet out to find the names he had as suspects.

 

"-Please, go ahead..." Hyun looked so distant, she was barely holding up but, she knew that going through this was the only way to identify the murderer.

 

"-First is your husband, Kim Seung-Jae, he lied about his location when his father passed away..." Ki-Woo glanced at the woman as he mentionned her husband name but, he was surprise that almost no reaction was made.

 

"-..." Hyun wasn't affected nor surprised to hear her husband name.

 

"-The second one is Kim Na-Ra, she was inside your father-in-law's house at the time of death..." The detective kept sweeping the raindrops on his tablet and kept going. "-Suspect number three, Kim Jae-Kyu, your brother-in-law also lied on his location and was once charged of multiple cases of attempted murder cases..."

 

"-Two more left..." Hyun whispered to herself and kept her concentration on the suspects list, although the pain she was feeling was unbearable.

 

"-The suspect number four, Han Dong-Goo, he had threaten Mr. Kim various times and disappeared when your father-in-law was found dead..." Ki-Woo took a deep breath and finally took out a picture from his pocket. "...And, Kishimoto Shin, he has an active background in Japan, fraud, murderer, kidnapping and the list goes on..."

 

"-..." Hyun looked at the detective straight in his eyes but, she couldn't speak as tears started coming down from her eyes.

 

"-We will find the culprit, do not worry." Ki-Woo felt his chest aching him by the woman's tears, until finally he took out another picture. "-Park Yoon-So, your daughter's teacher is the last suspect..." The detective was surprise by Hyun's sudden movement to grab onto the picture.

 

"-What?! Why would she..."

 

In a puzzle, once the pieces are put together, we can see a clear and definite image of our goal but, unless it is completed, a puzzle isn't understandable nor does it has any meaning to it... The same thing can be applied in life and this is was a puzzle that was waiting to be completed.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1: Calm before disaster.

 

END

« Last Edit: August 30, 2017, 11:08:09 AM by HyunHyun »

Offline legomaestro

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Re: Love as our only weapon
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2017, 05:31:19 PM »
1. sadened
***saddened

2. the the hatred and unhappiness of others.
* remove one 'the'

3. ...were discussing amongs them.
***amongst

4.  First was Da-Hye, she was also pretty but, mostly mocked because of surguries done to her chin, she was your typical rich and pesky woman.
- Surgeries are typical?

5. "-You shouldn't say such things to Da-Hye, have you two started hating mens?"
***men

6. Hyun sighted and took her phone out to check the time. "11 A.M only..." She thought to herself.
-The young woman regain full interest in the conversation, she had raised her hand to the waiters to refill her cup.
***regained
***to the waiter

7. "-I want you guys to attend at my wedding next month!"
"-WHAT!?" Both Da-Hye and Yoon-Soo reacted, everyone in the restaurant turned around to look at what was disturbing their dinner.
-Dun dun duuun... Why are they so surprised at a wedding invitation?

8. Seung-Jae was the son of a wealthy man, he inherited his family buisness after the father passed away, he was very well looking, his feminine figure and gesture added a mysteriousity into him.
*** he was very good looking
*** added a sense of mystery to him / gave him a sense of mystery / added to his sense of mystery

9. "-Hey you, I told you not to call me that." Her father replied with a serious tone before starting the car engine. "-If you knew better, 32 years of age isn't old."
- Haha, I wish.

10. "-Kids this day are really scary and that is supposed to be my daughter..." He gave up talking any further with his daughter.
- I feel sorry for him...

11. Everyone around Da-Hye knew that her husband started dating a mistress behind her back, he wasn't the kind of man that had the idea of loyalty in mind, for him a wife was not different than a mistress. The young woman found out her husband San's relationship around two months later, her heart was broken but, she decided to cheat on her husband too although she was rather unsuccessful at it.
- Is it cheating when the other partner has already cheated?

12. How does a crime occurs? How does love strike One? Isn't it because One's daily life was broken? On this autumn morning, two events broke their routines. How should One knows when it has been changed?
*** occur
*** know

13. "-If it isn't my wonderful sister-in-law!" Na-Ra was smiling happily as her brother's fiancee stepped out of the car with her shoppings.
***shopping goods

14. "-Na-Ra, I am not lendimg you any money." Hyun understood that such a warm greeting was hiding some kind of motive to it.
*** lending

15. "-You were about to do so, right?" Hyun questionned with a gentle smile and looked around to see if her future husband was around but, her eyes met those of her new neighbor. "-Who is this?" She asked faintly to her sister-in-law.
*** asked with a gentle smile

16. "-S-Shut it..." Na-Ra quickly shoot at Hyun before the approaching man could caught a glimpse on their conversation.
***catch

17. Shin stood there a moment, gazing at the sky, he finally started going back to his house but, midway through he stopped and grin. "-Such an innoncent fool you two are..."
***grinned
***such innocent fools you are...

18. Hyun and Na-Ra were laughing in the living room, which made Seung-Jae walked several time in and out, wondering what did he miss that was so funny, he finally decided to ask his fiancee about it rather than his sister.
*** what he missed that was so funny

19. "-Nothing that concerns you." Na-Ra quickly answered, she always hated her brother curiousness.
*** her brother's curiosity

20. "-Shut it or I'll invite your husband over." Seung-Jae knew how this would shut his sister up, specially since he knew that she was in the process of getting a divorce with her husband.
***especially

21."-I am not sleeping here..." Seung-Jae turned the TV on, to throw away his fustration.
*** to get rid of his frustration

22. "-Even hacking someone else's internet is an easy task." The young man grabbed an glass that had rhum in it and drank it all in one go, he was an heavy drinker from the way he kept his face straight. "-How about the pretty lady?" He asked to himself out loud.
***rum

23. At the time, was it something that could have been stopped? One thing was for sure, that day, the wheels had moved and would soon be reaching the fate that had Kim Jae-Dong murdered...
- Oh no...

24. As the heavy rain kept mourning the dead, Hyun was sitting near a police box with an detective that was involved with the Kim family for weeks now, never would he had imagine that such an heavy crime would have occurred, although things had escalated to a worrying state the week before the murder occurred.
***such a serious crime

25. "-The second one is Kim Na-Ra, she was inside your father-in-law at the time of death..." The detective kept sweeping the raindrops on his tablet and kept going. "-Suspect number three, Kim Jae-Kyu, your brother-in-law also lied on his location and was once charged of multiple cases of attempted murder cases..."
*** by your father i-wa at the time of death (Being inside someone has a completely different meaning than implied)

26. In a puzzle, once the pieces are put together, we can see a clear and define image of our goal but, unless it is completed, a puzzle isn't understandable or has any meaning to it... The same thing can be applied in life and this is was a puzzle that was waiting to be completed.
***definite
*** nor does it have any meaning to it

27. Chapter 1: Calm before disaster.
- Title at the ending, quite cinematic.

Have you ever heard of Doctor Frost? It's the first korean adaptation of a webtoon that I ever watched after loving a webtoon a lot. I thought that I' only ever love japanese anime, but I seriously got affected by that one haha. This seems like a crime drama through and through, and I wish I could be able to understand it in the real sense of how it is written.

The huge amount of characters is hard to keep track of, so maybe I'll get a better idea of who they are in the coming chapters, but it seems like you put a lot of thought into how the drama unfolds. I wouldn't normally admit it, but I read some romance novels some time back and you seem to have a great format in terms of the character placement and the like, so that's well done! Good job.

But I need more experience when it comes to reading these sorts of stories. Na-Ra is my favourite character for some reason haha. I hope she can end up redeeming herself... And I hope she isn't the murderer.


Do you know about cellphone novels? Do you read any?

Offline HyunHyun

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Re: Love as our only weapon
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2017, 03:46:52 PM »
I adjusted some or all the points that you corrected!

I have heard of doctor frost, I liked it as well!

Most characters were introduced, I don't think that much more are gonna appear anytime soon except for 1 or 2 more.
I had made the original one but, as I usually write my stories in Korean, I may have badly wrote it? I think that you may understand it more as the story get going.

I enjoyed writing Na-Ra's character, I had a lot of fun creating her, I'm happy that you like her tbh!

Thank you very much for correcting my mistakes and reading my drama!