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Author Topic: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help  (Read 522 times)

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Offline twonoki

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i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« on: July 25, 2017, 11:15:41 PM »
hey guys im a writer but i dont know how to draw im working on light novels and one day when i find a good dedicated artist ill turn it into a manga but for now im just writing the hardest part for me is writing action pack fighting scenes without it sounding boring i want to write interesting fight scenes that keeps the reader at the end of there seat anyone have any advice

Online Forlorn Serpent

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2017, 11:41:23 PM »
This thread thing will get moved. Make sure to read where you post your stuff. I would say this could go to writing general discussion, or develop your story.

To see where you are at, write this fight scene. Then I'll give advice.

A man is thrown through a window from the outside. Three zombie ninjas jump through the window, now trapping the man inside a room. Each ninja carries a Specific ninja weapon. The man looks around and uses various objects to battle with them. He wins.

Okay so write this fight scene the way you see fit.

Offline twonoki

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2017, 12:34:58 AM »
jason runs fast as he can down a dark street hoping to lose the swarm of zombies that were behind him, when he turned the corner by the warehouse he bumped into a zombie who grabbed him by the shoulders, jason tries to shake the zombie off of him but the zombies grip was to strong, the zombie lifted him up by the collar and threw him threw the warehouse window, glass shattered piecing threw jason's side but only causing a minor injury's jason got up quickly and noticed he was in a small room with a iron door he knew this was a bad situation as he heard the roars of the zombies coming so he ran towards the door but it was locked then 3 ninja zombies came flipping through the window jason was thrown threw, now trapping jason inside the room. the ninja zombies had weapons in there hands. one of them had a spear, the other had a kunai, and the last ninja zombie had a katana blade. one of the zombies licked there lips glaring at jason, but jason was a survivor he thought to himself "no i cant die here" jason looks around the room and finds a half broken medal pole that was once used to heat up the warehouse near the medal door and he ripped it off as the zombies charged him. the zombie with the katana swung its blade with the goal of chopping jasons head off, but jason ducked and rolled. as jason was coming up of the roll he poked the zombie with the kunai knife in though the chest with the pole, blood splattered everywhere on jasons face blinding him in one eye. when jason looked up the zombie with the spear leaped up and kicked off the ceiling flying right at jason with the tip of the spear pointed towards jasons face. jason could barly see but he parried the zombies spear with the medal pole(CLING), it threw the zombie off balance and jason swung the pole like a bat and knocked the zombies head off. jason grabbed his side still in pain from the glass injury when the third ninja katana blade surprised him from behind piecing threw his shoulder. jason ran forward and dropped the pole as he fell and back into the corner of the room. the ninja zombie licked its lips and dropped the katana blade then leaped towards jason like a wild dog trying to have a fiest. the zombie landed on jason, as it went for the bite jason grabbed its face with one hand and pulled a pencil out his pocket with the other hand then stabbed the zombie in the temple


how is that be honest and brute

Offline shishi02

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2017, 01:19:31 AM »
Hiya, I'm having a hard time reading your work. Is it possible if you divide your sentences into paragraphs and make the sentences simpler?

Sorry for the trouble

Offline The SlamJam

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2017, 03:58:42 AM »

You said to be honest and brutal. This isn't good.


If you are to become a writer, then it is important to study English. Your writing style is very, very childish (high school level i'd say). Your excerpt lacks structure, narrative and flow. You consistently make grammatical errors, and the long-winded sentences just don't make any sense.


Re-think your stories through, and study literature that you enjoy reading. The whole point of being a writer is that you're supposed to be better at it than your artist, which won't be the case for 99% of artists in your current state. Why would an artist work with someone, when they can barely understand their writing.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2017, 04:00:15 AM by The SlamJam »

Online Forlorn Serpent

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2017, 09:48:24 AM »
Jeez, unlike my fellows here, I'll actually help.

Keep in mind rough drafts and first drafts mean the same thing. They should be almost 100% free of obvious errors. Yes, you clearly went overboard with your sentences and didn't structure any of your writing. I don't know if this is because you just copy-paste from an outside application and it just destroyed your paragraph structure, or this is just a quick write you did and didn't know we expected more from a sample.

So to start things, how did you come up with the written sample? That was the point of this exercise. Did you just expand from the description given or did you sit down and plan how each character was going to behave?

To add another writing exercise, write the same fight scene differently 2 more times. This time, each fight should be 1000 words minimum. Post all three writing samples so I can see if there is a trend in your writing.

Offline twonoki

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2017, 01:14:21 PM »
yea i didnt bother to edit i just explained more from what he gave me i do need more practice writing im still new i just got characters and ideas in my head from a show i made when i was younger i been thinking about this show i got called twonoki ninjas since i was a kid and i advanced the characters in my head over the years i just want to bring it alive ik i still need help writing i will learn thanks for the criticism i need that

Offline The SlamJam

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2017, 01:15:32 PM »
yea i didnt bother to edit i just explained more from what he gave me i do need more practice writing im still new i just got characters and ideas in my head from a show i made when i was younger i been thinking about this show i got called twonoki ninjas since i was a kid and i advanced the characters in my head over the years i just want to bring it alive ik i still need help writing i will learn thanks for the criticism i need that


You reaaaally need to start using punctuation. Your text is very hard to understand sometimes.

Offline Shane

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2017, 02:08:02 PM »
WelcometoMR twonoki 4sure uwill like ithere andihope ucan findartist u like althoughi
gottapoint it out thatdrawing fightscenes it noteasyto do so+umentionthat u want it wiout boringwill makeeven more hard
andyes i noticethat somepeople alreadypoint outsomeof mistakethat u need tofix.you couldtry writedifferent scenesandshow ittous


ialso trymybest tocommunicate english thatmatch ustyle ihopeulike it

Offline twonoki

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2017, 03:38:27 PM »
so if i do my writing in paragraphs every 5 sentences then put my periods where they belong will my writing be acceptable???

Online Forlorn Serpent

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2017, 03:42:44 PM »
Word choice and descriptions should also be improved on. But let's see how it goes with paragraphs and periods. I would suggest starting over with a different interpretation of the same fight scene.

Offline twonoki

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2017, 04:03:11 PM »

You said to be honest and brutal. This isn't good.


If you are to become a writer, then it is important to study English. Your writing style is very, very childish (high school level i'd say). Your excerpt lacks structure, narrative and flow. You consistently make grammatical errors, and the long-winded sentences just don't make any sense.


Re-think your stories through, and study literature that you enjoy reading. The whole point of being a writer is that you're supposed to be better at it than your artist, which won't be the case for 99% of artists in your current state. Why would an artist work with someone, when they can barely understand their writing.




this was the criticism i was looking for. i have a question. what do you mean by structure narrative and flow? i need an example of this so i can improve. i really want to write my novels but what good are they if i cant write that well. its crazy because the images i have in my head are amazing but getting them out is another story

Offline Vacant

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2017, 06:06:52 PM »
Warning...Cliched advice incoming! The best way to improve is to practice.

But to give a more specific answer to your question, some advice for writing action.

                    Do some prep work before writing the battle. Think of the emotions and actions that led to the battle taking place. Is it an ambush by some random, faceless thugs? Is it a showdown with a hated rival that the whole story has led up to?  These things will help set the pacing, motives and length of the fight.

                    Think of the end goal of the battle. How will it affect the story and characters involved? You always want some form of development or progression as a result of the conflict, particularly when it comes to the written kind. As you're lacking the visual component in a battle, you'd be hard pressed to fully explain some intricate sequence and do it the same justice that a manga/animation would.
                    One thing to do is focus instead on the other aspects going on. The ferocity of how someone swung their sword, where they're aiming their strikes etc. Its not so much the action as the intent behind it. That way, the readers learning about the combatants and what they're all about.

                    This is more of a personal thing, but I grew up watching Wrestling and as such I tend to structure battles the same way you would a wrestling match. You have the fighters coming in with some kind of objective or history between them. There's a lot of psychology on display, the action ebbs and flows. It tells a story throughout.  There can be lots of false finishes, betrayals and twists and turns, all culminating in an epic finish.

                     When actually writing the action, try not to break the flow of battle. Don't distract a reader with obscure descriptive words. Don't "cut" away from the action for too long. For example, if say a massive army were charging down our heroes, its fine to enter their head and feel the emotions they're going through, or have them exchange some last thoughts and poignant dialogue. But, do this for too long and the reader could forget the charge was happening. The tension from the scene is alleviated. 

                      i'll try to add more to this, but that's all I coul reel off right now. hope that helps.

Offline Coryn

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2017, 10:44:01 PM »
Iteration my friend. You write a fight scene, then rewrite, then rewrite, etc. That's how to develop a truly good fight. But as a more immediate answer: know what's cool. Consume enough fights that you have a sense for what does and does not work. What makes them compelling, what makes you bored. A major component of all writing is having the experience with something that you can faithfully recreate it.

A second tip is to keep up with the timeline of things. All fights should be possible within the rules of the universe. If you need a character to be in a certain position, don't have them on the other side of the battle two lines earlier. If you can't follow your own logic, then the reader won't either.

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Offline S8N

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Re: i need advice on writing fight scenes plzz help
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2017, 12:19:35 AM »
Fight scenes are not just fight scenes. They are a build up of character and tension leading to an exact moment. The best way to write a proper fight scene is to create a connection to the reader and the character(s) within the fight. Try reading many stories out there, it is not the fight scenes themselves that really stand out, but everything surrounding it. A story is there for the story, not the action.

Now visually, there is a lot more leverage about creating awesome fight scenes. Assuming that you turn your story into a graphic novel, it is much easier just to write a script than a novel. Scripts allow writers to show rather than tell, which brings more versatility in creating fight scenes. Often times what we think is boring word-wise (IE: John swung wildly at Jack) is the flesh and bone of visual presentation.

The tips I'm going to present you are going to help regardless of which approach you take. They will give you a bit better of an understanding of how to properly lead up to a good action scene.

Understanding CURS. CURS is a technique primarily for world building. Assuming that your story has fight scenes in the first place, it either revolves around a different world entirely, or a part of the world that we don't know of (in a manner of speaking, the fantastical element).

C- Contrast (from our world). You want to, throughout a story, define clear differences in the setting that your protagonist resides in in comparison to the world and environment that we live in.
U- Unknown. There are unknowns to you (the author) and your audience. Aliens, secret agencies, murderers, vampires... These are all examples of things that are unfamiliar to us, and thus contributes to the suspense of the story.
R- Repetition. The most important thing in fantasy is to make the world familiar to the reader. Prior to this, introducing new concepts in the story can come across as confusing. It is important to establish the foundations through repetition before experimenting with new concepts.
S- Start small. A story or setting always should be small, and slowly grow to understanding for the reader. As your plot grows more and more intense, so will the tension behind it.

So now, what is the driver of good action? Conflict. You need to use CURS to create the tension so it is around in an action scene. Before the fight, certain traits of the story need already be clearly established.

- Great characters and world
- Themes and story
- Stakes

After the characters have something that they want or want to protect, there is stakes that will drive momentum in the fight itself. Sometimes, there are things that makes us want to continue reading. Have you ever really wanted a character to beat his rival? Did you ever want to scream at a character to warn him? These are done not by the immediate fight, but all the tension built up before it. You really want the character to win because the villain killed his family. You want the character to fall in love because you adore the girl that likes him. You want to tell the character to run away because you know he is walking in a trap. All of that is possible because you care about the characters.

There are techniques used to further improve the fight itself. However, these should be used sparingly since it often can come across as unnecessary and cliche.

Revelation- A character is fighting his enemy when he learns "the truth". A missing piece in his past. A characteristic of the villain that he and the reader never considered. A stake that was not known until the scene. Revelation is used to strengthen the reader's connection or understanding of not only the protagonists, but the antagonist as well.

Dialogue- Typically, we would not be talking all too much in a fight. Rage, to an average being, would cloud too much of our judgement to approach a situation like we see in TV shows, movies, etc. However, in the world of writing, communication between the characters is a method of introducing new information to the reader, and should be used in such a manner.

Shift- Stories can usually shift during the course of a fight. The shift can often be in the winning side of the fight, or a character's viewpoint of something. Regardless, it is important to have shifts in a story for dynamic characters to thrive, and often these shifts will occur during fight scenes.

The last thing I wanted to address is stakes, but most importantly, how it applies to the characters.

Personal stakes- These are often the most important stakes. They are built upon relationships developed from character interaction and preexisting knowledge. Personal stakes ARE ALWAYS stronger than world connections, and are the most impactful in the story itself. Down to the core, if a character won our hearts, it is that bond the reader has over the character that keeps them flipping the pages.

World connection- Sometimes, there needs to be a stake that goes beyond the reader. Though this can often be uninteresting, it can be quite a read if executed correctly. The most important thing is to make sure that you don't sacrifice characters and their backstories at the expense of writing a world connection. Most writers often make flaws when developing world connections, usually in efforts to prolong their story. Manga series like Dragon Ball Z and Bleach fell victim to this, where the story itself became less of a personal issue and more of a "save the world/universe" or "get stronger" type of plot development. This makes a boring plot. Trust me.

With that in mind, it is important to know where to draw a line. When we say that stories often get progressively worse, it's because they lose all the personal stakes that were prevalent in the first few episodes of the series. It doesn't mean that the follow up is automatically awful, but it very well can be. Down to the core, stakes are a necessity of writing a proper fight scene, but we much rather read a story about a heartbroken hero swearing vengeance on his friend's killer than a cliche Gary/Mary Sue who's out there trying to save the world.



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And I typed too much :P
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